Why are men afraid of marriage?

[Liylil]

Why do men run away from marriage?

[Miristheiss]

I'd say that to those who are purposely avoiding marriage, 2 of the main possibilities are:

They are a CHAD/TYRONE. They never want to marry and will just keep sleeping with as many lose woman as will let them.

or

They are avoiding the LEGAL CONTRACT. Marriage involved the GOVERNMENT. There is a legal contract signed and for most courts, that entitles the woman to half of your 401K (even though she didn't pay into it), any businesses or assets you own, possibly alimony so you'll have to keep paying her after any divorces, any kids will almost always get to live with her and you'll be mandated as to how little you'll get to see them and you'll have to pay her child support.

Women are rewarded to BREAK the contract and no fault divorce is pretty prevalent which means a woman can just "fall out of love" one day and decide to divorce him and financially rape him.

Read up on statistics. Women initiate the VAST MAJORITY of divorces and any man who has EVER been with a woman knows how hard they are to keep happy. Women love drama, they worry about stuff all the time and just go out of their way to be worried about something and to be anxious. 5 years in and suddenly, she doesn't feel in love anymore... off to divorce court, bring in the government to rape the man.

Oh, don't forget all the lawyer fees.

If marriage laws weren't the way they were and if the government weren't so involved in personal relationships and if divorces were hard to get (had to show infidelity or abuse) instead of just "oh, I'm bored with person, I don't have the tingles anymore... I'll have a divorce please" THEN marriage would still be an attractive option.

Face it. If you spend time with a guy and are willing to have sex with him... what really drives him towards marriage. Back in the day where the vast majority of women wouldn't put out unless her guy committed to her and married her society was pretty stable with marriages and families (and if they wanted a divorce it was harder to do) but with today's culture women put out so easy and the talk is literally, well, should we have sex on the first date, second date or 3rd date and every 25 year old woman has at least 10 former sex partners, if not 50. WHY WOULD A LOGICAL MAN WHO IS GOOD IN BUSINESS sign up for this legal contract?

[BullShark]

Because in today's day and age, people marry less for love and more because they're getting too old and they're afraid they'll die alone and their lineage will end with their death.

Aside from that, let's not forget how the Western media as well nowadays as well as modern feminism is encouraging women to have outlandish standards in dating, and telling them it's okay for them to hoe around and have a lay count in the double or triple digits, saying that it's okay and that if a man has a problem with it, he's "insecure".

Now before anyone here decides to come at my throats, let me just say that not all women are like this and there are still plenty of women out there who still have traditional family standards and would much rather have a comfortable life and a nice loving family. But the unrealistic standards are still there, and for this very reason, most men nowadays don't want to bother with a woman with no family values, no regard for anyone's morals, terrible social upbringing and no good real father or mother figure to look up to.

No good man, or any man in general would want to settle down with a woman like that who they know will cut and run and desert them when the going gets tough or if she finds another man with a bigger house, a better car or if worse comes to worst, a bigger d*ck. What's worse is that in the west, divorce laws are even more brutal, biased and unfair, and almost always, the woman will win the case, take the kids, the house and everything the man owns, and all she needs to do is say she wants a divorce, and if he says no, hurt herself or just go into court and say a fat lie like she was raped by him, or he beats her and the kids, or that he's unfaithful, without even a shred of proof, and boom. Winner winner, chicken dinner.

[Babygirl_S]

I think they're more afraid of a divorce which is incredibly common in the Western countries. They refrain from getting married as they're scared to lose all of their money. In the countries where divorce rates are surprisingly high and women initiate most of them, it is quite understandable.

Why would someone get married in such a country? Most marriages are destined to fail.

In less developed countries like India, most people get married to lose virginity and they stay with the same person no matter what. It may sound funny or archaic. The dark side is that so many women stay with abusive and cheating partners due to societal pressure.

Moreover, Western women have sex and babies before marriage a lot more often so it eliminates the need to get married for most men.

Marriage requires commitment to an imperfect person so they prefer the easier options.

[Puppystarfish23]

I've spoken to my boyfriend of 4 years about is and he's only just starting to consider marriage now but he wants me to sign a prenup.

It shocked me at first but now I kinda of get it and I think its a good thing for both of us. My boyfriend as always wanted us to be 50/50 as equal as we possibly can. We bring in pretty much the same amount of money into the home so it's fair if we went are separate ways we took 50/50 on the money in a divorce no one getting more out of this then the other.

My boyfriend is also set to inherit a lot once his grandparents and parents past and he had a family friend in a similar situation and once his friend mum died his wife divorced him and took everything including the family home and seeing that happened was a big wake up call to my boyfriend but he needs to protect himself and his families money.

[Genie23]

It's a life changing decision. If you married the right person, it can make your life beautiful but if you got married to the wrong person... Your life will change for worse. Divorce is difficult to deal with... Heartbreak, long procedure of divorce, alimony in some cases and your kids being away from you... It's too much to handle.

[OfMiceandMen]

I think women's expectations of men can be overwhelming which makes men shy away from marriage. Women want the "perfect man", you see it all the time with these lists that go on and on of their ideal mate even before they're married (Good job, nice car, big dick, handsome, wants kids, etc.). Yet, guys rarely make such lists of women (at least the one's in it for the right reason), as they like to keep things simple. They just want to meet someone they are highly compatible with, have a great connection, and see themselves being with the rest of their life. The rest will come along as they grow together.

So there's a lot of pressure to measure up to those ideals from the get-go. Consequently, it discourages us to think that we won't attain the level of the women's expectations, and possibly ruin the idealistic image that is in her head.

Ergo, a lot of men take the approach my good buddy in my avatar is doing, and crawl back in his shell, to be safe. No one wants to crush/disappoint someone else's dreams by not living up to their standard.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I don't run from marriage. But I do run away from lovebombing clingy whackadoodles from nowhere that call me baby after only two days, and ask for money via Western Union on day 3!

I also stop pursuing if she disappears for two years without a trace, then suddenly reappears with a kid that clearly isn't mine, acting like nothing happened.

I also won't pursue anything if she reveals herself to be a pathological liar. Or a psychotic control freak.

If she belongs on some public registry to warn men not to date her, she isn't marriage material.

I've even found that the church is no safer nor more guaranteed to yield better results than picking up women from Subway. And that's depressing!

How many times do I have to move, in order to not live among sewer rats?

[ChillaxingLove]

Whackadoodles lol imma steal that

[Static_In_The_Attic]

It’s Not That We Are Afraid it’s We’re Not Stupid! Marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is gone.

As for me I’m not married & I have never been married & I don’t plan on getting married & if I’m stupid enough to get married hopefully I’m smart enough to breakout & sign the prenuptial agreements be for I say I do. Marriage is a piece of paper to me & with all honesty I think the bond is stronger without marriage.

Divorce lawyers love when people get married.

[RavVid]

It is quite straight forward. I am speaking for myself but think others will think similar.

First we have noticed that the average time to divorce is 8 years.

Second that 70-80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. Men very seldom initiate divorce. The closest it gets is 20% are jointly initiated by husband and wife.

So we might have done all we could be expected to do but most likely will be divorced by 8 years by our wife. Most likely we will have a couple of kiddies in that 8 years.

Is at least losing half our assets after 8 years and possibly never seeing our children that we will be paying child support for, a good deal or something we would elect not to get into?

[ShellyB]

In my case, my then boyfriend (now fiance) wanted to get engaged like 18 months before I was ready, I kept telling him there is no rush, we were faithful to each other it was nothing about playing the field I just wanted to enjoy that stage of my life if that makes sense. And we are engaged now, and he would prefer getting married sooner I am the one slowing it down. I love him and I want to marry him and again, we are faithful to each other, again I just feel like there is no rush. With my girlfriends, I have heard more about guys pressing than about guys being afraid but I wouldn't want to assume my circle of friends represents everybody. JMO!

[DamianTheSmikkelbeer]

@ShellyB The whole marriage thing depends more on the person then really the person being a “man” or a “woman. It’s why i don’t really like this question much, perhaps this thinking is popular culture as is everything but oh well. Sure there’s a difference in mentality towards marriage between males and females, but that’s it. I think that females are more dreamish and idealistic about marriage and want it to go as smooth as possible, on the other hand i feel like a man more looks at it as a investment and as a long-term plan. (Not to say he doesn’t love his wife he does, but marriage itself is a contract and that’s a simple fact) you can be a endless romantic but still marriage will shock you when you know the vast majority of them sadly don’t work out.

[hbg84]

With half of all marriage ending in divorce. Of those divorces 80 percent are filed by women. Plus the courts rough 97 percent of the time favor the woman. She ends up getting house cars kids child support and alimony. Even if she cheated. why is advantageous for men to marry. Its not. Is the simple answer. Men get f ed hard. Most of us would like to find a nice woman to settle with and have a family. But its not gonna happen because women today especially western women are told to self absorbed or plain greedy and just want a man with money. We aren't so much afraid of marriage we are completely aware of the risk to reward ratio of it. And we simply choose to not put ourselves through all that pain of emotional loss and financial loss.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Most of the men I know are not. They just don't see you as wifey material. Systemically there's more for a man to lose through marriage than a woman. How many women do you know that pay spousal support after a divorce? Oh you heard of a couple? Okay nobody cares about your exception to the rule, you understand my point. If we're going to wife you up it's because you check all the boxes. If he's "acting scared of marriage" then you're good enough for now. Not trying to be harsh. Sorry if it came across that way, but I respect your question too much to not be honest.

[LazerBean]

A lot of men know they either are not competent enough to pick a good wife or don't have the qualities to get attract one. Also, men have realized that they can often just get a girlfriend that will give them most of the benefits of a wife without any of the responsibility of them being a husband, so they just go that route.

[msc545]

A lot of men know that women's greed and the laws are stacked against them, and decide not to play Russian Roulette with a mostly loaded gun. Stop blaming men for the shitty behavior of women.

[LazerBean]

It's not really Russian roulette when you can estimate divorce probability and marital satisfaction probably based on the person's body count. It's just a fact that the life of a slut is doomed to failure.

[msc545]

@LazerBean That assumes that women tell the truth about body counts. I am willing to bet good money they don't, and there is no way to check it. It also assumes that body count is a rigorous predictor of infidelity. It isn't - it is a somewhat weak predictor at best.

Combine women lying and the predictor problem, and you will do better with a coin toss or Tarot cards.

[LazerBean]

No, YOUR body count is is what predicts your satisfaction or failure. So I'm certainly not trying to convince you to marry, because frankly I agree that it's not likely to work for you or most men these days.

[msc545]

@LazerBean Men's body counts are not predictive of infidelity or divorce. You are now resorting to lying in order to make your very dubious points. Stop it.

[Friendlybro79]

You don't seem like a prize either lol. Sheesh. You're so damn negative towards men.

[LazerBean]

I'm sure you would like to keep thinking that, since sluts are notorious for not wanting to take responsibility for their own actions and since accepting the facts would force you to accept that you are doomed to continue down your road of relationship failure. The facts remain that men who are sluts are inferior and unfit for marriage, thus why they are failures in those marriages.

scholar.google.com/.../0192513X231155673&hl=en&sa=T&oi=ucasa&ct=ufr&ei=dLhTZKybOIzsyQSOtIboAg&scisig=AGlGAw_7jYLs8ZAuBJDqKZEuuOEW

ifstudies.org/.../does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness

@Friendlybro79 I'm not negative towards men, I'm only negative towards sluts. It just so happens that most men are sluts, and that male sluts get a lot more upset about being called out as a sluts than female sluts do.

[msc545]

This is really not about men's behavior but rather about women's behavior. Women are really rarely concerned with men's body counts, whereas men are overly concerned with women's body counts. The reason for this is the persistent belief among men that women's body counts are predictive of infidelity. You might be one of the few women that believe the opposite is true. Even if it is. That is not the point of my comments.

[msc545]

What you were doing here is attempting to shift the narrative and blame men as much as possible for anything that goes wrong in a relationship. You are doing this by alleging that men's body counts are predictive of their subsequent behavior. Unless you have some actual proof of this or some good research supporting this notion, I suggest that this is just a fabrication on your part to deflect attention from the real issues.

[Friendlybro79]

Well at least your consistent then

[LazerBean]

@msc545 tha5 a lot of words just to say you don't take responsibility that I'm not going to read. Classic bastard children. Enjoy your failure ✌🏼

[msc545]

I don't need to take responsibility for anything you think I do.

[msc545]

@LazerBean Learn to read and then think properly.

[LazerBean]

I did, hoe. That's why I take responsibility for my actions and outcomes in my own life 🤷🏽‍♀️

[LazerBean]

Just because I see no value in reading your bastard child blubbering doesn't mean I don't know how to read

[msc545]

blocked and reported. Learn to control your temper.

[LazerBean]

Cry hoe

[DamianTheSmikkelbeer]

@LazerBean “A lot of men know they either are not competent enough to pick a good wife” think that’s a little too simplistic because marriage is marriage and it sure as hell is complicated and not a easy-choice. Marriage is a active-landmine when it goes wrong and it’ll always influence your life even if your divorce happened 20 years ago. You’ll always be told by your friends about how they hope the “2nd wife” works out better or be known in the neighborhood as the “divorced early 30’s” dude living on the corner of the street. Marriage’s tough and hard to sustain nowadays, it’s gotten at a terrible point in this era for sure. It really needs to be your soul-mate or it’s going to burn down like it’s heading to hell, modernity has it’s advantages but if it comes to love i believe it’s mostly disadvantages because this world has gotten materialistic as hell and i don’t wanna play part in any of it. You’re either real or you can avoid me, that’s how i usually roll

[LazerBean]

I was definitely simplifying things, but it really does just come down to needing both the competence to pick a good spouse and the quality to attract them. I know very few people who have both, which is why realistically I agree that most people shouldn't marry. Pretty much I wouldn't ever recommend marriage for anyone with a body count of more than two.

[DamianTheSmikkelbeer]

@LazerBean Well we agree yet again, do not think that body count necessarily matters though but it will always influence a relationship sooner or later and if i know about somebody’s bodycount i definitely look different at them

[Vegasrunner]

@LazerBean Marriage doesn't hold any tangible benifits to men. Ask a women what she brings and she will undoubtedly recite a self serving narrative highlighting a bunch of emotional things men aren't looking for. In addition marriage goes against most men's biological nature as successful men seek quanity and marriage by definition limits them to one woman. W/ marriage rates declining hopefully it's an indication that future generations of men are resisting this antiquated system designed for women only.

[Sour-rose]

I don't think it's being afraid; it's about the worth of it today. Which is weak and means very little. Also with it comes bullshi and terror for man. While a woman... might get a slap on the wrist or get everything. Leaving the man with nothing. :/ but what do i know, i'm wise but not all knowing.

[Sunssong]

You understand how many men think. I'm not afraid of marriage I just think you can be married in spirit or in the heart without being recognized by the government as married. I think the pros of gov marriage aren't worth it. I don't care about the pros, I care about being in love. We can have a wedding and rings and say we are husband and wife with signing any papers. The only thing is the gov won't recognize it as marriage, which is fine with me. I think creating our own thing is far more beautiful than faking some tradition. If it is real to us than it is real. I don't even have to get into the cons of gov marriage to know I dont want one.

[Exterminatore]

At least in the west 50% or better of marriages end in divorce. Divorce laws are grossly slanted in favor of women and most men don’t like the idea of having to live in their parents basement after every asset they have and their children have been stripped from them.


Would you want to go sky diving if you knew 50% of the parachutes weren’t going to work?


In the west, this is what the prospects are like for men. We now have 2-3 generations of men who watched mom leave dad penniless and in poverty after mommy decided she didn’t love dad any more and wanted to be free. There are enough men who have seen how this can potentially end for them and are opting out.


Can you blame them?

[inhua]

they're not. they're afraid of being married to the wrong woman and there's a lot of them out there and modern western society allows wrong women to get away with bad things e. g. paternity fraud, infidelity, false rape accusations, taking away his assets in divorce court etc. whilst demonizing the man himself and making him out to be crazy, abusive, deadbeat etc.

notable example Johnny Depp and Amber Heard

[Anonymous]

We’re not afraid of it, many of us just don’t see a benefit in it. Especially w the way the divorce rate is, initiated by I believe 70% of women in most cases. Left w almost nothing after a divorce having worked all your life for what you’ve earned. Not only that a lot of women these days being nothing to the table. They feel like being w them is enough, like that’s what they thing to the table. Many of them don’t know how to cook, mental health problems, single parent, etc. Especially these women w this I don’t need a man attitude I’m a boss bitch. Besides most women are willing to give a man everything, sex, kids, etc before marriage.

[Lionman95]

Because they´ve heard of one too many marriages that didn´t work out well. Generally speaking many guys don´t see a need for marriage anymore since to them marriage doesn´t have a benefit a relationship or an open relationship couldn´t give them.
Marriage is deeper than a relationship since it comes with a life long commitment on paper. Sure there is the option of divorce but that´s a stressful and long act so many guys prefer not to marry over having to go through that.

[Adaeva]

Many men believe the laws and family courts have a strong bias in favor of women. That is they believe that women overwhelmingly file for divorce, that the courts will award the mothers custody and treat the fathers as only a wallet. Also, that the man will lose half of his assets and forced to pay unreasonably high amounts for both alimony and child support. As a result of those beliefs, many men believe marriage is too risky.

[DamianTheSmikkelbeer]

We don’t just believe it, some of us know it to a bigger degree because we’ve either experienced it or seen someone affected by it. To make it clear: I don’t believe there’s any system working against anyone, not some patriachy or some Matrix dadoodle crap a bald British man talks about. Just think that humans have a bias and as will courts and all systems & laws that exist, that’s no biggie for me necessarily as nature got it’s biases aswell. It really is unfair to a degree but that’s another story, i think it’s hypocritical when some men behave as if women inherently wanted this, that’s just utter nonsense. In-fact men created this system and if anything we screwed ourselves with it, females are more likely to be seen as nurturing caring & loving people and there certainly is a truth to that. Now men do that aswell to a degree, but we do it differently and certainly behave different. And marriage is risky, i don’t think that’s “believing” it is for both men and women, but men especially. It’s literally a contract with the government / local state, signing and contract with the government gets close to signing a deal with the devil so you ought to choose your words carefully lol

[Blues36]

Can you follow me

[Exterminatore]

@adaeva

You say “the believe.” Of course many men believe this. Because it’s true and many of us watched this happen to us, our fathers, our relatives and friends.

I’m sure there are many lying statistics that show this belief to be false. When I’ve seen this many times to people I know and experienced it myself I don’t care about made up stats. I can see it happening in front of me. Who will I believe? My eyes or a statician?

Beliefs like this don’t foment because some guy read about such a thing happening to some guy he doesn’t know that lives 5 states away. They foment because it’s observable all around us.

[Anonymous]

Not afraid. Just not beneficial. Women get most of the benefits when it comes to marriage. Security, protection, emotional support, money. And because of that, women get too comfortable and decide they aren’t going to do what the man wants. They become lazy and unmotivated to keep a man happy. Plus, if they decide to leave or break up. The woman doesn’t have to do anything and the courts will grant her whatever she wants.. she could be a bum with no money and a mountain of debt, and the would still get the house, cars and money, even though that guy has his shit together making a lot of money, loves his kids and provides for them well. This is why men don’t want to get married

[Anonymous]

There's nothing but risk involved, when men get married. The courts are heavily biased towards women, in the event of divorce.

Men can lose their house, their money, and their children, despite having done nothing wrong. In return for this risk, men gain absolutely nothing that they couldn't have gotten from having a girlfriend.

All marriage does is increase their risk, for zero net gain. It's a bad deal.

[incubuskatz]

Because they are afraid of God. To me they are never really truly “single” even when you fuck someone outside of marriage whether it is a fling, a hookup a girlfriend it is consider marriage to Gods eyes, even though there is no official documents to show for it paper wise, it is still seen as marriage through God’s eyes and that person dies every time they have sex, less and less of their real selves seize to exists.

[Dargil]

SJW/Woke/Feminism has infused Western culture. It has caused women to turn away from the traditional lifestyle, men, family and children. It is also true that 80% of divorces are filed by women. Western women have become land mines and is why men should look to Latin America and the Orient for a life partner. I did exactly that and succeeded.

[Finchie40]

Mainly because of all the nonsense they see and hear about on social media about how girl’s are selfish and can’t be faithful and in time will get bored of him and basically she is only after his money , so if they end up divorced she will take half of what he worked for and earned , And statistics show females initiate divorce way more than guys do so most guys today don’t want to put themselves in that situation , They see no reason for being married to someone if it’s eventually going to end

[Exterminatore]

Except it’s not nonsense. Have you seen women lately?

[Finchie40]

Yea but not every girl is like that , a majority of them yes but not all , it’s just harder to find the good ones these days , most of us guys aren’t innocent either so it’s slim pickings for both sides but we keep on trying , i love intimacy and affection with a girl so I am not stopping I just try to play better cards that’s all , and I am in no rush for marriage , I already been there and done it so it’s definitely not on the top of my to do list lol but having a beautiful girl that wants to be by my side and have fun together is something I won’t complain about if she isn’t a whore she is just my whore 😋

[Exterminatore]

I agree that they’re not all line that, that it’s slim pickings on both sides and that men have their own issues.

The thing is when it comes to marriage the guy is gonna loose way more than the girl.

I’ve never seen or even heard of a woman paying alimony, and seldom have seen or heard of them not getting the kids and having to pay child support.

On top of that assets are divided 50/50. However if she didn’t put 50% in she shouldn’t get 50% out. If a guy hypothetically makes $50K and a girl $25K, then she should only get a quarter of the assets and value of things. I mean it’s rice to say 50/50 but it’s not really fair.