Why do a good bit of men blame women for their inability to appeal to us?

[Cheyannea]

I’ve seen it a lot irl and online, same for other women in my life. Additionally why are we simultaneously criticized for choosing one guy over the other?

[SeekerOfTruth007]

Women have really hypocritical standards. Half of them fawn over femboys like Brad Pitt. The other half date jerks and criminals and wonder why they get beat up in secret and not so secret times. Then there's' an overlapping 40 percent of women who said they'd rather have sex with Madonna than one of three "sexiest men alive" winners.

[Cheyannea]

What makes one man better than the other in standards men set for each other?

[SeekerOfTruth007]

integrity. moral decency. Truthfulness.

[Cheyannea]

So most people value these qualities in each other. At what point does the average woman’s standards become hypocritical? I can assume but I want to know how men view it specifically.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

The exact type of hypocrisy varies from person to person. Like one woman refused to date me unless i made 75k per year, which almost nobody in my home State makes. She only made around 50k herself at the time, so she was just giving me some lame excuse to say "no'.

[HighValue]

Most women want someone of MUCH higher value than they are and the men that are actually on her level get upset in my opinion.

Same with women that made bad life decisions and became low value getting upset at good quality men that won't accept them now that they have ruined their own value.

[Cheyannea]

Define low and high value for both men and women.

[Apple1996]

They're just trying to find anything to put blame on because it's easier than working on themselves

[LazerBean]

Victim mentality. Plenty of women do it as well. It's always someone else's fault for such people.

[Cheyannea]

I’m mostly referring to the kinds of men who dwell on sites like incels. is. Feel free to enlighten yourself. No one said women aren’t capable of the same thing. You won’t get special treatment for overlooking reality.

[Nikki1989]

They have the attitude it is never their fault and have to shift the blame to something.

[Anonymous]

No clue as to what you're talking about.

I mean I've seen women bait guys, the guys show interest back, she reject the guy, and then the guy get mad. But that's normal. No one would like that being done to them. You see women complain about guys leading them on all the time.

If this really is a problem for you and you truly don't why then maybe you should pay attention to what you're saying and doing.

[Cheyannea]

It’s just something I’ve noticed and wondered about for a while. My husband is nothing like that. I’ve had guys criticize me for being with him, though. They’ve never been able to give me a reason aside from him being half Asian.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe that's why I don't understand this question. Because I'm nothing like that either.

[Cheyannea]

It’s a special type of guy who behaves in this way. I thought maybe you men would have the inside scoop or something. 💀

[ProbablyClueless]

People online will find reasons to complain about everything under the sun. That said, a lot of those guys say that women will say they want one thing but then actually pursue another; which is often nothing like what they said they want.

[Cheyannea]

I have seen that comment a few times before haha. Usually said by the "nice guys."

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, I guess so! lol The only thing I'd say is that you want to be careful about disregardings things just because of their source. Someone can be wrong about a whole lot of things in life, but right about others. Blind hogs finding truffels occasionally; that sort of thing.

[Cheyannea]

For sure. I find it unfair at most; I’ve met ONE woman who actively dated abusive men I think because she has bpd2 and other issues. I’m positive she’s the kind of woman they are *actually* bitter about.

[ProbablyClueless]

It's definitely unfair to most women, but it also definitely happens frequently enough that I can kinda understand why the guys make the comments that they do; it's a problem that most men encounter with women.

It would be one thing if the guys weren't actually listening to what women say and trying to accommodate them, but the problem is that they are. If someone told you that they love eating restaurants that are painted red, and you respond by offering to take them to a red restaurant; you'd probably be surprised if that person told you off and went to a green restaurant with someone else.

Of course, you and I know that there was some other reason the person went to the green restaurant, but most men aren't very socially aware, so they don't understand that. Most men think that the issue was the restaurant because that's what they were told was the woman's preference. It's very one-track thinking.

Most women don't go after the abusive men intentionally, but there are a lot of women out there who will blatantly ignore redflags, or date guys because they want to try to change them. The guys take that one track thinking and try to apply it to women's dating choices.

Now mutliply the frustration from having that experience 30-40 times. I can certainly empathize with the frustration.

[Thanatos777]

They need to learn to stay away from social circles that flaunt relationships.. If you can cut off your friends for having girlfriends you can cut off your will to want a girlfriend... It's baby steps.

[inhua]

because women are programmable right? hence why men should take the blame

[Cheyannea]

What haha

[Luckycharms12]

Ego we all do it or have done it for me. Learn to get over it rejection isn't bad thing happens to us all move on there loss find someone else simple

[Anonymous]

It hurts to feel like nobody thinks you're enough. We all just wanna be loved.

[msc545]

Women have impossible standards. Imagine choosing being alone your whole life because you rejected a guy who was 5'10" instad of 6 ft tall.

[Cheyannea]

So it comes from feeling like the standards for men in the dating scene are unattainable?

[boobliker]

It's the way of youth in their hunt to be top dog in that life they are making for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Same reason plenty of women do exactly the same thing. It's the victim minset that is ubiquitous among both women and men today.

[Sunnybeach123]

No it's the guy's fault, usually.