3 mo

How to deal with being attracted to the wrong guys? attraction vs protecting my mental health/happiness?

nocturnalbaby
For as long as I can remember, I've had an annoying problem where I've always been attracted to the wrong guys - guys that are considered the 'cool' guys, the ones that enjoy partying, drinking, being a fuckboy, etc. even though I know those types of guys aren't right for what I want (a proper committed relationship), I'm still attracted to them & I feel jealous of all the girls who actually get to be in their lives, whether it's as a partner or just as a friend. As someone who has never been able to have a proper friendship or relationship with guys like that due to my shy, quiet personality & lack of opportunity to meet guys like that, I just feel jealous even knowing that those girls get to be followed on social media by guys like that, whilst the most I can ever get from a guy like that is getting them to add me on snapchat just to talk to me in private for sex & nothing else. they would never follow or add me anywhere or try to get to know me.

On the other hand, there are plenty of good guys that are actually willing to get to know me & take me out, and are actually caring, but I'm just not usually to attracted to the guys that have treated me well. sometimes I find that they come across as simps, which is a major turn off.

So what am I supposed to do? cause if I date a cool guy, I'll be happy to be with someone who I find attractive physically & emotionally too, but I'll be unhappy if he sleeps with other girls & cheats & parties all the time, which is expected & common behaviour of a guy like that.

Whereas with a nice guy, they'll treat me well & keep me happy mentally, but deep down I will be unhappy knowing I'm not that attracted to them & that I'll always be wishing I was with a 'cool' guy. So either way, it seems I won't be satisfied & there will always be a lack of something. How am I supposed to ever find an appropriate partner if I can't get someone that can at least fulfil some basic traits? I'm not asking for perfection.
How to deal with being attracted to the wrong guys? attraction vs protecting my mental health/happiness?
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