Do you think teaching men how to approach women they don't know will help find their dream mate or just encourage street harassment?

Question

As a former PUA instructor these days it can get ugly quick. What do you think?

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

I think nobody knows anybody until you say hello. Mom and Dad always taught us to never talk to strangers but strangers have everything we need and want in life. We sell to strangers, we befriend strangers, we sometimes help strangers in need. So I think if it's taught the right way then yes it's possible to find someone to connect with long term. If you never talk to anyone in life nothing will happen.

RolandCuthbert · Accepted Answer

I don't recommend approaching women who are complete strangers. I recommend developing the skills you need to socialize successfully. I don't get the whole obsession.

Why does everything have to go from zero to 100? I mean, why can't guys just learn how to flirt and talk first?

Guy13 · Answer

Somebody has to make the move and the guy should be doing it despite what the Culture says about guys not being men.

Luopio27 · Answer

I am a former PUA London student and that course was a life saver. They were so highly organised and dedicated to implementing the mindset to go out there and work on your own qualities of atraction.

None of the stuff they thought was anything illegal or unethical. All of it was professional enough to make any mother proud of their son who was a trainer. They didn't teach us to lie, fool or mislead women, they thought us to become men that take responsibility over their own actions like a man, not a kid running away from problems they caused.

When it comes down to prettiest of girls, before London they would only accept me as a meaningless facebook friend. After, I was able to become a real friend to some. Just not good enough to be boyfriend, but that progress was more than all the years before it combined.

Anyway, PUA is a field that no one can insure what kind of teachers, methods and students will collide. So yes, it is inevitable for rotten eggs not to get into the basket.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

I think a lot of the time the approach isn't the issue... It's the not taking no for an answer. Not recognizing when someone is just responding to you because they don't want to risk making you angry.

I had a guy talk to me at the bus stop one time, conversation was friendly and casual I don't mind that at all. Then he started asking personal questions, I stopped making eye contact and moved slightly away and didn't answer. Got on the bus, he sat In front of me and continued talking to me, despite my lack of response. I genuinely started getting worried he was going to get off at my stop and I was making a plan to head to my parents house instead of my own because they have security cameras.

The next day, I walked into the main area of my work and there he was, sitting on the couch. Then I finished work, he was at the bus stop. The next day he was at my work again. This went on for about a week, got to the point where the owner of my company had to ask him to leave.

Anonymous · Answer

Problem is, there are a lot of schools of thought on what works and what doesn't.

What's the goal? Because different people teach different things. Pick up for a one night stand is probably a different approach to "I just want to take you out for coffee and get to know you..." Mystery is a lot different from Matthew Hussey, but both are "dating coaches" (in a loose definition).

I'm not what women are looking for around here. I can try to talk to them at parties, just be friendly, and I'm probably "harassing" some of them for saying hello. I don't have the height, looks, body, fashion sense, etc to talk to them (without them looking like they want to be rid of me). I wouldn't approach random women because that'd go over like a lead balloon.

Add in that most relationships seem to fail... it's probably not going to turn out to be their "dream mate." Most guys would probably be accused of being creepy or harassing women when they're just... average or ugly looking, no matter what they say.

Screenwriter · Answer

Men approach women all the time in bars, at weddings, at baseball games, sports events, in class, at a church event: EVERYWHERE. There is nothing wrong with approaching a woman.

What is wrong is when a man does not read a woman's body language, and doesn't listen to her lack of warm response to his approach.

If it appears a woman wants to be left alone, leave her alone. If she responds in one-word answers, she's not interested. If she crosses her arms and legs, those are "closing off" maneuvers, meaning she's not open to your advances.

Smiles, leaning in, asking a man for more information about himself, what he's doing, what his work is, where he lives, are all positive "Go" signals.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I don't think it will encourage intentional harassment, but it will encourage a lot of activity that will most likely be perceived as harassment by the women on the receiving end. (Because guys are slow learners, and they will be very sloppy and awkward as they are learning.) So, it will essentially have the same effect. Therefore, I think it would be a very stupid idea.
(Unless classes can be taught in a controlled environment with willing female volunteers to act as practice subjects.)

Potteplante · Answer

Teaching men how to react and behave when rejected - or not met with open arms by a stranger would help more.

I do not mind being approached by strangers, I at times find it flattering but I must admit that I always fear how a man will react when the outcome isn't as they had hoped.

Keyboardkat · Answer

Presumably, teaching men how to approach women would include teaching them NOT to harass women on the street! Back in my single days when I was young and debonaire (hard to believe today!) I went out with many girls, and I always had a good time and I hope the girls did, too. And I NEVER had to resort to harassing a girl on the street or elsewhere. The key is accepting that girls are just people, just like us guys, and that a girl deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. It's just common sense. I think we need a return to the old days and the old values. A girl is not a piece of meat in a market!

BigWhiteWolf87 · Answer

First off PUAs only teach how to pickup sluts. The typical approach and lines are cheap, sometimes sleazy, and all around stupid for a woman with self respect. That's why there's so many "experts" - joke of the century - on youtube, Instagram, TikTok.

As Ronald said work on socialization skills.

This is far superior than the typical "PUA instructor" saying he can teach you how to pickup a girl when his typical experience is limited to drunk dimbos at a bar or club.

Socialization skills means a guy can approach a woman like any normal person can... instead of being some sleazeball with cheap pickup lines. FAR more INTELLIGENT

.

Lionman95 · Answer

I´d say yes as long as the teaching guys stays the focus. The problem I see is that those guys soon favor the power and money they could get over helping guys.

I think it could be helpful especially in terms of helping guys finding the kind of woman that´s good for them and it terms of holding guys accountable and help them understand the social dynamics between men and women.

I don´t think that a guy that harrasses women is taught to be like that. He just knows that he has the abilities and power to do so. That´s something you that will never be avoided because these guys can play the game better.

melanieeeB · Answer

How to approach women in a good, polite and respectful way? Yes, I think that would be good

How to approach women like a total creep? Hell no, all those "how to be an alpha male" bullshit and andrew tates advice bullshit shows you that it's the worst you can do to harm young males.

Anonymous · Answer

It would certantly help, particular given how legally complicated and dangerous approaching a woman you don't know is in the west.

Leftist legislators and Court's passed all theses laws violating the 1st amendment trying to "improve" things for women reducing "harassment" but they didn't bother to tell any guy how to legally and safely talk to any women under their new speech laws.

As such meeting anyone is more and more legally risky because you have no idea how the woman you don't know will react. This on top of the fear of rejection already being hard to overcome just means fewer and fewer men (selectively the bad boys) will ever approach a woman.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

It will only help a limited number of men who respond well to that type of training. Dating coaches and PUA training won't work for the people who need it the most. Only a small minority will go to someone like that, and they are far more likely to respond well to it. Just like someone who hires a personal trainer at the gym is more likely to get in shape than a couch potato who never steps foot in a gym. It's comparing apples to oranges.

ShellyB · Answer

Teaching men to approach women they don't know might lead to both good and bad outcomes, teaching men HOW to approach women they don't know should lead to mostly good outcomes I think so I voted dream mate since the word "how" is in the question, JMO!

loveslongnails · Answer

Who's going to do the teaching, and where's the information coming from? LOL I think it's a) very cultural b) very age based and c) highly subjective.

I think you can get some basic agreements on things from a survey of thousands of women, but man, what a task. LOL

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

It's sometimes easier to tell just by looking at their face, but really, the only way to know is to approach. I tried enough for my lifetime. If a woman actually approaches and I'm interested, I'll give it a shot. If not, I've been alone long enough where the pain is lessening.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

Well, depending on where you are it might not be the best idea. If it's a bar where people look for dates maybe, but just out on a the street being approached by random strangers would seem too forward to me.

AmyHew1tt · Answer

I think it will help with 'street harassment,' actually if guys are taught how to do it right, and not come off as odd. We could all learn, I guess.

AdithyaR · Answer

I would assume teaching them to approach women would also include learning to analyse and know when it is not the right time to approach. If the guy learns that and practices it well, he could avoid harrassing someone.

Anonymous · Answer

From what I understand, street harassment is just "unwanted" attention while walking along the street.

You'd think that only hostile interactions would count as unwanted but really any interactions could count. The ones done by men who never meant any harm could have been unwanted but the only way the man would really know that for sure is when he does the deed and talks to her.

This would probably only lead to innocent people getting prosecuted in my opinion.

mixedjason · Answer

I walk up say hello, ask some basic questions. Like how long she been at this school, does she do anything after school like cheer, dance or sports. If she's receptive rad, if not time to bounce.. C YA

OddBeMe · Answer

Just creating atmospheres of unisex conversation whilst growing up will solve both problems. Why is gender important anyway? Safety for kids, priority, education priority. Nothing else, really.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I think it's helpful, but everything needs done with the right energy and intent.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Only if taught right. Now what is the right way no idea because some will probably still feel creeped out.

Vaporvan · Answer

How are these men expected to know any women if they're not allowed to approach them? There has to be some middle ground between talking to a stranger and out and out harassment.

zagor · Answer

Depends. That PUA stuff is BS. But teaching confidence in appropriate social situations would definitely be helpful.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

What I’m still trying to figure out is why most guys still have it in their heads that women are actually worthwhile approaching. I’ve got better uses of my time, no thanks

Spiritofn · Answer

Both haha it's just a chance to strike conversation is all.

PatriceONeal · Answer

Pua has been dead for over a decade, its manipulation and doesn't work for men. We are on the redpill now. Catch up.

Anonymous · Answer

If a man needs lessons on this, he might as well give up. It is not complicated.

Aphrodite801 · Answer

Former what? 😂😂😂 imagine not being embarrassed to admit such crap

Mayo503 · Answer

That all depends on the woman / girl  How do they take it in …?

Anonymous · Answer

Street harassment, the elites are seperating genders as we speak

msc545 · Answer

It will lead to more men getting rejected or friend-zoned.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

If you can't approach or open women just give up and transmax or whatever its called.

krin_m · Answer

I'm not sure, it may be perceived as harassment.

Anonymous · Answer

Shouldn't it REDUCE the instances of street harassment? How do you get that it increases it?

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Yes, not only men, women should also taught, how to trap the opposite gender

captain_voidwalker · Answer

One day you people will learn its not how you approach women it's who approaches women that determines if it's creepy or not.

Heolurt · Answer

These days it's harassment just to approach girls.

jimmy2 · Answer

Yes I do

Do you think teaching men how to approach women they don't know will help find their dream mate or just encourage street harassment?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do men not approach women they think are out of their leagues?

Do you think teaching men how to approach women they don't know will help find their dream mate or just encourage street harassment?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do men not approach women they think are out of their leagues?

We're glad to see you liked this post.