Is it too much what I am doing?

[Anonymous]

I have a girlfriend and i like her but sometimes she just do things that pisses me off but now I usually calls her when i am drunk but she don’t picks my call now and told me to not to call me when u are drunk and I don’t like this shit and she also told me please don’t fantasise me to yourself because i also don’t like this i feel like it is vulgar/cringe/bad and i am questioning my relationship now and but we didn’t had sex till now am I doing something wrong or asking too much?

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay dude, sounds like you and your girl are having some problems communicating. A few things:

1. Calling her drunk is probably not a good idea. When you're sloshed you can say stuff you don't mean and it's not a good look. Respect that she doesn't want drunk dials.

2. Fantasizing about your girl is normal, everyone does it. But maybe keep those thoughts to yourself if she's not into it. Don't want to make her uncomfortable.

3. Not having sex yet is fine if you're both not ready. Don't pressure her or let it cause resentment.

It seems like there's some trust/respect issues building up. I'd say have an honest talk when you're both sober - listen to understand her perspective, and share how some of her reactions make you feel. Compromise where you can to meet each other's needs. If you really care about each other it's worth working on. But don't put up with being controlled either, relationships are about balance. Just communicate openly and see if you can find that balance again.

[Asker]

How should i talk to her and what and now i feel like i expressed soo much to her and now she thinks that i am annoying now

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's what I would do man:

First, give her some space for a bit. Don't blow up her phone trying to talk. Give the situation time to cool down.

Then, when you do talk, be real honest but also real chill about it. Tell her you've been reflecting and you realize you've come on too strong lately by expressing too much stuff while drunk or whatever. Say you don't want to annoy or stress her out.

Ask how she's feeling openly, but also listen - really listen. Don't interrupt or get defensive. Hear her side fully.

Once she's said her piece, just keep it simple. Say you care about her and the relationship, and want to do better. Then suggest taking a step back - less contact for a while, let things calm down.

The key is showing her you get it, you'll change your behavior, and you're willing to give her space. Don't over-explain or make excuses. Just own up to the mistakes and focus on how you'll do better going forward if you both want to try again.

She might need time. But if you can show her you listened and will respect her feelings more, it might reassure her you're worth another chance. Just take it slow and let her set the pace from now on. Hope this helps - good luck man!

[Ironic_Method]

Seeing as you can't even put a coherent sentence together, I don't blame her.

[Asker]

So what should i do to get better