The norm for me could be anywhere between 1-3 months. I have to scope out the dude and see what I’m getting myself into. I miss school because it was easier to see how people carried themselves in class/on campus before agreeing to go off somewhere with em. I don’t go to church as much anymore but work and worship are also good spots to get a read on a person. On the plus side, you don’t have to scope em out as long nor tell them you’re interested just yet because you’re getting to see the classmates, coworkers, and congregation in person weekly. Now of course we also come across people temporarily at malls, sporting events, grocery stores, gas stations, bars, clubs, libraries, online, etc. Because we don’t technically know them yet, the read takes longer. This is where texting, phone calls, and video chats often come in. In this case, I definitely do the 1-3 months. But its more nervewrecking because someone has to admit they’re even interested in order to even get to know one another. Anyways, do you try to interact with a person for some days/weeks/months first, or do you like to cut to the chase and date a perfect stranger?
Immediately. Going on dates is how you get to know someone.
I wouldn't just walk up to a complete stranger and ask her on a date. We would have to at least chat for a while and get a read on each other. And then a first date would be more like asking if they would like to get some coffee or breakfast sometime.
If they are not interested or sociable enough for that, no prob. I'm not going to waste time doing impersonal things like texting forever. Why would I even be interested enough in them at that point to do so?
I don't need to know their entire life history before simply chatting with them in person in a safe, public setting.
Then again, I grew up at a time when people didn't use "devices" to create barriers.
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Depends on how much time we spend texting and talking to each other. If we talk every day, even for a few minutes, it will take me less time to get to know someone. So it would be around two weeks in that scenario. The less we talk, the more time I'll need. But, it's usually no more than a month. Because, if you don't talk regularly, and it's always you that initiates contact, that means the other person isn't interested.
So I need to personally know the person in person to even have any kind of attraction to them. I couldn’t like someone I met online just by looking at a picture of a hot guy. I need to see them physically in front of me and feel a spark first. Besides you could see a photo of a hot guy online and he could have terrible hygiene and smell awful or something.
I also need to know that the person is serious about getting married before going ahead with anything. I’d take a good three-six months to vet the person and ensure they’re compatible with me and on the same wavelength, and that I can trust them before going out with them.
Until their background check comes back and we vibe well
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I can find somebody attractive very quickly but trust usually takes miles of time to become real but once trust and desire are built, I’m ready to date.
Taking 3 months to actually accept going on a date with someone is insane girl lol if the vibes are well, within a week I’m going on a date with them.
As a guy you don't have a long window to make a move and ask a woman out if she interests you. We need to make a move quick both with intent to ask out and when it comes to pushing for something intimate. Each time we delay and put it off the less potential we have to be seen as a potential boyfriend and more as a friend.
If we try to date a woman who wantsbto just play the friendly vibe or try to see if we have potential in her eyes, we view it as lack of interest on her end amd we have more of a chance to just talk ourselves out of her liking us. So no. We make the move within the first day of meeting them or second time seeing them. No time to fuck around for a month as a guy lest you want it to backfire.
I do think church is a better place to get a good read on someone. It's a place where people can let themselves be vulnerable, can show a lot of sfter sides than school where friends are watching and you know the vibe changes. I'd say like a couple hours worth of actually talking spread through however many days is usually enough to determine how genuine they are. Especially these days there's very clear telling just in how girls talk. If they talk normally then thats almost enough of a plus to warrant a date asking but only if there's some sort of unique clicking we got going already.
Just to go out on a date? I don’t need to have known her for longer than it takes to smile at each other and say hello. I mean, normally I’d known her for a little longer than that, but I will absolutely ask for a date from someone I just met if I think she’d be receptive. I can get to know her on our date. That’s what dates are for.
I expect it to be much faster. Aren't we supposed to evaluate that someone is fuckable in 5 seconds or less of meeting them? I grant relationships are a bit more than sex juices.
My hopes will last about a month max, peaking then falling. After that I will have sister'ed the girl. A couple of girls have dug themselves out of sister status subsequently but I have a degree of wariness about them.
Isn't the going out a part of the getting to know them? I understand you don't want to go on a date with someone you haven't talked to before but talking with them a dew times is all it takes to go grocery shopping with them. Yes! Grocery shopping is a good way to get to know someone. You see their most unexpected self. Waiting in line to check out, do the grab the sports illustrated or the Martha Stewart magazine? Do the talk about the other shoppers and the way they are dressed? Do they shop for name brand or go for the cheep stuff? Do they go straight for the meat department or the alcohol? Or half way through do they go to the car and wait on you to finish?
If they make it past the grocery store then for a second get to know one another maybe try cooking a meal together... Here is where you find out if he can cook or if he expects you to cook two meals. One for you and one for him because he doesn't eat what you do...
As a general rule, I think it's best not to hesitate if you want to assure that he/she is not going to get taken. However, I know there are definitely times when it just doesn't feel like the right time and place. For me, 1-3 is fine, but anything more than that is stretching the limit. I am not opposed to waiting, but I think that's generally a mistake.
I don't really have the luxury of scoping someone out. My life is so transient that the majority of the people I see on any given day I never see again. So any interaction with anyone is rare. But when I do interact with women, how long I scope them out is generally inversely proportional to how physically attractive they are. If she ain't at least a 7, then I really need to talk myself into taking things further, which can take months to years. Suffice to say, things do not progress.
Typically try to set up a date that same week or the latest next week, I learn way more about a woman in person than any phone call or text, and from my experience the phone is best used just for setting up the date, if i get some lame excuse more than once, I know she's full of it and just move on.
It depends on how much you learn or noticed how you both are either getting along or not with the friendship you both have at the present moment. If it's good then ask and respect that answer wether it's good or bad. Cheers! Lol 😃
I never had a plan for that. For me it depended on the situation. Sometimes months (if we started out as friends) sometimes a day , if I just met the person and there was a connection
Dessi, I've been in bed with someone the first time I met them, "hay, how are you? Wanna F?" Seriously though its been under two hours.
Depending on how well she presents herself. Don't do well with girls having hot head attitudes, even perfectionist thinking they know everything. B*littering my own knowledge and intelligences 😕
I have no time stamp or deadline. As long as it takes? Two weeks of talking and I already thought, yes she's awesome!
For me personally, it all depends on the vibe, if the vibe matches I can be Ted Mosby and if it doesn't match I can by Barney Stinson.
45 seconds, kuz you can't know until a longer meeting, so get to know at a better time
I say at least a month if I really like to get in a relationship with them but if still little unsure it might be another month or two.
It's not about the number of days passed. It's about the number of minutes you've spent with them. So that really depends how intentional she is about participating in the conversation.
When I was dating I just asked women out right away. I'd take her on dates 3 or 4 times a week so I can get to know her.
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