Why do men want someone lesser then themselves?

[Anonymous]

Like what are you getting out of it?

[Anonymous]

I don't. I'm waiting until I move to Mexico. The U. S. is a cultural and moral sewage plant. Why do some guys? I'll explain. I know 1 guy in Texas, a Hurricane Katrina evacuee. Knew him for over a decade (my age was mistyped in here). He was homeless at first... but got a $50/mo subsidized apartment, used car, jobs in the law department of GM, security a college nightclub and at an insurance company. Fleeced places for plasma tv rentals (never gave em back), doubled dipped on his paychecks by mobile depositing them, got money from scams online from people overseas. Has tons of fake jewelry, hundreds of pairs of new sneakers (never wears them, just brags how much they cost), gym membership, thousands of DVD's, music equipment (he sometimes DJ's at the same club). He drives a rental once a month that's fancy... takes it to the club. He's set up his own workplaces to get robbed. He has 2 kids from 2 different women in 2 states, on child support for both and hasn't paid it. Wears the silk suits, the shades, keeps the poker face to attract women. Or should I say girls... because this guy's 48 and ONLY associates with women under 35, and AVOIDS Black and immigrant women (he's Black). Though because I'm from CA and have spent time in 46 states and 4 other countries, he'd ask me constantly about what N. Y./N. J. and CA were like, so I'd tell him. He'd act intrigued... but this guy once had 30K in cash in his kitchen cabinet. He's had 10K on several other occasions. Did he ONCE leave Austin for any of those REAL big time places? No. He kept his ass right in Austin, around all the 21 yr old weed smoking airheads who thought they'd hooked 2Pac-who he IDOLIZED. I'm not making this up. So why do guys like him go for bimbos with cardboard for brains and zero life experience or travels? Do you have ANY IDEA what the AmerAsian female Stanford grads in the Bay Area would do to him on sight if a loser wannabe like him approached? Kick him in the nuts and drive off in her Mercedes-that she OWNS-by age 23. And guys like him? Know it. So do I. It's called big fish in little pond syndrome. The only people who believe his fantasy nonsense... are people who haven't been anywhere, are nobodies in the real world, naive and cross eyed from the blunt smoke at some crappy club.

[Asker]

Oh my gosh!!! He wouldn’t be a loser if he just worked his jobs and didn’t try to prove himself. But I agree.

[D_Bone_Steak]

It's possible that it has something to do with the power dynamics. So say the dude's goal is to get a girl less than him and she'll be less likely to shit all over him, cheat, and will probably look up to him more than a chick that has her shit together and could easily do better than him.

Flawed logic though... if the girl is a cheater type for instance it doesn't matter if she as a 4/10 has a 8/10 man's devotion... cheater is gonna cheat AKA she belongs to the streets.

[Asker]

Finding someone decent is important. If you’re someone who has values most the time whores will stay away from you if you don’t have sex with them.

[Asker]

And vice versa. Man whores will leave women who don’t sleep with them. Simply don’t jump into bed with someone for a while

[coachTanthony]

Men with low self esteem do because they already have a bad time relating to everyone.

[crmoore]

I think that logic is flimsy and presumptive. I could use similarly flimsy and presumptive logic to assume a man wanting a woman greater than he is must have low self-esteem, because he is afraid of being in the position of providing and caring for someone in need. He doesn't believe he is strong enough for the responsibility of two people.

[coachTanthony]

@crmoore I mean I am sure that happens but she will see right through it and kick him to the curb. Most women don't want to take care of a man especially one with low self esteem lol

[crmoore]

I agree, but that's tangential. The point is that a man's preference in financially or socially lesser women can be an indication of insecurity, but not necessarily so. Quite frankly, with all due respect, I think assuming such is even unreasonable. Men have been providers for thousands of years. And this absolutely did have an affect on evolution, not only in natural selection but even in mating choices. The men who were able to provide, whether that's in a hunter-gathering tribe, or in early civilizations, they were the ones sought after by females in nearly all cases. This means that those men were more likely to reproduce, and reproduce more frequently. This results in men, on average, having those traits, wanting to be the provider, wanting to care for those less fortunate than them. It is natural for men to seek that position.

That's not to say it's wrong or bad for men today to not seek that position, far from it. Freedom is a beautiful thing and people should do what they want. But just assuming insecurity is the reason for this preference is just, like, silly. Apologies if that's rude, but that's how I feel.

[Malwi93]

yeah like why would he like me to be fat

[coachTanthony]

@crmoore I don't believe low self esteem and insecurity are the same. The main difference between low self esteem and insecurity is that low self esteem is the negative perception one has about oneself, whereas insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty or anxiety, and lack of confidence in oneself. Someone with low self esteem will seek out someone else who is (lesser) which could be an array of things in his mind.

[crmoore]

I mean, even if so, those two are typically coupled. I don't see the difference being integral to my stance. The difference also doesn't undermine my point (not that it was necessarily intended to).

[coachTanthony]

@crmoore you can couple them but saying they are is flimsy and presumptive.

[crmoore]

Well, no, it would be presumptive to say self esteem IS accompanied by insecurity. But that's not what I said. I said it is typically coupled. In the same way that it is typical for golf to be partaken by white people. But when I see a white person I don't assume they play golf. Saying something is typically the case is not an assumption, that's statistical acknowledgement. If I conclude the most likely outcome of that statistic is the case, then that would be an assumption.

But that aside, you think it is flimsy logic for low self esteem and insecurity to often be coupled? What percentage of people with low self esteem do you think are not insecure about themselves?

Lastly, while I do welcome this discussion, we seem awfully focused on this tangent. Why do you feel so compelled to discuss this aspect and not the gist of my point? It seems like you're being selective with what you want to address. Would you find it displeasing to discuss my primary argument?

[Malwi93]

@crmoore why would he want me to be fat

[coachTanthony]

@crmoore State your primary argument in two sentences or less and I will be happy too because I am not sure what it is...

[coachTanthony]

@Malwi93 Why do you care what he has to say LOL

[crmoore]

@Malwi93 Can you elaborate? I don't really see why you're choosing "fat" in particular.

[Malwi93]

is it a good sign a guy tells me not to workout?

[crmoore]

Men have been providers for thousands of years, and that has had an affect on human evolution. It is natural for men to seek the position of a provider, of which in this case low self esteem is often not a part of.

[coachTanthony]

@crmoore Men with low self esteem seek out others with low or lower self esteem then themselves which would make the person lesser. Am I saying this is binary? No I am not... I just answered the question with one possible explanation... this doesn't mean yours is false.

[coachTanthony]

@Malwi93 If he is insecure and is always afraid of losing you then that is a bad sign.

[crmoore]

@Malwi93 I feel like this is severely lacking context. I assume you mean is it bad for a guy to tell you to stop working out in an attempt to get you to develop a higher body mass index (BMI). And generally I'd say that's not a good thing. But some guys like thicker girls. Maybe they like bigger butts or bigger boobs. There could be a number of reasons. But I assume you're asking this to make a point, so until you do, I don't see this conversation being all that productive.

[crmoore]

If that's the case then I apologize for wasting your time. But, in my experiences, people often assume what you expressed is the case, rather than naming it as one of a plethora of possibilities.

[coachTanthony]

@crmoore Yes it's just one of many possibilities.

[cosmosis181]

Bang!👉

[MrOracle]

They don't - at least not in the things that most men care about. In what way do you think what most men want in women is "lesser"?

[Anonymous]

Gtfoh. Nobody is better than another person. So sick of this bs. Supremacy bs never ends. If it's not race it's something else. If it's not gender it's something else. Never f*cking ends. It's none of your business who people choose to date nor why they want them anyway.

[Malwi93]

this ghere

[Asker]

Yeah I agree. But from a narcissists perspective

[Asker]

I do agree with you. But people who think like this. It makes no sense to me

[Anonymous]

Lesser in what respect? Most men want a woman who is better than them in the ways that are important to men, which are different than the things women find important in men. The fact you don't know that makes me wonder whether you are actually a man.

[Asker]

Lmao. I am a man. Low value women seem repulsed by me. But the high value ones irs quite the opposite…. Unless they’re taken then they’re just friendly

[HiveBee]

According to what standards? Give an example of a man going for someone "lesser" than themselves and why they are lesser.

[Asker]

Anyones guess. I don’t really feel tbis way. But it’s how some feel

[HiveBee]

Thats true.

I don't think men actively want someone LESSER. They just want a woman to be with and fuck or love or whatever.

But people have to put it in terms of who is better than who.

It's all sexual competition. Us degrading eachother in order to raise our own sexual market value.

[ProbablyClueless]

I could be wrong about this, but I'd be surprised if they actually think of the person as less than them...

[Asker]

Losers like looking down on others to feel better about themselves.

[ProbablyClueless]

Ah... well, on the upside, it sounds like you already know why those men would want to date a woman like that. Insecure people really cause a lot of problems for the people around them.

[Asker]

That’s true. And decent women probably just don’t want them lol.

[ProbablyClueless]

Eh... I've seen the kinds of guys women are able to find datable and the other way around. I'm not sure that the word "decent" has any business being part of the conversation.

[glennos89]

Otherwise human reproduction would come to a hold😂

[Sasha0426]

Is that a bad thing?

[Joshydavid25]

@Sasha0426 Yes

[Sasha0426]

@Joshydavid25 Not to me 🤣

[Sonorous]

@Sasha0426 sameee

[Joshydavid25]

@Sasha0426 Considering some places like Japan are desperately trying to get people to reproduce.. I would say overall it's not a good thing..

[Asker]

How is that? Finding someone you genuinely get something out of and have babies with them.

[Radiate143]

Insecure. Low self esteem. Dissatisfaction with how much money they have and their social status.

[cosmosis181]

Somewhat, but not entirely. There was an article where a few pottery winners were interviewed, expressing how shocked they were in their international travels at how the wealthy people they attempted to hobnob with looked down on and shunned them. Every craphole town is FULL of low level drug dealers who have a stack of 10K cash on the table, even a used Denali... or rent a decent place-but won't leave their craphole town to attempt to integrate themselves into international culture in NYC, D. C., L. A. or the Bay Area. Having some money doesn't mean you have upper class ways... and those who are raised upper class can EASILY tell. I know several of those kind of guys. They get a lot of women in their little dump towns in Kentucky or Oklahoma, but they aren't going ANYWHERE NEAR San Francisco or NYC.

[cosmosis181]

Lottery winners I meant.

[Radiate143]

@cosmosis181 I mentioned reasons. Does not mean that it is all of them co occurring.

[genericname85]

i think typically that's personal insecurity or lacking self esteem. but then again who are you to say someone is "lesser"? that's what i'm wondering. that's your subjective opinion. not an objective fact right?

[Jdodkfndosn]

May I ask what woman do you see as greater than yourself?

[Asker]

I don’t. I was more asking men who think this way. I think everyone is equal

[crmoore]

I'm getting fulfillment. I love to take care of my romantic interest. I love to be a provider. And I love to make someone who might not be as capable as me have a better life. It makes me feel good to be that person, it makes me feel good to see the help I'm providing to that special someone.

[Asker]

That’s true. But if you’re putting it all into someone and she’s giving nothing back. Does she love you? What do you get out of it?

Find a woman who genuinely appreciates you AND gives it back

[crmoore]

Perhaps, I'll keep that in mind.

But maybe love and appreciation is all I need back.

[Anonymous]

I want a woman who compliments me and makes up for the things that I lack.

Why are you a woman on a blue account? Just curious.

[Asker]

I am not a woman lol. Not the first time I’ve been accused of it. A real relationship yes you complement each other

[Opinion Owner]

I can only see a woman asking this question. Men and women are different and men love women because of these differences. Wanting a feminine women who compliments him isn't "wanting someone lesser than themselves"

[Berethor]

Desperate or to feel superior, a man should be stronger.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Non-Action_Guy

[Anonymous]

Men that do this erroneously think that if she's a wildebeest she'll be loyal. I got news for them. She may not look like much of a woman but she still is one. Ugly women are just as capable of cheating on you as attractive ones.

[Shamalien]

why do women want someone “greater” than themselves? Men are the great providers and women are the great consumers. Men help women. Women get helped. Men are greater but we love women and thank god for that or they’d be fucked

[Joshydavid25]

It's actually more like women want someone better than themselves in some way..

[Asker]

Not all women are the same. The women who are like this usually end up bitter with men, 40 years old, having 10 cats, working some low paying job.

[Joshydavid25]

I would say it's more biological as women want taller men, men who make just as much or more, somebody smarter, funnier.. You name it..

[RedInnocent68]

Sometimes it’s just sex. Some interesting posts the last week or so about the opposite problem successful women have.

[Unit1]

Probably either out of insecurity or they want to "dominate" the woman in every aspect (a toxic trait).

[Pohjolan]

Lesser in what way? Like I would have a hard time finding a gal who could roll with me and tap me out.

[Anonymous]

I don't. But the ones I want don't want me.
My standards are based more on personality than looks though.

[Solo3k]

Lesser in what way? Money wise.

Nothing more unattractive than a career woman

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by "lesser?"

[turnpost]

Stability and ego and ownership.

[shades777]

what do you mean by lesser?

[DreamLife7]

Exacty 😆 lol

[Chthou95]

Be more specific

[jahaims]

I don't

[YAsQuen]

no divorce