Should I date a guy I'm not attracted to?

Question

For some reason every time I like a guy and attracted to one he never likes me back. Its always the guys I have no attraction too thats all over me. Its annoying but I dont know I've been single for so long maybe I should give up and date a guy I'm not attracted to. There is one guy I am KIND OF attracted too even though the thought of kissing him kind of irks me a little.

Should I date a guy I'm not attracted to?

Answer 1

Anonymous

Alright so, PHYSICAL attraction is no problem, as long as they don't look ''ugly" to you, & ill tell you why in a bit. What you DO need though in this scenario (or pretty much any time, regardless) is attraction to the guy's personality. So you might like funny guys, or sweet guys, or confident guys, etc. As long as you like and are attracted to his personality, you should give him a chance. Why? Not because of the sappy moral thing people will give you, but because physical attraction develops when you're interested in someone.
When you like someone, and your attachment to them grows, your standard of beauty also changes for them alone. He/She will grow to become cuter to you. Because beauty is made up in your mind and is highly influence-able.
That's why when you break up with an ex or something after a bad fight, years later you look back and you go "ugh i can't believe i was into that" - it's cause their own self was put in a bad light and thus their beauty and physical attraction goes down. Get it?

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Answer 2

Diskid

Xper 5

I'm in the same boat.

None of the guys I like ever feel the same way about me and the guys that do like me I find revolting.

Therefore, I am 30, single, and never had a boyfriend. I refuse to date anyone that I don't like or feel any attraction to. And I won't settle for someone, just in order to say I have something that I want (a boyfriend).

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Answer 3

acooke-13 | 168 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Yoda

I wouldn't date a guy I have absolutely no attraction too whatsoever, but I did date a guy for almost two years that I wasn't physically attracted to until later in the relationship, I was initially attracted to his personality when I got to know him, and grew to love his looks later for some reason

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Answer 4

GingerGuy | 876 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Master

Be happy with yourself, your life and being single and keep looking. You must have some attraction or you're not going to be 100% happy. Sure, you've got a relationship now, yay, but are you going to be happier? Not likely, probably more unhappy. You'll end up breaking up with him anyway at some point and you've gone and hurt someone else in the process. Now you've got 2 unhappy people! Attraction is important, along with personality etc. Now, having said that, I would give some guys a change that maybe aren't "perfect". Like, if you have some attraction, but maybe not totally, yes give them a try. That attraction can definitely develop and grow as you get to know them more.

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Answer 5

CZLumen

Xper 5

That's rough.
Honestly you should date people you like, that's your decision and leading someone on will waste both of your time.

A blanket statement i have for anyone with dating problems is focus and work on yourself. Find a hobby you can be passionate about, do something social like dance, get in and be physically fit, smell nice, figure out what hair style works best with your facial shape. Get a well tailored suit. Even on women they look great.

That's usually for guys though.

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Answer 6

dmgstarfleet

Yoda

Why you/re every man's dream- a girl who 'settles" for him. Sex will forever be a contract with him starving for it during times he fails or falls short of whatever you think important at the time! Men dream of this type of relationship all their lives!! Don;t worry-your "pretty" will last FOREVER and your "market value" won't slip a bit!!

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2 People

SanHoloz

+1 y
I think this is a little harsh. She doesn't seem conceited or wanting to use him or even that she's better than the guy. I think giving him a chance may be a good move. Maybe she has an unrealistic idea of what she wants in a partner and ignores guys with potential who dont fit that image. If she hasn't spent any time with the guy then the attraction would be based purely on just looking at him, which yes physical attraction is important but there are other types of attraction.

Settling would be getting into a relationship KNOWING nothing is there but she is getting with him bc she can/might as well. Simply dating different types of guys is perfectly okay. This also doesn't mean she has to sleep with them.

OP, some of these answers are assuming a lot about you, and the future you'd will have with these guys which is grounded in nothing. Dating is okay, test the waters, maybe you'll find someone you never expected.

Answer 7

SanHoloz

I think this is a little harsh. She doesn't seem conceited or wanting to use him or even that she's better than the guy. I think giving him a chance may be a good move. Maybe she has an unrealistic idea of what she wants in a partner and ignores guys with potential who dont fit that image. If she hasn't spent any time with the guy then the attraction would be based purely on just looking at him, which yes physical attraction is important but there are other types of attraction.

Settling would be getting into a relationship KNOWING nothing is there but she is getting with him bc she can/might as well. Simply dating different types of guys is perfectly okay. This also doesn't mean she has to sleep with them.

OP, some of these answers are assuming a lot about you, and the future you'd will have with these guys which is grounded in nothing. Dating is okay, test the waters, maybe you'll find someone you never expected.

Answer 8

Deydey12345 | 220 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Some day your taste will change and you will be attracted to those guys you're not right now.. It's what always happens to me, it takes years but it happens. So yeah date them..

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Answer 9

talksTooDamnMuch

Xper 2

Yes I think you should give him a chance, dating him does not mean you have to kiss him.
The worst that can happen is you wasted 1 hour of your life if you realise you don't like his way of being at all (and you can just friend zone him if there are advantages). At best, you might be surprised to see how easy it will be to overcome the physical appearance if he is a really cool and interesting guy.

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2 People

Answer 10

WhistleForTheChoir

Xper 6

Maybe you're not attracted to men who are attracted to you?

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Answer 11

HappyWheels

Xper 5

Without reading anything other than the question, the answer is no. No you do not date someone you're not attracted to. Sooner or later you'll regret it if you do.

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3 People

Answer 12

abc3643 | 696 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Master

No. Sexual chemistry - of which attractiveness is critical - is absolutely necessary in the early years of a relationship.

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1 Person

Answer 13

hiro007

Xper 1

If ur not attracted to the guy and not sure that u will be able to love him back i think u should not date him as this will give him false hope and break his heart. U can't just use him for ur entertainment. U should wait for the right guy.

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1 Person

Answer 14

zzzondarrr

Xper 6

No, keep searching for someone to whom you'll be mutually attracted, there are a lot of such guys for sure, you just need to search more effectively...

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1 Person

Answer 15

jjhonn

Xper 5

Yeah. Why don't you go ahead and become the thing you are complaining about in this post... maybe that will make you feel better.

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1 Person

Answer 16

Anonymous

Would you want a guy to do the same? if so, then go ahead...

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1 Person

Answer 17

hshsjsjdhdhsxh

Xper 4

OH HELLL NAHHHH THAT WOULD JUST HURT HIM MORE

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Answer 18

iNsaneMilesy

Xper 3

No... Unless you are a whore.

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Answer 19

anametouse

Explorer

I don't know, do whatever you want, just don't play the guy

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1 Person

Answer 20

BaddieBunny12

Xper 6

Omg same here girl!!!

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Answer 21

Raneetha

Xper 3

Yes if he loves you madly else NO

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Answer 22

Iamaguy4real | 167 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

Sounds like your standards are too high, so yes.

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Answer 23

DesiBeautyLover

Yoda

Lol. Story of my single life

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Answer 24

Anonymous

Honestly, if you're not attracted to him, it's dishonest to pretend you do. I'd be hurt if someone did that to me.

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1 Person

Answer 25

LegateLanius

Master

If you are not attracted, why force it.

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2 People

Asker

+1 y
Because I am forever alone :(
LegateLanius

+1 y
well, you can't change who you are attracted to, but it is never too late. A buddy of mine thought he was forever alone, he was in his early 40's, obese , still living with mom and pop, and had only dead end jobs. He met a woman one day who made his head spin. He lost about 200 pounds, got his own place, got a good job and asked her out. They are now husband and wife with beautiful children. It is never too late, unless you give up and die

Answer 26

Asker

Because I am forever alone :(

Answer 27

LegateLanius

well, you can't change who you are attracted to, but it is never too late. A buddy of mine thought he was forever alone, he was in his early 40's, obese , still living with mom and pop, and had only dead end jobs. He met a woman one day who made his head spin. He lost about 200 pounds, got his own place, got a good job and asked her out. They are now husband and wife with beautiful children. It is never too late, unless you give up and die

Answer 28

Aguamarina

Xper 6

Nope just no.

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