Would you move 5 hours away to start a relationship with a guy you met online?

[Anonymous]

yes

no

[SteveSmith1985]

It depends on how intimate and close that connection is. So if we had been in a long-distance relationship for 3 years, and both wanted to bring the relationship forward because we were hoping to get married in a few years. If that's the case, then it makes perfect sense to do this.

If this is someone who you've been in this relationship with for a year, and you're not so sure you want to spend your life with this guy... then no.

It's a big step. Is the relationship solid enough to justify turning ones life upside-down? I may be. But that's the question. If things seem totally promising, and it's been long enough to be reasonably confident in your future plans together, then I absolutely would move 5 hours away.

But if I wasn't positive of that... then it's too soon to do. You don't move 5 hours away "on a chance" that your relationship will work out. You do it when you're sure. As one of the steps in a long-term commitment (often marriage).

You know what's way harder than moving 5 hours away to start a relationship with a guy you met online? Moving back if it was a bad decision. That's... legitimately way way harder and more complicated to do. Make sure you're very sure that you're unlikely to have to do that.

So this is a super-dumb thing to do unless you have a damn-good basis for doing it. But if you do have that base, then it is basically "a requirement" at some point, unless you're planning to be long-distance forever. But don't make the decision too soon.

You should feel that "you're late" in moving to be with him. As in... your relationship is already close/strong enough, that you probably would have been justified moving in with him 6 months earlier... but you waited just in case. Now you feel "late" in moving to be with him. Like you're very very sure it's the right decision, and feel a bit silly for being as overly-cautious as you're being. THAT is what you ideally want.

[OlderAndWiser]

My girlfriend and I were long distance (80 miles, or 130 km) and spent almost every weekend together for seven months before we decided that she would move to my hometown. She already knew some people who live here and she can easily visit friends in her old hometown whenever she wants to visit.

Don't move to someplace where the only person you know is him - especially that far away - unless you are convinced that he is The One.

[Screenwriter]

If your only relationship is one of words, never. You cannot know a person unless you have regular in-person contact with them. You need to meet their friends, family, if possible. Learn how they live and act over time. Months and months.

You should, in most cases, not remove yourself from the life you know, your family and friends and ONLY have that new person as the singular person you are with. This sounds like a scenario that is isolating and, frankly, frightening. You have no safety net if something goes wrong.

If this man is so devoted to you, let HIM come TO YOU. Let him visit you two or so times a month. See if you actually mesh after ACTUAL dating. Virtual dating and talking don't cut it.

People are on their best behavior online, on the phone, in texts/emails. It's not until you're with them that you see how they DO NOT suit you. Don't make any major move before you know much more about this man. Talk, as they say, is cheap. People will say anything and everything to lure you, and then disappoint you when their actions do not match their words.

Don't accept excuses that he can't visit because of his job or lack of money. If you are important, he will find a way. If he's making excuses now, that is a giant red flag. And that HE IS NOT coming to you is another one. Proceed with circumspect and caution.

[Anonymous]

Depends. I would’ve had to have known him for a while and hung out a comfortable amount of times.

[Asker]

2/3 months

[Opinion Owner]

That’s not long at all. My boyfriend and I celebrated our 1 yr in January and don’t plan to move in together til late summer. You should take some real time to get to know him first, rather than move in bc of the distance.

[Opinion Owner]

Also to hang out in person.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I wouldn't. My cancer treatment plan has me going to Boston every month and where I live now gives me the ability to take the train there. I can't drive due to possible seizures that can happen at any time. Going another five hours away would disrupt my life a lot.

[WaterIsland]

Nope. Not to start a relationship. If it develops into something serious and it was the right decision, then sure. But too many unknowns to move just to “start a relationship”.

[SnowedIn]

Probably not but it depends on how long I've known them.

[Asker]

2 months

[SnowedIn]

Zero judgement. But, for me personally, I would not do that.

[Lucy68]

It depends but yes I would honestly, plus I'm not afraid and would actually be excited to start the new chapter in my life

[GOOSEBOY78]

if it doesn't work your stuck 5 hours away from where you were.

try for a weekend, so if it doesn't work you have only wasted a weekend and back at work on Monday

[Drumlin2001]

How many time have you visited? Before moving I'd have to spend time there, visit for a week or two a few times. Moving is a big step.

[XXblack88]

Not to start one but if been with the guy long enough sure.

[LiamJHayden]

Changing the sex, I would not move five hours away to start a relationship with a girl. My roots run too deep where I am.

[Snakeyes7]

Not immediately. I wouldn't mind traveling to see her first before I make the decision to move.

[Cheerfull009]

There are lot of people travelled to other countries to meet their online partners, I have seen many people whose partners came to Pakistan and married their partners, met on social media

[LazerBean]

Not unless we are getting married.

[SnowedIn]

But what if I simp for you? In that case would you let me move 5 hours away to be near you?

[LazerBean]

Maybe if you mow my lawn for free as needed.

[SnowedIn]

Okay! Yes! Okay! *panting* I weed eat too.

[LazerBean]

You had better.