Guys, my boyfriend cheated on me twice with one girl, and ALMOST a third time with a different one. he says its bc of a lie I told, he felt he couldn't trust me then he lost hope and started giving into temptation. He was in contact with the first girl for months before they had sex, they were classmates and he ghosted her afterwards. i'm wondering... will he cheat again?
Cheating is never okay, but perhaps it might be forgiven if he wasn't seeking it but an attractive girl came onto him in a moment of weakness, and if he immediately admitted it to you and was ashamed and regretful.
But it sounds like your boyfriend planned his cheating in advance, did it multiple times, and wasn't honest with you about it. This tells you that his only morals and "whatever I want at the time." So, yes, he is a cheater, and he will cheat again, because he feels entitled to cheat.
I'm sure he's physically attractive and popular, because if he wasn't, you'd have dumped him immediately, but all you've done by staying with him is validated his idea that he can get away with cheating because he's attractive, and is thus entitled to cheat.
This is what happens when you choose a relationship partner based on his attractiveness and popularity rather than his morals, values, and life goals. Moral men may seem boring, but they are FAR more likely to be faithful and dependable.
You can date whoever you like, but your choices will have consequences, and your outcomes are YOUR responsibility and no one else's.
That wasn't an attack, it was just a reality check. The same is true of everyone: your own choices have a huge impact on your outcomes, and when people make poor choices, they almost always have poor outcomes. Yes, anyone can make a mistake or be fooled once, maybe even twice, but a lot of people (and this isn't directed at the asker - I have no idea about her specifically) make the same mistake again and again, and can't figure out why their outcomes are always bad.
My posts are designed to get people to think and consider their choices. I'd prefer that everyone has the best possible outcome - I don't want anyone to experience unnecessary pain - but it's not up to me. Each person is responsible for their own choices, and their own outcomes.
The thing is you are best to move on , cuz he more than likely will do it again , Most cheaters make excuses for their actions. by blaming someone else instead of pointing fingers at themselves , Just because you told him a lie, doesn’t give him a right to go screw someone else, If your lie hurt him that bad Then he should of ended it with you instead of screwing someone else and blaming you for it. Cheating is a selfish act in which the cheater only thinks , what is best for them , they don’t consider the person they are in a relationship with , they cheat because they feel no wrong in their actions
He will do it again, the first guy that ever cheated on me did so because I had more sexual partners than him. He at first said it was okay and it would be fine but then later on had issues with it and was trying to balance out to match me.
He seriously thought, once he got up to my number he would quit and things would be fine.
I have no doubt he would of continued doing so even if he matched me. By that time if I had not found out, he would of thought she'll never find out so I can keep on doing it.
@aerissa_jade Not to excuse his behavior, but I'm just curious: Was their anything about his sex that you thought was lacking?
@Jamie05rhs No, he seemed decent... number of partners doesn't always make someone better. Guys that do hook ups and rush to be done as fast as they can, don't really learn any new tricks to be better at it.
It is a bit harder for women to rush and do the same.
@Aerissa_Jade Oh, okay. I was just thinking he might have felt pressure to improve to be better.
If you weren’t aware I don’t blame you because you didn’t know but you are aware your boyfriend is a mother fucker !
Fool me once shame on YOU Fool me twice shame on ME~ George Bush
Why do you think US is always a world leader you can’t fool them twice lol.. be a Bush don’t be a democrat don’t be so liberal with your boyfriends.
Opinion
47Opinion
u If a PERSON cheats once, they are more likely to repeat ther reprehensible behavior.
If a man cheats on a woman, he most likely will do it again. With that woman. He might not cheat on the next woman that he dates that he likes/respects a lot more, but he has already proven he is capable of crossing that line.
Although sometimes there or more understandable reasons for cheating. You say he said you lied. Well, what did you lie about? Was it something that deeply hurt him?
I'd say the damage has already been done, and it's unlikely this relationship will heal from all of this. No one should cheat, and I'm not excusing what he did, it is wrong, but it sounds like you hurt him and he mentally moved past you.
I was hanging out with my coworkers and one of the dudes came onto me and asked to have sex with me. I told my boyfriend but I lied about who was there meaning... I told him it was all of us in the room when he came onto me but it was really just me and him when he wanted to make a move I didn't do anything with him though I immediately left when he came onto me but my boyfriend was convinced that since I lied about who was there that I did something. I was scared of his reaction which isn't an excuse at all. that's why I want to stay because I feel like its my fault but is it really?
I mean, I don't know if all that calls for cheating, but I do think it is suspicious. I doubt this man would have just come out and asked for sex if you weren't flirting and returning some affection.
Guys in the office, don't just come up to women and ask, hey you want to fuck? That's how you get fired and sued. But you were in a private room with this man, and he felt comfortable enough to suggest sex, most likely knowing you have a boyfriend. Then you lied about it to him, instead of telling the truth. If you didn't do anything wrong, why did you lie? Because you did.
I'm sorry, but I'm on the boyfriend's side. I've been with enough women and heard enough of them talk to know you are leaving out a lot of key details. That way you can claim that you didn't lie. Men aren't stupid, we know when you are full of shit. We just usually let it slide if we care enough about the woman. He has gotten to the point where he no longer cares if you know he fucked another woman, so I would say it's a wrap.
Maybe you didn't do anything, but it sure seems like you did. And the fact is that you put yourself in that position. I would be madder at the guy. But the fact that it even got to that point, suggests there was more going on than you are admitting to. If you are going to sit here and say that this man tried to fuck you randomly, without you hinting that was possible, well I just don't really believe that. You are playing the victim, and trying to get sympathy. Grow up.
I do understand your perspective and id never want to make any excuse for my lie because regardless it's a lie but are you saying just because it seems like I did something is it reasonable for him to cheat? I know I should've left the moment it was just me and him in the room alone based on the fact that I had a boyfriend he did compliment me and I was saying thank you but the moment he tried to initiate sex I left. I know I was wrong regardless and I was scared of his reaction which is still wrong regardless. I guess im just trying to understand if its my fault.
I didn't say it was ok for him to cheat. He should have just dumped you if he felt that strongly about it. He is just using that as an excuse to get away with fucking other women. And you are putting up with it because you feel bad, or like him too much.
This means you are either a pushover, or you feel bad about the things you did that you aren't talking about.
If he is saying he did this, because of that. Well then say it's even and move forward. But I doubt that will happen. He will probably just continue to cheat whenever you fuck up.
Yes, generally past behavior is the best indication for what he does in the future.
An exception could apply if he cheated once with his ex while already in a new relationship with you. It is possible that the new attachment had not yet formed to replace the previous one. A man can then still get over his ex eventually.
Your guy cheated three times with two different women. I would be surprised if he did not cheat again. Maybe with a different partner he could manage if she really makes it clear that she will not accept it. Even that is highly doubtful.
I don't buy into "once a cheater, always a cheater", but I also don't think it's wise to be that person who expects the cheater to change his/her ways. If they're gonna stop being cheaters, that's probably gonna take a great deal of time and self-reflection and bumps on the road. Why be the bump on the road?
I agree "once a cheater, always a cheater" is bullshit.
I u. p.
I used to be a cheater, now I'm not. Couldn't do it again if I wanted to, and I've wanted to many times
@WanderingLoveWizard Cheers and congrats for it! My whole outlook in life is that we can change our worst ways, however remote the odds. My think wasn't cheating but I was a drug addict. Still possibly an alcoholic (quit everything else) but I like to hold out hope that I can change and everyone else too. But at same time I don't think it's fair to expect our lovers to take the time and patience for us to change our ways. It is not fair to them to hold out for us. We have to fix this shit on our own.
Absolutely! I agree.
Good for you getting off the drugs, that's way harder than not cheating lol
@WanderingLoveWizard Seems harder to me to avoid cheating! Because women are so beautiful and they form such beautiful expressions and lines with their bodies. I think every time I was high out of my mind, what I really wanted was a woman. Like not just tits and ass, you know. I wanted to know who she was and I wanted her to love me and hold her in my arms. There's no drug I ever found more powerful than a beautiful woman and soul
That's beautiful 😢
@WanderingLoveWizard On flip side I think most women are disappointing! I'm married with my wife now and she's not. But women can be very disappointing. I understood sex addiction a bit in my party days but there's a loneliness and disappointment there. Sometimes women don't smell that good as a starter.
I conceived in my youth of women as these super-sanitary creatures, so clean and nice, and not with funky vagina smells. Some of them get really funky down there -- even the most beautiful ones. Actually in my limited experience, sometimes the funkiest down there can be possessed by the most beautiful, and not the other way around like we'd expect.
😂😂😂 Oh I know, it's a big hole leading to the inside of their body. That shit can get pretty rank if their hygiene is subpar
Its a opportunistic crime... if the "stars " align in such favorable circumstances.. yes. .. women just as guilty cause they can't not stand not getting even... n its usually the next guy.. aka rebound who unwitting takes that hit... i dont know why woman are essentially snow blind to cheaters... n get all dumb founded.. cheating.. that happistance.. woman are at fault.. its you ego that picked that guy... its your desire to have that knotch on your belt.. audatious not preconsidering... he's adding a knotch.. himself.
Im most cases fuck for sure red flags awaving vanity insanity kicks in... fuck it go with it.. right.. whose at fault... for what? fucking? lol
Woman are as superficial and shallow.. like us... solutions are simple.. clear.. but we wanna wanna what wanna.. we get... whah😭
People that cheat, are likely to cheat again because of their reasons for cheating. A lack of morals and self respect, is often the reasoning, and unless those change, its almost guaranteed that if the right circumstances arise, they will cheat again.
Remember this always, THERE ARE ONLY TWO NUMBERS IN THE WORLD, one and none. If you have done it once , the rest is just too easy. Only the first murder is hard to do, after that I am told you don't even bother about it. I would advise you to fuck this guy, there are many better guys out there.
LOL... He's full of shit. He's using your one-time time lie to justify his fucking other women. If he doesn't trust you and he's "lost hope" (of what, by the way?), then why didn't he break up with you? At this point, why haven't you broken up with him?
he lost hope in trusting me because... I was hanging out with my coworkers and one of the dudes came onto me and asked to have sex with me. I told my boyfriend but I lied about who was there meaning... I told him it was all of us in the room when he came onto me but it was really just me and him when he wanted to make a move I didn't do anything with him though I immediately left when he came onto me but my boyfriend was convinced that since I lied about who was there that I did something. I was scared of his reaction which isn't an excuse at all. that's why I want to stay because I feel like its my fault but is it really?
None of what you said justifies his behavior.
He has bad morals. People generally don't change their morals. They may lie about it, or even convince themselves they changed, but almost everyone reverts back to their regular morals/actions eventually.
I'd say leave and never date a cheater.
I cheated once when I was 22, then had another chance to do it again but couldn't follow through. I've never cheated since and I never will again.
I think it widely depends on how old he is too. Guys are in their early 20s are more likely to cheat, but when you get past 25 your brain is more developed and you're more mature.
So a guy in his early 20s might not ever cheat again later in life. Or he might... who knows
Who cares. Don't stick around and find out. You should never stick around with a cheater and if you find out someone has cheated ever then you should stay clear of them.
They won't respect you if you take them back anyway. They'll behave for a while but they'll know they can pull stuff on you... you took them back before so why shouldn't they try again. They'll think you are weak and a push over.
He can't trust you cause he can't be trusted.
Generally it's more likely for a cheater to cheat again than for someone to cheat for the first time. But just cause someone cheated one time doesn't mean they'll cheat again.
However staying with a man that cheated on you twice already would be insane. High time to leave that turd behind. If i was with such a person, is leave them no matter if they'll never cheat on me again.
Fool me once Fool me twice
If he cheats on you once and you go back to him, it's forgiveness.
If you cheats on you twice and you go back to him that's stupidity. He sees you a doormat and he's realises that no matter how much he fucks up, you will always take him back. In other words, he's taking you for a fool. Leave him, he has no respect for you.
He cheats** on you
No more than a girl. The fact is that they can "rationalize" cheating in their own minds, which means they have the ability to do so again. A person that hasn't cheated is less likely to do it because they've never rationalized why it was okay for them to do it.
Yes ,1000% chance we will cheat again and again. He uses and screws women over. How does a man like that even get a woman or a relationship? How? What's so special about him? Is it the "bad boy"part? Please so yourself a favor and get this foolish man our if your life
There is a pretty good probability he will, because even if you chewed his ass-out for it, all he got was a good talking to.
All the time he is thinking, that wasn't so bad, and I still have a constant sex partner out of the deal.
Once he starts blaming you for his actions... it's time to move on... even if he says he loves you, he really doesn't or he wouldn't want to ever hurt you.
So you want to be put at risk of STDs?
Thats not even a relationship anymore cause he strayed away 🤡
Leave and Forget this demonic being.
Thats what you need to do. Have some self respect.
Why is it if a MAN cheats once will he do it again? Really sexist if you ask me. Women cheat just as much as men.
Anyway- if a person cheats the probability is much greater that they will do it again.
m Does it matter? Only an idiot would give him the opportunity.
Cheating accurs when something is going wrong in the relationship. It's seems like men cheat for sex but I think the truth is that either men or women cheat because they are not happy with that person.
@HoneyButterCup525 Men are only as faithful as their options. This story just proves this.
@Vegasrunner I suppose you are right but again it comes down to weather being truly happy with that person or not.
@HoneyButterCup525 Unfortunately the issue is that women typically chase the same archetype of man so if that man makes you feel happy it stands to reason he makes other women happy and majority of men are going to act on those options. Women need to understand what it takes to actually keep a man of value.
@Vegasrunner there's nothing valuable about a man cheating or cheating at all. And I do assume that anyone who has options and already in a relationship, weather it's a man or woman, they aren't happy people when they are cheating.
@HoneyButterCup525 That's just something females say to cope because most women struggle to understand relationships from a male POV. By definition a man that can attract other women has value. You would be wrong about your assumptions there are a lit of men who stay on bad relationships because they know they can't get anyone e better. Also happiness is another intangible female metric, as the ability to attract multiple women is something that would make the overwhelming majority of men "happy"
@Vegasrunner those men are losers and insecure. and it's not just men who cheat it's also women too, and there's nothing special about attracting a bunch of people. men and women who like to attract multiple people are low lives and just frustrated with themselves and they can't focus on there personal life properly.
personally, cheating doesn't bother me but what does me if he wasn't loyal and a back stabber.
@HoneyButterCup525 I don't know about "losers" typically men that have to stay w/ only one woman simply have a scarcity mindset. Many are successful professionals, however it takes a lot more for a man to be attractive to a woman. You're correct about one thing there's nothing special about a woman getting sex because any woman can get sex from men. Few men can attract a multiple women which is why society places a higher value on us. It's also why most women will be okay w/ a man cheating as long as his value is high enough. Kobe Bryant cheated on his wife and caught a charge in the process and is a legend. Jay Z cheated on Beyonce and she stayed w/ him. (It's unfortunate I have to say this but these are just two examples). I understand why you feel the way you do however reality doesn't line up w/ that belief. To assume that a man that has multiple women is "frustrated" is a ridiculous belief considering that's one if the metrics that we use to judge male success. You're struggling w/ understanding that male and female metrics for relationships are completely different. For instance loyalty is shown differently from men and women. A man shows his loyalty by risking his life for u, your job in turn is to show your loyalty to him not cheating. Problem is a lot of women want it one way, and are shocked when they actually run into a hv man, only to find out what I just told you. Lot of women spend their time doing what u just did, and use negative emotional words to try to cope w/ reality. You can do that if you want but it seems as if it only hurts you to think like that.
@Vegasrunner were did you get the time to write all of that crap?
@HoneyButterCup525 You misspelled the word accurate information.
@Vegasrunner who cares.
Cheating is cheating either you stay in the relationship or you don't, but to justify cheating and being in a relationship doesn't work for most people and it doesn't make a persons life make any sense.
@HoneyButterCup525 Apparently you since you too the time to comment.
@HoneyButterCup525 Unfortunately that is a belief that keeps a lot of women single. You as a woman can't cheat be abuse society doesn't reward people who do things that are easy. A man w/ the ability to cheat is typical loved by society because men have to have created value in order to have the ability to cheat. Hence the reason you have no response to the Kobe Bryant and Jay Z analogy.
quite likely.
Maybe see a counselor- together?
That old chestnut. "It's because of you..."
If you have any self respect, you'll move on from this guy.
First off, what lie does he think you told him? Second, if it bothered him, he should’ve said so. Honestly, I think he just wanted to use that as an excuse. And third, yes. The many times he cheated already, he’ll do it again.
Ok so the first time a guy gets caught is NOT the first time he cheated. So yes to your question.
Also, get rid of this boyfirend. Stay single and establish or re establish your self worth. Having a man isn't everything.
Yes of course. Once a cheater, always a cheater that saying is true.
A Leopard Never Changes Its Spots.
What makes it even worst is what u asked is not even how bad your situation is
Yes and No. In this case, it’s more like “will he cheat a third time?” And the answer is undoubtedly Yes, in this case, he will definitely cheat again.
It's very likely, depending on the circumstances the first time.
What was the lie you told? Both sexes will do revenge cheats to get even.
Why are you still with him?
I don’t get why girls even give guys second chances for cheating.
Like fr once one, always one
he's my first everything first boyfriend first body first love so its difficult to accept the reality im in. he's not who I thought he was... im not a fool I know that I should prob let go but im trying to figure out what to do with the version of me that's hopeful and that keeps believing him when he says he will never do that to me again. he's doing everything I ask and going out his way everyday even when I throw attitudes he's so patient but nobody knows if he will cheat again and I've never been cheated on until now so im trying to cope but its very difficult honestly
You’re overthinking it. Guys will string you along and pretend to change but honestly just move on without him
Yes. I have no qualms about sleeping with other people.
yes but not just "a man" but instead any person as in human being, gender does not matter.
Yeah he probably will. He's gotten away with it twice and nearly a third time and maybe gets a thrill out of it
If he’s still your boyfriend, then you’re allowing him to do it again and again to you.
Not necessarily, but someone who uses excuses like he did is probably more likely to do so.
Stats say yes. Behavioral science says yes. So…yeah.
In your case this guy is most likely to cheat on you once again.
All of u got cheated on at some Point ya just didn't know about it
You’re a doormat and he will keep treating you as such because well, you let him. Boo hoo.
@anonymous That's because she doesn't have any leverage over him.
I'm gonna say he's not honest and will probably do it again.
Not all guys are like this.. but I found ALL girls will cheat if given the opportunity...
uh yeah he'll cheat again don't expect him not to don't hold your breath on him not cheating
If a girl cheats she will also do it again!
You know the sayings…
He will cheat again.
Anyone who cheats will do it again.
9/10 a cheater will do it again
Yes, he is addicted to it.
Not again... he wil do again and again...🤣🤫
Yep, once a cheaters always a cheater.
Yes. Leave him
Yes. That's a sign of very poor character.
Most likely. Best to move on regards of gender
Huge chances he would.
history always repeats itself
No, just once.
A man or a woman.
Time to walk away
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