A real connection or bullshit?

[Rainofsac]

My co worker adores me and I like him. He drove me home recently, and as we walked to the car I put my arm in his and he walked me with a small. At the end of the ride I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He said that his heart fluttered. The next day, I come into work and apologize if it made him uncomfortable because I don’t know if he’s a single man, but I assumed because he flirts with me so much. I told him that if I were his age or he were my age, he’d be mine. He’s reiterated that once to me as well. So he told me he’s been living with a woman he met online 8 years ago and doesn’t love her. She’s an ex drug addict and it seems that she mooches off him. He said he’s looking for another reason to leave, but he’d have to be a big reason. He brought up the age difference and that if we were to be together he’d feel bad that he’d die earlier than me. But he said if things were different for him, in the car, instead of getting bashful, he said he would’ve cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. He said that a kiss from my lips would be paradise. To feel me near him. He said he doesn’t want to lose me and ever since we met he wants me around and feels like he needs me. He said if we were to be in a serious relationship, he would spend everyday making love to every inch of my body. He said this while taking my face into his hands and holding me close. He wanted to give me a ride after work, but I said I shouldn’t and I need to respect the situations he has with the woman he’s living with. He said he doesn’t love her, they haven’t been intimate in 8 years and he keeps her around because she ended up getting cancer. At the end of the day, he said he noticed I was sad and wasn’t looking at him. He asked me if I wanted to text him during the weekend. I said no. I really like him and feel we have some sort of strong connection. Is he being honest about himself and his situation? I feel like I want to be with him. Is that a stupid fantasy?

[SueShe]

I believe that it is only infatuation because this guy tells you what you want to hear and that he gives you the feeling of security that you are seeking.

Now, he needs a serious relationship to sever the relationship with a person he stays with out of pity most probably. There is more to love than just fornication. Not copulating for 8 years does not mean that he does not love her in a different way than being physical.

Then, there is the age difference which, today, does not seem to be an issue but may well be later in life.

I think that he is buttering you up and you have to be cautious. People seldom show their true personality in a work environment.

Make a wise choice not based on how you feel on the moment but take into consideration all the pros and cons, including possibly wrecking a home. Good luck.

[Rainofsac]

Thank you for your response. Yes, I can understand that. He said he never loved her, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still see them as a unit. Any woman living in a man’s house, whether he enables her or not is not a good thing. I told him I don’t see how I’d fit into his life. I don’t understand how he acts like I have a decision to make. All these problems are his own. It’s his relationship with her.

[Rainofsac]

I feel like that’s a little too reaching. Im not looking for someone to make me feel secure. I don’t need anyone to make me feel secure or beautiful. I find those things in myself already. I feel like I have a deep connection with him. Romantically. Like I said before, I haulted all interactions being friendly with him because I want to respect his situation even if I don’t like it. I would never be a homewrecker. That isn’t me or what I stand for. He said he never loved her, so I have to believe that. But what isn’t okay is him living with a woman he doesn’t care about or love. He lives with her out of Pity. Still… his choice to make I guess..

[Anonymous]

This situation is far too complicated. I would just let it go at this point.

[Iron_Man]

Don’t get involved with guys that have live in girlfriends or girlfriends or has a wife

[Rainofsac]

Thank you for your response. It’s unlikely he would leave even though he’s uncomfortable with their arrangement?

[Iron_Man]

Huge red flag those never work out big drama and she could come after you never know

[Rainofsac]

Thank you! So disappointing. I feel heartbroken. I really cared for him and thought he was really interested. But yes, that seems too messy. Why would a man stay with a woman in a loveless and sexless relationship?

[Iron_Man]

Weird guy or maybe desperate thinking he’ll never find anybody else

[Rainofsac]

Hmmm…

[Anonymous]

Wow im honestly not sure

[Rainofsac]

I think he really likes me, I can understand having made a difficult living situation out of guilt, but if he doesn’t like their living arrangement anymore doesn’t that mean he’s standing in his own way? I have to be respectful of his situation.

[mommymommymommy]

DO NOT DATE COWORKERS. Don't do it

[Rainofsac]

I never would’ve considered it until I met him. I understand the risks. But what I’m mainly concerned is why he has such a strong connection with me? I don’t like the situation he’s in and I don’t understand why he’d allow himself to be dragged by someone’s personal struggles that somehow became his own…

[mommymommymommy]

DO NOT DATE COWORKERS