Why are men afraid of marriage?

Question

Why do men run away from marriage?

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

I'd say that to those who are purposely avoiding marriage, 2 of the main possibilities are:

They are a CHAD/TYRONE. They never want to marry and will just keep sleeping with as many lose woman as will let them.

or

They are avoiding the LEGAL CONTRACT. Marriage involved the GOVERNMENT. There is a legal contract signed and for most courts, that entitles the woman to half of your 401K (even though she didn't pay into it), any businesses or assets you own, possibly alimony so you'll have to keep paying her after any divorces, any kids will almost always get to live with her and you'll be mandated as to how little you'll get to see them and you'll have to pay her child support.

Women are rewarded to BREAK the contract and no fault divorce is pretty prevalent which means a woman can just "fall out of love" one day and decide to divorce him and financially rape him.

Read up on statistics. Women initiate the VAST MAJORITY of divorces and any man who has EVER been with a woman knows how hard they are to keep happy. Women love drama, they worry about stuff all the time and just go out of their way to be worried about something and to be anxious. 5 years in and suddenly, she doesn't feel in love anymore... off to divorce court, bring in the government to rape the man.

Oh, don't forget all the lawyer fees.

If marriage laws weren't the way they were and if the government weren't so involved in personal relationships and if divorces were hard to get (had to show infidelity or abuse) instead of just "oh, I'm bored with person, I don't have the tingles anymore... I'll have a divorce please" THEN marriage would still be an attractive option.

Face it. If you spend time with a guy and are willing to have sex with him... what really drives him towards marriage. Back in the day where the vast majority of women wouldn't put out unless her guy committed to her and married her society was pretty stable with marriages and families (and if they wanted a divorce it was harder to do) but with today's culture women put out so easy and the talk is literally, well, should we have sex on the first date, second date or 3rd date and every 25 year old woman has at least 10 former sex partners, if not 50. WHY WOULD A LOGICAL MAN WHO IS GOOD IN BUSINESS sign up for this legal contract?

BullShark · Accepted Answer

Because in today's day and age, people marry less for love and more because they're getting too old and they're afraid they'll die alone and their lineage will end with their death.

Aside from that, let's not forget how the Western media as well nowadays as well as modern feminism is encouraging women to have outlandish standards in dating, and telling them it's okay for them to hoe around and have a lay count in the double or triple digits, saying that it's okay and that if a man has a problem with it, he's "insecure".

Now before anyone here decides to come at my throats, let me just say that not all women are like this and there are still plenty of women out there who still have traditional family standards and would much rather have a comfortable life and a nice loving family. But the unrealistic standards are still there, and for this very reason, most men nowadays don't want to bother with a woman with no family values, no regard for anyone's morals, terrible social upbringing and no good real father or mother figure to look up to.

No good man, or any man in general would want to settle down with a woman like that who they know will cut and run and desert them when the going gets tough or if she finds another man with a bigger house, a better car or if worse comes to worst, a bigger d*ck. What's worse is that in the west, divorce laws are even more brutal, biased and unfair, and almost always, the woman will win the case, take the kids, the house and everything the man owns, and all she needs to do is say she wants a divorce, and if he says no, hurt herself or just go into court and say a fat lie like she was raped by him, or he beats her and the kids, or that he's unfaithful, without even a shred of proof, and boom. Winner winner, chicken dinner.

Babygirl_S · Accepted Answer

I think they're more afraid of a divorce which is incredibly common in the Western countries. They refrain from getting married as they're scared to lose all of their money. In the countries where divorce rates are surprisingly high and women initiate most of them, it is quite understandable.

Why would someone get married in such a country? Most marriages are destined to fail.

In less developed countries like India, most people get married to lose virginity and they stay with the same person no matter what. It may sound funny or archaic. The dark side is that so many women stay with abusive and cheating partners due to societal pressure.

Moreover, Western women have sex and babies before marriage a lot more often so it eliminates the need to get married for most men.

Marriage requires commitment to an imperfect person so they prefer the easier options.

Puppystarfish23 · Accepted Answer

I've spoken to my boyfriend of 4 years about is and he's only just starting to consider marriage now but he wants me to sign a prenup.

It shocked me at first but now I kinda of get it and I think its a good thing for both of us. My boyfriend as always wanted us to be 50/50 as equal as we possibly can. We bring in pretty much the same amount of money into the home so it's fair if we went are separate ways we took 50/50 on the money in a divorce no one getting more out of this then the other.

My boyfriend is also set to inherit a lot once his grandparents and parents past and he had a family friend in a similar situation and once his friend mum died his wife divorced him and took everything including the family home and seeing that happened was a big wake up call to my boyfriend but he needs to protect himself and his families money.

Genie23 · Answer

It's a life changing decision. If you married the right person, it can make your life beautiful but if you got married to the wrong person... Your life will change for worse. Divorce is difficult to deal with... Heartbreak, long procedure of divorce, alimony in some cases and your kids being away from you... It's too much to handle.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I think women's expectations of men can be overwhelming which makes men shy away from marriage. Women want the "perfect man", you see it all the time with these lists that go on and on of their ideal mate even before they're married (Good job, nice car, big dick, handsome, wants kids, etc.). Yet, guys rarely make such lists of women (at least the one's in it for the right reason), as they like to keep things simple. They just want to meet someone they are highly compatible with, have a great connection, and see themselves being with the rest of their life. The rest will come along as they grow together.

So there's a lot of pressure to measure up to those ideals from the get-go. Consequently, it discourages us to think that we won't attain the level of the women's expectations, and possibly ruin the idealistic image that is in her head.

Ergo, a lot of men take the approach my good buddy in my avatar is doing, and crawl back in his shell, to be safe. No one wants to crush/disappoint someone else's dreams by not living up to their standard.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

I don't run from marriage. But I do run away from lovebombing clingy whackadoodles from nowhere that call me baby after only two days, and ask for money via Western Union on day 3!

I also stop pursuing if she disappears for two years without a trace, then suddenly reappears with a kid that clearly isn't mine, acting like nothing happened.

I also won't pursue anything if she reveals herself to be a pathological liar. Or a psychotic control freak.

If she belongs on some public registry to warn men not to date her, she isn't marriage material.

I've even found that the church is no safer nor more guaranteed to yield better results than picking up women from Subway. And that's depressing!

How many times do I have to move, in order to not live among sewer rats?

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

It’s Not That We Are Afraid it’s We’re Not Stupid! Marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is gone.

As for me I’m not married & I have never been married & I don’t plan on getting married & if I’m stupid enough to get married hopefully I’m smart enough to breakout & sign the prenuptial agreements be for I say I do. Marriage is a piece of paper to me & with all honesty I think the bond is stronger without marriage.

Divorce lawyers love when people get married.

RavVid · Answer

It is quite straight forward. I am speaking for myself but think others will think similar.

First we have noticed that the average time to divorce is 8 years.

Second that 70-80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. Men very seldom initiate divorce. The closest it gets is 20% are jointly initiated by husband and wife.

So we might have done all we could be expected to do but most likely will be divorced by 8 years by our wife. Most likely we will have a couple of kiddies in that 8 years.

Is at least losing half our assets after 8 years and possibly never seeing our children that we will be paying child support for, a good deal or something we would elect not to get into?

ShellyB · Answer

In my case, my then boyfriend (now fiance) wanted to get engaged like 18 months before I was ready, I kept telling him there is no rush, we were faithful to each other it was nothing about playing the field I just wanted to enjoy that stage of my life if that makes sense. And we are engaged now, and he would prefer getting married sooner I am the one slowing it down. I love him and I want to marry him and again, we are faithful to each other, again I just feel like there is no rush. With my girlfriends, I have heard more about guys pressing than about guys being afraid but I wouldn't want to assume my circle of friends represents everybody. JMO!

hbg84 · Answer

With half of all marriage ending in divorce. Of those divorces 80 percent are filed by women. Plus the courts rough 97 percent of the time favor the woman. She ends up getting house cars kids child support and alimony. Even if she cheated. why is advantageous for men to marry. Its not. Is the simple answer. Men get f ed hard. Most of us would like to find a nice woman to settle with and have a family. But its not gonna happen because women today especially western women are told to self absorbed or plain greedy and just want a man with money. We aren't so much afraid of marriage we are completely aware of the risk to reward ratio of it. And we simply choose to not put ourselves through all that pain of emotional loss and financial loss.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Most of the men I know are not. They just don't see you as wifey material. Systemically there's more for a man to lose through marriage than a woman. How many women do you know that pay spousal support after a divorce? Oh you heard of a couple? Okay nobody cares about your exception to the rule, you understand my point. If we're going to wife you up it's because you check all the boxes. If he's "acting scared of marriage" then you're good enough for now. Not trying to be harsh. Sorry if it came across that way, but I respect your question too much to not be honest.

LazerBean · Answer

A lot of men know they either are not competent enough to pick a good wife or don't have the qualities to get attract one. Also, men have realized that they can often just get a girlfriend that will give them most of the benefits of a wife without any of the responsibility of them being a husband, so they just go that route.

Sour-rose · Answer

I don't think it's being afraid; it's about the worth of it today. Which is weak and means very little. Also with it comes bullshi and terror for man. While a woman... might get a slap on the wrist or get everything. Leaving the man with nothing. :/ but what do i know, i'm wise but not all knowing.

Exterminatore · Answer

At least in the west 50% or better of marriages end in divorce. Divorce laws are grossly slanted in favor of women and most men don’t like the idea of having to live in their parents basement after every asset they have and their children have been stripped from them.

Would you want to go sky diving if you knew 50% of the parachutes weren’t going to work?

In the west, this is what the prospects are like for men. We now have 2-3 generations of men who watched mom leave dad penniless and in poverty after mommy decided she didn’t love dad any more and wanted to be free. There are enough men who have seen how this can potentially end for them and are opting out.

Can you blame them?

inhua · Answer

they're not. they're afraid of being married to the wrong woman and there's a lot of them out there and modern western society allows wrong women to get away with bad things e. g. paternity fraud, infidelity, false rape accusations, taking away his assets in divorce court etc. whilst demonizing the man himself and making him out to be crazy, abusive, deadbeat etc.

notable example Johnny Depp and Amber Heard

Anonymous · Answer

We’re not afraid of it, many of us just don’t see a benefit in it. Especially w the way the divorce rate is, initiated by I believe 70% of women in most cases. Left w almost nothing after a divorce having worked all your life for what you’ve earned. Not only that a lot of women these days being nothing to the table. They feel like being w them is enough, like that’s what they thing to the table. Many of them don’t know how to cook, mental health problems, single parent, etc. Especially these women w this I don’t need a man attitude I’m a boss bitch. Besides most women are willing to give a man everything, sex, kids, etc before marriage.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because they´ve heard of one too many marriages that didn´t work out well. Generally speaking many guys don´t see a need for marriage anymore since to them marriage doesn´t have a benefit a relationship or an open relationship couldn´t give them.
Marriage is deeper than a relationship since it comes with a life long commitment on paper. Sure there is the option of divorce but that´s a stressful and long act so many guys prefer not to marry over having to go through that.

Adaeva · Answer

Many men believe the laws and family courts have a strong bias in favor of women. That is they believe that women overwhelmingly file for divorce, that the courts will award the mothers custody and treat the fathers as only a wallet. Also, that the man will lose half of his assets and forced to pay unreasonably high amounts for both alimony and child support. As a result of those beliefs, many men believe marriage is too risky.

Anonymous · Answer

Not afraid. Just not beneficial. Women get most of the benefits when it comes to marriage. Security, protection, emotional support, money. And because of that, women get too comfortable and decide they aren’t going to do what the man wants. They become lazy and unmotivated to keep a man happy. Plus, if they decide to leave or break up. The woman doesn’t have to do anything and the courts will grant her whatever she wants.. she could be a bum with no money and a mountain of debt, and the would still get the house, cars and money, even though that guy has his shit together making a lot of money, loves his kids and provides for them well. This is why men don’t want to get married

Anonymous · Answer

There's nothing but risk involved, when men get married. The courts are heavily biased towards women, in the event of divorce.

Men can lose their house, their money, and their children, despite having done nothing wrong. In return for this risk, men gain absolutely nothing that they couldn't have gotten from having a girlfriend.

All marriage does is increase their risk, for zero net gain. It's a bad deal.

incubuskatz · Answer

Because they are afraid of God. To me they are never really truly “single” even when you fuck someone outside of marriage whether it is a fling, a hookup a girlfriend it is consider marriage to Gods eyes, even though there is no official documents to show for it paper wise, it is still seen as marriage through God’s eyes and that person dies every time they have sex, less and less of their real selves seize to exists.

Finchie40 · Answer

Mainly because of all the nonsense they see and hear about on social media about how girl’s are selfish and can’t be faithful and in time will get bored of him and basically she is only after his money , so if they end up divorced she will take half of what he worked for and earned , And statistics show females initiate divorce way more than guys do so most guys today don’t want to put themselves in that situation , They see no reason for being married to someone if it’s eventually going to end

Dargil · Answer

SJW/Woke/Feminism has infused Western culture. It has caused women to turn away from the traditional lifestyle, men, family and children. It is also true that 80% of divorces are filed by women. Western women have become land mines and is why men should look to Latin America and the Orient for a life partner. I did exactly that and succeeded.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

I personally don’t run I’m just very cautious. You have to live with them for the rest of your life, I don’t think people really take forever seriously. They always feel if it don’t workout you can always divorce, that’s not my mindset. Mistake or not I’m staying forever, just ganna have to work it out. But better to run then stay and divorce

Anonymous · Answer

Men are not easily wanting to get into marriage as women do, we have to make sure we love and trust a woman with all our heart before making a big commitment.

For us it's not a fairytale to have a wedding and be married. It's not about security and being committed to one another.

For us to want to marry a woman is knowing that each and every time we see her it brings us joy through thick and think, knowing that you want to share every moment with them no matter what will happen in the future, the good times, the bad and ugly.

If we can see all the problems that we may face and it still makes us smile then she has captured our heart fully and that's when we what to propose.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If a guy is already getting all of the benefits without the legal commitments he is very likely to avoid it.

Others might avoid it due to divorce laws in their jurisdiction. I'm in this camp. Betting half of everything I have and part of my future earnings thereafter on the hope that she won't change her mind and blow it up in a decade does not seem like a reasonable risk to me.

Rangers · Answer

Because women file for divorce 70% of the time, and the number is only growing

Adding insult to injury, the woman takes at least half of everything he's ever owned, almost always gets custody of the kids, and happily skips away to the next man to do the same thing to him while the now ex husband can only lay there in sorrow

Googlemyahoo · Answer

I would say monetary reasons. Besides emotional its a massive investment that has the possibility of losing everything. I’d recommend people live together for a period of time before getting married. If you can’t live together there's no point getting married.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

There is no benefits to marriage for men. Only liabilities.
If someone offered you a business contract where you business partner could call it quits for any reason. Was 70% likely to do so. And when they pulled the plug they got half of all you assets even ones you had prior to forming the business. They also got 30 to 70% of your income in the form of alimony and child support. And if you for any reason could not pay that obligation you got sent to prison. Would you sign that contract?

Anonymous · Answer

There is zero point committing the rest of ones life, to a woman that has a high body count. And as we know, the majority of women in this culture have extremely high body counts. All women know this and it's why all of them lie about bodycounts.

AimeeKyle · Answer

Because women will take 1/2 if the marriage goes bad…. And if they have kids, it will be more…and you won’t get to see your kids often…. And after a few years, many women decide sex is unimportant to them or there isn’t enough time in the day…. the men either have to accept it or find other options.(you can talk about this until you are blue in the face while going out / before marriage….. and she will tell you what you want to hear).

Pudsmucker · Answer

Lot of women want to be control freaks in a man's life. Let him continue to do the things he did with his friends before he met you. Have good communications with each other and he'll stick with you forever. If you've got to be a control freak you've lost him already. Try sending a date night. And once a month have a guy night or he can be with his buds. Don't take his friends away like you don't want him to take your friends away. Again have good communications.

zagor · Answer

Because a failed marriage can be miserable, whether it ends in divorce or limps along. And the financial consequences can be devastating.

Not to mention it is extremely difficult to meet a good woman these days, especially if you're done with college.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Totally depends the country and culture.

Here in the U. S. for example divorce laws are ish.

Whoever has a significant amount more money which often are men will have to split their assets in divorce which I don't think it's fair at all.

Secondly, if a man isn't confident a woman is marriage material then they will be hesitant to marry.

smilelots · Answer

Its not a good idea to include all men or woman in a question.. and like the lady said below its a life changing decision for all.. men that want to get married will and that goes for woman as well.. just find one that suits you best , ask all the hard questions before saying yes to marriage.

Noah2023 · Answer

I’m Afraid of anything new and uncertain that I haven’t experienced before but that doesn’t mean that I would be running from it.

I’m a virgin by choice because indeed I want to get married to the right woman, so running isn’t the case here.

don’t you feel the same about uncertainty!

Anonymous · Answer

Nowadays, they are getting the opportunity to commit adultery without taking responsibility, so why did they start taking this responsibility? In marriage comes responsibility and they run away from taking this responsibility or they have to be faithful in marriage then they don't get variety.

Greenbean27 · Answer

A combination of
1. cost of wedding is expensive. The average wedding is a 30,000 dollars. And inviting everyone and setting up catering is a hassle.
2. If the marriage ends in divorce men are more likely to lose the house and custody of children
3. That level of commitment is terrifying. Something about being with one person for the rest of you terrifying.
4. Be unmarried is more common so the social status of being married. Is as useful to men as if was in the past.

Raaj4you · Answer

No, I am not afraid of marriage. I was not interested in dating and marriage. Suddenly, I got interested in dating and marriage. I am looking for a classy girl for marriage, it's fine if she is not perfect. I am ready to take the responsibility only if she is ready to listen me, understand me and my future plans.

strateguy632 · Answer

that is a generalization. rephrase why are those men who avoid commitment scared of marriage. mainly to avoid expectations and commitment some so they won't need ro "give half my stuff" reference jake in 2 half men.

Apple1996 · Answer

I think they are more scared of divorce then marriage

Hulk30 · Answer

Men ain't afraid of marriage or run from it to even think that respectfully if women who think that ain't gender feminist at the very least they're brain washed by the ideology of gender feminism and they don't understand how their desires that they project on to men actually affect em why would ya be quick to marry in north america with the way modern women are

Anonymous · Answer

Men have performed a risk/benefit analysis and decided that marriage/family life is not for them as they see no benefit in it for them, every thing about marriage is skewed against them, especially if they end up getting divorced, they have virtually no rights in Family Court, but are expected to pay for every thing, if they happen to win in their divorce it would be the exception to the rule.

Mimi_758 · Answer

Most of the guys are not ready for commitment and all of the things that come with marriage and are scared that it will not work out as they think it will :)

Berethor · Answer

70% of divorces are filed by women, and a lot of men lose a lot of money to gold diggers.

glennos89 · Answer

Marriage is a trap for men. It starts real nice and comfortable but eventually becomes real ugly and nasty when it doesn't work out in the end

bedroomeyes · Answer

They don't want to be held accountable. They focus on the divorce itself and not what happened to lead to the divorce.

tzdc21 · Answer

Because with the way the laws are set up and the number of divorces there are, and 80 percent of them are initiated by the women, marriage is not beneficial for men at all.

bushwookie · Answer

Because too many women have the ideology of wanting to break down guys trying to do good and be good to them, which in return makes guys turn heartless and not think twice about it after being shit on too many times.

Summeroflove · Answer

Marriage is a huge decision

normalice · Answer

The thought that we will miss out on additional ass is our deepest source of despair.

marish01 · Answer

If you give him everything why should he marry you? What can you give him in marriage that you don't give in dating?

SunnyLi · Answer

Not only men. I don't have any plan about marriage:)

Anonymous · Answer

Some men are afraid of leaving behind of all the potential women they could be screwing while others just fear the financial obligation especially if things were to end in divorce.

msc545 · Answer

It is not marriage we are afraid of so much as divorce.

Christoff92 · Answer

Things can change. Don't want it to be another marriage couple like so.

sheikalana · Answer

Many men say marriage is not beneficial for men as it is for women.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I don't think they're afraid, but maybe hesitant or careful.

Anonymous · Answer

Take a look around you. Look at the type of women that exist today. Virtually no women are capable of a lifetime commitment. It's simply a bad investment for a man today to marry. Most women will sleep with you without it.

aaron210419 · Answer

We're not, we're afraid of getting fucked by the courts in divorce

serious_miss419 · Answer

Because they are pessimistic. They want relationship benefits without the commitment and get defensive when called on it.

Emanon25 · Answer

They are not, you probably got that experience of wrong people.

AsaKyo · Answer

I'm a woman and even I'm afraid of marriage tbh

Why are men afraid of marriage?

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