I like this girl at work, but she has a romantic past. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I just started this new job. There is this introverted girl at my work that has a personality a lot like mine. The huge problem is that she has been in a relationship before and has a romantic past. I am just really bummed. I don't want to give my heart to a woman that has loved before me, especially from her youth or if it was serious.

[HateyouxD]

Whats wrong with that? What could possibly go wrong?
A lot of people arnt with their first love

[Asker]

There are a lot of reasons behind it.

[HateyouxD]

Name a couple I want to know

[Asker]

For one, I am grown now. I am approaching my 30s. When me and a woman meet, we can never say we grew up together or knew each other when we were both young. We can no longer have those "roots" or "beginnings" from when we were young. Meanwhile, she may have already experienced that with someone else. What if that person from her youth, or her first love, was really meant for her after all? What if they can reunite and experience the love they never got to have? Or what if later they were meant for each other after all and can be both each other's first AND last. Even if she chooses to remain with me, that still hurts. Second, you don't quite love the same after the first time. It is not as new and magical for her as it will be for me.

[HateyouxD]

Yes it will be but your attitude will spoil it all away.

[msc545]

Did she go on 1 date at age 14 or something like that?

[Asker]

I just overheard her talking about her past relationship.

[msc545]

That is the end for you!

[Asker]

I am talking to her and liking her more, but I cannot give my heart to her.

[Asker]

Her and her ex were high school sweethearts come to find out. FUCK NO!!!

[msc545]

Yes well of course we all know how evil having a high school sweetheart is..

Quite seriously. What in the hell is wrong with you? Is your fear of intimacy that deep that you are willing to reject somebody for this kind of shit?

And then after doing something like this you have the temerity to get on this site over and over again and whine about being alone and that nobody wants you?

[msc545]

You quite seriously need professional help. I'm not entirely sure what is going on with you but I do know that what you're doing is probably making you really unhappy. If you keep it up, you're not going to get happier and what you're trying to find doesn't exist.