“once a cheater, always a cheater.”?

Question

this goes both ways for men and women and I need your opinion about this. Do you know anyone (personally) that cheated and was given a second chance by their partners and stayed true to their words and stopped cheating? Or is the saying true that “once a cheater, always a cheater” is it hard to be faithful again after going down that road? Because for me there are two things that are unforgivable in a relationship, that is cheating and any form of abuse (domestic, mental, physical and emotional)

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It’s hard to say for sure if it could or could not work , I guess it depends on why the cheating occurred in the first place , I know all cheating is wrong and it’s a selfish decision period, But I have seen couples that got back together after cheating occurred and they are better than they were before , it’s something I myself can’t do , if a girl cheats on me it’s over period, it was nice knowing you but I deserve someone better is how I look at it , A person that cheats already proved to themselves that they don’t love and value their partner, so why try to go back to their partner knowing they were a piece of shit? They already answered their own question that they don’t love and value their partner because if they did , they wouldn’t be cheating period. I had affairs with a few married women that I didn’t know were married until after the fact , some of them went back to their husbands like nothing happened and the one that got busted by her husband , he ended up taking her back , which shocked the shit out of me. My ex wife cheated on me and she tried getting me back and I can’t do it , I realize I deserve someone that loves me like I love them , If I cheat on a girl that’s my answer that I don’t love and value her anymore , so I end it with her right then and there , I am not going to waste my time pretending that I actually love and value someone when I know inside that I don’t , it’s a waste of time , if someone can’t stay loyal and faithful to you then their is no reason to be in a relationship with that person period , it’s a convenience is how I look at it and a selfish decision to string someone along that you truly don’t love and value, the cheater is wasting their own time and their partners , so when I see this saying once a cheater always a cheater, the answer is yes because even though they might not physically be cheating on their partner again, they are cheating on themselves by staying with someone they truly don’t love and value , and probably living in a fear that their partner might cheat on them for revenge , Why it’s best to move on and find someone else and start over , I am not perfect , I have cheated before in the past but I didn't go back to her after I did , I ended it because I answered my own question that I don’t love and value her so I am not going to be selfish and waste her time. You can love someone without being in a relationship with them , I notice more girls are accepting of taking a man back that cheated on her over a guy taking back a girl that cheated on him , The girl I cheated on wanted to take me back and I was shocked by that but I was honest with her and told her she deserves better , and she still threw herself at me. Just goes to show how different girls are from guys lol

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Cheaters in general are going to cheat. It's like what they do. You can't expect them to just come to their senses and just stop.

At best you'll be able to get them to stop cheating by eliminating their "other" options in some way, like being the source of food for instance.

I know for me I wouldn't want to be dedicated to a chick that I know is just constantly hankering for some strange and will go for it as soon as I'm not needed for her survival.

If you're in the dating phase... listen to them talk. They will tell on themselves every time almost all of the time. Get them to talk, and you'll get their personalized history lesson. If they just cheat for emotional issues... well... then you know what to expect when they're having a bad week at work.

petitedollbabee · Accepted Answer

I’ve cheated once and never have again. So I suppose it depends on their reasoning for cheating. I cheated because I was trapped in an abusive relationship with a man who wouldn’t let me leave him, so I cheated to get him to break up with me, which worked well. I didn’t cheat because I actually wanted to be with someone else. And looking back on that situation, I could have just told him I’d cheated without actually doing so, but I wasn’t thinking rationally at the time, I was just desperate to get away from that relationship.

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

The thing about cheating, there will always be doubt. They will naturally never be trusted again.

wallyworld12 · Answer

People want experience and to know themselves fully. Love is dangerous in the fact that all is fair in love and war. People have different qualities, personalities, habits. In those bonds they discover themselves and help fill a void. To be with different people you find experience and what it is you want. Because to fully gain something you have to be willing to loose it. People come in all different flavors. To gain understanding in what one wants one must explore... And all that is bullshit. Don't cheat fuckers 😂

Blackcupcake · Answer

no, I don't know anyone personally, and I do believe that a person can learn from their mistakes and not cheat again. however, I would not stay in a relationship with a man who cheated on me. another girl can have his improved non cheating version of him, because once that trust is broken, it will never go back to 100% again and I simply can't be in a relationship with someone I don't fully trust.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely. I made the mistake of trusting my ex. She had told me she was in an abusive toxic relationship with her controling ex and ended up cheating on him. A few years later and I'm the abusive controlling ex as it turned out she was cheating on me for a year behind my back an only admitted it when she caught an std, even was taking our 3 year old cheating to his house. When I dumped her she tried everything to get revenge despite her doing all of that and to get maximum child custody including false rape allegations, domestic abuse allegations, stalking allegations, harassment allegations the works but i had been recording her secretly since the break up and it was enough for the cops to not prosecute though social services took her word and still treat her like the victim even though she had been beating our kid, of course she had been coached by women's aid.

BJP21 · Answer

Mental, Emotional, and Physical Abuse are way worse than cheating. in my opinion and my experience. But here's the thing, how well at you at forgiveness? Just simply sweep this thing under the carpet? A whole level in insecurity will manifest itself even if you give a second chance. Can you trust them texting anyone on the phone if left alone? It solely depends on the person.

Chaser3232 · Answer

I did, I cheated emotionally, I felt neglected and I strayed! I got from her, what my wife didn’t give any more! However, I never told deep dark secrets, nor spoke evil of my wife. I just felt I was being taken advantage of! It was never about sex, companionship! My wife and I talked and came to an understanding! I never again strayed, and I stay by her side until she passed, last year! But, I’m just one!

clampfan101 · Answer

People can change, but things like that tend to take a long time. It takes especially long with no motivation, and what better way to kill motivation than loosing someone because you screwed up? (That’s no justification, of course. Just terribly unfortunate for people who would want to change.)

Emiliamazing · Answer

We have both known individuals who are cheated on, and two of them were given a second chance. Only one of them took that chance and has remained faithful. The other did not accept the offer of a second chance and they divorced.

Tina19 · Answer

That's mostly true and yes i have seen people getting second third n numerous chance but they still end up cheating again it's just a matter of change as soon as they get the opportunity they do it again

Andres77 · Answer

Every person is different. It depends on why they cheated in the first place. Cheating once does make it easier to cheat again but it’s no guarantee that it will. I’ve seen both sides of this and I’ve been cheated on before. There’s no easy answer. There’s vulnerability, risk and work.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Cannot generalize such things. Subjective to the person.

Anonymous · Answer

i got cheated on and emotionally abused by her and i still forgave her

AviatorTom · Answer

Anything is possible in a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

That is usually true.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Not entirely true

Alex8736 · Answer

History always repeats itself

TotallyAlmost · Answer

I think it's pretty hard wired into people.

Debbie14217 · Answer

yes i think so

Fuentes · Answer

Yes cheater are cheaters just like theifs

“once a cheater, always a cheater.”?

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