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Why is it so hard to find high quality men? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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For both men and women there are a lot of "bad fish in the sea," but that just means when or if you do find one that's a catch, you have to really hold on to them and treat them well because they can be so far and in between. Sometimes dating the horrible ones is a ways to make you see what's important for you and what you want in life, and what to avoid for your own sanity.
Because in your age group they are extremely immature, not looking to settle down, aren't established yet and really don't know what to do. Not to mention, it's trendy for guys to be bi-sexual, trans and feminine. Not realizing that is not what women naturally want. They say they do, but they don't.
The ones that say they want effeminate men and sensitive men really mean they want a man that’s easy to control. They then cheat on said man with a real man.
Hard to help you on this one. Seems like you're just attracted to guys that don't have to be good people in order to get the girl. Maybe they get away with it because of their looks? iono
Guys with shit characters tend to be fun to be around. The nice guys tend to have no personality. Unless you're saying i should settle for someone with no personality
🤣 It is literally impossible to have "no personality" so I'm assuming you just mean people that aren't very interesting to you? Maybe they're quieter or like to not say much?
Anyway this stuff can be very individual to the person. Nobody checks off anybody's boxes perfectly. But it doesn't mean that there aren't any high quality people out there. It just means that you haven't found the ones who are most compatable with you yet.
But yeah I know what you mean. For instance, many women are turned on by guys that have traits like confidence, charisma, assertiveness, etc. And it just so happens that the guys who are more like that tend to be more likely to be in the dark triad. Maybe you have a similar thing going on? Hard to help though. I could say "just lower your standards bro" but yeah that shit wouldn't even work for me. I'm insanely strict & stubborn.
good luck tho & don't scare away the high value males by saying there are none 🤣 they don't tend to like that
guys with charisma, humor, wit do not belong to the dark triad. they're just lower in terms of morality.
I'm not saying that their only reason for being charismatic, humorous, or witty (etc) is because they're on the dark triad... I'm simply saying that certain characteristics make it easier for people to form & get away with exhibiting less favorable characteristics due to ego.
It becomes harder to be modest when individuals are aware of their beauty, popularity, or value in any way. (In its simplest form, humility is just functioning in a manner that is more self-aware, agreeable, open to criticism, compassionate, thankful, etc.)
thats probably a good guess.
I enjoy talking to the interesting fun guys but I can't ever imagine ever having a smooth peaceful marriage with someone with such lack of respect and below average character.
Yeah I know what you mean. Except also not because I am just an average looking mofo that nobody wanted to associate with...
anyway you should hit this guy up. The screen can barely hold his personality. Also volume warning. He's so charismatic that he's practically screaming to the camera
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B57_IatTGo
While you are that immature to see good men as you describe boring and see bad boys as charismatic men!! then the problem is in YOU.. you need to grow up first.. but for now enjoy being cheaply used for sex and whatever coz they are charismatic. LOL..
That's the nature of courting/mating/sexual relationships... In case you missed it, it's all about the sex. If the sex wasn't there, you'd just be friends. You don't need to flirt or date to be friends.
Your dating in the wrong pool, you will never find a 'good guy' in the same pool as the 'chads & tyrones', that and the fact that you'll have been ignoring the 'good guys', add to that in 2017, the #METOO hashtag went viral and women told the 'good guys' to 'Leave Us Alone' & 'Go Away' which 'good guys' took at face value and did exactly, and now your wondering where the 'good guys' have gone?
You are still young, play whatever you wanna play, you would eventually get bored of everything.
Girls, that has great hunger in fun and excitement is a red flag to me. Some fun is nice, hunger for it is bad.
Why would anyone marry someone who isn't fun to be around?
Depends on whether you see it's as a plus or a must.
so you're saying i should marry someone who bores the hell outta me?
If you are very fun and active girl, I bet that are many guys suitable for you.
If you are boring yourself, it would be harder.
I don't have a problem attracting men, its just that there aren't enough fun men that have good moral character.
True.
I think Dudley Doright and being a dork just go together. Hot, funny and charismatic just go together, Ward Cleaver was a dork but his wife's love improved him.
To find a high quality man you have to be a high quality woman. So many women consider themselves high quality but they can't bring anything to the table except their bodies.
You aren't meeting them because you are driving them away with your negativity.
I work in a building full of exceptionally bright and wealthy or soon to be wealthy young men. Your rant would be a huge turn-off to all of them.
@slatyb
i would never take advice from people like you seriously
Of course wouldn't. Something we say might challenge your parochial views.
You sound like you have high standards like most women do. You e ruled out almost all men may as well go butch. Men seem to have a lot of trouble meeting women w standards these days as well.
well nobody likes boring people.
It is not a man's job to provide you with entertainment.
@msc545
so should you're saying i should marry a man who bores the hell outta me?
You can marry whoever you want but learn to care for your own needs. You are not a child.
@msc545
nobody who has a woman's best interests at heart will ever recommend her to marry someone who bores the shit outta her.
you clearly don't have my best interests in mind
I didn't say that - I said marry whoever you want and also learn to care for yourself. Do I need to add "regardless of who you marry" ? There - added.
Learn to read.
@msc545
[It is not a man's job to provide you with entertainment.]
this was what you said... so basically you're saying that men dont have to be fun to be around in order for a relationship to work.
I didn't say that. You just did.
@msc545
you said what you said. just scroll up
F you. You probably should meet the guy on here that refuses to have anything to do with any woman " who has had prior romantic involvement".
Do I need to tell you how well he's doing with women?
@msc545 Nice!!! Lol
Ask yourself this
Am I the only woman who wants a high quality man?
Am I willing to compete for a high quality man?
How will I keep a high quality man when other women are still throwing themselves at him?
you say boring yet that is a matter of your perception. most things a guy can do that most women won't say "its boring" are the thing's assholes do. so learn to change your perspective/perception of those hobbies and you mite have a better chance.
This is the case for both sexes. The issue is finding high quality people. I think you need to ask where the type of person you seek would be found in a society filled with superficial, functionally retarded degenerates.
I don’t know. I know at least four. Though for the most part you may consider them boring.
Most people are “boring” though. Especially those who have matured.
I hear this a lot from both sides lately. I don't know, maybe I've just been lucky. I've dated some pretty good guys and I married the best one. I hope things turn around for you and you find your soulmate.
tough pill to swallow: the lower quality you are, the more difficult it will be to find a high quality mate.
I have rejected high quality guys for being too boring. Trust me, high quality guys tend to want me.
Well then you don't have issues finding them, I guess.
So you want a guy who is sane, high quality with great morals, caring, great character, great charisma, humour and wit?
You do realise that other women might want this guy too?
Who wouldn't want that?
Ok so let's hypothetically say that you have spotted such a guy and he is also single on top of it.
What are you going to do about it?
I have been trying to date for years and never met a guy like that. I dont believe such a man exists.
I believe that most people in relationships or marriages are only because they are better at settling for less than what they wanted.
There's literally a guy who's a ex-SEAL, doctor and astronaut.
Also you did not answer my question.
i dont have to answer your question because i don't see how a dumb question like that would matter or improve my situation. I can tell you're not here to help anyone
[There's literally a guy who's a ex-SEAL, doctor and astronaut.]
it shows nothing about character or personality... those are just jobs
You don't have a obligation to answer the question but it matters because you are in competition with other women and you want to compete on a championship level.
Being a SEAL, doctor or astronaut are not some jobs you can easily get to do.
My point is that that's a one out of hundreds of millions.
But ok what was your usual way to seduce a guy you wanted to date?
Based on your post, I get the feeling that you aren't high enough quality to have the kind of man you want.
Your past matters. Just from your responses, you don't qualify for a good quality man.