Am I in the wrong?

[CJfeelsLost]

So my girlfriend of 2 years and I had a conversation not too long ago where we reflected on state of our relationship last year and we admitted to each other that we both had wandering thoughts about people we were attracted to during our rough patch last year.
She mentioned a longtime friend of hers among the 2 people she thought of as potential replacements for me and that kind of shook my foundation and made me less secure in the relationship. Since we hashed it out it wasn't an issue but he responded to her IG story just complimenting her and I didn't think much of it. She then posted a promo deal a day spa is offering and he responded offering to get her one of the packages. The main reason she had wandering thoughts was my financial situation and my lack of stability and I feel like her acceptance of this will further affirm this. Even though I am actively working on this, it still has me feeling extremely uncomfortable. Essentially I just want to know if I'm being insecure for being apprehensive of the idea or if it's fair. Am I being insecure or is the background of the situation enough to validate my feelings?
PS. He's abroad and I think it's indefinite but that didn't stop him being my "competition" last time so what's different now?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s being insecure. Your relationship was affected when she shared that your financial situation and lack of stability was an issue. And that in itself can cause someone to be insecure. Especially if the relationship is rocky and she’s admits that she had other potential interests. If you're working on bettering your situation and y’all are still together then she needs to have patience and work on herself as well. I wouldn’t care if the man was in Jupiter, if this was a person my partner possibly had thoughts on leaving me and going to be with them then yes- it would affect me to see them interacting on social media. Trust goes a long way. What people fail to realize is that trust comes with helping your partner feel secure. So whether they are just friends or not- she should be thinking about what will help y'all, and if no longer interacting with this man from abroad helps then she should stop communicating with him. A good relationship is a partnership. Both working together to in order to build a good foundation as one. However, is she the type of person you want?

[SueShe]

If you have a backup plan with a potential other partner during an argument, then it is already too late to mend whatever is (or was) wrong.

You will always keep in mind what she said and did and you will not be able to forget this uneasy feeling when she started looking around to replace you with someone that is perhaps a little more stable.

You had similar plans and the consequence is that you will not work as hard to try to patch up the relationship, knowing that you can always chose the easy way out.

Yes, you are being insecure because your apprehension is not something that you can get over so easily. All it takes is a new serious argument and both of you will most likely pass the point of no return.

[CJfeelsLost]

We both stated and reassured each other that it was more "intrusive thoughts" than a backup plan or escape route. Comparisons took place but ultimately we want to be with each other.

I'm not holding a grudge at all. It's just that it's hard to forget a name if it's recurring.

We are both actively trying to fix where we feel we went awry last time so again, the work is being put in.

I won't lie, I probably am a bit insecure.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to this. I'm not defending myself just providing clarity. I understand all your points and I acknowledge their validity as well.

[SueShe]

It always takes 2 for a situation or relationship to degenerate.

[Nikki1989]

Insecure people don't belong in relationships.

[Anonymous]

Possibly