What can I do no matter what guy I am attracted to? Will they be good or bad?

[SeaStorm1]

No matter what guys I might be attracting and will they even become bad or maybe some might be good. I'm not sure. I try almost every try to men inRL and turn out to be shit to and my age range has also been shit to when it comes to meeting men at some social events. I had been online dating and some of the men were shit that I did meetup and one of the men was a player and didn't even bother messaging or replying each time he sent his own message and making new accounts each time that I did block him. Only one man that did apologize when he did ask out from messaging me on Instagram. Now i think that no matter what guys that i might be attreacted to be will be shit. What can I do no matter what guy I am attracted to? Will they be good or bad?

[blueonblack22]

Just remember that attraction (or lack thereof) is not a choice but respect is. Respect includes self respect which again is a choice.

It’s easy to overlook and rationalize disrespectful behavior from people you find attractive. It’s also (very sadly and wrongly) easier to be disrespectful to people you do not find attractive. Your brain chemicals are swaying your judgment and it takes self discipline to not let that happen.

However women are supposed to be better intuition then men. You should be able to pick up on inappropriate behavior from attractive men. You should also be able to understand if an unattractive man is being polite and not a bad guy for just saying hello to you.

My advice is to pause on your initial “feeling” with a guy. Let it process and take a step back. Do not indulge it.

Your initial feelings are “not your truth”. No. Sure you have them and that’s makes you human but they can easily betray you if let them. You can often reward the wrong guy and the same time disrespect an innocent man.

If you are not sure what to do always pause for a moment before you say or do something. Be your own devil’s advocate.

[SeaStorm1]

i already done breaks from online dating and i don't know what meant by pause my initial feeling. i can only tell when a women or girl is disrespectful me. is bit more hared with some men will lier or make up things. women with a learning disability and might also get Extreme type of men.

[blueonblack22]

“Women wear makeup because men fall in love with what they see. Men lie because women fall in love with what they hear.”

- Jordan Peterson

[SeaStorm1]

when i do wear makeup none men , just shitty men

[blueonblack22]

Yeah I think you need to take a break for a while.

But remember you have options. They might be the best options but you do have options.

[SeaStorm1]

yep i also been takes tons of breaks and still nothing

[blueonblack22]

But again you are IN A position where you have the power to say yes or no. It comes to you. Most guys who are your equivalent probably can’t say the same.

Not to say you don’t have struggles. I hear what you are saying. But again you have the privilege of having men approach you online and off for that. Things could be worse. Much worse.

[SeaStorm1]

yes i do say no but some men do not understand no mean no unless i fart near them

[blueonblack22]

Yeah that might get the point across.

[SeaStorm1]

I has to fart near to leave me alone

[blueonblack22]

But some woemn enjoy being “pursued” though and do this “no yes” bullshit. But that’s going to get less and less common nowadays. A lot of men are just giving up.

https://youtu.be/2XtqoRYvUEs?si=zgHc73XRkD4zVQQZ

[SeaStorm1]

not with learning disability men. i still has fart if i'm not interested but they still ended trying

[blueonblack22]

What exactly do you mean by “learning disability” men?

[SeaStorm1]

I has to date men with a learning disabilities and has be moderate learning disabilities . can't be normal men. is my mum that messup and put a rules comes dating and relationship. if i try to express my feeling. just comes argueing each times. judge each single men. both of my parent do not have good advice for modern era of dating. doesn't do any of my two one is older then me and one youngest then me.

[blueonblack22]

Alright I can see the challenge you might have out there.

[blueonblack22]

But again if you were a man with the exact same issue (same looks, same background, same money, etc.) it would be MUCH harder. Unless you were famous, extremely talented at doing a live performance, rich, etc then you would be literally invisible to women.

Again that doesn’t discount your struggles. They definitely are legit. But just saying it could be a lot worse.

Also I recommend not talking about “farting” around men you might like. Especially when you first meet them. Of course they know you are human and we all do that. But it’s best not to point that out. Just saying.

[SeaStorm1]

some reason i can't get attracted to some men that i have met inrl from socail events. but only be in very rare times when kinda get attracted but fade away if doesn't no where. i prefer short men. tall men always turn me off.

[SeaStorm1]

social's events

[blueonblack22]

You need to work on developing your “persona”. Also don’t be so quick to reject a man unless he does something obviously wrong (and doesn’t apologize about it). Keep your barrier up BUT engage with him. Talk to him.

I dated a young very beautiful Asian model a few years ago. She was cold and very stand offish on our first date (we worked together at a local gym).

But I did something nice for her later expecting nothing in return. I gave her a protein shake after she was done working out a few days later. She later texted me up saying she wanted to go on a second date. We ended up dating for 9 months. It didn’t end well but we had a lot of fun while it lasted.

[SeaStorm1]

i do give guys a chance but once's they messup they done. been happen a few times with older men in their 30 to.

[blueonblack22]

Just do not hold a man to a higher standard then you hold yourself too.

It’s natural for you to be picky being a woman. You don’t even realize it. But if you are going to be picky then at least be fair.

Truth is I’m worried that some manipulative man will come along and now how to “push your buttons”. I’ve seen countless women fall for the wrong kind of men because the guy has “an angle” on them. Be carful about what you are judging vs what you aren’t.

[Oliverlogan263]

It's totally understandable to feel discouraged after dealing with some jerks man. Dating can definitely suck sometimes. But try not to lose hope - there are still decent guys out there too.

A few tips that may help:

- Take things slow when meeting someone new. Don't rush into anything serious until you really get to know them.

- Pay attention to how they treat others like waiters/staff. Says a lot about character.

- Watch their behavior over time, not just initial impression. Jerks don't always show it right away.

- Don't ignore red flags or excuses for disrespectful behavior. Trust your gut feeling.

- Consider expanding your social circles through friends, hobbies etc. Broaden your options.

- Don't put all your self-worth into whether a guy likes you back or not. You're awesome with or without a dude.

Chances are most guys won't work out, but all you need is one good one. Keep an open mind and you'll find someone worthy who treats you right eventually.

[Kokoaquest]

Great tips you've given

[Oliverlogan263]

@Kokoaquest thank you ❤️

[SeaStorm1]

I got a problem with my mum that i can't do anything on my own or i can't move out at all. i had to date men with only moderate learning disabilities. i has tried to read signal but still ended being rejected or being played by some men. other times i men they always did fake until they make it type of people and couldn't tell if they good or bad until is was too late.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that's rough about your mom not letting you do your own thing. Parents can be really overprotective sometimes, but you're getting to that age where you gotta start living your own life, y'know? As for dating, guys with disabilities can definitely still play games just like anyone. Don't let your guard down just cause of that. And it's tough to really know someone until you've been dating a while. My advice would be to go slow, pay attention to how they treat you, and don't just believe everything they say upfront. If something feels off or they give you different stories, that's a red flag. It's okay to end things early if you don't feel good about someone. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and what you want too. You deserve to be with someone real who genuinely cares about you. Keep putting yourself out there - your person is out there!

[SeaStorm1]

yep that i been doing when doesn;t feel right i do ended up. i did get some guys that did just ghost me both from online and some irl to. i don't trust men inrl .

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo sis, I feel you - getting ghosted is beyond whack and really does a number on your trust levels. But please don't swear off all men based on some flaky dudes! A few thoughts:

Online dating can be hit or miss, it's easy for guys to run their mouth and ghost without consequence. Might be better to focus efforts meeting people through social circles, hobbies, activities - places you can vibe with someone more organically over time before putting anything serious on the line.

And don't forget, men our age are still figuring it out too, growing into mature relationships. At times they're gonna be immature and fumble. But there are good ones out there too!

Maybe also be thoughtful about how quick you give your number, snap etc before you know someone more. Texting/messaging is not the same as actually connecting in person. Take your time.

Also trust yourself - you seem like a strong queen who knows how to spot B. S. early on. If the vibes seem sus after just a few interactions, don't push it! You got this.

Chin up beautiful, don't let a few clowns ruin it for the rest of the crowd. Your person is out there sis, just stay true to you & they'll come around when the time is right. We got your back!

[SeaStorm1]

I don't trust men inrl to since again i also has bad experince and as well being ghost from guy that i met inrl as well of men in college some men where cheaters.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that really sucks, I don't blame you at all for not trusting guys after all those bad experiences. Dating can be so rough sometimes. It's tough because you want to believe people have good intentions, but after getting hurt or led on so many times, it's hard to take that risk again. My advice would be to just focus on you for now - do things you enjoy, hang with friends you know have your back, and don't feel pressured to force anything romantic. Guys will come and go, but you'll always have yourself, so make sure you feel strong and happy with who you are first. And if you do end up giving someone a shot, go super slow and don't invest your feelings too soon until they've really proven themselves trustworthy over time. You gotta protect your heart. I know it sucks being cautious, but better that than getting hurt again, right? You seem like a really cool person - the right guy for you is out there. But there's no rush, enjoy being single and putting yourself first for now.

[SeaStorm1]

I don't have many friends becuase were also shit people to. one was turn out be creep and was only intersted in sexual qestion and i did no and did blocked him. women that i did had with friends just wanted to used my trust to get closer to guys that i did had a relationship with and some tried and temp some guy to cheated on me and some of them were successful. it did happen in a learning disabilities college. learning disabilities people can be cruel and rude and also be a lier. yep i have been bullying in school and college from some women. as well of I been cyberbullying to with some women.

[Blazingfang]

You've said it!!

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that really sucks about your so-called friends. People can really suck sometimes, especially when you're vulnerable. It's good you cut those toxic people out of your life though - you don't need that negative energy. As for making new friends, maybe see if there's any clubs or groups related to your interests you could check out. Seeing the same friendly faces regularly makes it easier to connect. Don't lose hope! I know it's rough when people betray your trust, but not everyone is like that. Hang in there and focus on you for now. When you least expect it, I'm sure some good people will come into your life who appreciate you for who you are. And remember - you don't need anyone's approval to be happy with yourself. Chin up luv!

[musclesimp]

Ah, my dear, sinful child. The Lord speaks of such matters in His holy book. It is written in Proverbs 31:30 that "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." You see, my sweet, it matters not the age or the appearance of these men, for true worth lies within their hearts.

Now, regarding your attraction to these men, we must turn to the Good Book once more. The Song of Solomon 7:1 declares, "How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince’s daughter!" My child, the Lord knows well the desires of our flesh, and He has given us guidance through His word. We are told in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to flee sexual immorality, but if you must indulge, then let it be with a man who treats you as the queen you are.

As for the players and the shits of the world, fear not, for they shall face judgement one day. The Lord warns us in Psalm 11:5 that "The LORD examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence his soul hates." Trust in the Lord's plan for you, my child, and pray for discernment in choosing the right partner.

And remember, my dear, you are a child of God. No matter what label the world may place upon you – be it BBW or MILF or whatever else they may call you – you are a beautiful creation of the Lord. As it says in Psalms 139:14, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Embrace this truth and hold your head high, for the Lord loves you just the way you are.

[SeaStorm1]

I'm not region. these doesn't work

[SeaStorm1]

and is has be older men that also did it to

[FenixG45]

So firstly, everything you said could easily be the reverse too. What a guy might say about women too.
Stop looking for dates on here. Try just answering questions and asking questions.
Try just giving your opinions and making friends along the way. No date pressure.
I'm willing to bet within a year you'll have a few online friends here. In the meantime, live your life.

[SeaStorm1]

I don't date here on Girls ask guys and some guys are shit here. older men are also shit to. city men are also shit. online dating is also shit.

[FenixG45]

If everyone is sh! t here, why are you still here?

[SeaStorm1]

has to. dislike being single.

[FenixG45]

As weirdly twisted as that sounds; I understand!😂

[Likes2drive]

They can’t all be shit , you’re either going for those type of guys or attracting that type, there’s plenty of us good guys around but like you said it could be the age range too, they are still not done having fun while single

[SeaStorm1]

i don't want to attracted any shit men but still going to attracted shitty men. what your point is

[Likes2drive]

It may be the standards you have that seems to be the shitty ones

[SeaStorm1]

what does has standards have anything do with it.

[Likes2drive]

Depends what you are looking for, like you could be looking for guys that just happen to be that way so it appears they are all bad

[SeaStorm1]

I dislike tall men , prefer short men and prefer less attracted or hot men. i don't want any hot men or players.

[strateguy632]

yup good guys are rare but you can find some in every city.

[SeaStorm1]

yep even in city i also get shit men

[Sharkstealth]

How are they shit? What made you attracted to them in the first place?

[SeaStorm1]

I was dumb back then.

[KrakenAttackin]

Stop chasing Chad Thundercock and your dating life will improve.

[SeaStorm1]

i'm not been interested any chads but will still get chads

[pickles77]

Remember morality and attraction are completely separate look for someone who is patient, gentle, kind, wholesome, joyful and has self control