Does taking it slow mean friends?

[Anonymous]

Hello!

Went out on our first date which did go well, touch barrier were broken, laughed a lot and had a flow etc.

But now for our second 'date' she said she wants to go out as friends?

Can a girl say "let's go out as friends", just to cool off the progress, and wants to take it slower? Maybe in this case because she just going through a breakup from long relationship.. today it was 3-4 months since her last breakup.

Yes, girls can put you temporarily in friendzone, just to slow down, but still interested?

No, you're in Friendzone, nothing more.

Updates

10 mo

Kinda like the outcome from my poll.
Only girls says they temporarily friendzone someone.
And they guy is straight on.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No…to me, taking it slow means I’m interested in seeing where it can go, but I want to take time to really get to know you before getting serious or intimate..

unless they say start as friends and see if it develops into more… But that you went out once and then she said go out as friends, sounds like she may just want you as a friend nothing more.. Best thing would be to ask her because any answer on here is just an opinion or what we think it sounds like, only she can give you the real truth about if she wants to be just friends or something more…

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

And maybe you should look at your poll again… 6 girls/3 guys voted yes (so there were guys that said it could be temporary) and 3 girls/ 8 guys voted no (so there were females that said it wasn’t)🤷‍♀️

[Asker]

ik.. and this question is mostly for girls tho.. guys are as me, "oh a word friend", lets flee the fotballfield.

But since I wished her all luck but open to reconnect... I'm now stuck on how to "reconnect" to see what her intension were...
How do I even start of "Hi there, had a good weekend?", right after a "wish you all good luck" .. sounds weird, doesn't it?

[Asker]

Or maybe I shouldn't reconnect, maybe I should wait for her to reach out, but that depends of course how interested she is, and as time goes "were" .. and never more.. Feels my chance running out by time, since she might will have more time to second thought about my fleeing dission.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I think people worry too much… If you like her, tell her… If you doubted or were unclear where things were going, explain that… the most she can do is make it clear… and even if it’s not what you want to hear, isn’t that better in the long run than wasting time or second guessing things?🤷‍♀️

[Asker]

Doesn't feelings scare away girls?
Thought mystery and showing subtle signs more interesting, but of course showing your intentions, instead of being upfront..

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No I think most people, male or female want someone that’s upfront with them…

[BeeNee]

If you have no intention of being a friend or being in the friend zone with this girl and wasting your time, best speak up now and ask about it. Tell her how much you enjoyed the first date and how you'd like to date her and are not looking for another friend. If she restates her intention that there is no future for you, then you move on before any feelings get hurt. You can't assume she just needs time and she'll get over the ex.

[Asker]

Already said I appricated our first date and let's book our next date on a weekened.
But 1-2days later after first date she mentioned date. Therefore I wished her good luck (marked as I don't want to be friends)..
But thinking about how the date went, (But without the kiss tho, but i'm not the kisser on the first date if everyhing is right, like she's reaching out intentionally/uninentionally to touch etc. I'm more than happy to let her get used to me in her comfortzone instead, and bring the lips-thingy to maybe second date), it feels like she's just her her "friend"-word behind "taking it slow" .. but I don't know.. Many guys says you say friends by meaning friends...

[EricSummer]

As the first date went well and she agrees to a second date I would go for it regardless of what she calls it. You wrote that you exchanged some touches already, so just keep it up. Maybe you can soon kiss.

It is possible that she wants to take it slow. I think if she really wanted to be "just friends" she would probably not want to meet so soon. It would be more of an excuse. My guess is that she wants to meet "off the clock" so that you do not expect sex as soon as the counter reaches the fourth date.

[Adam1978]

Taking it slow doesn't mean rejection, but going out as friends is certainly it. You failed and you are degraded to a position, where you should just sacrifice your interests for hers but not get the price.

[Asker]

Yeah I know, but in consideration of her pretty fresh breakup, maybe she used "friends" as taking it slow? Of course she would mention that instead but... But that's just me, i'm not her and she might use "friend" as putting me on the bench for a short while, until she's ready.

[siseñor]

Not to me, no. I loved one guy a lot, but it was my first relationship, so I asked to start off as friends. Everybody has their individual paces. It doesn't mean that they love you any less, it just means they are taking the time and space to make sure that the relationship is healthy.

[Asker]

This aren't her first relationship, maybe her second. Her first were already from high school, and now she's 29F

[siseñor]

Yeah, my reason is self-specific, she'll probably have her own. If she's only in her second relationship at 29 though, then that's a clue to something - but u need to make the call using your own judgement, none of us actually know her.

[Asker]

I assume none knows her or know exactly what she thinks, and I'm glad that you share your point of view, that's why start this thread.

Everyone is diff, everyone might see "friend" from different perspectives from their individual situation, and that's why maybe someone out there might recon some of her situation and help me to a conclusion.

[siseñor]

I see, I hope u reach that conclusion sir 😸

[Asker]

Ms :)

[Paris13]

She doesn't Want to Make you a Rebound so Wants to Slow it Down. Go with it or Not for Now... xx

[Asker]

My thought too, she's maybe on the heal-path, and wants me to put me on the shelf for a short while.. But to many ears "friends" mean "friends" .. But according to how date went, and there wasn't not just "friends atomsphere", everything by the book for a second date... that's why i'm pretty confused.

[Paris13]

Go Slow with Any Date. xxoo

[Screenwriter]

No way to read through this except by asking. Your rating of the date might have been completely different than hers. AND, there is that breakup issue.

Maybe you should just cut bait right here and find someone else who has not had a recent breakup. I don't think this bodes well. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks for answering.

Asked her on Tuesday, and she said she were interested in someone else. I guess either she was a serial-dater or she haven't really let go from her Ex. She felt the vibes but wasn't really ready.
Either way, i left with a message that she can reach out when she's ready.

[Screenwriter]

She simply wasn't interested in you. It's strange you ignored what she said and left a message to "reach out" when she was "ready." She WAS ready. With someone else. You need to work on hearing what women say. Will save you time and energy. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

It often means she wants to get to know you first before committing. It has zero to do with you or her sleeping with other people. Guys always jump off ship at this point and when guys jump away, it shows the female that the relationship wouldn’t have lasted because he didn’t get his way. She doesn’t wanna guy that runs off.

[Asker]

So you could use "Let's be friends", just to continue meet up, but you're actually open for more.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes duh but guys just run off

[TacosRAwesome]

Taking it slow is different from friendzoning someone. Also some people prefer having a friendship before dating someone. Basically, it's all possible but you need to see her history first and open yourself to other options.

[Asker]

What do you mean with "see her history"?

[TacosRAwesome]

If most of her relationships started from friends / progressed slowly she's probably being honest. If not then take what she's saying with a grain of salt.

[Asker]

Oohkay, according to her and her Ex (guy from high school), it took 3 years until they wind up into a relationship.
Which last til 4months ago.

To sum it up, 8-9 years of relationship plus 3 years of "dating". I guess she were "playing around" and didn't want to commit, but when she graduated she might second thought about that guy in high school or something... she's today 29yrs.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a 500 days of Summer situation. You could not be permanently friendzoned but it doesn't look good.

[Sparkie460]

She wants to go slow to build on the relationship. She wants to get to know you a lot better

[Anonymous]

It means I want what we got, but I'm going to keep f***ing other people.

[DextroShade]

Ghost her and move on