Should women make the first move if they are attracted to a guy?

Question

This has happened to me a few times, and I was very grateful and flattered. Most guys like it, but not all.

ChicoFromThe305 · Accepted Answer

At the very least, make shit clear, digging for answers becomes so exhausting, mostly when you dig to find out that what you seek for isn't there, if they do the first move then that's all good but sometimes I've noticed they want to give off the wrong vibe to keep their actual feelings secret, which is understandable if they want to keep it private but it's completely deceitful cause then you pick up on the wrong signs and believe the wrong thing.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah but why do I get the feeling this will never be normalized

On_cloud_wine · Accepted Answer

Today I was upset that a guy didn’t make eye contact or say hi so I asked him if he was mad at me, and apparently because I didn’t make convo w him first, he thought I was mad at him. Is that what guys want and expect? That bc the girl initiates conversation first?

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

They should if they want, nothing’s wrong with it.

I am usually a bit shy for doing that though.

In China, I’ve been told, women are often the ones asking men out and they are very assertive.

I probably feel shy because I grew up in a different culture.

SillybunnyThumper · Answer

Some guys like it and some guys don’t. I have a male friend who I liked and was hinting that I like him and even asked if he prefers a girl to make the first move. He said that a man should make a move not a woman. I was like “ok I always thought maybe for once a guy would want to take a break from stress of possible rejection” he responded saying guys are used to rejection and doesn’t bother him and still prefers he makes the first move instead of the girl. Later I came across this very handsome tall fit guy with sweet kind shy eyes at work. I would see him every now and then but I never got the nerve to talk to him just smile and greet when he’d be at my checkpoint. I’m the serious quiet shy type and never make the first move. Especially if I really like someone or think someone is attractive I find it really hard to look at them and get nervous when I talk to them. It had been months since I had seen him at work and one day he was there and I got so happy to see him and he started a conversation with me, he remembered me from night shift. He just seemed so sweet, I was happy. I eventually got the nerve to send him a IG request and he accepted and he started messaging me right away. It’s been 4months since we started talking all because of that friend request. He told me it’s not very common that a guy gets attention or interest shown from a girl. He says it’s nice to have a girl express they’re interested because most girls automatically assume and expect the guy to make the first move. It actually is nice for him because he doesn’t have to fear rejection. He was surprised I was even interested in him because according to him I was so serious and never flirted haha to be fair I am like that at work or around guys. I try to be professional or serious so I won’t give guys the impression I like them because some guys confuse kindness with attraction. Anyways this was the first time I attempted that and expressed my attraction and interest to someone. I am beyond grateful because I have found the sweetest most kindest and caring person and very attractive! I’m in love haha I just love shy nerdy guys, they are sometimes neglected and beneath that shyness is usually a very caring sweet person who is waiting to be loved. Although he’s very smart he doesn’t want to be called a nerd haha because he doesn’t want to be seen as a stereotypical nerd who works in IT. He is not a typical geeky guy, he is gorgeous 😍 anyways it’s worth a shot, you have nothing to lose if you just try!

Jdodkfndosn · Answer

No, no, no. Unless we're talking about a woman making a move on a celebrity knowing full well that it will be a one night affair, and if she doesn't make a move right then and there, then there is some reason for women to make the first move.

That's not to say that women shouldn't create a atmosphere which signals "hey guy, I want you to make a move", but they need to let the guy be masculine enough to make the move.

Look 10% of guys are going to be able to talk to all women without feeling a little scared. If the remaining 90% who will have some level of fear, 45% will man up and initiate. The rest however will not make a move no matter what. They are so fearful to talk to an attractive woman and no motivational encouragement will help them.

The portion of guys who can't muster the courage to go up to a woman and make a move, are, or should be, highly unnatractive for being unable to do so. And this inability for them to do so is a good indicator of what you can expect in a relationship with them.

Why would women want to remove this good indicator for qualifying men? Use it to you advantage.

As for why women initiating is detrimental even when done with the 55% who do initiate is because I'm order for the guy to actually question why his stomach has these butterflies and making him feel like their back in grade school, he has to see the girl early on as someone he doesn't see as someone to just havw sex with and bounce, but, and he'll never admit it, but he'll fantasize what the future will look like year down the road with he and her together. That will enable the chase. And the chase to secure the date is necessary for him to take you seriously.

Apple1996 · Answer

1000% yes. Not like men can read our minds. I've always been pretty confident about this. If I liked a guy I told him that directly. If I didn't make moves I probably wouldn't be married right now

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Serious though… what’s the worst thing a guy is going to say? Sorry I’m not interested? It’s not like men are known to humiliate a girl for shooting her shot… or reporting her for harassment.

Pacquet · Answer

They should but most don’t or won’t cause a lot of women don’t want to experience what the average man experiences regularly which is rejection. I feel like dating in the west is done, I don’t believe western women want to commit.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

I’m a pretty low energy , lackadaisical guy

every woman I’ve ever been with has made the first move

something about my personality type attracts abrasive and aggressive women

but it’s ok because those are the ones who are typically extremely submissive in the bedroom

Briscole · Answer

My dear friend... in a perfect world, broccoli would taste delicious, and ice cream would taste like cow poop.

For every plus in the world, there is an equal minus. I'm glad that the burden of making the first move is on me. I have a heart the size of Montana, and would hate having to reject women.

Shy_Steve · Answer

I can understand a bit why you don't like it.

I have had Girls Approach me before and I have pretty much Rejected them because of my Anxiety now I'm still single I wish I had been more Confident and at least tried to Flirt back.

I don't think any of us like getting Approached really, That's the Problem so having Anxiety just makes it worse.

EmmaMary · Answer

Definitely... This is the 21st century, not the stone age.

SquishyBuns2628 · Answer

Someone has to make first contact so why not do it 1st🤷🏾‍♀️ Just know results may vary. Some guys like that and won't feel "emasculated" while others may feel "emasculated" for some weird 1950s type mindset I don't know.

Jazzy54 · Answer

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. From now on, I’ll drop hints that I’m interested, but  never  make the first move again.

MzAsh · Answer

They can if they want, but it typically puts themselves into the masculine role and the man in the feminine.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I like to make the first move by just opening up a conversation, however, if she's interested I prefer she ask me for my number. Kind of a give and take situation.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, that would be awesome for me.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Women should at least let a man know she is interested.

Lady_Heart · Answer

Sure if they can but can't just men do that?, us women compesate a lot more for that during the relationship. Men became lazy during relationship so imagine the girl also doing the first move.

Starrrboy · Answer

Yeah , it seems to me that girls are way more happier when they actually choose their guy and not just pick one.. and as a guy who's socially awkward , I get approached by girls all the time and it's just so helpful lol..

ChooChooHaha · Answer

Yes. Both ways in my book. Nothing's wrong with it.

BobbieBoy666 · Answer

Why should we make the first move all the time.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

They won't know if he likes her back if they don't ask. So, they should definitely ask.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Absolutely. Life is too short to let chances pass you by.

Adaeva · Answer

Of course, they should in order to get the guy's attention. However, they don't need to ask.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Except most of them aren't brave enough. Despite all the "boss B" energy they think they put off...

exitseven · Answer

I was very shy around girls when I was younger it might have been nice to get a little encouragement

Katebfun · Answer

Yes, go after what you want. In a feminine and sweet way.

sheenagwapa · Answer

in my culture it's a big No no because you wpuld be seem as desperate even a slut

Raaj4you · Answer

Yes, absolutely! But they don't it. They hide their feelings even if they like some guy. There is one girl I like here on GAG but she has a big EGO problem.

Radiate143 · Answer

They should drop the first hints but never "seal the deal".

Djaay · Answer

Human Chemistry plays no part in policy and procedure.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't care, I always reject women who make the first move, since I am not interested in wasting my time in relationships.

Anonymous · Answer

of course but with femininity. noone likes a domineering chick.

m33ladmjmj · Answer

If she's minus -2 and the guy is +1000! then yes..

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

i feel it should be more socially acceptable, but i doubt it will

the_kisses_of_sun · Answer

I have done this and it never worked out. My lesson was that if he were interested he wouldve made the move first. So the answer is no.

BLP11520 · Answer

Just be careful about doing it. He may take it the wrong way.

Anonymous · Answer

In the West, yes... because of the last 15 years, plain and simple. It's a guy's best defense now.

Nazzyy · Answer

Exactly! It’s almost 2024 we need to be more brave and don’t care.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah why not, it makes things easier being direct with a guy

strateguy632 · Answer

she should. is this bait?

serious_miss419 · Answer

Keep old school traditions. Guys are getting lazy.

Nifrayu · Answer

Of course. That's a no brainer.

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Of course! Or risk them never knowing

more_than_a_guy · Answer

Yes, men appreciate it a lot.

thegreenyogi · Answer

Why not?

whistlingwh0res · Answer

He might fuck you but no relationship

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I WISH THIS WOULD HAPPEN

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Yes.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes they should

Anonymous · Answer

They do people just don't know it

Luopio27 · Answer

Ladies first!

jahaims · Answer

Why not

DreamLife7 · Answer

Nope

Anonymous · Answer

Im good thanks lol

Slim57 · Answer

Absolutely

Anonymous · Answer

A big fat no

Should women make the first move if they are attracted to a guy?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Yes, that would be awesome for me.

Should women make the first move if they are attracted to a guy?

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Yes, that would be awesome for me.

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