Have you ever felt like you can't ever find anyone? Why?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's been almost 15 years since I've had a "girlfriend," and THAT was... a disaster. I have never had a relationship last more than a few months at most, and it was years between dates/girlfriends.

I now live in the middle of nowhere, and there aren't really many women around (and none my age who are single).

At the moment, I'm not in a good place to try to date anyone - I've become less physically attractive (I have to wonder how that's even possible) and a lot less confident over the last few years (and I wasn't super confident before), and especially this year. I have had some setbacks lately.

At my "best" - being younger, thinner, my most outgoing, my best job situations... I still didn't date, still didn't really meet women much, and they still saw me as a complete loser.

My guess is I'd probably never have a woman who would accept signing a prenup, and marriages (divorce courts) tend to work against average guys, so I don't see anything lasting over a year or two IF I ever find someone to date because I'm leery about marriage. That's if the women are decent to me during the relationship, I'd still be cautious. I don't have much luck in life.

Work (I'm working on some changes to my job) would probably take up a lot of my time for the next few years, at least. Outside of work (which is where I tend to shine), there's not much a typical modern Westernized woman would find worthwhile (not that I don't have plenty of worthwhile traits...) - unless I somehow became more attractive (grew five inches, worked out and became super fit and athletic, made over 100k annually, etc), I don't see much happening any time soon. If I'm not working, then I'm probably trying to sleep or just do my own thing. The few times I get to sit and relax - quietly read or watch a movie (or play the occasional video game) - my favorite ways to destress -will probably not help me meet women, and looking at me, I don't think any women would want to talk to me, so that means I have to be a lot better and suddenly develop huge social skills, and talk to them and get them interested. I wonder if I'm going to have any time for women, whether I want that or not.

Count_de_Monte_Volo · Accepted Answer

We can’t find anyone >in ways that we expect or want<. This is perhaps the wrong way to mentally go about seeking a partner, or just half of what we should be thinking.
The more faults we accept then the more people we will “find” as acceptable partners (and the more we stop using actors and models as a standard).
Just like with anything else (I hope) we don’t expect things to be perfect, but for some reason I think we have higher expectations in dating. We know and accept that not everything is perfect, except when it comes to the opposite sex. We know and accept that fast food doesn’t look like the picture and we know and accept that traffic jams happen on the road. Why don’t we accept people’s flaws in dating as much?

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

These comments made me saddd lol

I wish I could give everyone a hug, but for now: here’s a virtual teddy bear for you to take—> 🧸.

I have felt personally, that I couldn’t find anyone and I realized it was that no one had any admiration for the traits and qualities I possess.

The morals I may have and such, are not the ones others have and have with conviction.

So it’s like this- if a person upholds justice and they only meet suitors who do not believe in justice or do not favor justice- do you think any of those suitors will want to pair up with that one person who upholds justice? No because they don’t value or cherish those traits and qualities.

Humanity is very diverse in today’s age- and that’s a good thing.

We also have our preferences and that isn’t too bad either,

but it seems if we are not just mathematically “lucky,” then we will have to not be so picky or such extremists with our beliefs and/or passions.

It would then be like this:

Just because the person we date doesn’t work in law like us, doesn’t mean we have to REJECT them!! Lol

We should still be able to date someone who doesn’t work in law and believe in it as much as we do.

We should be able to date someone who is a zookeeper or an athlete.

So understand people will have different beliefs and admirations.

We are not there to be someone’s celebrity or biggest fan- we are there to share company and presence with a partner. To live life alongside of and on many nightly occasions, be intimate with.

So people of today have to readjust what they truly think the role of a partner is to THEM!

They cannot be your Superman.. but they can be a friend. And a friend should be allowed to be the authentic individual, that they are.

:]

I’m still waiting to see.

Just see who you vibe with. That’s all. And let us not limit ourselves either.

We don’t NEED to have common hobbies, but we can still have shared hobbies to basic things like daily walks or so.

How many people walk their pets? So there you have it: you already have something in common with a great portion of the human race and that’s someone who’s date-able for you.

catiecatie · Accepted Answer

Yes I do actually. I’m afraid I’m going to die alone. Guys have showed interest but no one really stands out to me. I like this one guy and according to my male friends he is showing interest but I don't know if he has a girlfriend. He’s never mentioned one and last time we were together he bugged me to tell him my favorite college football team. I didn’t want to tell him as he went to the rival school. Some picked up on that and then said she didn’t want to tell you because you went to that other school. Which was true but he kept asking for it. So I’m hopeful as I will ask him for drinks as I think I owe him one for helping me so much! But like I said I do feel like I will die alone. I’m hopeful for this guy but who knows what will happen.

Sentimental_Stoic · Answer

I am a decent guy. And I've been reading a little about what's written about nice guys here. I'd not say that it didn't affect me. It did, momentarily. But then I was like, do hell with it.

I am what I am.

All things combined make me what I am. And if the people out there are not going to appreciate it, so be it.

I'm not gonna change my core character just to be with someone.

I find a few, and I let one come close to me, and if they don't appreciate, I leave, eventually. But yeah, I do wait patiently coz everyone needs time. But people can only hurt me a few times, after that, I stop caring. And I move forward.

And yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd move alone. And I was happy about it.

But then someone comes banging at my heart. Lol.

Still, very high chances of being alone.

Leapfrog00 · Answer

Yes. I used to have no trouble finding love. It depends on your atmosphere too. I live in an area with drugs and girls selling themselves for them, so I must be careful here. I'm sure they have STDs.

If you ever have trouble finding someone, you may just be in a place where there aren't many decent people. Try going to different places and get out every once in a while.

Tomisworthless · Answer

Yeah umm I don't know I’d say it’s multiple reasons, being unattractive, no personality, potentially homosexual, weak and timid. Skinny, poor, dull looking and lacking in expression. Women are pretty honest in real life when it comes to me they usually don’t hesitate to say that I’m ugly gross a faggot or call me a tryhard. Typically get laughed at insulted or mocked by them, I also don’t try to date or interact with women since my social and sexual market value is essentially non existent. Can’t say I’ve ever tried to date but at the same I know I can’t date so no need to try.

Lionman95 · Answer

Yes because finding a partner is something that takes time and energy. For some people that´s easy and for others it´s not.
It gets harder the more you expect from the other person. Take your time because at the end it doesn´t matter how much you experimented with and tried out but if you´re happy or not.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Nope.

But I have thought that If I can never find a partner sexier than my ex, I’ll just wait till about 31 and then have a child with either a hot sperm donor or a hot guy who’s willing to give me a child, no strings attached. I am independent enough to raise children on my own. I won’t settle for less than I want.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Man y'all have zero confidence in yourselves. Get out there and start talking to people. I think you'll find that members of the opposite (or same) sex are more receptive to you than you think. Especially you youngins!
Jump in the pool head first, the water's fine

aoihewgf · Answer

So in the general sense I know that I can find somebody but is that somebody the person I think i should be able to get?

If my preferences start being treated like my non negotiable requirements, then yes I can feel that way because the odds of finding that person are almost impossible.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yes!!
Because I CAN'T!! It's been 22 years, as of this summer and she wasn't REALLY even into me romantically for the last 6 of our 10 years together!
Girl's CLAIM thy want tall guys but, I'm tall and they want next to nothing to do with me!! Maybe they're afraid of my dick? I really don't know! AS USUAL, they won't TELL ME!!

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Yeah. I’ve always felt that way. Every time I’ve liked someone it wouldn’t work out. Whenever I’ve been in love it ended badly too. I’m just over it lol.

Willoughby23 · Answer

Yea. I only really try to find women on apps which has worked a handful of times. I think I might have more success if I tried to pick up girls irl instead of on dating apps, but I hate approaching women in real life so not doing that. I also don’t try that hard on the apps. I need to lose weight too but Im also not trying to do that because I hate exercising. Doesn’t help that Im short too.

BCRanger10 · Answer

I did for a while. It was mostly because of confidence and self-image issues.

art84 · Answer

Honestly yes, though I just don't want to be the effort to find someone nor really care. I rather just be alone as I am already used to it as a teenager and in my 20's.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have never thought that once. Life is what you make of it, but sadly, some people are too unmotivated to make it work for them.

Heolurt · Answer

Nope I don't feel that way, I know I can't ever find someone and I am ok with that these days, it's one of the reasons why I gave up trying to date in the first.

DermalPunch · Answer

No, there is always someone. Whether they are decent, compatible and truly invested is the issue.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

Life is a marathon baby girl, you’re still youthful. Take your time and be the right person so the right person can find you

MementoMori777 · Answer

Yea, I trust God tho, I know whoever it is that he has prepared for me will be at the best time, it's why I don't stress too much about it

cth2188 · Answer

Yes my dating pool is small based on many factors pretainint to potential suitors

YourExLover69 · Answer

I have admitted this already. I'd die single

TooHot2Care · Answer

Bro, you’re not even 18 yet. What the fuck. Go make friends, go do sports, go study for tests or go to Six Flags or the city or the mall.  Go on. Get out of here. Shoo.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Sort of. I know matches exist, but finding one is so unreasonably difficult, that it often results in feeling impossible to put up with.

lightbulb27 · Answer

sure felt like that in my younger years. because I wasn't worth dating.

AdithyaR · Answer

Because I'm convinced that I'm fundamentally undateable and nothing I do will change that.

Greenbean27 · Answer

It's not uncommon anymore do to the rise of social anxiety men are more unlikely to ask women out. The fear of rejection is high.

Anonymous · Answer

Felt same. Every time I’ve liked someone that person liked someone else or i faced betrayal. Mostly guys are just physically attracted to me putting no effort. Im tired.

tstarr17 · Answer

I used to be like that, but I spent way too much time on apps, which are like window shopping and very superficial. I used to blame myself way too much, but not anymore. I really should put myself out there a lot more often though.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Finding a "right" one is a challenge. Just finding one is pretty easy.

Reorx · Answer

Yes, a consequence of taking care of mother since I was 19. I haven't bothered with dating at all. I'm not sure how much longer I can, signs of dementia:(

sheikalana · Answer

Used to feel that way when I was in my 20s.

SirJohn42 · Answer

Your young you will find the right guy.  It will take time but dont compromise your values or your beliefs.

FireFox001 · Answer

Never can't = you can all the time. Learn your fucking grammar. And no. I don't care if I find someone.

clampfan101 · Answer

I’m basically trapped at home. (It’s a long story.)

Anonymous · Answer

No. Because I know most SINGLE women at my age are trash. Which is why they're single. It's not rocket science.

kakaling · Answer

Sometimes there are just too much competition.

serious · Answer

The fact is I don't want too.

Molly1997 · Answer

No , it’s just so easy

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

No. Just went out there and went searching:)

shades777 · Answer

people come and go like seasons

TrillXHippy · Answer

Where I live it’s because of my looks

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Yes. I know im not right for anyone.

NATesque · Answer

Yeah, because I was moody

smartman12 · Answer

Yes, Sadly, I've felt this way for over 20 years.

Swxaddy · Answer

At times and I mean just tofuck

In_Trance · Answer

nope

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah lol

riverrat3 · Answer

It happens

Have you ever felt like you can't ever find anyone? Why?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Have you ever felt like you can't ever find anyone? Why?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.