Is waiting for a guy you are in love with to be ready a waste of time?

Question

He says he loves me but needs 6 months to get his goals accomplished before we are official. I have six months of grad school left so waiting isn't the worst idea but I wonder if this is just delaying my heartbreak.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Sounds like he's just playing games l, or hoping by that timeframe you get bored and move on-

If a guy really wants you, he makes time and prioritizes you!
For example, I work with residents. Some of them barely see their spouses or partners because they do long shifts for weeks at a time-

They still make it work. They don't tell their partners, "Oh I'll date or marry you after I finish my residency!" Please...

Girl, find yourself a man that prioritizes you without making up excuses!

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

Unless he very clearly stated he is willing to give you a ring in 6 months and that's what "making it official" means to him, it's a waste of him.

A guy like that will put himself first and drop you when it's inconvenient to be in a relationship.

Do you want to waste a year on someone before they decide if they actually date you?

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

what are the goals he's trying to accomplish? how would dating you prevent him from reaching those goals?

if he can sufficiently answer those two questions then perhaps you could wait but it seems to me saying someone has to wait 6-months is more of a way to string someone along, keep your options open for something else, etc.

rukus88 · Accepted Answer

He is taking time to say goodby to his old life before giving his everything to you. relax, its only 6 months

AviatorTom · Answer

He gave you a definite time scale, and a reason why he's not ready yet... that is good, bordering on excellent that he doesn't want to be a burden in your relationship. If you love him and see a future with him, waiting is a good idea. The choice is yours!

OlderAndWiser · Answer

"Being official" just means that he is then willing to admit to the rest of the world that you are dating? That's a silly game. If he doesn't want you now, then he really doesn't want you. Period.

knallpilz · Answer

I didn't vote for either option. Because that would be a matter of actual foresight. As in, like, actually looking into the future.

The only thing you can go off in a situation like this is ask yourself how much is he worth? And what risks are you willing to take to get what you want?
Don't hope. That'll just lead to pain. Because you're trying to control something you can't control.

Think about if waiting for another 6 months is an investment you're willing to make to either get him or having wasted 6 months of investment, not knowing which it will be.

I don't doubt his intentions, but he can't see the actual future, either. Don't rush the decision and listen to your gut.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Im confused as to why he can’t multitask and keep a girlfriend while in school? I've been down this road before but wouldn’t go down it again because I’ve met people who can multitask and wouldn’t revert back to someone who can’t balance love/work/school. If you’re both in school then you’ll both give eachother time to study and whatnot, so I don’t get why he’d need you to wait 6 months unless he feels horrible not giving you 100% of his attention 🤷‍♀️

SarahS98 · Answer

Yes you can't just wait for the guy to be ready. If you waste time for a man to be ready, that's your good years getting wasted that you'll never get back. He can still have time for both his goals and having you in his life. People have done multitasks before.

molonski2 · Answer

Highly unlikely that he will work to a time frame like that , just move on , dont hinder yourself with timelines , you don't know what you are missing in the meantime , anyone who creates " 6 months and I will be ready " , is just string you along.

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Are you guys dating meanwhile? Is he being affectionate? Is he going on dates with you?

Does he express wanting to be official with you rather than just agree to your request? Has spending time with him made you feel he lives you or did he profess love?

After answering these questions you can know.

Kaamraj · Answer

Normally when a man really loves a woman and needs some time then he will offer something which is intermediate, e. g. an engagement, or a promise ring or will clearly spell out a time table and what exactly he needs to get done. But if he's being evasive or nebulous about what he's doing and how much time he needs then he's not so committal. Moreover, time is not on women's side so much as it is for men.

Anonymous · Answer

@sassyredhead He's saying he doesn't have time for you... You don't need time to commit... Is he committed after the 6 months or is he planning to make a decision after the 6 months?

Anonymous · Answer

Waste of time. The classic “I’ll be ready in 6 months” trope. There’s no such thing as perfect timing for a relationship. Either you want it, or you don’t. Sounds like he thinks he can find someone better than you, so he’ll search for 6 months and if he can’t find someone better, he’ll settle for you because why wouldn’t he? If he’s been able to string you along for 6 months, then he’s got someone just waiting by.

MackBoy · Answer

I have my girlfriend who is waiting for me to come to Canada since 2021 and she is still patient because she loves me a lot. by this year I will be going to Canada. if he is not giving money for your expenses and doesn't show interest in you, you have the right to leave him. my girlfriend didn't leave me because both of us are loving each other. if he is loving you and cares for you, then it is worth waiting for him

nawtee_me · Answer

I’d love not worth waiting for? If he makes excuses after six months then move on. Don’t look at it as waiting for him. Instead look at it as finishing up what you need to do to be ready for what’s next. What is next may or may not be him but you need the time to finish your getting ready as well.

DermalPunch · Answer

Men don't let women they really want get away. He's playing you, most likely.

Olytxx · Answer

I really don’t know a lot about what goes on in a man’s mind. But one thing I will always stand by is ‘if he wanted to he would’.
I’ve never met a man who would do absolutely everything to be with the woman he lives and if he didn’t then he isn’t in love.
Always pay more attention to his actions and not just his words

Boomchakalaca · Answer

I would wait but he has to be extremely good looking and top tier personality to be waiting 6 months for.  Otherwise, id cut my loses with an average joe

slatyb · Answer

"Official" WTF does that even mean? What does he plan to do in those six months? Either he's with you or he isn't.  Time and tide wait for no man, and neither should you.

Anonymous · Answer

Its an excuse. He doesn't wanna commit. A guy who truly wants you and values you wouldn't wanna “wait six months” lol. He would wanna be committed to you no matter what’s going on in his life. Typical bullshit excuse tbh.

JoyGirl · Answer

Idk…I mean, we can’t exactly say, because we don’t know how he told you. Did he make it clear that something will happen in 6 months?  Keep your options open, just in case.

krin_m · Answer

Unless you have a concrete reason to doubt him, it is worth the wait. six months is a short time.

Anonymous · Answer

hey you can still accomplish goals while you're in a relationship. what he is giving you is an excuse. that 6 months will keep getting extended. don't waste your time.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Six months is not that long. I think he’s sincere.

Anonymous · Answer

Someone needs 6-months to call you his girlfriend? LMAOOOOOOOO!!! 🫵😂 Women like you embarrass me. You embarrass all women.

Nikki1989 · Answer

He is just playing games with you. Move on.

princessxx2 · Answer

I guess give him 6 months post that if he delays more break up lady! You deserve better!

JesseP1nk · Answer

Do you know what those goals are? How does those goals prevent dating you? So i think he is full of shit. Im afraid after those 6 months he gives you another bullshit reason.

RavVid · Answer

Take him at his word. It is good character on his part.

MementoMori777 · Answer

so because you have school he can't commit? sounds dumb dont it?

mommymommymommy · Answer

seems a bit coincidental, doesn't it. He says he's waiting 6 months, and you only have "6 months of school left". I mean come on dude

BigRed1987 · Answer

That sounds fishy to me. If I didn’t screw my last relationship up, I would never have told my girlfriend that…I’d want to be with her no matter what, through hell fire and all that

Raaj4you · Answer

If you are in love with him, tell him. If the feeling is mutual, then discuss your future plans. If you both are serious then get engaged. You both may change your minds after 6 months.

Jazzy54 · Answer

In six months, he could meet someone else and start a relationship immediately. Move on.

Christoff92 · Answer

Just come and see the handsome devil 😉

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think you should wait on anyone, at anytime, EVER. This goes for women AND men.

In_Trance · Answer

The only thing he needs 6 months for is to rail other girls

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, he's wasting your worthy time that you could spend in some other worthy tasks

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

First let me ask this is he aware that your waiting for him

ArabellaLady07 · Answer

Yes, it's a waste of time. From experience talking here.

Mazidigs · Answer

He wouldn’t let you get away if it was a lock it in situation.

Spongebobssocks · Answer

Wait! Trust me!

Flower7 · Answer

Sounds like he’s stringing you along.

RHK36 · Answer

Are y'all waiting for sex too?

Anonymous · Answer

He’s keeping his options open.

Minahh · Answer

Move on it's just a fairytale

Alex8736 · Answer

Don't chase just replace

Anonymous · Answer

All depends how much you like him

BobLouis · Answer

Ask him.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes...

Is waiting for a guy you are in love with to be ready a waste of time?

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Is it worth waiting for someone who has feelings for you but is not ready for a relationship because the timing is not good?

Is waiting for a guy you are in love with to be ready a waste of time?

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Is it worth waiting for someone who has feelings for you but is not ready for a relationship because the timing is not good?

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