What to do if you're dating a guy because of his personality not his looks?

Question

This guy I love him, I really do. He loves me more as well. But he doesn't have the looks and I keep rethinking if I should keep loving him or not. Sometimes I get ashamed when people know we're together so I don't know if I should stay with him or not.

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

Looks change over time.
I look at some of my classmates and some of the ones that were hot in school now look like they were ridden hard and put away wet.
Just dating someone based solely on their looks is very superficial and shallow.
If he was hot but changed over time would you stay together?
Have you ever thought about that the only reason he is with you is because of your personality and not your looks?
He might feel that you aren't all that attractive but is with you despite that.
What people find attractive is very subjective.
You might be too skinny, too heavy, your butt might be the wrong shape or size, one eye might not be concentric with the other one, all sorts of things.
I would much rather be with someone I actually like vs how they look.

inhua · Accepted Answer

you can either follow your heart or follow society's unwritten expectations most women choose the latter but the guy is already attractive

BasedBaeBecca · Accepted Answer

If you're truly happy with the relationship and you've found someone that you genuinely love and enjoy spending time with, then it's not fair to either one of you to let go of that just because of societal pressures or because he doesn't fit the conventional beauty standards that some people have. True attraction is about so much more than just appearance; it's also about chemistry and compatibility, which it sounds like you two have. So don't let the opinions of others affect your decision, and just focus on your own feelings and what makes you happy.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

You don’t love him and you know that you don’t. If you did you wouldn’t try to defend it nor would you keep rethinking it. It is okay if you value someone’s appearance more but you should let him go while still being kind. He deserves someone who will love him and you can find the person that fulfills you as well

Pinay_ako · Answer

You don’t love him. If you did, you won’t think twice or staying with him for his “Mediocre” looks. Let the poor guy go. He deserves better.

Anonymous · Answer

Get him to work out . It's that simple. Don't over complicate this by adding in all these beliefs that other people do. They self sabotage themselves left and right with beliefs that have not foundation. Okay you dont like the way he looks. That doesn't make you a bad person. Get him to work out. It doesn't mean you don't deserve him. People say that and then go find someone with the same personality and better looking.  Get him to work out. You guys can both do it. Don't over complicate it with all these damn emotions.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

It would be a very, very, very, shallow thing to do to a man you claim to love because of the opinion of others.

You would destroy him. He would lose trust in is future attempts to start over with someone new.

Google “Red Pill Ideology”. If you leave him because he doesn’t meet society’s definition of attractive, you are adding fuel to this pitiful movement.

Staximus · Answer

You're superficial. You don't love him. If you did, his looks wouldn't matter. Dump your boyfriend and go find Mr. Good Looking. He will have 5 more superficial girls like you chasing him on the side that you have to compete with. Good luck with that. There's an old expression - "don't marry a beautiful woman if you want to get some sleep at night". They say that because beautiful women have options, every guy is trying to impress and fuck her. The same goes for guys that every woman finds attractive. Be careful what you wish for.

Finchie40 · Answer

Well if he treats you good and he prioritizes you over everyone else , you should do the same for him as well, So Fuck what other people think or say , those people shouldn’t matter to you cuz Looks aren’t everything , when you find someone that loves your heart the same way you love theirs , that’s the best anyone can ask for , people that hold onto looks will never truly experience true love , cuz I got news for you , barely anyone stays attractive forever but Love does when you have some one’s heart the same way you give them yours.

Kinkyhubby · Answer

People looks change through the years, personalities usual last forever. Looks usually only matter mostly in the beginning of a relationship. If they matter the entire time, then that person is shallow. through the years both the men and women body will change. I say stay the course. You will be happier

molonski2 · Answer

If he is that ugly that you are ashamed to be with him , in that he can't even present himself to the world , and you've been have sexual relations , what is he like in bed? How large is his manhood? You need to give consideration to all these things.

Wonderingguyy · Answer

“I love him, I really do”
Yes you said that, but you don’t actually love him. If you really did, you wouldn’t even be having these thoughts or questioning whether you should dump him because of what OTHER people think of his looks or you two together.

provokeesmokee · Answer

If you're ashamed, you need to leave him so he can be with someone who loves him for who he is, as he is. If looks are what are making you feel like this, you don't deserve hide personality.

Unit1 · Answer

"This guy I love him, I really do." "should stay with him or not."

Anonymous · Answer

You already know the answer to this. You either love him (like THAT), or you don't. It's not a blame deal... it just is what it is. You already know the answer, it's in the question.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Do you know if his looks could improve to the point that you would find him sexually appealing? If not, it sounds like you're just dating a friend right now.

SL1CK_BL1CK · Answer

This is why looks matter at first most of the time. If you don’t feel comfortable with him tho you should either tell him to try look more presentable and if there’s nothing he can do than try unfortunately break up

BigDog1989 · Answer

Well, people might say you're settling but, if you started to date someone because they're in the military they may say you're shallow. So, it's up to you. Either or, you're going to lose

Counterclocking · Answer

If you’re not physically attracted to him, find another guy. As for me, in the dating world personally means nothing if a woman doesn’t have good looks. An ugly face destroys a good personality.

nawtee_me · Answer

So what happens if you marry a good looking guy a nd over time his looks change and he become uglier? Do you devolve him? Looks are not everything

Grovermint · Answer

If you're thinking this way, then you obviously don't love him. Break it off so he can find someone that does.

Cvm567 · Answer

If you love him enough do right by him. And I’m pretty sure you know what to do

DarkLegacy · Answer

He could way better then a shallow, artificial person such as yourself.

Juxtapose · Answer

Gee, sounds like you're going to be loyal when your man gets old and wrinkly!

zebronics · Answer

Congratulations! You are one of the prime example of delusional! Really!

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Stay with him a bit longer, if you still can't get past his physical appearance then it's time to find someone you physically like as well.

Sasha0426 · Answer

Seems like you already made your decision. Do him a favor and let him go.

Anonymous · Answer

You need to end it. He deserves to be with someone who truly values him.

sheenagwapa · Answer

is there such a thing?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Give him a makeover.

What to do if you're dating a guy because of his personality not his looks?

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Shouldn't a guy worry if a girl chooses him for his character traits rather than his physical attractiveness?

What to do if you're dating a guy because of his personality not his looks?

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Shouldn't a guy worry if a girl chooses him for his character traits rather than his physical attractiveness?

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