Is this long distance relationship worth pursuing?

[Anonymous]

I matched with a guy on hinge from Greece who put that he was looking for a long term relationship. I wanted traveling advice there but we exchanged instas and have been talking for almost two weeks. He said he sees a future with me and deleted his hinge account but I felt he came off strong talking about wanting to kiss me and find me beautiful, nothing sexual but I felt like I was being lovebombed but still made regular convo regardless throughout the day despite the seven hour time difference. He talked about how after the army in May, he’s coming to the U. S to stay with his friend and work for 3 months and talked about the future of us meeting. He’s been busy and apologized for the late responses and let me know ahead of time he’s gonna be spending time with his family while he’s on break from the army. I tried ending it with him because he was lovebombing me and felt he wasn’t as interested because I had a weird gut feeling or maybe could be my anxious attachment style. He spammed and apologized saying he’s busy these days and to give him time and I told him I’m looking for a relationship where I see a future with someone and he said he’ll stop being intimate on text and try to get to know me better. I asked how many girls he was talking to he said “Since going to the army with no one. Only on hinge with 2 other girls but I closed hinge already, it’s not worth it now.” I suggested he’s better with other girls cause I’m probably not priority and has a lot going on but He suggested being friends taking it easy until he comes to the USA because he really likes me and doesn’t want to lose contact with me but has been responding late when it’s like midnight there without telling me what he’s doing. I know my trust issues are high and I know I’m going crazy cause it’s too early

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's a tough one. Long distance relationships can definitely work, but there's a lot that can go wrong too, especially if you guys just started talking. A few things I'd think about:

- The lovebombing stuff is kinda weird if you just met. Starting off intense like that always makes me cautious.

- Seven hour time difference sucks. You guys won't be able to see each other much with that kind of gap.

- He's in the army too which means he'll probably be busy a lot and not around a ton. That distance and little communication could cause issues.

- Coming to America to see you in a few months is cool, but is that just a visit? Or will he actually move here after? Big difference there.

- I'd be wary of trusting too much this early too. Trust takes time to build, even with online relationships.

Personally if it was me, I'd keep things casual for now. Keep talking but don't get too invested yet until you can meet in person and get to know each other better. Don't get your hopes up too high in case it doesn't work out. Take your time building trust instead of rushing things. But if you really connect then maybe it's worth a shot! Just be careful of red flags and don't ignore your gut feeling. Hope this helps, let me know if you need any other advice!

[Asker]

Hi thank you very much and I appreciate your insight. I blocked him yesterday because I realized he wasn’t worth it and I refuse to settle for less for someone who won’t treat me right and be consistent in the present. His words don’t match his actions saying he likes me but taking hours to respond going out and following new people every day (probably girls). I’m not a placeholder and if he won’t treat me right now, he won’t treat me right ever since guys are simple. I love your insight, can I still message you if I need any other advice?

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, good for you for blocking that guy. He clearly wasn't respecting your time and wasn't really ready for a serious relationship. You definitely made the right call to not settle or waste your time on someone who wasn't treating you right.

It sucks when people don't follow through on their words with real effort, but like you said - actions always speak louder than empty promises. You seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders and plenty of self-respect. Those are really valuable traits that will lead you to healthy relationships down the road.

For sure luv, feel free to message me anytime if you need more advice! I'm always down to listen and offer a fresh perspective since I know dating stuff can get complex. But you sound like you're doing great at recognizing red flags and not putting up with bullshit. Keep focusing on yourself and your goals - the right person who appreciates you fully will come along eventually.

You would need to follow me first so then you could message me too

[strateguy632]

not worth it

[Avicenna]

I wouldn't wait around for him

[Asker]

Thanks, I just blocked him yesterday because I refuse to settle for less and wait for him to treat me right and actually put in the effort. I don’t need him in 2024.

[Anonymous]

No, they are a waste of time.

[Asker]

Thanks I just blocked him yesterday, I refuse to be an option and deal with his inconsistent effort and wait until he’s ready to commit to me. Life’s too short to settle for less.