Can you please explain to me why some users blame me for not being able to get a boyfriend?

[TheSimFans]

I have noticed that some G@G users put the blame on me because I can't find a new boyfriend. I don't think I have anything to blame on myself. I have been struggling to find a boyfriend because my mom hasn't changed her mind about who I can date. Despite being a young adult, my mother refuses to let me date men without a learning disability. I am the only one who can control myself, not my mother. Yes, my mom is always agrue about dating and what guys I can and can't date. One of the last things said was this line. You will be unable to date or be in a relationship at all. Yep, the slieneit treatment always happens to me only with my mother. My mum always gets her way and never let me down when it comes to dating and relationships. Lying doesn't work with my mum. I did ask two of my sisters if they had any problem with our mum and both one is older said no i don't have any problems with dating or relationship. It is possible that the younger girl also has a learning disability. However, she has no problem dating or being in a relationship if she wants to and has already got a boyfriend. Her older sister also has a boyfriend. Why am I the one who struggles to get a new boyfriend and struggles with my mum when it comes to dating?

[SnowedIn]

I can't answer why people on this site do what they do.

I think there's several pieces to this.

First, your mum isn't in charge of your life. If she's involved in you dating, that's your choice. You own that.

I've been on this site since September. A lot of your questions are about why you can't get a boyfriend.

Here's what I'll tell you: people not desiring another person is either passive or active. Either they're just not attracted to you or you're doing something they find objectionable.

Then, how many people are you interacting with? It takes a LOT of people to interact with to get a date. Are you out there every day interacting with people, talking with them, building relationships to the point where guys say, wow, I want to date her? If you're not doing that, then yes, the problem is on you.

And the minute you start listing excuses, you just underline what I just wrote and what @DubiousIntentions said.

Dating takes a lot of time and effort. Are you putting that in?

[TheSimFans]

yep I been putting lots of effort in and meeting in rl but I'm not attracted to men in rl and i has been on few dates that lead to nowhere but right back at the started. I can't control but my always will comes with me when comes with date and meetup so i can't do anything by self and forget to put in my question that i got a learning disabilities that i might put in the update as well and nothing seem to happen

[SnowedIn]

If you're telling me that mom goes on your dates then that is the exact problem right there.

A person could be the nicest person in the world and the hottest looking better than a model and I would NEVER go on a date with her mom. Particularly at your age. Maybe deep into a relationship have dinner with the parents but not accompanying us on dates.

That's the number one problem.

The number two problem is where you say you're not attracted to men irl. Guys know that. Honestly, I can't reconcile why you want to date but you're not attracted to men irl. For me, that doesn't make sense.

@_Maya_ ... any wisdom here?

[TheSimFans]

there just not my Types es of guys that i liked that i met through rl and some them already got in relationship. my mum will always refuse and won't even listen to me when comes to dating. so is impossible to get anywhere with my mum. yet never said anything about my learning disabilities that i mention here to. yet kept mention my mum

[SnowedIn]

If you meant that I haven't said anything about your learning disabilities and I'm only talking about your mom, yeah.

Your mom is the number one problem. None of the other problems can even be discussed or talked about until you deal with the mom problem.

[TheSimFans]

Talking doesn't get me anywhere with my mum and done a lot of times and still same promblem and always refuse

[SnowedIn]

That may be but she's the first problem. Can't solve the others without solving for her.

[TheSimFans]

yet i can't do anything about the problem and nothing has work

[_Maya_]

I agree with @snowedin that mom on dates is number one problem here. No guy wants to be judged by mom on a first date. He's also a lot less likely to open up. That means he will come off uninterested to you. Wdym you are attracted to guys in real life? Why you worrying about dating then in the first place unless I've missed something...

[TheSimFans]

@_Maya_ I'm not sure why I'm more interested in dating and my mum always has be like this when only comes to dating men with a learning disabilities and some men in rl I'm not attracted since they not type of guys that i been attracted , i was fine in college is was no issue. yet i can't do anything about my mum since she always refuse me nobody what about dating and expressing my feeling doesn't get anywhere with my mum at all and talking also won't help.

[_Maya_]

@thesimfans what sorta guys are you attracted to? Maybe if I knew that I could give better advice? Hope I can help.

[TheSimFans]

@_Maya_ I likes guys that are gamer, repecful, open minded, nerds and geeks and last one are like are shy guys.

[_Maya_]

@thesimfans okay cool! Those are specific things. Question is where to find those types of guys. So, hardest one is shy. Guys that are shy aren't likely going to open up. The rest of the things you list are doable. I'm not much of a gamer but do you play online with local players? Might be a good way to chat with some guys that like the same games when you are playing. From what I understand it is easy to connect through game forums. Might take a bit of patience. Have you tried that route at all?

[TheSimFans]

@_Maya_ I only tries some games but game that i been on the most is the sim 3 or splatoon 3 . splatoon seem to be very rare in uk not many people knows or heard about. i got account on stream, some dating gaming websites that are apps. on some dating app like badoo and as well on facebook and Instagram. i don't see these guy in rl

[_Maya_]

First off love the Sims... wish I still had time to play like I used to. It was a good time on a rainy day. Okay so no luck with the dating apps and meeting gamer types?

[SnowedIn]

@_Maya_ ... I admire your optimism. Let me ask this: even if someone is found, what's the endgame if she doesn't want irl and the issue with mom?

[_Maya_]

@snowedin I have a hunch that irl is connected to mom. Fix one problem and takes care of the other. What do you make of that?

[SnowedIn]

@_Maya_ ... I think you're on to something. Do you mean fix the mom problem or just don't do irl? If the latter, in your mind is there an endgame or it's an online relationship only?

[_Maya_]

@snowedin I'm thinking fix the mom problem and she might have a better time and see how fun it can be. Not an easy fix but I've got some suggestions.

[SnowedIn]

@_Maya_ ... yep! Totally agree 1000000%. Mom is the first problem. Nothing gets fixed without that.

[_Maya_]

@snowedin yeah totally. She seems like a sweet girl that needs a chance on her own. Look how she knows what she is after. So many don't even know that. Ahead of the game in a way. I think if mom realizes she needs that chance on her own to be an adult and experience the same thing her mom did at one point in time...

[SnowedIn]

@_Maya_ ... you are a saint.

[TheSimFans]

@_Maya_ I watch a lot dating video's that are aim for men and most men already given up with dating all together and another problem is that i can only date men with a learning disabilities since i got a learning disabilities and yep i had to hide the dating video's that aim at men from my mum. just hide anything then is way to go then. won't work by taking or expressing my feeling. doesn't work very well and my dad stay away from issue ,

[MementoMori777]

Well for starters, people here are very toxic, you can always count on them to make you feel like shit, and second, fooling your mom shouldn't be so hard, just tell whatever normal guy you want to date to pretend he has a learning disability around her, boom you chillin

[TheSimFans]

is just seem to be women seem to be more mean like one up there. women only one that are mean and rude to me. some men do but i seen more with women then men do more and i already grown up. they should grown up to. my mum always find to way to force me to tell the truth.

[MementoMori777]

Then I don't know what to tell you

[LiamJHayden]

A lot of people on here, and in life, will often make assumptions based upon their own life experiences. Since no one has walked in your shoes, it is safe to consider what they say, and then ignore it if it does not apply.

[Kelly6]

just ignore them