I turned 25, and felt sad as I’d never had a boyfriend. Constantly getting involved with users, and overly sexual men, made me lose hope
until one day, I opened tinder to a message from a guy who was my exact type lookswise. He looked like Henry cavil! And looks aren’t everything , he had the most nice personality ever. He texted me non stop, loads of questions, super friendly and interested and in person this carried on.
though he had just moved to my country to start a new life. He was broke and in a low paying job and had no friends here, apart from me. He never planned dates, but we’d plan to see each other at weekends. He would come to my house and we would see what we wanted to do from there. We had so many wonderful laughs and it was so fun and amazing. But if a plan was needed, I was the one to make it. I was never treated to a romantic dinner or even a coffee. Still our connection was insane and wonderful and he was soppy, affectionate, sending me good morning texts every day, telling me he’s so lucky.
but a few months in, still no dates, and he seemed annoyed when I asked. He became very negative, criticising everything. He gave me evil looks one time when I asked him to reverse my car back as he was parked too far forward. We never argued but I was quite afraid to bring up my needs. One time he said I was manipulative like his ex when I asked him one of my needs. He still texted his exes as friends and mentioned them all the time, was annoying. He came to me for advice, I did a lot for himHe accused me of not understanding his sarcasm and me being bad at planning which he didn’t like, but I planned everything and it was hard work!
We became really distant and it was really painful. I cried a lot as I loved him. He dumped me on the phone after 6 months together, saying he was with me as he was lonely and never fell in love.
he never even texted me again, we never spoke again and I’ve always missed him. We had something good. I hope I didn’t ruin it.
What Girls & Guys Said
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I am really sorry this happened to you. I don't really think you can fix this. When I used to get dumped I used to tell myself that I found somebody once and I will find somebody again.
Sounds like he was never serious about you. And any guy that looks like some hot celeb probs isn’t tbh…
He was humble though. And his looks were fading. He put a lot of weight on and no longer cared about appearance, he stopped putting aftershave on. He seemed serious about me, hence the constant texting, and he talked about us maybe living together etc. He knew I liked him, I wonder what I did wrong.
He even told me I was the hottest girl he’s ever dated, saying things like ‘I like your small boobs, they are future proof’ and ‘never dated a girl with a thigh gap before.’ When we first met he also said ‘I know I’ve just met you, but I care for you so so much. I hope we move closer together soon.’
He never pushed for sex, said he was a lower libido man and preferred cuddles
Ask yourself this: would you rather have him without the dates you wanted and did not get, or be alone?
Next time you get a great man but he’s not perfect or doesn’t do everything u want, maybe just try being satisfied with that. Something men notice is that women are never satisfied. The more we give, the more you expect.
It’s not just a you thing, it’s a big problem with modern women. Maybe it wasn’t that though. Maybe he was just leading u on and in fact was never serious. Who knows. He said he was just with u cause he was lonely and was never in love tho, so I’d stop dwelling on this. It should be much easier for you to move on than someone like me whose ex dumped him and told him she loved him for the first time on that vid call, multiple times, and now won’t even speak to me on the phone. Says she is busy and hurt at how I reacted when I reached out for closure and she refused to speak to me the first time. I did guilt her out by telling her I was worried about her and making it clear how hurt I was that she wouldn’t give me one phone call when I needed it because I promised her I would give her one if she needed it.
He was finally honest with you at least. Take that and run. It’s over.
No I don’t want to be alone. I fear I will never feel it again for anyone else and he is the one. I was so so happy and I ignore the lack of dates up to a point. It was my friends who said it wasn’t normal and I should tell him so I did. I wasn’t so worried about the lack of dates rather I was worried he didn’t like me. I’m scared I’ll never move on. I adored him. The early days were the best time of my life and I felt so lucky. We clicked. He said the main reason for breakup is that I said I want kids in future and he’s not sure, but I felt it was premature of him to end it based on that as things can change.
That’s a huge reason to break up. You want kids he is unsure. And he said he wasn’t in love with u.
I know how tough it is…but “the one” wouldn’t break up with you like this. If he wants to come back he can try but the ball is in his court
And fyi, don’t listen to ur friends too much when it comes to romance. Women sabotage eachothers’ relationships all the time
So is he the only boyfriend you ever had?
Yes, I’m so ashamed, what’s wrong with me
I didn't have a girlfriend until later sadly, so you were only together 6 months?