Guys say I’m angry …. Why can’t they love me through it?

[Anonymous]

I understand that I am not perfect and I may fall short sometimes. I am depressed and I do have super low self esteem. I’ve been told that by a guy..

I don’t want anyone to fix me or tolerate whatever… but sometimes I wish they could just love me through it. I wish they could just hold me, talk to me care for me… because deep down that’s all I really want and deep

im touch starved. Never had a first kiss or intimacy.. I don’t understand why I’m not enough sometimes

[Anonymous]

I think you need to work on loving yourself first. If you have daddy issues then I understand as a result you feel a deep yearning for male attention/love, but right now you sound so down in the dumps I don’t think you have any love to offer at the time. You have anger and whatever other mental health issues that need to be addressed, so you can heal. Then eventually you’ll be able to bring your best self to the table when you try dating, and attract a man who actually wants to sit. When you’re lashing out, angry, overly emotional and insecure all rolled up into a trauma burrito, no one wants a bite of that lol. Work on yourself, then when the man comes he will only be an addition to your current happiness.

[Asker]

Yeah, I’ve been struggling for years with some things. I don’t think I’ll ever be 100 percent healed or happy. I’m deeply unhappy. I’m not the most attractive so that’s strike one. I’m always second to another woman.

[Opinion Owner]

Tbh I don’t think there’s an adult alive who is 100% happy, or healed for that matter. We are all works in progress, not a single body perfect. All we can do is work on the things we have control of. For you it’s your anger, unhappiness, insecure, feeling unworthy.. these are not things you want to bring into a new relationship in your current state, right now it’s baggage. You can get to a place where’s it’s manageable though, like automatically opting for better ways to handle or express a feeling.

[Asker]

I just still feel like a guy can love you through it. Nothing else is working and tbh I’m tired fr. Not to sound too pathetic but I am.

I have been doing only fans on and off and it has helped me feel something. I feel good and seen.

I guess it’s another world for me

[Opinion Owner]

Everyone has limits, and if your behavior is negatively impacting them in a serious way then you honestly shouldn’t want them to love you at that expense. You gotta work on yourself every day it’s not something you just try, but my point is to get yourself to a place where you can bring a better version of yourself to the table. Right now you’re really struggling, I don’t see how a relationship or a man is even in the cards.

[arodriguez664]

Therapy is great for working through unresolved anger, depression, and everything else.

[slatyb]

Why should they? They have no duty to you. If you are abusive when you are angry, it's healthy for them to leave.

When adults are easily angered, it's often a result of suppressed anger toward a parent or other authority figure. They express their anger with others because it feels safer that confronting the person they are truly angry with.

[Guardian45]

No one wants an angry lover. Release your anger. Be happy, funny, warm, caring and you'll be beating men off with a stick! Down Boys! Down!

[Guardian45]

Thank you for MHG!