Would you agree that the reasons disclosed within this post are why you would not often - if not never - consider being involved with a single parent?

[Anonymous]

I look at the situation of single fathers & mothers logically. To me:

It indicates that the person struggles with meaningful relationships. Why are they single? Were they cheating? Were they involved with a cheater? Were they the douchebag their partner left? Or involved with someone unsavory - and what baggage is that going to be?

Then there is the potential hassle of the previous partner and biological parent of the child being involved in that child's life & thus adding unnecessary baggage to a future relationship.

.

But more than anything I look at it like this... it is not biologically benefical to get involved with a single mother or father.

Both women and men to want their own children with their partner.

Raising someone else's child is NOT beneficial to the man or (with single fathers) woman's bloodline. It can actually be determental if the single mother or father favours their first offspring over any resulting children that are conceived with current partner.

Seriously.

Why else do single mothers and fathers have some of the HARDEST times finding new partners? I have even heard single mothers is quite often found on online dating sites not disclosing they have kids because they know they would almost never be contacted.

Updates

1 y

The ONLY exception to the above first paragraphs is if the partner died.

A widower or widow is completely different than someone whose partner said enough is enough, get out & get lost.

[D_Bone_Steak]

You pretty much gave all the reasons... I'd have added maybe they're just batshit insane and ran the baby's daddy or mother off. $$$I'd add that they're money pits$$$ Other than that, you pretty much said it all and I agree with you.

From my own experience, it's a quick ticket to having a relationship with the most hateful and argumentative person you have ever met. You'll quickly learn why the baby's other parent ran off as fast as they could run.

[Asker]

When I tried online dating - for a month - I found that a lot of the single fathers had issues. They were typically divorced and bluntly put there were some at times very obvious reasons why.

There was even one who was "separated" but living with his former partner still... and it gets better apparently she was abusive. He apparently reported her, etc., etc. and yet stayed. Despite the fact he was the working house member & she stay at home.

This is all via chatting on Match & I unraveled his lies (he was obviously lying at parts) until it became clear he was the narassitic abusive partner.

[Asker]

I also heard talking with the more decent guys that the single mothers were often with issues too.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Another user is making a good point that she's not trying to make about the rape stuff... You'll be dealing with all that baggage from her being a rape victim as well. Another form of batshit crazy you'd have to deal with along with a damn rape baby and the problems that brings. It's not advantageous in any way to look at it.

[Asker]

What a lot of people - particularly if they've never been or have friends/relatives who were - don't realize about rape / rape babies is that it is psychologically damaging to keep the baby.

It's a "constant reminder" about the situation.

Some women can look beyond that but vast majority of women can not - particularly those who were raped badly (as in physical harm on top of the rape). Furthermore in some states the rapist can actually sue for or petition for custody / visitation rights. Which would damn hard to deal with.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Oh god, imagine having to meet your rapist every other weekend for 18 years. That's like punishment for being the victim. If I was her I'd abort the shit out of the kid and try to just put it all behind me. Even in conservative states that are all anti-abortion for religious reasons, they give a pass to rape victims... and I think giving that pass has good reasons behind it.

[RavVid]

I don't think anyone here would claim single dads were not without their issues.

It is not a good indicator if some one can forget about what birth control is. Admittedly you only have to stuff up once and nothing is 100%.

[Anonymous]

You are an idiot and very judgmental. You sit there claiming it's not beneficial to raise someone else's child. Geez what a way to be heartless towards all those people who did step in and help raise someone's else child if it wasn't for those people those kids would never have known the love of men or woman who that kids sees as their parent and you sit there claiming because they are single parents it indicates they can't have meaningful relationships how pathetic you are because it doesn't indicate this at all.

Would you say that shit to someone who is a single parent because they were raped? Would you say that shit to someone who was married but the husband decided he didn't want kids and left her. But hey go and be a judgmental heartless person and accuse them of not being able to have meaningful relationships when you no Jack shit about why they are single parents. People like you who judge others I seriously hope the world makes your life a living hell

[D_Bone_Steak]

*Sniffs the air* Mmmmmm, I smell single baby ma ma drama right here.

[Asker]

You sit there claiming it's not beneficial to raise someone else's child. > Name one benefit, sweetie.

Would you say that shit to someone who is a single parent because they were raped? > Most women get abortions or give the child up for adoption. It's incredibly hard, and only a moron does not understand such, to look at a child of rape without seeing the rapist. I work in mental health sweetie and that includes working in women's shelters for 10 years. I know more about rape & the affects it has on women than you'll ever dream of knowing.

[Asker]

single parents it indicates they can't have meaningful relationships > most can't. If that wasn't the case they wouldn't be single parents now would they? Doesn't make any sense to say otherwise.

There is a reason why they're single and in western society, particularly as it is becoming more and more common, that's because they couldn't do better than screwing whoever said hello to them at a bar & forgetting what birth control was.

If that wasn't the case on things like online dating - such as Match - single mothers (and fathers) would be PROUD to say that they have children. Not spring it on a date like a bad pair of socks. And there's plenty of horror stories on GAG and elsewhere of single mothers (and dads) doing just that.

[RavVid]

I think it is on the money. I'd add financial burden as well.

[LazerBean]

Yeah, I actually do agree with that.