Once a cheat always a cheat?

[Jadeseymour]

My boyfriend takes such good pride in cheating on every ex he had, him and his dad are very similar in that department I court him on a couple times texting other woman and I pushed it to on side for the simple fact he would be homeless if I sent him away he has a son and doesn't see him (his ex will not let him he has tried to see him) I really do love him and I would miss him a lot he has told me he's done and has give me no reason to believe other wise

Once a cheat always a cheat

Give him a break

Talk to him ( please tell me how to talk to him about this)

[ShiftingMonke]

I think the concensus is pretty clear thus far- most all who commented are sure he either will cheat or is actively doing so. I voted yes, and I can offer some points (and counter points) to help.

• you love him. While loving someone isn't inherently wrong, unrequited love is dangerous. You can only help someone for so long before they start taking from your own store of happiness. When that happens, you become a slave to your own passion and you cannot find happiness in that. Express this to him, that you are trying to trust him, and he needs to go above and beyond to show he is redeemable.

counterpoint: your love for yourself comes first. He was caught texting other women and you disregarded that. Coupled with his pride in cheating, it's not hard math to see what comes next. You just don't want to admit it, because you've invested too much or your own pride is in the way. And to say "he's given you no reason to believe otherwise"? That's some Olympic level mental gymnastics right there.

• without you he is homeless. express in no uncertain terms that he's not in a position to abuse your trust, and while you're not trying to take control of his life or dictate every action, his abuse of your trust and your heart will force your hand to choose between him and hope for a happier life, and you don't want him to make you make that choice.

counterpoint: he is a grown ass man and is capable of finding employment and earning enough money to fund his own place to live. It is 2023 and this economy is not beholden to princesses; I can't fathom what he actually brings to the table to offset what you see in him. If he was with your sister, or your mother instead, would you want them to cater to him the way you do? No reasonable person would expect you to tolerate this level of disrespect, so I'm really unsure why you do.

• rekindle the relationship with his son. if he were to clean up his act and become a respectable man, he may eventually earn the opportunity to see his son again. Your relationship with him can help him achieve his goal, as you have continously advocated for him despite all he's done. Under your guidance he can improve.

counterpoint: by all accounts, this man has no business anywhere near children, least of all his own. He cannot teach his child responsibility, self control, work ethic, or humbleness- all basic things a father should pass on to his son. And if he truly wishes to see his son, he would find a way to make it happen. There would be no hurdle too high for him to cross because no greater title can be bestowed upon a man other than father, and he seems to have shirked that some time ago.

I do hope things work out for you, and that you get what your heart desires.

Counter: I hope you leave him. I've never met you, didn't know you existed 6 minutes ago, but no self respecting woman deserves this. Stay with him, and you embrace the demise of your mental health.

[earthcitizen7]

False. There are MANY reasons why a person would "cheat". And cheating for one person, is not cheating to another. There are millions of definitions of cheating. However, the more someone does something, the more likely they are to continue.

AND, you "catching" him texting another women shows you have a problem... you do not trust him, or maybe, anyone. If you don't trust him, you either need to change your thinking, or get out of the relationship. I have been in LTRs for 32 years. I have NEVER looked at my partner's phone, or tried to find out if they were cheating.

God created Our Universe with Love and Free Will. Use your Free Will to Love!

[Screenwriter]

I'm disturbed in two cases. He brags about cheating on all the former women he was with. Isn't this information he's giving you? I've cheated on all of them, don't expect anything less from me.

There's a reason why this guy is homeless. Who wants to live with someone who takes pride in being some kind of player while they're with you? He's abusive and for some reason thinks this is "manly."

Why are you in love with someone so abusive? Do you not have self-esteem?

People usually cheat for a reason. They can't commit. They always see greener grass over the next hill. Either way, this is hurtful to someone who can commit.

Wrest yourself away from this guy. He's told you who he is. A cheater. You've had evidence of it already. Why are you suffering with this guy who appears, in general, to be some kind of loser.

[Anonymous]

Hahhahaah. You for real? Kick him out, I’m sure he has another girl lined up he could stay with and if not good. He can sleep in the street gutters where he belong. Seriously, are you really this I’m not gonna say dumb… But yeah ok, naive? Blind? Desperate? He is PROUD of the fact he’s cheated on ALL his exes and you already know he’s talking to other women (which is also cheating because I promise you he’s not talking to them to make friends). Don’t do yourself dirty like this. Kick him out today and never look back.

[OfMiceandMen]

That sucks that you've fallen for him. All I can say is be prepared. It is just second nature for some guys to have someone on the side or be looking, bc they don't want to be on their own. Kind of like a leech where they have to be attached to someone to be happy. They anticipate the person finding out they are screwing around on them, and they know they have a window of opportunity to latch onto someone else.

Very few guys ever change from that, if they get into that rut.

[NewYorkCity]

Ones guys felt the rush and flesh of different girls, there is no turning back. He might stop for couple months, heck even couple years if he just got a child, but eventually he Will go back to his old habit, especially when his wife's (V) won't be tight anymore after giving birth. Besides, the urge to have sex with different tight girls would overpower whatever you might offer him.

[Paul09]

You are in love with a illusion. Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you think you can change him? Once a cheater always a cheater 100%. These people do not deserve anyone. Blows my mind how people are so desperate to have someone, even if they cheat or just are not good people. Only you will he hurt. There's plenty of real men out there that would never chat and treat you with respect.

[DestinyElizabeth04]

Given the fact that he takes pride in it, he will do it again. Only people who have cheated and felt remorse or guilt are the ones who actively try to make up for it. He will cheat again.

[Flower7]

I can almost guarantee you that he’s cheating on you.

[Anonymous]

I caught my ex cheating with another woman. I pulled out my duck and jerked off and ejaculated on them both. They weren't happy about it.

[QuietRunner]

enjoy the cheater, have fun, and learn something from him

he will leave you