You ever feel single because you’re just not with the program?

[Anonymous]

Like I have quite a few friends and don’t really have problems making friends, some of them are married and have good looking wives and stuff but I’ve just never been able to attract many women…

And honestly the older I get, the more I view the world in an extremely nuanced way and I don’t think many people could relate. I don’t have a 4 year college degree and have no interest in getting one, again for nuanced reasons. So that limits my ability to get certain jobs, whether you agree with it or not… I make ok money but I have to sacrifice certain things in life to maintain a food quality of life.

I am just very much on my own path. And it is unique, to be fair. I’ve found myself in all four corners of the continental United States throughout my time and it’s like I don’t intend on staying where I am currently for too much longer either.

It’s like I’m acutely aware that I’m just chasing after SOMETHING… something that I can’t even pinpoint what it is but I feel like when I find it, I’ll know. I don’t aspire to live the corporate lifestyle (can barely tolerate that environment as it is), or to have the “white picket fence” American dream.

I just don’t really care to subscribe to societies norms, just because everyone else does you know? I’m too honest. Too curious and self aware to know that some of that stuff, I just can’t roll over into these camps. Certain news stores. And for example I have friends that feel have really settled in their lives, in some situations where honestly, they could’ve easily done better for themselves in my opinion. Or they’ll buy into things that I know aren’t true, or are easily amused by the next new blockbuster film… I’m just not even interested in that world anymore.

So long winded question, sorry, but could this be why I’m single? I’m just not living a “normie” traditional way of life that is expected by the vast majority of people. It’s like as much as that is my strength, it’s also a weakness.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, I totally feel you. It sounds like you march to the beat of your own drum and aren't interested in living life just like everyone else. Nothing wrong with that at all.

But I could see how it might make connecting with someone a bit harder. Most girls are probably looking for a guy who's a bit more settled down and follows a more traditional path, even if they won't admit it.

That said, there's definitely chicks out there who would vibe with your free spirit way of living too. Just might take some extra searching to find them. Maybe try activities or scenes where open-minded people tend to hang, like art shows, offbeat concerts, outdoorsy stuff.

And don't be afraid to really put yourself out there and talk to lots of girls. Even if they're not immediately interested, some may come around if they see how passionate you are about life. You seem like an interesting cat - own that shit.

Another idea is to travel solo more in your quest for something new. You never know who you might meet that way and really connect with over shared adventures.

Don't change who you are just to please others, but put yourself in position to meet cool people who get you. They're out there, just keep looking dude. Don't settle for normie standards either - you'll find your tribe.