? Can guys not want to be physically romantic while being attracted to you? I’ve been on 2 dates and both said they “didn’t feel it” is it me?

[Zee1223]

I’ve been going on some great dates lately, for me I usually don’t know if I like someone until we kiss, but I’m usually reserved because I was in a field that required a lot of compartmentalising so that part of myself unless I feel comfortable is closed off. I’ve been going on these dates and felt we were flirty, and thanked them for the meal after with a text, both messaged me afterwards saying they thought I was amazing and so fascinating, but that they just didn’t feel it. I never have had this problem before and just started dating after getting back from a huge trip after a breakup, I have a lot of change going on including figuring out where I want to be, but even before I would have people try to kiss me, I even went out with someone in the medical field and it was a 50 minute date he asked to see me again, but no kiss. Are these people looking for like soul mates, or is it that all of the common themes is that they aren’t attracted to me. I’ve never dealt with this before, and I thought back to the dates I was kind, considerate, a good listener, funny and witty, and didn’t talk about myself in excess. Is it me and my looks? I know this may seem like a vain question, and I don’t know if I’m wrong. I live in LA, but I’m just wondering what’s going on here. Any thoughts are helpful.

[Anonymous]

I know this always comes as a shock to women and they don't like to acknowledge it but guys have feelings to. Maybe we don't always wear them as readily as women but it's done out of our expectations of us as men.

If a guy isn't willing to be physically romantic with you it's because one of 2 things 1. he's simply not attracted to you. Since you're dating him that seems unlikely. 2. He doesn't feel connected to you. I know this is hard for me because when women seem to show affection to me it always seems at the most random times. Like she's not doing it as an expression of her feelings towards me but more as an act to trigger and effect and that's a turnoff to me. No one likes to be manipulated.

[Zee1223]

Yes good points definitely didn’t do any of that.

[Opinion Owner]

You say that, and you might be telling the truth. Doesn't mean he believes that. He's either playing you. Or he thinks you're playing him. Since I don't know own either of you I don't know which it is.

[Guy13]

Yes as we are not in a rush and want to see the quality of the person we are dealing with.

[Zee1223]

The only reason I was confused is other than the medical person who left after 50 minutes all the other dates were over 3/4 hours, so did they enjoy their time they just didn’t think it was a match with me?

[Guy13]

It is probably that was good but "greener grass" mentality. People and their decisions will drive one crazy or at least to drink if we allow it...