Is it worth waiting for someone who has feelings for you but is not ready for a relationship because the timing is not good?

Question

Let me know your opinions and experiences down below.

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

Objectively speaking, the answer is no. Their feelings are irrelevant to the bigger picture. Let's take a look why:

1. Feelings can be built with anyone. So that person might have feelings for you, doesn't mean someone else won't be able to have these feelings for you either.

2. The feelings that person has for you does not guarantee compatibility in case they ARE ready for a relationship. So in other words, you can still have feelings for each other, but the relationship can still fail (like any other relationship that failed where feelings were involved). So you would wait all this time only to find out your time was wasted on someone who ended up not being "the one".

3. Time. Why would you waste your time waiting for that person when you can build something with someone else who IS ready? If you are truly 32 as your profile says, with all due respect, you don't have the luxury of waiting if you actually want to start a family.

4. They may knowingly or unknowingly trying to keep you on the leash instead of letting you find your opportunities elsewhere out of their own selfishness.
So my advise would be, if you truly have to stay in contact with this individual, at least try to keep an emotional distance. You want to keep your options open. Who knows, there might be someone who crosses your path who IS ready to be in a relationship with you. You're not obligated to wait for someone to come around.

So in short: keep your options open for other people.

224466881010 · Accepted Answer

Sometimes unfortunate timing is just that: unfortunate.

If someone isn't ready for you, you shouldn't have to pay for that. There are plenty of people out there who would be great for you.
If they "get ready" in the future and you're both available, then great. There's also no reason why you can't keep in contact with them in the meantime while they're "getting ready".

Waiting for a person in the short term can also be risky because it sets a bad tone and there's no guarantee the person will ever be ready for you or that the person just has mental issues or is just a coward. Waiting for someone doesn't necessarily mean you're a chivalrous person or you're kind in any way. It could also communicate that you don't have options but to wait for someone's nebulous promise, or that you're kind of dumb.

I'd be extremely suspicious about someone who asked me to wait for them. I'd tell them that they would have to show me what their problem is, how they're gonna get over it and show me that they're honestly trying to make progress. And even then, I don't want to be someone's self-development supervisor. It's just messy in my opinion.

aintnocandle · Accepted Answer

I’d weigh what the reason is for why it isn’t good timing and see if it makes sense on their end or not, and if I feel I’d make the effort to make it work then I wouldn’t wait and I’d move on (speaking from experience). I want someone who dates and loves the same as me. If they are finding ways of which it is bad timing but I see all the ways it can work then that’s a sign we are incompatible. It doesn’t matter if they have feelings. It doesn’t matter if you have feelings. Feelings change once you let go of the story. There’s so many people out there that will be ready and give you as much as you would.

Also depends on how much you know them and how long you’d be waiting for. There are a lot of variables but from my experience I wish I wouldn’t have waited because I realized it didn’t change anything and it was just postponing the fact we weren’t compatible and he didn’t feel enough for me, or loved the same way I do.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It depends on the reason and also if he looks like he’s actually making an effort to “be ready”. I personally get turned off once I hear the words “I’m not ready” and I end up questioning if I really do want to be with him, but that also means that I’m also not ready and is not sure about what I want. So I usually give it some time (a couple of months) to really figure out what I want from him while giving him some time to get ready.

DonkeyDan · Answer

Not everyone that says that have feelings for you but it's not a good time right now is telling the truth, sometimes it's just a nice way of saying, your a really great person and I kind of fancy you but I don't really want a relationship with you. If they do mean it there is no guarantee that they will come round to being ready for a relationship, depending on the reason as why there timing isn't good. Like they have gone through a bad breakup, some people can take a long long time to recover from that kind of thing, and there you are waiting and waiting for something that may never come.

ohshee · Answer

I don't know if your car says empty on gas should you keep driving it if you go swimming and you have a booger hanging from your nose should you just leave it there until you're done swimming if you have to pee should you just hold it until you pee your pants I don't know what any of this means but no because they might not ever be ready

globetrotter22 · Answer

While this tragically happens you shouldn’t hold your breath. Also this person might fall in love with someone else or just lose their feelings for you.

Just leave it open ended. You do your thing while they do yours. Expecting a guaranteed relationship in the future is not like waiting for Christmas to come around. Sure the romantic love story makes life more intriguing but unfortunately this doesn’t mean it will happen. Human beings, attraction and the dynamics of a relationship are unfortunately very messy.

nice-girl · Answer

Of course not. They aren't ready? What does that mean?
I would wait however, if he had to go to another country for work or studies. But in that case we would be in a relationship.
But not wait a year because they were not emotionally ready.

Nomina · Answer

Nope. I've been there and nah, I'm not waiting for anyone who doesn't know what they want, isn't ready yet, it's not the right time, blah blah blah.

I waited a looooong time while he still had flings and hookups, etc.

Not happening.

Dominique95glee · Answer

It depends on how long you already been waiting and I would but if the felling fears because of waiting than it maybe wouldn’t of worked out anyway only way waiting would be good if the feeling become stronger

Coulis · Answer

Nope! I would never wait for anyone. I wouldn't expect anyone to wait for me either. When people want a person they don't care. Timing is the lamest excuse ever and I find it an insult to my intelligence.

Anonymous · Answer

No.. not as in waiting around since the person might never would actually be ready and want to be with you when that time comes.. I'd advise to let go instead and if your paths cross again later, when the person is available and ready, then go for it.

Shizunk · Answer

If you are 18, why not. But when you are 32, no. Take what you can get and forget what you can't. If he wants you, he will give you a clear timeline. If not, do not wait.

VIVANT · Answer

Only if I’m also not ready. If I’m ready then it’s a bad idea. I won’t write them off. I’ll date others and if they and I are free and they become ready, we can’t try. But I’m not waiting.

Petermorgan34 · Answer

It depends on the situation/age, young potentially, yes and no Because it depends if you pursue others than no, if you oove them and then no. Sorry about grannar i am drunk

Iron_Man · Answer

It could take years and he could be a big flake wishy-washy move on

rienna888 · Answer

I don’t think so to be honest because if they loved me enough they would’ve done everything to be with me, no excuse unless they’re studying law or meds, then I kinda understand

Surfer96 · Answer

To be honest i think perfect "timing" in a relationship doesn't exists, if BOTH of you want to be together you will, no matter what, good luck : )

GingerGuy · Answer

If it were reversed, what would you tell a guy? Same here. People that "aren't ready" if you notice, when they meet someone they really like, it's amazing how fast they are all of the sudden "ready". Just an excuse I think.

NicoletteXO · Answer

No. No way. They simply don't have strong enough feelings for you.

Jerre · Answer

Depends on how much time you will have to wait. Could be months, years or never. Move on with your life.

Flower7 · Answer

Nope, not worth it. Sounds like a waste of time to me!

ZIMMYBEE90 · Answer

No. While you are waiting, they are out enjoying their life and fucking someone else.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I would wait for them. But only if they admitted their feelings. I wouldn't wait based on a hunch.

LegendaryIcon · Answer

No, life is short. If they're not ready, they're likely not the one

HighValue · Answer

It depends on the reason they give for why the timing isn't good and if it is likely to change. What would need to change for the timing to be good?

Anonymous · Answer

There is literally no such thing as bad timing--only a not interesting enough opportunity.

Shiningtempest · Answer

@sheikalana I would never wait for them because a woman who has feelings for me but isn't ready indicates she's an utter coward.

Shihab91 · Answer

Its a risk imagine waiting then you find it that you two not compatible 🤷🏻‍♂️ , or he changed his mind

D4nielv · Answer

Are you in such a hurry to get into a relationship?

dustybiker · Answer

Life is short. Opportunities don’t come around again. If you are offered one, you take it!

Pandupillu · Answer

Depends on the situation, if he has feelings for me and prioritises career, I would wait.

devilish-cutie · Answer

no, i dont belive in "not the right time"

bamesjond0069 · Answer

No. Accept my advances now or fuck off. Thats how i do it.

lazermazer · Answer

I would try to understand why timing is not good? What is the reason?

sensible27 · Answer

Depends on who i guess

Anonymous · Answer

I was in the same situation. I walked away.

MadBoy · Answer

Only if they feel the same.

whosnumber1 · Answer

not ready, move on. their loss.

es20490446e · Answer

Not ready = Not good

Hangry06 · Answer

Not really

ChiPaPa · Answer

Nope. Good bye.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

No...

Badgerpup93 · Answer

Not sure. Im waiting

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