Shouldn't a guy worry if a girl chooses him for his character traits rather than his physical attractiveness?

[foxsquirrell]

Yes

No

[DishLady]

Wth kind of question is this? Don't you WANT to be admired for your character over your looks? My goodness, what is happening to the world.

I get it if you're some kind of pretty boy who always gets a girl based on your looks and suddenly out of the blue someone actually gaf to look deeper and you're now confused... However, most people here on planet earth have to build character and skills and get out there and engage in real-world tasks. If someone admires us for what we've made of ourselves over what we lucked out in getting in the looks department... that's a really good thing.

[foxsquirrell]

Ahh actually no, to answer your first part. Because I would worry that she would then be attracted to attractive guys. And do stuff behind my back too. So huge worry not a little one.

[foxsquirrell]

And by the way I don't get any girls at all. When I occasionally go out, I am alone. Nobody talks to me and I don't talk to anyone either.

[DishLady]

So you’re worried someone WON’T see your value and just stick with the pretty boys? If you’re actually 40 and looking for women within your age range you’ll meet more women who are into a guy’s values more than his looks.

[foxsquirrell]

I still believe that looks are important. No matter what they say. The reason you sometimes see unattractive guys with attractive girls is because the girl wants financial stability and peace of mind. Something which if admitted would kill a relationship if the guy believes it.

[DishLady]

That's not true. My ex hubby was only marginally cute by most standards but apparently really successful with the women... even when we were married. I held the jobs throughout the marriage while he was galavanting all over town making a fool of me with most of the moms on the PTA, so tbh money wasn't the thing, but thanks for putting the typical "guy spin" on it. MEN can be gold diggers too. and FYI, the only one who's ever been able to give me a peace of mind is me.

[Caroline91]

My husband is a nice looking guy, not a model but nice looking. However, looks can get boring if there's nothing much more behind the face and body. He has a spark that keeps me constantly interested and wanting to be sparking back. In 10 years of marriage, I can honestly say I have never been bored!

[Avicenna]

t really depends on her- if she's narcissist or otherwise bad person, she could be choosing you because she thinks she can take advantage of your goodness or kindness.

[Billlewis]

Yes, because character traits don't get you any pussy.

[foxsquirrell]

Haha exactly. So I'm not alone with my reasoning. The trouble is when someone is unaware of it.

[Anonymous]

No, that's best. If a girl chooses you only because you're hot, then it's a lot easier to replace you if a hotter guy comes around, or you get older or gain weight or whatever.

Of a girl chooses you for your character, you're irreplaceable. It never mattered what you looked like to begin with, and no one has the same personality. She wants you specifically. That's a much stronger basis for a relationship.

[MisterWack]

Character, personality, integrity matters far more than physical attraction. I feel the same way with women, why is it any different to a man like me?
If she sees you for the kind, nice, sweet, strong good man you are then I see nothing wrong.

[Alli112]

As in romantically? That's actually probably a good thing that indicates your relationship is more likely to last long term. Beauty doesn't last after all

[foxsquirrell]

Yeah in the sense that they are together as a couple.

[Alli112]

Then isn't that great? She likes him as a person and likely finds him attractive in her own way. If she only liked his personality and vice versa then wouldn't they have just stayed friends?

[RavVid]

Why? You and I both know choosing a girl for her beauty is ignoring more important stuff and her beauty will be much diminished in 20 years whilst age will improve her character.

[foxsquirrell]

Well simply choose one who had both looks and character! Attractive girls can be nice too. And unattractive girls might be mean too.

[RavVid]

Both scenarios can be possible. But more attractive people of either gender get away with more than less attractive representatives of their sex, and so become more self serving because they don't get negative consequences.

You are best ranking characteristics in order of importance. You are never going to get 5 foolscap pages of must haves. The probability of a prospective partner having N qualities is roughly 1/3^N. If you have 17 reqs then there just one suitable girl in the US for you.

[Nikki1989]

Only a man could come up with that backwards logic.

Good grief!

[foxsquirrell]

I don't think it is backward at all my dear! I wish it was.

[Mwolf]

Being good looking is a plus.

[foxsquirrell]

exactly. and unfortunately not looking good is a minus. Its the hard reality.

[Mwolf]

There are some people who everybody consider good looking, some are average, some who are mediocre but then become better looking once you start to like them for who they are, some who just might take longer or have to work harder to find someone. A lot of it is confidence in yourself. Don't ask me how, but women can sense low self esteem and desperation. I can't say because I am not like most women, which is what drew my boyfriend to me, me standing out, fiercely independent, confident in myself not needing and being desperate or flirty, dark sarcasm, etc. Every guy can self improve themselves. Doesn't mean you have to have a 6 pack and pearl white smile, at least have general hygiene though otherwise accept being a celibate. Get out there, be genuine, don't try to impress, remain true to yourself, stick to your morals, listen to your gut and you'll be alright. For hygiene: wash hands after bathroom use, shower, brush teeth, comb hair, wash face, try to reduce acne, whitening strips if applicable, contacts or glasses your choice, sometimes a bit of weight loss is a good idea, dress formal at least until you know if she's into Pokemon as well before busting out your favorite Charizard T-shirt or pokemon Go app

[foxsquirrell]

I appreciate your reply. I think you mean well. But I am adamant that looks are very important. Especially if you want an attractive girl to be attracted to you and not to the financial stability and peace of mind that you provide her. I'm sure about what I am saying.
Not saying that I'm hideous by the way. But just posted the question because I wanted to talk about something I 100% think is true.

[Mwolf]

Looks are definitely a fact contributor, shouldn't be the first top one aand unfortunately in a lot of cases it is

[DrPepper12]

Thats really shallow and a dark view of how loving relationships are formed tbh. 🤔

[foxsquirrell]

I'm not saying it is the only thing necessarily in a relationship. I really don't think like that. But I think it is necessary ingredient if you want to attract a hot girl.

[DrPepper12]

Its the uniqueness of the individual. Its a package in its totallity.

[foxsquirrell]

But if certain values fall below a certain threshold then the other values even if very high will be useless.

[Jersey2]

Looks fade. His character will stay forever.

[Anonymous]

Well if she's not attracted to you she's not going to be loyal to you.