Do your relationships work out better/last longer when the woman initiates?

[Anonymous]

I’ve noticed that in my life, whenever I’m in a dating situation, things tend to work out better for me when the woman initiates. What I mean by initiate is make the first move, i. e. introducing herself first, texting me first, or inviting me somewhere/setting plans.

It’s been a few months since I’ve been on a date and people like my mom, my pastor, and a few close friends are worried. They say I need to ask one of my taken friends/family for advice, or just keep making first moves/shooting shots.

Whenever I make a first move, it never lasts. The girls always end up thinking I’m too forceful, move too fast, or I’m desperate. But when I leave them alone and mind my own business, some of them eventually come to me. I’m more stressed and not as happy when I have to initiate/pursue first.

I think I’m doing just fine. Yeah, it kinda sucks not having dated in a while, but I’m still happy. I want to keep doing how I’m doing, but at the same time, I wonder if they’re right. Should I work on my pickup game or keep socializing and let things happen naturally?

How has it been in your relationships? Does it usually work out better when the guy or girl initiates?

[Apple1996]

Yeah its better if the woman makes the first move. Means she's actually interested in you. If you have to make the first move she'll most likely say yes and just go along with it for the sake of having a relationship. Not because she's interested in you.

[Selene1600000]

It’s not about who initiates it’s about how you come across, and right now your approach when you initiate may feel too intense. If things work better when women come to you, it likely means you’re more relaxed and natural in those situations. A balanced approach is best: keep socializing naturally, but practice low-pressure, casual initiating instead of forcing it.

[DryGermanGuy]

Great babble, ChatGPT.