Why is that everyone I ever tried with ghosts me, stops talking to me, removes me, leave me etc.. what is going wrong?

[laurlaur101]

I feel like I’m never going to find anyone? It’s always the cycle people like me I don’t like them then people I would go for I don’t think feel the same. What am I doing wrong? I’m really stressed by this I don't know what to do I have distanced myself and stopped talking to people completely only sticking with friends because I can’t take this I don’t have it in me to talk to any guys right now I’m done with this getting hurt I wanna know why everyone does this to me like I am trash I feel like I am

[zeitgeist057]

hmmm well I would say if everyone ghosts you, &c., then it's one of two things:

Either you are hanging out with and connecting with the wrong people, or they're nothing wrong with them, and YOU are the "wrong people" in the scenario.

Although there is another, 3rd option, which is maybe the whole framework is what is wrong. That's what happened to me, I figured it out around age 20 as well. If you want to chat about it, DM me.

But if it's one of the first 2 scenarios then the solutions are:

1. Find different people to hang out with. Figure out what kind of people you really want to attract that aren't going to act like that, and get involved in the same groups as those people.

2. If it's you, then think about what kind of person you are, and what kind of person you want to be. At this point, maybe you want to be true to yourself and say you're happy with yourself being how you are, even if no one else wants to be around you like this. Or maybe you recognize that you want to grow and be a better person. So you can figure that out and focus on yourself, for whatever things like getting physically fit, learning more, improving your communication skills, being kind to others, having interests and passions that light you up inside and cause other people to be interested in you.

By the way, have you ever played Sims? I think of Sims and how they have to do certain things to level up: do their homework when in school, practice skills to get promoted at their jobs, take care of their basic needs for food, sleep, going to the bathroom. Life is really actually a lot like that, but instead of a Sim, it's your life. The more you do stuff like a (successful) Sim does, the more you will also be successful. You could look at how they do conversations, there are always options like "Give compliment" or "Make a rude comment" and the more "bad" stuff you do, the less other Sims will like them, and make "good" choices to build friendships that could even lead to love.

[laurlaur101]

Maybe I don't know what’s going wrong but nobody really knows who they’re dealing with until they talk to them then I guess people show theirselves

[zeitgeist057]

even then you might not be dealing with the real person. Many people don't show themselves right off, they pretend to be someone they think others will approve of or like. It's only after an extended time they fail to keep up the charade and the real person can be seen through the cracks.

https://youtu.be/S-UlX5peJBc?si=5f4lnm7hBB5cPxy1

[laurlaur101]

Yeah that’s true never know why can’t be real in the beginning

[laurlaur101]

The motto is be yourself but no one ever does that they fake some shit

[zeitgeist057]

Yep, it's pretty common because insecurity is common and they are afraid of rejection if they show their true selves. So they put on an act. Though I have to say I'm guilty at least a little bit I think everyone is. I don't start conversations with all the worst things about me that I think people might hate. I "put my bet foot forward" and try to figure out what we might have in common and agree on instead. Though I don't try to hide who I am, I think I'm pretty lovable and even if a stranger doesn't think so it's fine for them to go their own way. I've got a secure foundation already with the people I've got.

[laurlaur101]

Well I give up don’t wanna talk to anyone anymore I’m sick of this cycle like I don't know what to do stresses me out so much honestly no guy will ever like me that I will like back. I don't know

[zeitgeist057]

If you "don't wanna talk to anyone anymore", that's your choice to make, and if it reduces your stress, maybe it's a good choice. I can't really give you a solution; I don't know what guys you are attracted to, but it sounds like you're having trouble finding a mutual attraction.

[Monalisa77]

You're alright you're only 20. Only be concerned when you're my age and have only 1 contact on WhatsApp you might aswell not even use it😂

[Gent207-2]

Try the whisper app

[zeitgeist057]

whisper is toxic af

[Gent207-2]

@zeitgeist057 name an app without toxicity

[zeitgeist057]

Maps

[Gent207-2]

@zeitgeist057 I'm sure I can find drama in the Google Reciew section

[zeitgeist057]

@Gent207-2 I'm sure. You can always find drama if you're looking for it.