You gotta tell this dude straight up, “It’s been six months…. Will it be another six months? It don’t take six months to leave your ass. There’s apps you can use; you don’t have to go anywhere! Look, I just can’t be satisfied dating a bum who quits.”
For real you got to get right to the point, and say what needs to be said, be blunt and honest and very truthful. I recommend seeing him just to say that and leaving and if you can’t handle that do it on the phone but expect not to see him for a little bit. If you say something like this, and if he’s a real one, he’ll come back, he’s the one who got a job.
Since high school has been working for 12 years straight, definitely been in and out of jobs but for no longer than two months, and that’s long as hell for me to be jobless. I just couldn’t survive because I have to pay rent and stuff but six months is way too long but maybe this dude doesn’t have real expenses like rent, insurance (s), income tax, etc.
If you have money saved, you can go without a job for a couple months but I would recommend to have a mindset of getting a job that first month. Why can’t you yeah maybe take a week or two off but you can still use your phone and apply to multiple jobs a day. For real there’s no excuse when I didn’t have a job and I was done with not having a job. I made it my job to get a job. He needs to make it his job to get a job. Think about it the more hours he puts in looking for something, the more options and better chance of a better job never apply for one job at a time or period. Even when you get a job, keep applying for other jobs, you never know.
Encourage him to offer his services to others as a self employed person.
It is an unfortunate reality that not everyone can 'get a job' so you should stop asking for someone else's permission to join the work force and instead try to make your own way.
Or you should find out where geographically or in which fields workers are in demand and try to make progress in that way.
If nothing else it would be helpful to get into a routine and be active, try to keep a clean body and house and get outside every day if only for a walk.
Make whatever improvements can be made to yourself and your life, you have to keep moving forwards in whatever way you can.
Learn a langauge, learn to play an instrument, educate yourself in some way.
Personally I would give him an ultimatum... Either you find a job within the next three months or I'm off... Cheerio, Goodbye, Sayonara etc.
Sometimes all it takes is a Short, Sharp, Shock to motivate someone.
In a way ask him why he doesn't want to find a job or find the reason for which they don't. Once done, talk to him or help him find one.
Opinion
10Opinion
Does he have income coming in? Look this is the least of your worries. What you should do is sit down and write out a joint, definite vision with one another. That vision is a blueprint of your relationship. It keeps you two on the same page about important things. Right now you two have 2 unconscious visions that are battling each other through the 2 of you. Him choosing not to have a job and you not liking it is just a symptom of a lack of clear vision. "Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." (proverbs)
There's 11 million available positions in the US. Every walmart, lowes, home depot, grocery store and gas station is hiring. The signs are everywhere. If he can't put applications, he doesn't want one. Tell him to get off his ass or leave him for a real man.
Has he been actively trying to find a job? There’s not much you can do if he’s not looking to work other than threaten to leave him. I hate when women give ultimatums but aside from that not a whole lot you can do to make him get a job. Even if you do he’s going to resent you for it.
I was actually unemployed for 18 months. It was really hard to find a new job. I sm not sure what he does for a living but it is easy to find a low paying retail job but something that pays well and does not involve doing something dangerous is hard.
He sounds depressed and angry. But it's not your job to fix his life. Are you supporting him? Are his parents?
In my opinion, I think that depends on Him...
Is he trying, or just letting it happen?
If He has no interest or effort, I'd say that's a scary Relationship.
Is he trying? Is he going to school? Or is he sitting around eating cheese puffs and watching General Hospital?
Is he looking or just smoking dope and playing on the computer? Looking for work is a full time job.
Got any connections? Shit I can find anyone a job and many people know someone like that
Tell him to get self-employment or just leave, which ever floats your boat
Encourage him to apply to jobs
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