How do women get to the attractive men first? How are all the attractive guys always taken?

[Anonymous]

How do women meet and secure these attractive men who love them before I can even find them. The most attractive men I’ve ever seen have all been taken. I’ve never seen an attractive guy who was really beautiful and not taken. And it’s not that I just like taken guys. It’s just impossible to find single good looking guys right now for some reason!

Updates

+1 y

I have met 2 highly attractive men with good personalities years in my lifetime who were interested in me but I fumbled the bag

[zeitgeist057]

I believe I'm a pretty attractive guy based on the female attention/success with women and people telling me I'm attractive.

I would say that the reason for everything you say is that, at least in my experience, an attractive guy has lots of options. If they're taken and become available, they get swooped up quick. I'm not monogamous, so I just mess around with who I decide I have time and energy for who is also into me. But I used to be monogamous and the whole experience was that I was with one woman at a time. But when I was with a woman, there were still other women that had made it obvious to me that they were available if I wanted, or if I became single. So I never had to be single if I didn't want to (but I would sometimes anyway, just to take a break, or to do some uncommitted fucking for a while). For example, I had a girl I was totally in love with. I was living in a house with two women who let me stay "as cabana boy" while they paid rent, and I slept in the living room rent free (I was broke). There were lots of friends who came over to the house pretty much every day, and I would sleep with some of them. But one caught my eye especially, so I started hanging out with her more often and spending more time with her and then when we had sex I asked her if she would be my girlfriend. It lasted a few months, and we were totally in love, but she got insecure that I was cheating on her (I wasn't, but I did flirt regularly, and at one point did some ecstasy with two other girls though we didn't have sex), and she cheated on me so I broke up with her. It was maybe a week later, this gorgeous woman from a local band I had known for a long time asked if I wanted to date. I didn't even think of her, she came to town with a boyfriend and they were in the band together. But I guess she had broken up with him when she found out I was single and asked me out. She even intentionally waited a little while so it wasn't right after I broke up with my previous girlfriend, but she didn't want to wait too long and have some other woman snatch me up.

So hopefully that little glimpse into a 6-8 month period of my life gives you a little idea about what those "attractive guys" you are seeing are dealing with. My advice is if you want to get with one of these guys you need to make yourself available and wait for the opportunity when they break up with their current girlfriend, but even that is not a guarantee. It's probably a good idea to just try to be friends with them, because they have so many options, they are going to go with the girl that they have the best chemistry with. If that's you, then you are in luck. At least until someone with even better chemistry comes along, or they get bored. Which I can say was what would happen with me, I would fall totally in love with a girl, but after a few months of living in honeymoon heaven with her, it would start to get old and some new girls would float into my life and be more exciting. But that's a big part of my issues with monogamy, because it's not like I started hating my exes or anything; so many of them were sweet and beautiful women with lots of amazing qualities. I just didn't feel like being stuck with anyone, no matter how wonderful they were. It's like choosing one food to eat the rest of your life; no matter how delicious and amazing it is, it doesn't compare even slightly to being able to eat a variety of delicious foods.

So your other option is that, if you're looking for long term and open to it; find a polyamorus guy (who is really into you, and not just using "poly" as an excuse to fuck around) and be his partner. The upside of that kind of relationship is that my girlfriend (s) don't have to worry about me dumping them for someone else. If I'm interested in someone else, I just tell them about it. And usually it doesn't even lead to anything, it's just nice to be open. For example, I went to my sister's birthday party recently and there was this super hot yoga instructor there that I started chatting with and we were flirting a bit so I walked her home and we made out for a bit. In a closed/monogamous relationship that would not be okay, I would either have to not had that experience, feel guilty about it/cheat, or break up with my girlfriend. As it was, I just told my girlfriend about it, we had a conversation which ended up with us both feeling even more in love with each other, and I had a fun pash-and-dash with a cutie (I haven't really talked to her since, aside from a brief little texting the day after) that I enjoyed.

It sounds like you had 2 opportunities already and you will have more, regardless of if you choose to go monogamous or polyamorus. While they both have their difficulties, I think monogamy is much harder the more attractive people are, because attractive people have so many options it's kind of a no brainer to enjoy those options if we want. But monogamy is very much more mainstream, at least for now and the near future, so there are plenty of hotties out there with that mindset.

[Asker]

i’m not talking about men who aren’t monogamous. I find that unattractive and immoral

[zeitgeist057]

yeah that's why I included monogamous options, I understand monogamous people like to do "one at a time". :)

[BoopBoopBeep]

As someone who is either moderately attractive or knows a great many liars, I can say that the women I've been with who were actually elevated to girlfriend status were the ones who a) involved no BS/no drama/no games and b) 9 out of 10 times, they were the ones who came up to me and made a good first impression. I'm busy. My days are pretty full. I literally see dozens of beautiful women every day. Anyone expecting to hide in the corner and be recognized... I'm sorry that's just not realistic. You don't get a job by NOT applying for the position. Social circles are the same way.

[IslaTheWitch]

No one will stop you if you want to create a relationship with an appearance. But I would suggest focusing more on a man's personality than his appearance.

[Asker]

I do trust, but a face is right next to it. I have standards for both. But honestly I haven’t found many attractive men to be bad people unless they look like fuck boys, which you’d have to be dumb to miss.

[TheSpaceGnome]

We are at home playing video games, writing, making art, etc.
The guys who go out to places get taken fast because they are noticed fast and are mentally boring so all they need is for her to be attractive.

[DarkWinterNights]

Statistically most women find most men unattractive. Very attractive men are usually shared.

[Dr_CEI]

Maybe stop looking for the best looking guys and try guys of good character

[Asker]

I’m an attractive woman I’m not going to date a butt ugly guy because I don’t want to. There are attractive nice men

[Dr_CEI]

I understand the need for an attractive partner and I wouldn't want you to lower your standards in that respect. I just know a lot of good looking guys and they tend to be players. Try an attractive shy guy

[Asker]

I live shy men!!! I just don’t know how to find one :)

[Asker]

love**

[Dr_CEI]

They'll be the ones hiding away embarrassed to be in a social situation

[Dr_CEI]

That's great! I was one of those shy men and couldn't imagine approaching a beautiful girl

[Staximus]

Guys aren't supposed to be beautiful. You should be more worried about if they are a decent person or not.

[Staximus]

Girls who throw themselves at "Mr. Perfect" are a dime a dozen. You need to have something more to offer than just good looks if you want to attract a guy that all the girls want. I was going to say try impressing them with your intelligence, but I don't think that's going to work.

[Asker]

a man should be beautiful and highly attractive. I never said he has to dress well or be popular outgoing etc. Just an amazing face. Of course i would never choose someone with a bad personality. But a shy man with a gorgeous face who is also a good person is a must.

Men can cheat, change, etc at any time. No matter how you pick them they’re autonomous beings so it’s important to choose an attractive one. It’s embarrassing and not worth it to date a man you’re embarrassed to be seen with or get made fun of for. It’s even worse when things likely don’t work out because life happens and you end up fucked over by someone you never found attractive.

it’s always better to cry over someone you can show off proudly than an ugly man

[Staximus]

Are you still in high school? Because that's your maturity level. If you want to find a guy who is not a piece of shit or dumb as a bag of hammers, you need to seriously work on not being so superficial. It's a very unattractive personality trait. It's time to start thinking about the big picture. If all you're long for is a pretty boy, that's all you're going to get.

[Asker]

Dating an ugly man is embarrassing. Think honestly who wants a partner they don’t want to look at. Character is important but so are looks. Nobody can deny that

[Staximus]

Grow up

[KrakenAttackin]

The haaawwwwwt guys are banging their way through the Stacey's, don't worry, they will get around to you.

[Asker]

Not every attractive man’s a slut. I’ve met many genuine kind attractive men they were just in relationships, and they usually had only dated and slept with 1 or 2 women.

[DextroShade]

Your standards are too high for what you have to offer.

[FunkyMonkee]

I'm not taken.

[Asker]

You’re also 56

[slatyb]

Maybe you should expand your search.

[Danny_dan92]

It’s the same for girls

[Asker]

There are so many attractive single women though. Like a crazy amount

[Danny_dan92]

“Single”

[Asker]

Like I said scroll though the instagram following of a woman you know for 10 minutes. 20-30 different attractive single women right there

[Danny_dan92]

Perception is not reality, sugar plum

[Space_535]

Those attractive single women want to stay single. Or keep their partner hidden. Like there’s this hot chick on Snapchat who always complains about being single, and every guy always hits her up. So they don’t want a relationship

[Danny_dan92]

Exactly. You got it.

From my experience tho most of them are actually taken, but continue to post thirst traps (themselves only) giving the illusion they’re single. But then every once in awhile they’ll post something that hints or straight up shows that isn’t the case.

I follow mostly women on IG. Like 90% of the people I follow on there are girls. I know from this from what I seen. Also, girls that do this never find a true genuine relationship… lol just wanted to add that

[jahaims]

By "not fumbling the bag" obviously

[Asker]

Yeah but that was about 2 years ago when I was in high school and didn’t take dating seriously for obvious reasons. Can’t even blame me for that. Where are the attractive single men now?

[Roudyrebel8]

Don't give up keep trying

[exitseven]

You snooze, you lose

[Asker]

eat cock

[exitseven]

😎😎😎

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆