Why do I feel so invisible since I hit my thirties?

[Anonymous]

Guys my own age won’t talk to me on dating sites anymore, unless they want sex. Or else they start talking to me then change their minds. Also, I’m quite intelligent and outgoing. That seems to make some men uncomfortable. The men that initially think I’m worth a shot. Then they disappear. Are there any tips on how I might improve my approach, without acting dependent on a man or stupid?

[MaazHussain]

It can be challenging to understand why certain things happen, but it's important to remember that everyone has their own preferences and priorities when it comes to dating and relationships. While it may feel discouraging that guys your own age aren't talking to you on dating sites or seem uncomfortable with your intelligence and outgoing personality, it's important to continue to be true to yourself and not compromise your values or personality to try to fit someone else's expectations.

One approach you could try is to focus on meeting people outside of dating sites, such as through activities or events that align with your interests. This can help you meet people who share similar values and interests, and you may find it easier to connect with them on a deeper level. Additionally, it can be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with any potential partners about your values and what you are looking for in a relationship. This can help ensure that you are on the same page and not wasting time on someone who isn't a good match for you. Finally, it's important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to dating and relationships, and it may take some time to find the right person who appreciates and values you for who you are.

[ShiftingMonke]

The intelligence is likely a big factor. I won't suggest you talk yourself down, but bear in mind, men around our age (who are single) are very likely single for a reason. They've been around the block enough to know that they think they know women. If you come in and shake that belief by being a challenge, it's gonna knock them off their stride a bit; that can't be avoided. They simply want an easy conquest and you're not providing it, rightly so. But don't give up hope. You may just have to start looking in different places, as decent men get harder and harder to find as the best ones routinely get taken off the market. As for tips on how to keep one on the hook, perhaps joining them with one of their interests? It's likely they have a hobby, and if you can tag along during a date and exhibit genuine curiosity, they may take more of an interest to you, as your intelligence and gregariousness will show and they likely haven't experienced a woman like that. More so if you can strike up a conversation about your own interests or hobbies. Granted, I'm being very generous with my hopes for the men in your area, but it may be a start.

[TheSpaceGnome]

That is really bad advice.

Intelligent men don't think that way, thats the way players think.
She should not change herself or do hobbies she doesn't like to attract a guy, let alone one thats not as intelligent.

[Guy13]

You are no longer Wifey and Baby making material. YOur shelf life has expired.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Nothing you said sounds offputting, I don't have enough information to suggest a solution though. How detailed is your about me section? Does it describe your interests and hobbies and goals? Are your pics unedited but flattering? What are your listed dealbreakers, if any?

[bamesjond0069]

"without acting dependent on a man or stupid?"

I mean you're too smart for your own good. Smart isn't bad, but if you won't be dependent on a man, you will need to be a sugar mama. Relationships for men must have some kind of purpose (love isn't it), so either you depend on him or he depends on you. Otherwise you're just someone to fuck they have zero responsibility for and that makes you easy to dump ghost etc.

[Paul09]

Welcome to the world of online dating. It sucks. Full of disappointment. Then there's those magical people who sa it's the best thing. I haven't really had much luck with dating sites. Yet other men claim they get so many matches. Real world meet ups way better.

[AydenHazor]

Nothing you said sounds like it's a cause. Intelligence, especially, will be a positive trait for the right guy. If they're put off by your intelligence and/or just looking for sex, you're better off without them

[Anonymous]

So much horrible advice lol.
My advice: Stop accepting thoughts you dont want. You don't have to accept anything you dont want. Idc how logical it may seem; you dont have to accept it.

[RavVid]

I think the men in their 30's are going for girls in their 20's.

[noohair]

Society has glorified youth. Sorry. Maybe try meeting people in person and get off social media. Social media is distorted and shallow.

[gorydetails]

How about meeting people in the real world instead of dating apps?

[Anonymous]

It's the type of men you're choosing. Choose a better quality of men. Or don't. Makes no difference to us.

[Tomisworthless]

You’re too old and washed up like me, welcome to the loser life

[PainusNdeeAnus]

Majority of men prefer women in the 18 to 25 age range

[ejdeps]

Now men are young and want night time sex. But there is still love. there is no sex without love

[es20490446e]

Meet in real life.

[boggboss]

Approach guys