It is okay to gaslight a little bit, correct?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

It's not me doing it.
My boyfriend..

[Telekinetic-Potato]

A guy I used to work for when I was 19 shorted me on a check so after a calm argument he asked if I was gaslighting him... Which gave me a moment for pause because he used to do this shtick all the time where he would short me and then go "oh, yea that's right, I forgot to include 3 weeks ago" After confronting him, even though the cash he was missing was usually something that happened a few days ago. And he'd play games with the "billing cycle"

Looking back, it taught me important lessons about business.

[Asker]

Whats the important lesson?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

To put it concisely, your reputation in business is your most valuable asset. Once people look at you as a scumbag, you'll always be one. In order to build a healthy relationship, you must have honor.

[Leapfrog00]

I have been with and around narcissists who used to gaslight me and sometimes other individuals. Trust me, it never ends well for either person. People are going to hate you, lose respect for you, and maybe even stop talking to you eventually.

I can understand if this is who you are. Everyone has different personalities. Just be careful. If you're doing it because you're forgetting who you are, maybe work on yourself and try to find out why you have the need to do it. But trust me, it NEVER ends well!

[Leapfrog00]

Don't let him do this to you. It is going to drive you crazy and eventually you're going to forget who you are. He will bring out the worst in you. This is not OK for someone to do. I would say tell him to stop but people who do this usually don't listen, so you'd probably be wasting your breath. I'm sorry he did this to you. No one deserves this.

[Asker]

Thanks. I've gotten to the point where he can no longer get away with things like this. I'm looking for a way to escape

[Ms_Facesitter]

Incorrect, but you do you. Just don't go crying when it happens to you or worse.

[Siri137]

No, incorrect! It's manipulative, and therefore wrong.

[ohsheeT]

I don't even know what that means the only gas light I know is when we were 12 years old sitting on the top of the barn and a friend drops his pants raises his legs up in the air lights lighter down by his ass and a bright light of gas coming exploding out that's the only kind of gas light I know they're stoplight or spotlight there's bright lights I don't know anything about no gas light

[Effably]

As a rule no but I can see it.

We are all effectively gaslighting children. "Be good and Santa...". "The candy stores only sell candy on the weekend!" So on. "I am going to eat this delicious broccoli if you don't!". That is all accepted and all gaslighting.

However once someone is old enough to evaluate their own decisions, no.

[Anonymous]

Just be certain they're actually gaslighting you and that you're not just actually wrong.😆

[Asker]

He's done it too many times for me to not be certain about this. And trusting myself is better than questioning myself. Thank you

[Opinion Owner]

It's never OK to gaslight. But do what you like hun.
Most women like guys to "lead" but then don't like how some guys lead. I would NEVER stay with a woman who constantly disrespected me. Nor would I expect a woman to stay with me if I constantly disrespected her. If you truly feel gaslighted then MOVE ON. This is what drives guys nuts. You women many times want what you want. But you want it from who you want it from. And that's just not always realistic.

[Jazzy54]

No. Why would you want to cause someone to doubt their sanity?

[CreatingWonders]

It’s never ok to gaslight someone it’s narcissistic and an awful thing to go through.

[nolabels]

What the hell?

[slatyb]

How do you gaslight "a little bit"? It's not ok.

[In_Trance]

As long as you're ok with someone doing it to you

[Kaneki05]

How?

[Jamie05rhs]

No. It's not.

[shortster]

Nope