Are girls brought up to not do anything in regards to dating and getting boyfriends?

[Unit1]

I had repeated topics with a close friend of mine and one topic we can't go without are women. According to him girls are literally brought up to believe, that their proactivity in dating = bad. And that passiveness is the way to go. However the recruiter girls, who look for candidates for their companies or clients are doing their jobs and are getting paid to be proactive in the job market and headhunting the applicants. I raised a point like "it would be dope if girls would be like that in dating too".

It got me thinking. Since the girls generally don't do anything in dating and finding boyfriends, is it true, that they were brought up to not be proactive in dating? Or is it (like it is in my case), that they were simply never taught how to do that and navigate through dating and finding partners?

yes

no

maybe

other

[Miristheiss]

Today? In the west?

Yes. Feminism, society, culture has given the current batch of 16-30 year olds a huge sense of entitlement. They are all these perfect princesses that should be adored and worshipped and they themselves have no responsibility or accountability. Most women don't grow up thinking about or striving to better themselves, grow, overcome flaws, try to do things to be better girlfriends or wives. Many believe they come perfect as is, it is the men who must jump through 100 hoops, work, strive, get careers, be charming, be romantic, entertain her, give her the feels 24/7, meet all of her needs... she just needs to show up. Every woman "deserves" this and "deserves" that, no man is "good enough", none can accept that some women are just shitty people and they don't "deserve" anything.

Not all but many of the current women think they are perfect princesses and can just do anything they want, every dump whim they have to do is super important and men should just play their traditional roles of paying for everything and supplying all her wants and needs 24/7 and the second things get hard she "deserves" better and moves on, any standards or boundaries he may have is controlling and insecurity. She just gets to do whatever she feels like at all times. She gets her list of 100 requirements because she "deserves" it and it worthy. If he has any standards she needs to meet, how dare he, he is controlling. Poor victim me.

There were very few women like this 50 years ago, now there are tons of women like this.

[blueonblack22]

Generally yes especially if they are at least semi attractive.

But I also think average looking girls get more pressure from their family to seek out a boyfriend/husband. And when I say average I mean looks are 4 to 6 out of 10. But 7s and up are more likely “trained” and warned about the dangers of men.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

When it comes to dating, I remember more of the warnings than any tips and tricks in getting a man to notice you. There are a lot of different things at play both in terms of society alongside a woman’s age and the influences she experiences. One thing is purity culture, the idea that a woman only has value as a virgin for a man who could be a potential boyfriend or husband, otherwise she’s a slut or a whore, it’s given the influence that “if you want a man, you have to be subtle to avoid judgement from your peers.” There’s also the fact that women do not see men the way men see women. Men have hypersexualized views of women in that women are infinitely more sexy than any man just by existing as a feminine form, men have learned that women are to be their priority, that dating women solves most of if not all of their problems with themselves and with interpersonal relationships. For some men, dating a woman is their only interpersonal relationship they have which is incredibly sad.


For women, at least in my experience, it’s more of a minefield because you don’t know what man is a murderer or abusive and you don’t know who’s actually a good person. I remember more warning stories about sexual assault and being careful than advice on how to attract a man

[RoseySarah]

Generally yes look at everything saying don't be desperate be shy dumb and cute.

The number of times I suggested to my friends go on give him a hint is about in the hundreds!

Like suggest something that shows he is not friendzoned! You know he likes you

But also so many guys go I have to know she likes me that way or I'm not asking her!

The huge sign is in front of his face!

So goes goes both ways! Need a middle ground

[tzdc21]

Next time I say screw the hints and just ask him out straight up. Guys don't pick up on tiny little hints like that. We want it simple. Especially if we misinterpret those hints and be called creepy later on.

[Unit1]

You mean like running your hand through your hair? I do that too but it doesn't mean anything. My hair can entangle itself and i disentangle it.

[strateguy632]

huge sign? that is the mystery what do gals think is them showing a huge sign?

[Unit1]

@strateguy632 i imagine it is basically holding up a sign saying "i love you". I have never seen any woman doing that.

[RoseySarah]

Fight boys fight

[Xoxocutekitty]

Keyword is 'brought up.'

My parents always taught me that if a boy likes you, he will make the effort (call, dates, find reasons to talk to you). I've also been warned by aunts or women of older age to not seem too keen, at risk of being easy or having my interest exploited.

I think growing up in schools too, girls sort of decide amongst themselves (hive mind if you will) whether a boy is worth her time or if he'll talk pretty to anything feminine that walks.

In smaller schools, girls often know who likes who and try to respect the so called natural order of things. Intentionally using a direct male dating strategy often causes social ruffling (which most try to avoid). So by parents and peers, girls try to avoid putting themselves in a position where their interest is more obvious than the guys.

[Xoxocutekitty]

I should note: this dynamic changes when you move to a city, somewhere far from where you grew up, or otherwise "grow up."

[monorprise]

That is kind of mean, for girls to all get together a blacklist boys as unworthy of their time. There really are not soo many boys for all women to do this. Nor is such collective judgement particularly by kids just.
If girls want to be picky they have to be proactive in making their choices known. Otherwise women need to accept what they are offered. They need to be kind and ladylike in their judgements.

Not cruel and demanding as they are now taught to be in mimicking boys.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I selected no, but that's only in my experience. My wife was proactive and made it obvious when we first met. I think confidence also needs to be addressed for Young Singman. If it's constantly guest work and they get shut down too many times, that can make it challenging for them to be proactive with the ladies who may be giving hints.

[Anonymous]

What do guys really get from girls nowadays? Nothing. Females today don’t want kids, don’t want marriage, don’t want a meaningful relationship. Women and girls today are annoying, rude, superficial, extremely materialistic, sexist towards men, delusional, emotional, violent, stubborn, the list goes on. The same way girls have a long list of demands, yea I’ll mention the long list of things you lack, things you can't do, and much more. Women today want to date for fun, get a divorce and get money out of it. Men can have everything taken away in divorce because the courts are made that way to go against men. I hope to every narcissistic female that God teaches you a lesson and you’re dealt a painful blow to your conceited female ego. If majority of women die alone just remember you did that to yourself with your foolishness and bitchiness.

[Joshydavid25]

I mean I don't necessarily think women are specifically brought up that way.. I think its more natural than anything.. Men being the naturally more straight forward ones, just happen to take a more active role in pursuing.. Although women can take an active role and some do.. Gender roles or habits many times are just an extension of our natural tendencies..

[JacobJordan]

wife response: I don't know how women in the west are raised but in my culture women are raised to do things to attract a partner. the way we act, dress, talk, treat others, everything we do in public is to be seen as a good partner. it has become less prominent in recent years. but still quite prevalent that women are taught to be women even if we have to work. it is what has made eastern European women so desirable to western men in addition to our own men

[Boomchakalaca]

Usually the guy chases the girl.


If the girl chases the guy its like a guy being proposed to by a women lol

[spartan55]

No one needs to chase anyone really.

[Boomchakalaca]

No there definitely needs to be a chase. It shows how much that person wants to be with u. If ur just gonna say yes to anything then its not exciting or serious

[spartan55]

That's ridiculous. You need games to show how much you want to be with someone? Ha, yeah.. don't think so.

[spartan55]

Where did I say anything about saying yes to anythng?

[Unit1]

Leave dating to the adults.

[spartan55]

Right?

[Boomchakalaca]

Maybe. Thats why ur single?

[spartan55]

Who is?

[Apple1996]

No I wasn't brought up that way. I've always been the type of approach guys first if I like them

[spartan55]

You have no idea how rare you are.

[Apple1996]

@spartan55 really?

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

@spartan55 @Apple1996 a confident woman who realizes she may need to be in the driver seat is a wonderful thing. I Credit my wife, for having the nerve yo approach me when I refused to cross the line of asking a server out on a date. She made it easy.

[Apple1996]

@MiddleAgedClimbee that's cute she approached you first

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

@Apple1996 it was my second visit to the restaurant, I was hoping she might be there because one of my best friends, who happens to be a female, told me I was an idiot for not asking for her number. When I returned to the restaurant and found her, she turned around and gave me her number slip of paper. Our first date was the next day.

[Nikki1989]

I was brought up to go after whatever I want, no matter what that was, men included.

[exitseven]

I was very shy with girls. Even when I knew somebody liked me I still couldn't make a move. Getting a little help might have helped.

[Anonymous]

So... all of our efforts with our hair and makeup and clothes and shoes and nails and jewelry and perfume and showing off our boobs and legs and giggling and flirting are "doing nothing?"

[Pudsmucker]

Women do discreetly check us guys out. A lot of women are very sneaky and conniving when they do so.

[MissBoogus]

I wasn’t brought up in any way, it was just super easy to realize that I don’t need to do anything lol

[ThrillSeeker01]

Some are and some aren't.

[fuddly]

I don't think so
Solly

[Monalisa77]

I certainly was!