Are Long Distance Relationships Worth It?

Question

I’m talking to this guy who’s almost 3 hours away. It’s very early in our talking stage. I want to make sure this’ll be worth it for the long haul. He’s a nice guy and all but physical touch and quality time are my two top love languages. And I know being 3 hours away will take a toll on the relationship. I know it takes both parties to make this work but it feels like a lot of heartache. So I have never been in a LDR would this be worth it?

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

I don’t think anyone could answer that for you. Chances are ‘some’ long distance relationships do actually pan out. My personal opinion is that the ones that don’t start out as long distance or have periods of long distance are those which carry a higher success rate. From my own personal experience know for sure that they are not what I want or need and I certainly couldn’t call anything that hasn’t started with physically being with a person as any kind of ‘normal’ , but perhaps that’s me thinking in the traditional sense. I am convinced people ‘need’ that regular physical presence and touch , for comfort , support , affection , assurance , tenderness etc. from what I understand , so much of communication is non-verbal and even with technology as it is or will be there could be no replacement in my mind for the benefits or the necessity at times in having your partner beside you. I truly believe it’s required for any meaningful feelings to grow from. This is only my view though , from my insight , experience and understanding.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Not if you aren’t into it 100 percent, you already have doubts so that isn’t a good thing , unless you are both willing to compromise and find out a way for the both of you 2 be together permanently, whether he moves to you or you move to him. If not? It won’t work period , you can both decide just to be FWB’s but keep it at that.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

It’s dating. Usually dating is considered the trial period, and if it’s to remain as dating then give it a first date or week of dates to get an idea if he’s likable enough to be date able longer term.

Whether with the prospects of marriage or long term dating, I’d suggest giving it 4-6 months to get an idea if it’s worth it. Half a year tops. Really it could just be 4 and you know your answer but sometimes giving the additional time gives the chance to mesh and fine each other’s likes dislikes rhythms and preferences.

If he’s the other half then it’s worth it whether it’s worlds apart, or not.

If he’s just another face in the catalog or remains this stranger and the aches are legit, then cut reins and move on.

SweetJoyGirl · Accepted Answer

Well, I can start by saying three hours is nothing, no offense. You literally could visit each other every weekend or every other weekend. If you guys can’t do three hours, the relationship is heading downhill already. Seems like there is already too many doubt. I don’t think it is your love languages being the issue. If he is giving you reasons to doubt, then you may want to reevaluate the relationship and what exactly you both want.

spartan55 · Answer

Nope, not unless you TWO important components.
1) a hard deadline for one of you to move near (or with) the other. This shouldn't be more than a year.
2) you have to visit each other at least once per month.

If you don't or can't have these in your relationship then don't bother with an LDR.

thatshydork · Answer

3 hours away? Girl that’s nothing. My parents dated for 1.5 years and my mom was in a whole other country for a year of that (she’s from Japan and my dad is from the US). This was also before computers and cell phones so they didn’t have email, texts, nothing except for letters and house phones. Thirty four years after their wedding and they’re still married and going strong.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

If you already feel that level of pressure at early stage, then it looks like you're already going against the concept. LDR implies that you enjoy enough the path, instead of the destination, otherwise it can be painful really quickly. Though that is just theory, you can as well live this relationship as it is and see how it goes for you during this experience.

superchan2011 · Answer

Well I've had experiences with LDR and while it didn't end well it wasn't because it was LDR. That was after we moved in together. But the ldr was worth it at the time. And we had a farther distance between us versus you and your SO. We had 20 hours separating us. It was hard regarding visits but we still made it work. So it's really just a question of how much are you and your SO wanting this to work. If you guys are determined enough then 3 hours will look like nothing.

Lynx122 · Answer

3 hours is not even a long distance relationship in my opinion.

StevenMcGarrett · Answer

Three hours is tough. But if things work out, you two should probably find a place in-between and/or find a job closer to each other. Good luck. My girlfriend drove an hour back and forth when we first started dating until she moved in. Today she is my wife of 13 years.

Staximus · Answer

If you're okay with only seeing him every once in awhile, like once every couple of weeks, once a month. Driving 3 hours one way every week is going to be a pain in the ass for anybody. It's just dumb unless you see a great future together

thegreenyogi · Answer

It really depends on your attitude towards it. If you take things lightly and go with the flow I believe long distance relationships can work as long as you don't set high expectations and expect the impossible.

myloveforuisinfinte · Answer

I never dated anyone so I don't know. But one of my friend was in a ldr thing. That guy cheated on her. She is in depression now. LDR may work or maynot. It depends upon people, effort, and time.

desperatelyhungry · Answer

My boyfriend is an hour away which is easier than your situation, I still see him weekly, but I often feel single throughout the week. Otp isn’t the same as in person. I couldn’t do any further of a distance

Anonymous · Answer

I think especially in your 20s it's really, REALLY important to get in a LOT of sex and a LOT of naked full-body skin-to-skin contact. So I think LDRs are a terrible idea unless you've ALREADY had that "honeymoon" phase with the person and then something happens like a job or something that means you have to be in different places. But even then it's vital to make that as short as possible and to get ample in person time in or it's a bad idea.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

eh, my dude used to be 4 hours away from me. its only worth what value YOU assign it to. The fact you already word it as if it isn't will already be projected to the relationship

In_Trance · Answer

Waste of time

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I wouldn't start one as long distance but I would do one if the circumstances felt reasonable and we both felt really secure in each other, I don't think I could feel that way for someone I hadn't met but that's just me.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Tom me it depends how far of a distance. If she lives in San Diego, around 85 miles away, that might work. If she lives in New York or Florida, or overseas, that is PenPal Zone, not a relationship possibility to me.

RageBabe · Answer

Only if both make an effort to meet up. If not, no, it’s not worth it.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Long-distance relationships are always challenging and rarely work in the long term.

LostandFound__x · Answer

If you guys genuinely have feelings for each other and see yourself together in the future with a plan then sure

ProbablyClueless · Answer

They certainly can be quite fulfilling. Assuming you have two people who act like they actually give a shit.

saraupstairs · Answer

I guess if that's all you can manage, sure.

exitseven · Answer

Long distance relationships can only work if both parties are active participants and that there is an endgame. .

Peridot25 · Answer

That’s for you to decide. Don’t ask us because it’s not our relationship. Also, you’re going to get different answers. So it’s up to you whether you want to continue on with this guy and make it work.

molonski2 · Answer

3 Hours away is okey , International is very difficult.

paledreams · Answer

I'll say no yet one of the guys on here has experience with having LDR with a woman hey superchan? You there I'll tag ya

SolitarySolace · Answer

Not in my opinion, no. They are not worth it because you never know whether it not they’re cheating. Most likely they are

Shamalien · Answer

3 hrs isn’t an LDR in my opinion we have cars lol

dragoblack · Answer

No. The long distance with no physical touch makes one have anxiety and worry build up, and the whole thing just feels like roleplaying a relationship

Fireguy17 · Answer

They can be. Its more work and money, but it is worth it when it works out.

noohair · Answer

Are you talking 3 time zones or a 3 hour drive?

MoonFace2 · Answer

Yes, as long as you intend to meet in person one day

worldscolide · Answer

Depends on the distance, if it's a few hundred miles, sure. If not, if it's thousands, no.

Crankor · Answer

Unless one of you plans to move then it really isn't.

Anonymous · Answer

Could be for a woman. Not for a guy. LDR's are for when you're really in a relationship but want the illusion that you are.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

3 hours is not long distance. Lol. That's really close!

plundo · Answer

Depends how good it is in some months! I would try it

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Sometimes. What would you think of me and a buxom blonde Latvian lady?

slatyb · Answer

Two hours? Just go meet.

Liz1990 · Answer

If you’s married and long distance with work then yes if not no. Plus it depends on communication.

Dan_Juliet02 · Answer

Depending on if that’s what both parties wants from each other

Billlewis · Answer

If I can make her happy, then yes.

Miristheiss · Answer

Absolutely not.

Knightwatch27 · Answer

@sweetjoygirl 3 hours lol

kaucky1 · Answer

Lies and trickery of them

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

ANYTHING POSSIBLE I GUESS

Anonymous · Answer

pen pals? no.

Are Long Distance Relationships Worth It?

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Are Long Distance Relationships Worth It?

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