Why are men afraid of marriage?

Question

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

I'm afraid of marriage because I don't think women believe in it anymore. I don't even think a majority of them are capable of doing what's required for one.

What people want now is to worry about themselves. And they want their partner to worry about them. Marriage is a partnership, commitment, loyalty.

I can't think of too many people who display those things.

What do people know about partnership when we live in a world right now with no forgiveness. We have a throw away culture right now where it's one wrong move and you're ostracized.

What do people know about commitment in a world where everyone's biggest concern is who screwed me over? And people are encouraged to find ways to say that a relationship their in is abusive and their a victim. In our world right now, there's an emphasis on focusing on the negative sides of a relationship and using them to devalue it. There's no thankfulness anymore

What do people know about loyalty when one of America's most beloved icons makes a terrible decision because he's in an abusive relationship, nobody has his back and everyone thinks that's just cool. We live in a world now where you could go to a restaurant for years and one sub pat meal there can mean the person never returns. Tell me how this world knows what loyalty is.

Fuck marriage, and fuck all the morons talking about it like it's something light. People ruin their lives every day because they want a party, they want a piece of paper, they want the status symbol or they got hooked on the fantasy of being happily married to someone.

Just like the relationship between man and woman, marriage is sacred. It takes a lot of work and both people need to put their feelings to the side sometimes to have one. Until I meet someone who shows me they understand and genuinely believe in these things, I'll just be out here getting laid.

crossdressingrihno · Accepted Answer

There's a lot of reasons
One thing I would like to know is that society today at least in the western world generally believes in the woman a lot more easily than they would believe in a man and they also have this idea that the woman has to be the better parent and the man obviously can't be so it could make you afraid of losing your child or having one cuz you just wind up paying money for a kid you might not see very often.
Also in recent history there's been a lot of cases where women have used marriage as a glorified piggy bank and have tried to rely off a man without providing anything to the household.
Divorce is another one because if you think about it in a lot of States if there's a divorce half your money goes gone half of all the things you own gone that includes your family house the business you worked on yourself your money your car everything gone.
And it's all happening in a world where trust is a lot harder to gain because a lot of people have been betraying trust especially recently so yeah

To sum it up are avoiding marriage because a lack of trust and while someone might not deserve that on the individual level there's been a lot of bad things happening involving marriage as of late and we've got to be more careful also you got to remember that a lot of men are broke these days at least comparatively speaking and so starting a family is becoming a lot more difficult we just don't have the economy required for us to just happily get married and reproduce without putting in years of consideration.

cryscrys1 · Accepted Answer

I think this issue belongs only to the US..
I’m from Eastern Europe and we don’t drag shit around. Max 1 year in a relationship you are married both man and women as a couple are very committed and man wants to take care of his family they want to show MORE and more love and caring.
Same goes to Asian man in general. China to India Pakistan Japan etc the whole Asia.
Of course I’m not saying all man are 100% as I say but in general it’s true. They are Pro ~Family and want to do their best to keep the family together.

US is a different story people here are tired majority don’t even know what’s the date today. Too Many issues crazy rent fee , too many bills , stress , depression ! Even giving birth in the US is roughly 30K I mean what else can I say… giving birth to an earthling human (this earth belongs to us ) and we have to pay 30K? What a scam out of US People. Yet Americans are so happy how a new Pepsi cherry flavor came to the market recently. They need to wake up.

I’m not saying American men are bad because I’m jumping for a topic to a different topic. Not at all. All I’m saying is that American Men are Traumatized! They can’t breath..

theothersider · Accepted Answer

quite honestly, marriage is disadvantageous to most men. As a woman and if most women on here are honest we all know or have that girl friend that is looking for " the bigger better deal" which is her right as women our looks are highly valued by the opposite sex and I maintain that as women we are punished harshly for choosing our mates poorly. Men however are to unfairly punished for choosing poorly. 40ish percent of marriages end in divorce. Divorce courts are heavily biased toward women. Custody courts too and again if we are honest we all know that bitch that has used a mans kids to get back at him. It is also found that women are typically more likely to become unhappy in a relationship and initiate a divorce. Which suddenly entitles her to half her spouses shit if they are married longer than 5 years in most states. So it is not so much a fear of marriage but a fear of divorce that men harbor.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Some guys reject marriage. That does not make them "afraid."

DaySpring · Answer

If they are afraid, it is because of the stories they hear. They are right to be scared after hearing those stories... BUT they focus on the problems and not the solutions. I have found the solutions to all marriage issues.

I do not fear marriage but I would never get a government involved marriage. My idea of marriage is a lifelong romantic partnership. Same idea but no papers. I want to create my own culture around my romantic relationship. I don't want to use some traditional model that clearly doesn't work in my opinion. I want to be creative. That's just what I want and it isn't due to fear. And those are not the solutions I was talking about earlier.

Whether one desires short-term romantic love or long-term, one has to experience it. I believe that. It is top 2 best things we have here on earth. Don't miss out. Focus on the solutions. You'll find them. They aren't that complicated either. Innovation rarely is.

I cannot fault guys for being scared though because the problems are VERY real.

DudeDiligence · Answer

Not all men are afraid of marriage, but more and more do seem to be these days. The most common complaint is that far too many marriages end in divorce, and by and large it is women who file the vast majority of them. Divorce court and child custody settlements tend to strongly favor women and many women take full advantage of that. So men take a much larger risk than women in that respect. There are risks for women too, but different ones.

Men also tend to lose more than they gain whereas women tend to gain more than they lose, and the benefits of marriage to men are fewer today than in the past.

That said, a lot of us still are interested in marriage but are just a lot more cautious about it now and less likely to marry as early in life as our fathers might have.

The marriage rate in the US today is at its lowest in recorded history. There are a lot of social and economic factors behind that trend, but the declining appeal of marriage to men as a result of the above issues is certainly a big factor.

DaveJord · Answer

Marriage quit honestly is one of the worse finical investments a person regardless of sex could make. There are serious legal consequences to marriage regardless of all the promises made and never kept... legally speaking it can be a debilitatingly disaster for anyone, especially with a partner who does not work or has excessive debt.

Marriage is a legal contract that literally does not ensure or hold anyone responsible for breaking oath or failing to fulfill the terms of the contract... but ensure finically someone will pay for it... even when there was not a equal investment in the marriage regardless of blame or fault.

So yeah, some can cheat, lie and steal from you... and then you have to split everything with them equally and pay them for years after the relationship ends. That's the law.

lightbulb27 · Answer

some guys are afraid of marriage, commitment, women, children... who knows what else. that was me.

Why is long topic. I think it comes down to feeling low self worth and like I was't supposed to have a family, combined with fear of losing them.

for your guy, you will have to wade through the swamp of his emotions to figure it out, keeping in mindhe keeps large crocodiles around to keep people away from those hurt childhood emotions controlling his behavior.

If you can understand that paragraph, you have learned well.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Because men don’t benefit as much, and have a hell of a lot more to lose then women…

Men lose:
Sex- usually starts going down after the honeymoon is over
Friends
Fun
Freedom
Money- especially if there are kids.. no matter how good he is with his kids and taking care of them.. they will take his money.

Men gain:
Companion- although sometimes disgruntled. And usually nags or complains.
House to a home- not usually, now a days home is more toxic than anything else because women get comfortable and lazy.

Women loses:
Freedom

Woman gains:
Security
Money
Protection
Resources- basically for life or however long the kids are little
Comfort
Stability
Power of sex- mostly on there terms

I mean. Marriage is just much better for a woman than a man. So of course men won’t like marriage as much. But men go through it, just to keep women happy.

Genie23 · Answer

It's the divorce lot of them are scared of, not marriage. Heck, I am a woman and even I'm scared of getting married and my husband leaving me after some years and giving me divorce.

crmoore · Answer

I'm not afraid of marriage because I trust in my selection of women. But what I hear from others is some women will be putting in effort prior to marriage, then stop post-marriage. Like suddenly she'll take less care of herself, or intimacy will die down. And at this point if marriage wasn't a factor the simple response would be to find someone new. But marriage complicates that. You have a legal binding, and in some cases your financial well-being is at stake. So if suddenly things do change, you're stuck at least for a period of time and you're going to have to jump through hoops just to get unstuck and unless I'm mistaken that could take years with the complications of divorce courts.

Gigi2019 · Answer

Many men are getting lots of sex out of wedlock and they do not feel compelled to marry females to get these sexual needs met.

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

They're also getting sex from other men (including trans women). It all boils down to loose morals, poor (or absent) male mentors, and no home training.

PJH359 · Answer

They’re not afraid of marriage they’re afraid of divorce. So many men have seen their buddies get absolutely skinned alive by lawyers and judges. Although it’s gotten slightly better, men, especially fathers, are not treated equally in divorce and end up financially destitute and rarely if ever get to see their children. That’s just the tip of the iceberg in the interest of saving word space…I’m sure y’all can fill in the rest.

shaysh87 · Answer

A man who is afraid of marriage is not worth your time. All the taken guys who hit on me are not guys who are married but are the ones who have kids with their girlfriends. be very very careful with a man who says "a marriage certificate doesn't make a difference to our happy relationship". These guys are the ones who will cheat on you the most.

Finchie40 · Answer

Cuz theh hear constant horror stories and realize Girl’s change , they become selfish and only really care about themselves , I am friends with a couple psychiatrists and they all Say girl’s today are the number 1 reason why divorce occurs , not saying guys are perfect but a majority of divorces occur from girls ,

RagnarRedbeard · Answer

It’s not about fear, more about the difference between male vs female interests. It’s in the interests of women to get married, it’s not in the interests of men. Women tend to treat boyfriends better than they do husbands, because as a result of the anti-male bias in divorce courts they have their husbands by the balls.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

I wouldn’t say all men are afraid but I would understand if some if not most men would be cautious because of either legal system in divorce is stacked against men or that they might not be ready but the pressure from society / people around them is forcing them into a choice they’re not 100% ready for.

Wester1967 · Answer

Women are always like "Why you afraid?" "Why you intimidated"? Nobody is afraid. Nobody is intimidated. Why should I have anything to do with you when statistically you don't even actually like me and statistically you are gonna wait 5 years, file for divorce and take 1/2 my stuff and run off with another dude. Nope. Sorry. The numbers say that the juice ain't worth the squeeze. Stop saying men are intimidated when in fact they just have decent sense

Somoneelse · Answer

I wouldn't call it "afraid" I would call it being careful. Its quite simple. If they marry the wrong girl. They lose everything they have. They lose their money, their reputation and when there are children involved, they even are forced to pay childsupport.

RealMarek · Answer

Because they see people like me who lost more than half of their assets and will pay more than half their income to their exes potentially for life, no matter how abusive the exes were. That said, I’m not afraid of marriage. I just got a lot more careful about it.

exitseven · Answer

They see guys that are divorced living in the back of their cars or moving back in with their parents. The standard is that the judge finds out what the wife's total expenses were before the divorce and that is what the guy pays. He gets to live on what is left over.

JayParris · Answer

When men don't want something women want, we're always "afraid" of it, right? Look, there's just nothing in it for us. We get extra bills, extra responsibilities, extra messes to clean up, and a wife who thinks we should answer to her for our every move. Which means extra arguments. No thanks

jestergent · Answer

Afraid is the correct word for me, perhaps each mans opinion is different.

I'm afraid, fear, divorce.

Marriage is like a man buying stock. Divorce is like the stock crash. Lose everything and you have no control over it. You lost it the day you chose to buy the wrong stock.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Don't think it's only the men... I'm shit scared of it as well.
You hear so much crap about how married people ruin each other's lives in different ways. How tired they become of each other, starts stressing and more.

Nope. I'm terrified.

Anonymous · Answer

Most likely the men your referring to tend not to see it as advantageous in a world with so many single women they can conquer and play.

Such Men who are most practiced/skilled/talented in picking up and playing women, are also the least inclined to want to commit to any one woman are precisely because they have had and have those skills/talents that open most women to them.

Look elsewhere for men at your age if he's not tying the knot he may not be interested in only you.

RationalMale · Answer

Marriage typically offers very little benefits to men, while greatly increasing responsibility and liabiltiy.

Marriage also typically offers much benefits to women, while greatly increasing benefits if she voids the agreement and divorces the man.

BraveRiver · Answer

It’s fear of losing your stuff if it doesn’t work out.

If you’re honest what purpose does marriage serve? What does that piece of paper add to the relationship?

It only serves a purpose for the religious and to raise a family in a traditional manor.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

What benefits gives marriage to men?
It's just a simple calculation if a boy thinks about marriage, he can lose a lot and gain nothing. I guess with these pseudo equality developments in western societies amount of men who are "afraid" of marriage will increase in next decades.

Phoenix-gb · Answer

Not all are, the issue is the guys you are going after don't need to get married to get what they want out of a relationship. There are many men who still want that long term commitment but can't even get a date, let alone a long term partner.

True_Sage · Answer

Why won't guys get married? Women today have horrible attitudes - tho particularly if woke.

Many women are disloyal, shallow, easily offended, unable to compromise, entitled, hypocritical, painfully woke, easily brainwashed or peer pressured, and many falsely believe matriarchy is a good idea. This plus they have severe family law advantages.

HighValue · Answer

The courts help women steal from men during divorce. they take the house, car, savings, etc. that the man had earned.

If a woman won't agree to a prenuptial agreement before marriage, she is a thief. It's as simple s that.

godfatherfan · Answer

Why do women over generalize everything, and not put an explanation for ridiculous statements they make? If anything, I think men are much more eager for relationships and marriage then women are.

Desconhecida · Answer

A document that legally binds them and their life gains to another person - who may or may not be the right one - until their last breath. This is the answer. That's why.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

Men aren’t afraid of marriage per se, they’re afraid of any kind of commitment (speaking of men in the west). They also don’t like to buy a used car, that may divorce them and take half their assets.

Hulk30 · Answer

this has nothin to do with men bein afraid of marriage and if ya actually think past yourself and wantin the financial security that legalized marriage provides then you'll actually see between child support alimony and the inccentive that legalized marriage provides most women to act up you'll see there's no real benefits for men to get legally married

Tizzyt · Answer

I don't think men are more so scared, but just unsure. There may be things about you that he seen and he simply thinks you are not ready. It could spring down to how you talk to one another to feeling underappreciated the list goes on. So communicate don't rush and compromise and everything should work

Heiniken · Answer

One word: Divorce. Divorce laws are unjust and sexist against men. Fix the divorce laws and men will come back to the table for discussion on marriage.

ManOnFire · Answer

Are they? Women end marriages 5x more than the men do. So are women afraid of marriage? Or do they just get bored with it after their fantasies were fulfilled, or  un fulfilled?

invalid1 · Answer

Because women make it impossible... So many requirements, especially money! which is hard to harvest. They want a lot from a man to be a husband. plain truth

cth2188 · Answer

I wouldn’t marry anyone in this climate due to the fact they don’t value marriage and is too modern. Hook up culture and modern dating definitely soured the dating world.

backdoorman · Answer

Because half of marriages end in divorce, women file the majority of divorces and men tend to get screwed in divorce court and child custody disputes. Pretty simple, really.

bolverk · Answer

Men are not afraid of marriage, just wary, it depends if they meet someone they feel they are compatible with, but most men have performed a risk/benefit analysis and decided that marriage/family life is not for them at this moment in time.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

Marriage is a big commitment. Sometimes it's scary deciding that you want to be with a person forever

Lionman95 · Answer

Because it´s harder in modern times to find the "right" partner. In a divorce guys have more to loose so we aren´t keen to be married.

oralmajiq · Answer

I believe only some are and ultimately they are the ones that think they will have several different women in their lifetime instead of wanting to just settle down with one my opinion from that male perspective...

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because we see what has happened to so many other men before us. And women are afraid of marriage for the same reason. We have all seen bad relationships which end in divorce. No one wants that.

Guanfei · Answer

Because we lose in every aspects of it. Whether it's the married life, kids, or divorce, everything is in favor of women.
If tomorrow you decide to divorce, no matter the reason, your husband can lose everything, and even more.

ODC2112 · Answer

Men are not afraid of marriage. They are afraid of divorce and its consequences. Divorce laws are punitive towards men. Therefore, if you do not marry you do not divorce, and therefore you are not punished because they are man.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

"La Esposa" is the Spanish word for "wife". "Las Esposas" is the Spanish word for "handcuffs". That is a fitting illustration of today's marriages (also, look at Will Smith's marriage).

admles · Answer

Not afraid, cautious.

A lot of marriages end in divorce, majority are initiated by women, and men get screwed over in a divorce, women get all the advantages, and prenups are rarely legally enforceable.

Better_off_here · Answer

they are afraid of being tied down for life. they are afraid they will get tired of the same woman but not all men are like that i am not i would love to settle down and get married and have sex with the woman who i love.

SweedyPie · Answer

Wellll this question makes me wonder conversely, why do women seek marriage?

user1516 · Answer

Cause they want to f and that’s it. They have no brains. Unless they’re genuinely good gents then maybe they will marry.

DWornock · Answer

Most men want to get married but they are not the men women want to marry. Other men know that because of the laws and family courts, many of the advantages of marriage no longer exist.

Williams28Jao · Answer

We aren’t scared of marriage. Some guys simply are waiting for the right female.

Miristheiss · Answer

Divorce. Court ordered alimony, paying half of your assets to her... even your 401K... etc.

t-8900 · Answer

Go to Better Bachelor over or Tribe Report on YouTube and look ask that question

DownIndaDumpz2 · Answer

We not. It's like asking why are men afraid of going church on Sunday, we jus don't want to do such a pointless thing that is no benefit to us

xJayleenx · Answer

Probably attachment issues my boyfriend has never been like that though he even talked about getting married with me our first month together and having kids

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because there are no benefits and lots of downsides? Why are women afraid to sign a contract that says they have to give up their property and pay me $1000 a month if and when i say so? Duh.

Hanrej · Answer

Because marriage gives women power over men and all men fear the possibility of having their life wrecked.

Mangospacho · Answer

Not sure. I’ve been married 13 years and I wasn’t afraid of it. I did run into a few women who were afraid of marriage when I was dating, though.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Divorce, it cuts your net worth by 50% maybe more and you'll never recover

Why are men afraid of marriage?

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