Is it worth waiting for someone who has feelings for you but is not ready for a relationship because the timing is not good?

[sheikalana]

Let me know your opinions and experiences down below.

[TruthBringer]

Objectively speaking, the answer is no. Their feelings are irrelevant to the bigger picture. Let's take a look why:

1. Feelings can be built with anyone. So that person might have feelings for you, doesn't mean someone else won't be able to have these feelings for you either.

2. The feelings that person has for you does not guarantee compatibility in case they ARE ready for a relationship. So in other words, you can still have feelings for each other, but the relationship can still fail (like any other relationship that failed where feelings were involved). So you would wait all this time only to find out your time was wasted on someone who ended up not being "the one".

3. Time. Why would you waste your time waiting for that person when you can build something with someone else who IS ready? If you are truly 32 as your profile says, with all due respect, you don't have the luxury of waiting if you actually want to start a family.

4. They may knowingly or unknowingly trying to keep you on the leash instead of letting you find your opportunities elsewhere out of their own selfishness.
So my advise would be, if you truly have to stay in contact with this individual, at least try to keep an emotional distance. You want to keep your options open. Who knows, there might be someone who crosses your path who IS ready to be in a relationship with you. You're not obligated to wait for someone to come around.

So in short: keep your options open for other people.

[224466881010]

Sometimes unfortunate timing is just that: unfortunate.

If someone isn't ready for you, you shouldn't have to pay for that. There are plenty of people out there who would be great for you.
If they "get ready" in the future and you're both available, then great. There's also no reason why you can't keep in contact with them in the meantime while they're "getting ready".

Waiting for a person in the short term can also be risky because it sets a bad tone and there's no guarantee the person will ever be ready for you or that the person just has mental issues or is just a coward. Waiting for someone doesn't necessarily mean you're a chivalrous person or you're kind in any way. It could also communicate that you don't have options but to wait for someone's nebulous promise, or that you're kind of dumb.

I'd be extremely suspicious about someone who asked me to wait for them. I'd tell them that they would have to show me what their problem is, how they're gonna get over it and show me that they're honestly trying to make progress. And even then, I don't want to be someone's self-development supervisor. It's just messy in my opinion.

[aintnocandle]

I’d weigh what the reason is for why it isn’t good timing and see if it makes sense on their end or not, and if I feel I’d make the effort to make it work then I wouldn’t wait and I’d move on (speaking from experience). I want someone who dates and loves the same as me. If they are finding ways of which it is bad timing but I see all the ways it can work then that’s a sign we are incompatible. It doesn’t matter if they have feelings. It doesn’t matter if you have feelings. Feelings change once you let go of the story. There’s so many people out there that will be ready and give you as much as you would.

Also depends on how much you know them and how long you’d be waiting for. There are a lot of variables but from my experience I wish I wouldn’t have waited because I realized it didn’t change anything and it was just postponing the fact we weren’t compatible and he didn’t feel enough for me, or loved the same way I do.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the reason and also if he looks like he’s actually making an effort to “be ready”. I personally get turned off once I hear the words “I’m not ready” and I end up questioning if I really do want to be with him, but that also means that I’m also not ready and is not sure about what I want. So I usually give it some time (a couple of months) to really figure out what I want from him while giving him some time to get ready.

[DonkeyDan]

Not everyone that says that have feelings for you but it's not a good time right now is telling the truth, sometimes it's just a nice way of saying, your a really great person and I kind of fancy you but I don't really want a relationship with you. If they do mean it there is no guarantee that they will come round to being ready for a relationship, depending on the reason as why there timing isn't good. Like they have gone through a bad breakup, some people can take a long long time to recover from that kind of thing, and there you are waiting and waiting for something that may never come.

[ohshee]

I don't know if your car says empty on gas should you keep driving it if you go swimming and you have a booger hanging from your nose should you just leave it there until you're done swimming if you have to pee should you just hold it until you pee your pants I don't know what any of this means but no because they might not ever be ready

[globetrotter22]

While this tragically happens you shouldn’t hold your breath. Also this person might fall in love with someone else or just lose their feelings for you.

Just leave it open ended. You do your thing while they do yours. Expecting a guaranteed relationship in the future is not like waiting for Christmas to come around. Sure the romantic love story makes life more intriguing but unfortunately this doesn’t mean it will happen. Human beings, attraction and the dynamics of a relationship are unfortunately very messy.

[nice-girl]

Of course not. They aren't ready? What does that mean?
I would wait however, if he had to go to another country for work or studies. But in that case we would be in a relationship.
But not wait a year because they were not emotionally ready.

[Nomina]

Nope. I've been there and nah, I'm not waiting for anyone who doesn't know what they want, isn't ready yet, it's not the right time, blah blah blah.

I waited a looooong time while he still had flings and hookups, etc.

Not happening.

[Dominique95glee]

It depends on how long you already been waiting and I would but if the felling fears because of waiting than it maybe wouldn’t of worked out anyway only way waiting would be good if the feeling become stronger

[Anonymous]

No.. not as in waiting around since the person might never would actually be ready and want to be with you when that time comes.. I'd advise to let go instead and if your paths cross again later, when the person is available and ready, then go for it.

[Shizunk]

If you are 18, why not. But when you are 32, no. Take what you can get and forget what you can't. If he wants you, he will give you a clear timeline. If not, do not wait.

[VIVANT]

Only if I’m also not ready. If I’m ready then it’s a bad idea. I won’t write them off. I’ll date others and if they and I are free and they become ready, we can’t try. But I’m not waiting.

[Jamie05rhs]

I kind of feel like it wouldn't even work to date others, though. Because if you're really into someone, it would be really difficult to make genuine connections with other people while waiting for them. I think I would have to either go all in or write them off entirely forever.

[Petermorgan34]

It depends on the situation/age, young potentially, yes and no Because it depends if you pursue others than no, if you oove them and then no. Sorry about grannar i am drunk

[Coulis]

Nope! I would never wait for anyone. I wouldn't expect anyone to wait for me either. When people want a person they don't care. Timing is the lamest excuse ever and I find it an insult to my intelligence.

[Azura_88]

I was wondering what are the examples of incorrect timing. As in career related reasons or family issues?

[Coulis]

@Azura_88 whatever crap people (guys) say.. i don't have money, I'm not in the rightnplace. This ethereal, ambiguous right place that they are suddenly in when a person thatvis actually worth the risk to them appears. That's fine and good but just sy, I'm not feeling you, sorry. I hate tbis dumb games men play thinking they are spering your feelings when they are just playing hot and cold and hurting you with mixed signals.

[Azura_88]

Exactly. You can never trust guys regarding this. But I've observed when girls are genuinely occupied with something else, they definitely make promises to a guy that they really want to be. Girls won't mislead a guy to 'wait for dating' she will let him know if she's not interested. In some case she might make a guy wait but will fulfill her promise when she's done with those extra things.

[Azura_88]

Women are more emotional so they don't waste their time misleading a guy. But unfortunately many men know this and will go to any extents to manipulate her. All they want is attention, ego boost and are scared to be left with zero admirers.

[Coulis]

@Azura_88 I disagree, women do it too.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Azura_88 Sadly, I agree with @Coulis.

[rienna888]

I don’t think so to be honest because if they loved me enough they would’ve done everything to be with me, no excuse unless they’re studying law or meds, then I kinda understand

[Surfer96]

To be honest i think perfect "timing" in a relationship doesn't exists, if BOTH of you want to be together you will, no matter what, good luck : )

[Jamie05rhs]

Or you could at least start SOMETHING. You don't have to make it be a "relationship" right away if you're not ready for that yet. But if you like the person, start something with them.

[Coulis]

@Jamie05rhs nope. Nope. NO SOMETHING. Waste of time. @Surfer96 is right. There is never perfect timing for these things.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Coulis I'm talking about if she doesn't feel like she's ready for a romantic relationship yet. You can just get to know each other as friends first. Right?

[Coulis]

@Jamie05rhs nope. If I want to sleep with you I don't want to be your froend. Gorls are the same.. i know some people do do that but I have never seen a friend as a roma tic partner ever. One or the other.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Coulis I didn't say anything about sleeping with anyone.

[GingerGuy]

If it were reversed, what would you tell a guy? Same here. People that "aren't ready" if you notice, when they meet someone they really like, it's amazing how fast they are all of the sudden "ready". Just an excuse I think.

[NicoletteXO]

No. No way. They simply don't have strong enough feelings for you.

[Iron_Man]

It could take years and he could be a big flake wishy-washy move on

[Jamie05rhs]

I would wait for them. But only if they admitted their feelings. I wouldn't wait based on a hunch.

[Coulis]

Fair enough but still think "not ready" is 99.9% BS.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Coulis Well, I wish women wouldn't lie so much. Because it makes it harder to understand what is bullshit and what isn't. I believe that trust is essential in a relationship, so I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. What if you were always suspicious of someone? That relationship would be doomed to fail.

[Coulis]

I agree constant suspicion is absolutely a relationship killer I just wish people would be more honest because I could say the same thing that I wish men wouldn't lie so much.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Coulis Oh. So it sounds like we're both dealing with the same bullshit, just from different ends.
It's unfortunate, isn't it? :/

[Jerre]

Depends on how much time you will have to wait. Could be months, years or never. Move on with your life.

[HighValue]

It depends on the reason they give for why the timing isn't good and if it is likely to change. What would need to change for the timing to be good?

[Flower7]

Nope, not worth it. Sounds like a waste of time to me!

[Flower7]

Plus, I bet they would suddenly be ready if the right person came along...