Do most modern women who complain about lack of "good men" just have themselves to blame?

Question

The woman above is JackiJing and she is over 30 and now complains about being tired of lack of relationships and men not wanting anything serious. She speaks about how the men she doesn't want to date anyone she has in the friendzone because she would be unhappy and both parties would end up resenting each other. And at the same time the men she find attractive are often emotionally unavailable and treat her like shit. Do you think when women are bitching of men only wanting hookups or men don't want to commit and dating sucks in 2022, that they only have themelves to blame?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think the existence of "bad men" is grossly exaggerated and that there is more nuance to the failings of a female's relationships than just the possibility that there are too many men who only ever took advantage of her.

Yes, it's easier to just blame men because her inflated ego has convinced her that she is perfect and infallible and that men should be chasing after her at all times. It's easier than being retrospective to better understand what your own issues are, but many people like herself do not want to believe they have any issues. Even the men who do not like her are described as being "emotionally unavailable." This is a term women like to use towards men who have "friend-zoned" them like how men will claim a woman is probably a lesbian if she rejects him.

When you look at a woman like this JackiJing, you can easily predict what her sexual and dating experience would be like as a teenager and throughout her 20s if she is now complaining about a lack of it in her 30s. She probably thought she could have fun and not need to settle with just one guy until she was finally ready to do so. Now reality has smacked her in the face, as it tends to do for all of us at some point. For men, it usually occurs much earlier.

This lifestyle has led into her 30s where she is likely finding herself unable to attract the same quantity of men as she once was, where at the clubs you'll find plenty of women younger than she is, who are still in their prime, and who are more attractive. So now that she has realized she is no longer the prettiest girl in the room, she has to settle down. And now that she has to settle down and try to commit to someone, she has much less options to choose from due to waiting too long to make that decision. But because her standards and expectations are obviously high, the amount of men 'for her' are small in number. And out of those men, there's some who won't actually be interested in her which decreases the pool even further. So of course, it's a problem with men when they simply have other options to choose from just as she once had. History has repeated itself but she is now the one being rejected instead of being the one who does the rejecting, and in my experience, women do not often take well to being rejected when they've acquired the entitled "it's all about me" behavior from being catered to as a young lady.

She mentions the men she is actually attracted to are unavailable for her in some way. I see this all the time. Because of the aforementioned inflated ego, she believes herself to be able to get a 10/10 Calvin Klein underwear model when she is not 10/10 herself. These are guys who can basically also choose from any woman, so of course they won't be ready to commit to her when there's likely another woman who is just better than she is.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The poll division here is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 especially the women who just don't get it as they keep on with men who stand them up, play them for fools, and generally get used over and over. Another complaint "men don't put in the work they used to": actually, they do, but when they are ignored repeatedly and there are other guys out there putting in player level work and over the top energy. "Good guys" bow out because we have jobs, fitness goals, and a whole life to balance.

The Tinder men have nothing better to do, they are focused on lining up pussy conquests and thinking up clever one liners and jokes, researching what works best, and the women fall for it every time. They reward and encourage these men.

As for all the women saying this is bitter or jealous, I'm nowhere near bitter nor jealous. I put myself out there, did a Tinder, a Bumble, and a Ok Cupid account. But I'm not going to dedicate my life to womanizing the way some guys do, and those are the guys who line up date after date, use them, and then move on to the next. I'm not bitter or mad at all, I just having a healthy boundary about what's worth my time and what isn't. If that's the way I wanted to spend my time, that's what I'd be doing, too.

pearlypink22 · Accepted Answer

Yes and no.

Yes, because I feel this generation of women are low key setting themselves up for failure with the unrealistic demands, entitlement and overly done feminism mindset that other delusional women have brainwashed them into. There is so many women nowadays who expect 100 but willing to give 0 in return and just lack common sense on how respect in a relationship is meant to go both ways, not just the woman’s side.

And no, because honestly most of the time if a guy is friendzoned it’s literally because said woman is just not attracted to him. He’s most likely either physically or mentally unattractive or both. Majority of the time said guy is friendzoned is because he’s literally straight up ugly, has no personality/sense of humor or all of the above. and/or he’s lacking in these categories. This might be harsh, but it’s true, and would you really wanna be with a woman who had to force herself to want you and most likely still won’t be happy with you in the future, or possibly cheat on you because you’re just not doing it for her? Exactly. In a way if a woman friendzoned you, she’s doing both herself and you a favor.

As for the going after emotionally unavailable guys…here’s some things men don’t understand and women can’t quite put into words.

A woman doesn’t want a man BECAUSE he treats her like shit, doesn’t want her, or is emotionally unavailable. She chases after that man because she sees something in him that’ll be good enough for her. Whether it’s looks, money, popularity, good personality/sense of humor etc.

The problem with this is if said guy has all of at least some of these attributes, PLENTY of women will flock to him and he’ll have multiple options to choose from. Said guy doesn’t need her, but she needs him. And if she knows multiple women are after him too, it’s probably for a good reason because he is therefore a catch and she needs to prove her worth to him.

Gorge95 · Accepted Answer

It’s hard to say. I’m objective.

For starters: There are definitely some women within this generation who feel like their mere existence warrants worship from men. Then there are men who think simply being a decent human being I. e being “nice” should earn them a date with a woman (people in general shouldn’t be trash so I’m not giving you an award for being a decent human being, that’s what you should be anyway).

There are good women who don’t go out with a ton of dudes, live active lives full of lovely hobbies and generally women who add value, but also then again, they are overlooked quite often by the “bad bitches” who are the polar opposite (the reason why there’s a market for a “bad bitch” is because unfortunately some men allowed it or else many women wouldn’t go that route to get attention from men). Also, there are also a group of men that play women like a sport.

Long story short: Some modern women fall into the category stated above while others do not. People in general really need to steer clear of sweeping statements as it not only limits your experiences with people…But it just makes you ignorant.

That’s my two cents.

Anonymous · Answer

Mostly yes, but it's not exactly black and white. There are good comments here describing whats going on from girls too, but i'll just say how i feel.. it'll be long...

Let's say there is an above average girl on instagram, with like ~400 followers.
She is young in her 20's, good at posing for the camera, good with make up, not pornstar sexy with big boobs and ass like most guys seemingly want.
She is trendy and she is rather cute. Still.. if you would go on tinder for 10 minutes you'd quickly find very similar girls in terms of looks and style to her.
You probably guessed it by now, she is my type.
To her the average or above average guy is just ugly or not attractive at all. Be it his looks or perceived status, money or whatever..

She gets DMs from all kinds of guys all the time, she probably ignores most of them, and she is obviously after that one guy who never replies to her, but she is stubborn.. so she keeps trying.
It's funny, because most guys are in this exact situation too, except for guys it's like that with almost every girl they want to date and get to know.. no matter how the girl looks.

You know girls have 500+ notifications and they couldn't care less about most of them, meanwhile guys have like 3 and they are in ecstasy lol. So sad.
It's really hard to stand out and get a girl's attention nowadays.

Most girls like this move on from him after a while, because men like that guy has so many options, he doesn't feel anything special with her so there is no real connection between them, emotional i mean. He also doesn't want an average/above average looking girl..

Then she starts to believe, that she doesn't need a man to be happy etc.. which makes her even harder to approach for any men in the future. She focuses on her career, which is good, but at the same time she now expects double of what she does from now on from every guy.
Her follower count slowly rises, along with her ego, which was already sky high.. making things worse for everyone, yes including herself.

Young women who mastered make up look average or just slightly above average has so high expectations of men, simply... "just because".
These girls convinced themselfs they are a 10, meanwhile they are more like a 6-7, which is very good.
I hate this point system by the way, just saying this to make my point.

If i like a girl, i like her no matter how big her boobs are or whatever, in my mind and to me she is perfect. I'm more interested in her personality, is she really that interesting i think she is?
I'm not sure girls are the same way with guys.. so far it looks like girls have strict standards in terms of looks, wealth, and whatnot and will ditch the guy at any point he does something she doesn't like. It can be the smallest thing.
If the guy is not all that she wants, then she is just simply not interested.

It's always the men first who gets told to lower their standards, and men do it all the time.
How many women lowered her way too high standards just to be able to date someone? Probably way less then men.
Don't try to tell me women nowadays don't have way too high or unreasonable standards.
Women's expectations nowadays are way beyond unreasonable.
Saying all this as anon, because i expect all kinds of shit thrown my way anyways.. might make it into a mytake as non anon some day..

ManOnFire · Answer

So I took a look at her channel. I might be able to see why she's having such a hard time - she doesn't have the most mature or developed aura and still looks like a teenager in her room. Having said that, she wouldn't be the first woman to complain about still being single, and when you're doing that you show not just men but the whole world that you are still nowhere near having that perfect relationship. Because the only thing that matters to these women is a status change: not being single. They don't actually want to care about a man for who he is, they just want to be able to say they're in a relationship, and having sex.

To answer your initial question? I would say yes. Often times the women complaining about a lack of good men are the very ones who don't pick them, instead choosing to keep running to men with no real values and no real care for her. These women will keep the "good men" at a distance, explaining their hesitation because "they don't want to be hurt again" but end up choosing to go with men who do exactly that, and these women know they're doing it. They're aware of their decisions. So after having enough of being emotionally - and even physically - beat up by those dudes, that's when you will hear these pathetic women talking about now wanting the very men they scorned.

Our lives are about choices. People love to blame women's decisions on a poor relationship with their fathers or what she experienced as a kid, but at the end of the day when you reach your adulthood, you are responsible for your decisions. Past or no past. You know what's right and you know what's wrong. What you choose is what you get.

DWornock · Answer

Basically, because mostly the one that complain about the lack of good men are 27, 28, 29, or age 30 or older. That's 9 or 10 years past their prime and after they have lost their bloom. And, it is when the guys they rejected during their prime years of 18 to 23, no longer want to marry them. They had dozens of opportunities to find and marry a good man when they were in their late teens and early 20s. However, instead accepting offers from good men that wanted to marry them, they were chasing after the hottest guys that would f**k them.

However, they are not totally to blame; it is also their parents fault for not strongly teaching and impressing on them from early childhood the fact that men date down for sex but they don't marry down. Therefore, since they naturally want the best they can have, they date the hottest guys out of their league that will f**k them and reject less attractive guys in their league that want to marry them.

Also, by encouraging girls to have premarital sex at the drop of a hat it is partly our society's fault; especially, when almost every movie, except children's movies, the primary characters quickly hop into bed; often even before they have dinner. That makes girls easy pickings for hot guys out of their league.

Evan64 · Answer

Yes. A woman complaining about the lack of "good men" is just as cringeworthy as a man complaining about the lack of "good women".

Nobody wants to admit this, but there are just as many woman incels as there are male incels in 2022.

I know a girl from my high school days whose social media feeds have been literally nothing but "fuck men" this and "fuck men" that and last I spoke to her she definitely wasn't bi or lesbian or anything. Never seen her with a man since college, and that was literally for a month with one of my better friends (no- I wasn't jealous. I wouldn't even think about talking to a girl like that outside of the boundaries of a platonic connection) before she dumped him for being "too negative".

I know this is just an anecdote, but I feel like women exhibiting this kind of shitty behavior are far more common than we want to believe. They absolute deserve to be single or only get the table scraps at best, just like the men who decided to swallow the red pill whole.

DianaWest · Answer

of course, because men are sweet little angels full of peace, love and joy. they fly around with their little mystical wings blessing everyone with happiness. everything is always the woman's fault. getting stood up on a date is the woman's fault. talking to a wall or a guy who responds in 3 words or less is the woman's fault. dating a guy who you later find out wasted 6 months of your life while he was married with kids is the woman's fault. the poor innocent sweet angelic men. if only women were more understanding when you tell them you have a wife and two girlfriends.

WalkingInTheRain7 · Answer

Well, if one dresses deviantly all the time, she should only expect to attract deviance to herself. That is, men that want the same thing. Deviance. Modesty in most cases for women's clothing has gone completely out the window, and even kids as young as 8 or 9 are wearing booty shorts. It's sad.

Overall, the morality of the nation has gone down the dumper. Especially in the 1960s when the Word of God was taken out of the schools. Its just gone further and further downhill from there. The people have caused the problem that exists today.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I think it depends on the reason a person is single. I don't think I'd be considered a "modern woman" by the definition I've seen but who knows. I tried to make it work in all of my relationships, I thought they were honorable men when I met them, they weren't alphas or Chads or whatever but with time I found out they were less than honorable and they eventually left me which was probably a good thing. Then there were the men that I didn't make it past date three, I don't know for sure why again they were not Alphas or Chads but they didn't seem that interested in pursuing anything with me. Perhaps it's because I'm a 5/10 and not a 9 out of 10, or I'm not super skinny and I don't have sex right way, I don't know. Then I moved to a small rural area where there is a very small dating pool for pretty much anyone over 30. Most of the married couples here have met in high school, church or college, and there are very few single men or even women for that matter.

PAcc92 · Answer

Yes, female happiness has been decreasing every decade since the rise of their so called "Liberation". They pushed unfair custody and alimony laws making marriage a bad business contract for men.

They demonize half the population as "oppressors", then spend their 20s being used as masturbation devices by men, then in their 30s they're no longer attractive (they've hit the wall and the wall ALWAYS wins) they can't find any decent man (Men their age worth anything are using their wealth to date younger).

Men don't care about Women's careers or income, and once a women's fertility declines she's largely undesirable to men with regards to marriage.

So they did it to themselves, don't expect them to realize that though they're all incapable of self-reflection and holding themselves accountable they'll just blame Men because that's all they're emotionally and mentally capable of.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Women love to be fucked by guys they hardly know and then ghosted. If this wasn't true they wouldn't keep doing it. They also love to be cheated on.

The only other possible explanation is they could possibly be retarded?

You can see them on gag sometimes, they ask "i fucked a stranger i met at a club, will this lead to a relationship?" Of course it won't you dummy. If it does he's a fucked up man and you will a month later be on gag asking "my boyfriend doesn't take me on dates and says they are stupid, and i think he's cheating on me what should i do?"

So are they retards or do they actually love to have casual sex and get dumped or cheated on? One must be true.

Wester1967 · Answer

I watch that channel sometimes. I don't always agree. But the "All men" are toxic charge that comes from women is really annoying. It really is "All men" that I choose to date are toxic.

I gave up. Practically every g-damn woman I ever dealt with ran at top speed straight in to guys who are complete trash and idiots. Thugs, convicts, drop outs, hyper selfish narcissist dudes. Ruined their entire lives. Smashed to a million pieces. Had to be like that. No other possible way. If I tried to stop it I was "insecure, controlling, immature, toxic, etc. Fkn hell. Single women spewing out babies everywhere with no dad in sight. Alcoholism, anti depressant addiction, poverty, drugs, waking up in puddles of vomit, cat sh*t to the ceiling, total obliteration. Absolute horror and tragedy.

Oh fkn well. Not my problem now.

Mossberg500 · Answer

Women and their vanity are to blame yes. 80% go for the pretty boy top 5%(looks alone,) almost all of whom are 'players' cause they can. Of course they only have themselves to blame. Then when they start to age or get knocked up and dumped the realization suddenly hits (too little too late) that they should probably lower their (physical standards) just a tad bit. Lmao. Women are fcking dumb as ever.

It's amusing for all these years we've been led to believe that men were the "shallow gender."

Phoenix-gb · Answer

To an extent, although how much of it they have control over is debatable.

The "Good Men" they are looking for are all around them, but they are the ones who would be a safe choice (See: Boring) or are good in all aspects of life, so less successful through being selfless as opposed to selfish, quiet instead of arrogant and so on.

dovendyret · Answer

Some do - some don't.

I think people today, have this fantasy of the perfect relationship; without putting the work towards it. Even then, most times it's just mediocre - which is fine. Women complaining about lack of good men - often sticks deeper than just relationship wise though.

Anonymous · Answer

It's true but only to an extent. Men at a young age notice, the so-called bad traits are actually very marketable when it comes to dating. Young women who lead a restrictive life at their parent's house wants to be with a fun guy who is rebellious but as women age, they learn that those men don't have enough resources to support them later in life or while they are pregnant so they look for a more stable guy but by that time few will be around and guys who were decent earlier can choose not to settle so easily. I will not blame anyone, it's just what it is.

bjandreassen · Answer

I'd say that it's a very complex answer to that question.
The contributing factors is in my opinion bic tech (social media), general pressure from society, inflation and income pressures, less masculine / more feminine men and less feminine / more masculine women.

slatyb · Answer

More women than men are graduating college. Degreed women who expect to marry a professional but wait until their 30's to find a partner may find that they have a lot of competition and the remaining men have a lot of choice. Making it worse is that women in their 20's will accept an older man, so they also have competition from younger women.

jshm2 · Answer

Nah. Mostly it's all just drama.

It's the same in business, academia, arts and everywhere else.

You make a generalised assertion to all who will listen. The sympathisers come comfort, the opposers come give attention, and the thirstiest will come with their proposals and alternatives. Either way you get attention and a deal with very little effort.

It doesn't always work first time, but you learn to read the crowd and fine tune the message.

chulo1992 · Answer

I say no because it is not the women's fault. Every person is different and has their specific wants and needs. For me, meeting quality women has been hella difficult because I need for the woman and I to have undeniable chemistry, connection, common interests, mutual sexual attraction as well as physical attraction. And of course mutual respect.

Lovesims3plumbob · Answer

I am blame on social media and dating site that make dating 10x more harder to find a real , honset guy that will not cheat. I am only pool that i can date are learning disabties and they also find very diffucty to even find boyfrined or girlfriend and partner.

demonics · Answer

I love when women disagree with these kinds of questions when we have evidence to prove it. Not to mention the literal terabytes of tik tok confessions...

Do most modern women who complain about lack of "good men" just have themselves to blame?

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