I'm afraid of marriage because I don't think women believe in it anymore. I don't even think a majority of them are capable of doing what's required for one.
What people want now is to worry about themselves. And they want their partner to worry about them. Marriage is a partnership, commitment, loyalty.
I can't think of too many people who display those things.
What do people know about partnership when we live in a world right now with no forgiveness. We have a throw away culture right now where it's one wrong move and you're ostracized.
What do people know about commitment in a world where everyone's biggest concern is who screwed me over? And people are encouraged to find ways to say that a relationship their in is abusive and their a victim. In our world right now, there's an emphasis on focusing on the negative sides of a relationship and using them to devalue it. There's no thankfulness anymore
What do people know about loyalty when one of America's most beloved icons makes a terrible decision because he's in an abusive relationship, nobody has his back and everyone thinks that's just cool. We live in a world now where you could go to a restaurant for years and one sub pat meal there can mean the person never returns. Tell me how this world knows what loyalty is.
Fuck marriage, and fuck all the morons talking about it like it's something light. People ruin their lives every day because they want a party, they want a piece of paper, they want the status symbol or they got hooked on the fantasy of being happily married to someone.
Just like the relationship between man and woman, marriage is sacred. It takes a lot of work and both people need to put their feelings to the side sometimes to have one. Until I meet someone who shows me they understand and genuinely believe in these things, I'll just be out here getting laid.
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There's a lot of reasons
One thing I would like to know is that society today at least in the western world generally believes in the woman a lot more easily than they would believe in a man and they also have this idea that the woman has to be the better parent and the man obviously can't be so it could make you afraid of losing your child or having one cuz you just wind up paying money for a kid you might not see very often.
Also in recent history there's been a lot of cases where women have used marriage as a glorified piggy bank and have tried to rely off a man without providing anything to the household.
Divorce is another one because if you think about it in a lot of States if there's a divorce half your money goes gone half of all the things you own gone that includes your family house the business you worked on yourself your money your car everything gone.
And it's all happening in a world where trust is a lot harder to gain because a lot of people have been betraying trust especially recently so yeah
To sum it up are avoiding marriage because a lack of trust and while someone might not deserve that on the individual level there's been a lot of bad things happening involving marriage as of late and we've got to be more careful also you got to remember that a lot of men are broke these days at least comparatively speaking and so starting a family is becoming a lot more difficult we just don't have the economy required for us to just happily get married and reproduce without putting in years of consideration.
I think this issue belongs only to the US..
I’m from Eastern Europe and we don’t drag shit around. Max 1 year in a relationship you are married both man and women as a couple are very committed and man wants to take care of his family they want to show MORE and more love and caring.
Same goes to Asian man in general. China to India Pakistan Japan etc the whole Asia.
Of course I’m not saying all man are 100% as I say but in general it’s true. They are Pro ~Family and want to do their best to keep the family together.
US is a different story people here are tired majority don’t even know what’s the date today. Too Many issues crazy rent fee , too many bills , stress , depression ! Even giving birth in the US is roughly 30K I mean what else can I say… giving birth to an earthling human (this earth belongs to us ) and we have to pay 30K? What a scam out of US People. Yet Americans are so happy how a new Pepsi cherry flavor came to the market recently. They need to wake up.
I’m not saying American men are bad because I’m jumping for a topic to a different topic. Not at all. All I’m saying is that American Men are Traumatized! They can’t breath..
quite honestly, marriage is disadvantageous to most men. As a woman and if most women on here are honest we all know or have that girl friend that is looking for " the bigger better deal" which is her right as women our looks are highly valued by the opposite sex and I maintain that as women we are punished harshly for choosing our mates poorly. Men however are to unfairly punished for choosing poorly. 40ish percent of marriages end in divorce. Divorce courts are heavily biased toward women. Custody courts too and again if we are honest we all know that bitch that has used a mans kids to get back at him. It is also found that women are typically more likely to become unhappy in a relationship and initiate a divorce. Which suddenly entitles her to half her spouses shit if they are married longer than 5 years in most states. So it is not so much a fear of marriage but a fear of divorce that men harbor.
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Some guys reject marriage. That does not make them "afraid."
If they are afraid, it is because of the stories they hear. They are right to be scared after hearing those stories... BUT they focus on the problems and not the solutions. I have found the solutions to all marriage issues.
I do not fear marriage but I would never get a government involved marriage. My idea of marriage is a lifelong romantic partnership. Same idea but no papers. I want to create my own culture around my romantic relationship. I don't want to use some traditional model that clearly doesn't work in my opinion. I want to be creative. That's just what I want and it isn't due to fear. And those are not the solutions I was talking about earlier.
Whether one desires short-term romantic love or long-term, one has to experience it. I believe that. It is top 2 best things we have here on earth. Don't miss out. Focus on the solutions. You'll find them. They aren't that complicated either. Innovation rarely is.
I cannot fault guys for being scared though because the problems are VERY real.Not all men are afraid of marriage, but more and more do seem to be these days. The most common complaint is that far too many marriages end in divorce, and by and large it is women who file the vast majority of them. Divorce court and child custody settlements tend to strongly favor women and many women take full advantage of that. So men take a much larger risk than women in that respect. There are risks for women too, but different ones.
Men also tend to lose more than they gain whereas women tend to gain more than they lose, and the benefits of marriage to men are fewer today than in the past.
That said, a lot of us still are interested in marriage but are just a lot more cautious about it now and less likely to marry as early in life as our fathers might have.
The marriage rate in the US today is at its lowest in recorded history. There are a lot of social and economic factors behind that trend, but the declining appeal of marriage to men as a result of the above issues is certainly a big factor.Marriage quit honestly is one of the worse finical investments a person regardless of sex could make. There are serious legal consequences to marriage regardless of all the promises made and never kept... legally speaking it can be a debilitatingly disaster for anyone, especially with a partner who does not work or has excessive debt.
Marriage is a legal contract that literally does not ensure or hold anyone responsible for breaking oath or failing to fulfill the terms of the contract... but ensure finically someone will pay for it... even when there was not a equal investment in the marriage regardless of blame or fault.
So yeah, some can cheat, lie and steal from you... and then you have to split everything with them equally and pay them for years after the relationship ends. That's the law.some guys are afraid of marriage, commitment, women, children... who knows what else. that was me.
Why is long topic. I think it comes down to feeling low self worth and like I was't supposed to have a family, combined with fear of losing them.
for your guy, you will have to wade through the swamp of his emotions to figure it out, keeping in mindhe keeps large crocodiles around to keep people away from those hurt childhood emotions controlling his behavior.
If you can understand that paragraph, you have learned well.Because men don’t benefit as much, and have a hell of a lot more to lose then women…
Men lose:
Sex- usually starts going down after the honeymoon is over
Friends
Fun
Freedom
Money- especially if there are kids.. no matter how good he is with his kids and taking care of them.. they will take his money.
Men gain:
Companion- although sometimes disgruntled. And usually nags or complains.
House to a home- not usually, now a days home is more toxic than anything else because women get comfortable and lazy.
Women loses:
Freedom
Woman gains:
Security
Money
Protection
Resources- basically for life or however long the kids are little
Comfort
Stability
Power of sex- mostly on there terms
I mean. Marriage is just much better for a woman than a man. So of course men won’t like marriage as much. But men go through it, just to keep women happy.It's the divorce lot of them are scared of, not marriage. Heck, I am a woman and even I'm scared of getting married and my husband leaving me after some years and giving me divorce.
I'm not afraid of marriage because I trust in my selection of women. But what I hear from others is some women will be putting in effort prior to marriage, then stop post-marriage. Like suddenly she'll take less care of herself, or intimacy will die down. And at this point if marriage wasn't a factor the simple response would be to find someone new. But marriage complicates that. You have a legal binding, and in some cases your financial well-being is at stake. So if suddenly things do change, you're stuck at least for a period of time and you're going to have to jump through hoops just to get unstuck and unless I'm mistaken that could take years with the complications of divorce courts.
Many men are getting lots of sex out of wedlock and they do not feel compelled to marry females to get these sexual needs met.
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
They're also getting sex from other men (including trans women). It all boils down to loose morals, poor (or absent) male mentors, and no home training.They’re not afraid of marriage they’re afraid of divorce. So many men have seen their buddies get absolutely skinned alive by lawyers and judges. Although it’s gotten slightly better, men, especially fathers, are not treated equally in divorce and end up financially destitute and rarely if ever get to see their children. That’s just the tip of the iceberg in the interest of saving word space…I’m sure y’all can fill in the rest.
A man who is afraid of marriage is not worth your time. All the taken guys who hit on me are not guys who are married but are the ones who have kids with their girlfriends. be very very careful with a man who says "a marriage certificate doesn't make a difference to our happy relationship". These guys are the ones who will cheat on you the most.
Most likely the men your referring to tend not to see it as advantageous in a world with so many single women they can conquer and play.
Such Men who are most practiced/skilled/talented in picking up and playing women, are also the least inclined to want to commit to any one woman are precisely because they have had and have those skills/talents that open most women to them.
Look elsewhere for men at your age if he's not tying the knot he may not be interested in only you.It’s not about fear, more about the difference between male vs female interests. It’s in the interests of women to get married, it’s not in the interests of men. Women tend to treat boyfriends better than they do husbands, because as a result of the anti-male bias in divorce courts they have their husbands by the balls.
I wouldn’t say all men are afraid but I would understand if some if not most men would be cautious because of either legal system in divorce is stacked against men or that they might not be ready but the pressure from society / people around them is forcing them into a choice they’re not 100% ready for.
Cuz theh hear constant horror stories and realize Girl’s change , they become selfish and only really care about themselves , I am friends with a couple psychiatrists and they all Say girl’s today are the number 1 reason why divorce occurs , not saying guys are perfect but a majority of divorces occur from girls ,
Women are always like "Why you afraid?" "Why you intimidated"? Nobody is afraid. Nobody is intimidated. Why should I have anything to do with you when statistically you don't even actually like me and statistically you are gonna wait 5 years, file for divorce and take 1/2 my stuff and run off with another dude. Nope. Sorry. The numbers say that the juice ain't worth the squeeze. Stop saying men are intimidated when in fact they just have decent sense
I wouldn't call it "afraid" I would call it being careful. Its quite simple. If they marry the wrong girl. They lose everything they have. They lose their money, their reputation and when there are children involved, they even are forced to pay childsupport.
Because they see people like me who lost more than half of their assets and will pay more than half their income to their exes potentially for life, no matter how abusive the exes were. That said, I’m not afraid of marriage. I just got a lot more careful about it.
They see guys that are divorced living in the back of their cars or moving back in with their parents. The standard is that the judge finds out what the wife's total expenses were before the divorce and that is what the guy pays. He gets to live on what is left over.
When men don't want something women want, we're always "afraid" of it, right? Look, there's just nothing in it for us. We get extra bills, extra responsibilities, extra messes to clean up, and a wife who thinks we should answer to her for our every move. Which means extra arguments. No thanks
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