What do I have to do to attract a good guy?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

1. Make a list of what's really important to you, and then rank that list.
2. Now, anything below Item 7 on your list, chop off. You'll have plenty of trouble finding the first 7 in one guy.
3. Figure out what a guy like your target guy likely wants in a girl (and be realistic and think from the male perspective, not your own). Then ask yourself "I'm *I* that type of girl?" If not, what can you do to close the gap?
4. You need to get off your phone/computer and GO OUTSIDE and get involved in activities where you're likely to meet single men. You should be doing an activity at least 2 days a week.
5. Introduce yourself and strike up conversations with guys. I'm not saying to ask them out on dates - just TALK to them. Some you will quickly figure out that you have NO interest in, and you can end the conversation and move on. Others, you'll find very interesting and you can learn more. But you need to take an ACTIVE role in the process.
6. If a guy you are interested in shows interest in you, you MUST show interest in him in return. That means eye contact, smiling, hugs, touching his hand/arm, laughing at his jokes, involving him in your conversations/activities, etc. And do these things for him ONLY (at least when he's around).

You aren't going to know if a guy is a good person until you spend some time around him and see not only how he treats you, but how he treats other people. That means you're going to have to invest some time and effort when you encounter a likely candidate - and you're going to have to be disciplined enough to end it if you discover that he's a jerk, NO MATTER how hot he is or how much you like him. It's a filtering process, and you are the filter, and if you don't actually filter out the bad guys, then you will suffer the consequences.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

There are several things that come to mind here. First and foremost, you need to be the woman that good guys want. That's the most important thing in my opinion. If you'e looking for a man in the 85% percentile of desirability then you'd better also be a woman in the 85% percentile of desirability yourself. Men have standards too, and the more desirable a man is, the higher his standards are going to be, as they should.

That brings me to my second point: check your own standards. I have talked to soooo many women who rattle off a list of requirements they have for the man of their dreams, and most seem to believe they need to hold out for that man. The truth is there are very few men in this world who will ever meet those standards, and the ones that do are going to end up with the top tier of available women, and most women do not fall into that top tier. Both men and women have this problem, but it is far more prevalent among women than men. Yes, hypergamy is real and women have it bad.

Finally, stop being passive in the dating game. Despite all the talk about equality and abolition of gender roles, the vast majority of women still sit back and wait for men to approach them, and still see that as the way it's "supposed to be". The truth is women severely limit their options in dating by being passive. Most guys love it when a woman approaches them, even if they are not interested in her. It's an ego boost, just like it is for women. But don't fall into the trap many women do who say "I know men don't like to be approached by women because I tried it and got rejected". Well no shit! Guys get rejected 95% of the time they approach women. Why would you expect it to be any different for women?

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

There's no real way of knowing who's good or bad right off the bat. You can't just look at strangers and tell if they are good or bad, no one is physic. It kills me when guys tell us to "choose better men" but then complain about women expecting them to know how to read our minds. Just like them, we don't know a if a guy is good or bad, that's why we date in first place to get know who people are and unfortunately some people are really good at hiding who they are sometimes. Sometimes bad guys can be obvious and have red flags waving in your face and sometimes he won't. Same goes with women. It's all about taking your time, and really studying someone close and far while getting to know that person. Then sit down and make a list, if the bad out weights the good then you will know that person is not a good match for you.

jacerach · Accepted Answer

Ah what a question lol

Well first off you must be confident, happy and overall in a good place in your life. No addictions such as drink or drugs. Thats really just a start of what attracts a healthy partner. It all comes down to evolution. The strong and healthy pick a strong and healthy female to reproduce with and spread genes. Anyone suffering from illness are less likely to attract a healthy partner. In the long run, luck and age range comes into play. I see you are in the early twenty age range, most likely the partner you are seeking are not looking for a commited relationships right now.

Logorithim · Answer

Approach them. Choose carefully.  Sometimes luck is involved.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Stop talking to bad boys and be a good girl.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

First be a good girl, a good guy is going to want a good girl which means being moral, being nurturing and empathetic and kind. Second you will probably need to be more on the look out because a good guy doesn't want casual sex and as such is going to be less active in his search for a good girl because what he wants is her personality and behavior rather then her body so he needs time to see that while a guy who is looking for casual sex or is a "bad boy" doesn't care about those things so he will go and hit on any girl he sees. So avoid the guys who are aggressively or overtly sexual. Look for guys who are not those things and then you will probably need to be a bit more assertive with your intentions (you'll need to make it very obvious your interested (without it being overly sexual)) because they are going to be more cautious (they are not looking for numbers they are looking for quality and as such are going to have more invested in her that will make rejection worse then if it was something casual so he is going to be looking for signs of interests more then taking chances). That's about it really, they are numerous but they tend to be more cautious by nature so you need to ignore the guys who are to aggressive while looking for the ones who are not.

Aethereal · Answer

First, I suggest that you define the specific features of what makes a guy "good" to you. They might be different from other people's definition of "good". Some traits I consider to be good guy traits for example are: Loyalty, patience, consideration, compromise, attentiveness, honesty, principles. You might have others, or not care for some of them.

Next, check if you have those traits, or are willing to adopt them. Basically; do you have the traits that you believe a good guy would be attracted to? Depending on your definition of a good guy, there are some traits, habits, etc. you have that will turn them off.

When you find him; don't beat around the bush thinking that he'll come to you if you smile or look at him. Clearly show your interest, and try not to get hung up on silly minor things. From your comments on other answers, you seem to be a person of quality. Keep that in mind, but don't let it go to your head, and cause you to start building a long list of impossible requirements.

Finally, I'll repeat that you should strive to be the type of person that you want your good guy to be.
They say opposites attract, but I think that kind of attraction leads to an inevitable messy collision. If you are a good person, good guys will want to be around you. If you hang around bad guys, the good ones will stay away.

Dongtai · Answer

Be a good girl.

Good does not mean boring or inhibited. Good girls can be fun in bed. Good girls can be adventurous and daring.

By good I assume you mean treats you like a decent human being. Be a decent human being. Don’t allow anyone to treat you like you’re not a decent human being. You’ll turn off those who are bad and pull in those that are good.

Respectful
Supportive
Trustworthy
Honest
Compassionate
Selfless
Humble
Confident

These are traits of a decent human being. Please don’t confuse good with boring. They are not interchangeable

lernulo · Answer

I think the most important thing is to have the right standards.

Ask yourself what a good guy is to you and give it green flags, and what are the things you really don't want it deviate and give it red flags.
A good set of flags is really very effective to a woman.
And be congruent with them, don't give green flags to intelligence and red flag to glasses.
(I know this must sound stupid but there was a woman who made it, showing that she didn't know almost all intelligent guys wear glasses).
Second thing if you don't get one with it, would be, live a life more near to what you like.
(if you like sport men with highly good looking, try to stay at least good looking)

Ljd213 · Answer

To attract good guys, all you need to be is friendly and welcoming to invite to your life. Also, its always easy to tell who is a bad boy and a good person. We, men are simple and not that difficult to understand.

If you find a guy that just want to make some quick "Lets f**k" moves and forget about knowing each other. You should understand that person isn't really a good guy and wants to just screw your body for pleasure.

In addition, some good guys still like a good looking girl. So if you aren't a good looking girl, it will just push some good guys away from dating you. They will be your friend instead.

CubsterShura · Answer

The first condition is to be a good person yourself. Someone that a 'good guy' would want to be with. But the problem is, you won't just attract good guys when you're good yourself, you will also attract those who aren't good as well.

To weed them out, you need knowledge. Remember, knowledge is power. Gather knowledge about early warnings that a guy wouldn't be a good partner. The real reason why many girls end up with bad guys or feel attracted towards them aren't because they are thots or whores, in fact it's the opposite. It is because mostly they are too inexperienced and NAIVE and hence bad guys see them as an easy target to misguide and misuse. When you are knowledgeable about relationships, dating etc and you learn what kind of behavior you need to look out for, you will dodge a lot of bullets in the future.

MedievalDestiny · Answer

I have the same problem finding a good girl. But I would say your best bet is to give everyone a chance because people can surprise you. I’d also say if you recognize red flags to recognize them soon and act accordingly.

Most people find the right person when they are not looking, but I will say that you need to like yourself before others will like you. That being said my grandfather used to say “tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.” Perhaps look at the company you keep and it will help?

I hope I helped. Good luck in your search.

rjroy3 · Answer

Define the type of guy you like/want.

Figure out what's that type of man is looking for.

Highlight the aspects have your personality that are aligned with those things and if there are things you need to work on, then work on those things.

Put yourself in the environment those types of men frequent.

Go to this girly's page. She has some pretty good material for you
instagram.com/hayleyquinnx?igshid=1drv5p01geqja

LegendarySir · Answer

Be a good girl. Be a good human being, respectful, humble, with decent values, morals and ethics, follow what you believe in.
Build relationships with people. Talk to everyone and eventually you will meet a guy with whom you get along, share the same values, someone you find attractive, who wants to be with you.

Be the best version of yourself and talk to as many people as you can. It takes time to meet the right person, but it doesn't matter, you'll still meet a lot of people who will make you better.

GuidoThePizzaMaker · Answer

1) Dont be a slut 2) Dont be rude 3) be friendly 4) Meet him within your community 5) Make sure he asks to meet your parents 6) Make sure he talks about the future, and that future includes a family

seantwins0543 · Answer

So. I've read your updates, and I think people think that because all of the bad boys get more attention and all of the good guys get mad about it, even though all they want is someone to get to know then and care about them before they just move onto the next person

youwannaknow21 · Answer

I dont think you have to do anything besides be a good person and let your personality shine. At some point your going to meet the prince you just have kiss a few frogs along the way ya know? Trust me lots of guys are asking themselves the same question about how to get a good girl. Hope that helps!

Function · Answer

You are a woman. If you ask any guy out, they will more than likely say yes. However, that depends on your definition of a good guy. One might argue that a good guy would decline your offer. Just make friends with dudes that have goals beyond their minimum wage paycheck. Even a silly dream they aspire to shows the guy cares about something. And if he has such a care for anything, he might really care about you as well and perhaps reveal what a good guy really is.

elissa23Trans · Answer

Show the best of yourself and be genuine in your actions. You can’t force yourself to be a certain way to attract a good guy. You can only be yourself and hope that some good guy will recognise that in you and appreciate that. Love is not an exam you can take classes in. You gotta work with the peddles you have been handed.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Have you met any where you are who you happen to find attractive and see around on occasion? If yes, break the ice. Getto know them and who knows... something could come of it. Otherwise, there isn't really a formula that will guaranteed you meet who you seek. After all, that is the point of dating - getting a feel for another.

Best of luck.

JackSmy · Answer

Maybe just be yourself, and maybe notice some guys, that maybe you didn't notice, before! Some of them may not have the social skills, to get your attention, but what if that guy, is the one you really connect with, if you take the time to meet, and talk, and get to know each other.

Thatswhyimhere · Answer

Just be a good person. I hate to say it but it is a fact. You probably have to go to a church, temple, or mosque to find some. Plug into the community.

Not saying you can’t find one someplace else. Filter are in place at places like that. Quality of persons will be higher.

AynonOMouse · Answer

Be a good girl that is worth it to a good guy. I'm a good guy but there are VERY few good girls that would match my standards. I even wrote about it, but G@G hides MyTakes. lol

CuriousGuyP1 · Answer

Be more straight up with what you want. Don’t rule out a guy too early just because he does something weird like take the time to get to know him almost like a friend but don’t friend zone home. Be down to Earth and human. And don’t think just because he’s not aggressive or makes a move he’s not interested he’s probably taking his time to get to know you.

ChocolateBrowny · Answer

Be good to yourself in every aspect of your sex life and actual life and they won't elude you. Also you might think if your sex life is promiscous that when you get a good guy it'll be alrite, but trust me it won't. He will leave. You know what is good and what is bad. Cut out the bad and be confident that one day a good guy will be around and either one of you approaches each other.

throwsomecheeseonit · Answer

What is your idea of a good guy. Most guys that say they are aren't. Also I have noticed usually in time frame when you are attracting people that are bad it's best to be single and reflect on your self. After you find what you really want then go back out there and try again. How you perceive yourself often exudes out when people approach you.

MzAsh · Answer

Have high standards, firm boundaries, and do as you please. Be confident and interesting. Show your intelligence. The right men will come your way.

Omar21 · Answer

I have the same questions the other way around , but what is a good guy? I have a friend who lots of girls consider a good partner , or husband or lover x and his secret is as simple as , planning everything , even the reasons for loving him more x but there is a certain group of women who consider , that not feeling it with 'feelings' , insted palnning it and finding reasons and purpouses for a long awesome realtionship with the mind.

A-man-22 · Answer

Keep some minimum safety standards but don't constantly date the same kind of guys.

Ask guys out you like, don't wait for them

Be fair

Don't be too fast with the relationship, this is to protect you and to give you time to see if you do like him.

Mamamialetmego · Answer

There are way more good guys than bad guys you know that right? So attracting them or finding them shouldn't be hard.

BUT i believe you want someone mixed with good and bad guy specialities.

You are looking for someone strong, confident aka masculine but also good person not a bad one. Those are rare i think.

beekeeper · Answer

avoid the bad guys. Be genuine. Dont play mind games or try to manipulate others. dont be a snob. You likely already know some good guys that you have not paid any attention to. Look around you and count how many good guys are there off in the fringes of your circle.

hilly90 · Answer

Keep looking, and the right person will come along. It's just a matter of time, but when you find that person, the time spent looking will be 100% worth it. 😊

PinkMichae · Answer

In my experience it was just throwing myself out there and really getting to know a man before getting emotionally envolved. There are a lot of good guys out there. It's just the matter of finding the right good guy for you.

sean1234 · Answer

Just be modest. Date a true Christian wants to have sex only when married for starters.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Simple. Be a decent woman yourself.  What does that mean? Be honest, be humble, be nice, don't whore around and you should attract what you yourself are.

Tyffen · Answer

Be: - Kind - Feminine - Clean - Respectful - Positive

Sensmind · Answer

All the cliches, be yourself, don't change unless you want to , be patient and the right guy for you will probably come along

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Dont wear makeup, wear a knee or just above knee length dress, have long hair, go to church, dont drink or smoke or go to bars or clubs, dont act like a slut. Simply do that and good men will start coming around.

BeHappy1985 · Answer

See a psychologist to resolve your daddy issues, this isn't a matter of wrong guys being attracted to you, it is a matter of you being attracted to them.

BeMuse · Answer

Every guy is different. You have to figure them out one at a time.

Kdude010 · Answer

If you need to ask this question, then you are definitely not girlfriend material for "good guys". There is a reason they are not attracted to you.

Note for girls:
When guys are not talking to you, it doesn't always mean that they're shy and attracted to you.

They're probably actually not interested/or attracted to you.

ManOnFire · Answer

Don't keep going after badasses while complaining about not finding a good man. Don't pretend to be a good, wholesome girl while you're hooking up on the side.

El_Heffe · Answer

Love yourself it shows and thst attracts guys. The rest you have already.

fred_durst · Answer

you start to approach , rather than just waiting someone to approach

dog1712 · Answer

It will just happen one day but you will probably meet a lot of dickheads on your way so just be careful

HollyF · Answer

Good guys are a lot like moths, so just open up some windows and leave a light bulb on

The6ix · Answer

Be genuine, honest, separate yourself from the rest of the pack (other girls), I think guys tend to be more chill we don't over analyze on things, well at least I don't.

stevejobless · Answer

It's hard to attract a particular kind of guy. You have to just attract more guys in general and then weed out the good ones. That's the tough part of being a girl

Kylieishere · Answer

Be yourself and you'll find the right guy cuz if u ain't yourself he will love you for the fake you girl.

Browneye57 · Answer

Develop high-value qualities. Do you know what that might be?

YHL6965 · Answer

Be a good girl but, most importantly, learn to identify them. A lot of good guys are dismissed early and they don't even have a chance to show you they are good persons.

Hidden_P · Answer

Well... you don’t. But an announcement like that, don’t expect sympathy when it goes wrong?

Secret6620 · Answer

Be your most authentic self and be confident. 🌺

zagor · Answer

How are we supposed to advise you when you have a fucking PRIVATE profile so we don't know even what continent you live in. Do you live in Riyadh, or London? Tokyo, or Mumbai? Los Angeles, or Rio?

Physics-Man · Answer

I'm an extremely nice guy. Here I am. Start attracting me.

Anonymous · Answer

you need to be a good girl and you cannot become one. you're either one or you're not. and if you're not attracting good guys now that's saying something about you i guess

FatherJack · Answer

Not a lot really , you are in THE most desirable demographic , 20 's female.

Azazeres · Answer

Be you, and also, the best guys are the ones who aren’t the most attractive.

GD360 · Answer

Got to look in right places. You don't find flamingos in the desert or dalphins in the forest.

Anonymous · Answer

Be a good girl and don't waste your time with bad guys in the hopes "they'll change".

StickStickity13 · Answer

They are everywhere, but you usually don't recognize them

Daniel3035 · Answer

Always travel as a group with your friends.  Always give him eyes like the other girls who led him on.  Always avoid him in public.

What do I have to do to attract a good guy?

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