Is it bad that I asked a guy I'm dating if he has a criminal record?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a new guy for a while and I'm starting to really like him. After the third date, which went very well, I asked him if he had a criminal record. Not because I was suspicious of anything, but just because I like to be safe and I've had a lot of trauma related to someone from my past sexually assaulting me and having a very suspicious background (being involved with gangs and the police). Anyway, the guy was shocked that I asked and told me "even if I did, people can change for the better and shouldn't be judged for their past." Ever since I asked he has kinda stopped talking to me.. Was I an asshole for asking?

[Kaneki05]

No it's far to ask whatever you want. It's also fair how they choose to respond. Then it's also fair how you react.

If you ask me, I just tell you yeah but that was a different time in with the wrong crowd happens when young and on the streets with nothing much to do. Also can safely say I never brought harm to someone who didn't deserve it. Whether one wants to judge me for it then can, all I can be is honest shrugs.

And for people in general it's easy for us to be influenced by others in our lives. So I would keep open minded unless ya know it's really bad. Like if that guy was done for abusing someone then ya you just wanna run. But for gang stuff I for sure see that and knowing myself it's knowing the wrong people, granted always a possibility he's just bad but think you would need to learn more about it.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Seems like he does, but it's not bad cause you are just being safe and have trauma so nope.

[Ammyyf]

Yes it is weird. If you have your reasons just talk to him.

[Alex-Snow]

No you have a right to know if he is safe to be with

[Anonymous]

No, I think that's very fair to ask a guy that question.