Agree or disagree, if a woman wants to go 0/100 then she just shouldn't date?

[msc545]

If the woman expects men to pay for everything on a date, then should she bother dating at all?

Agree - no dating.

Disagree - she should date anyway.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I generally disagree but I think a convoluting factor is online dating or even the generalized Western idea of "dating to get to know each other." That is not in line with tradition.

We don't do this much in Japan. The traditional way of dating here is to date people we already know, like classmates, close acquaintances, and friends, much like I suspect many people in the West did traditionally.

When we date traditionally this way among people we already know, then I think it's much easier to follow the gentleman code of conduct as well as women following ladylike codes of conduct. The gentleman code means being a leader on the date while the woman follows, and like a responsible leader, he pays for the date in exchange for the leadership privilege of being in charge.

So from my perspective, people who date people they barely know with the goal of getting to know each other are skipping a vital process of getting to know each other outside of dating. There splitting the bill makes more sense to me, but the problem in my opinion is that they're skipping the process of getting to know each other before going on a single date.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

If people are dating in this traditional way and following traditional codes of conduct, then I think it's reasonable for a woman to expect a man to pay for the date while she courteously follows his lead, in a similar way a worker at a workplace should expect their boss to pay for dinner if the boss takes everyone out to dinner.

[TheUniqueOne96]

Disagree, everyone should be allowed to date, they should just be wary of reality.

Nothing wrong with that, but she she'd better be traditional herself and do her feminine duties herself, not sleep with 100 guys beforehand and then talk about how her past doesn't matter.

There's definitely women out there who want a man to be traditional, yet aren't themselves.

[SphynxUK]

I have this thing where if I invite someone, I pay. If they invite me, they pay. And here I’m talking a simple coffee or drink in a pub. On other dates I prefer to go half’s. Many men aren’t happy with that. I’ve actually put people off because I refused them paying for everything. Sometimes it’s wise to accept gracefully.

[Valdemort]

She should date.
She's just going to have to accept that there aren't many men who will want to put up with that, and so be expected to be disappointed a lot.
There might be someone out there who wishes the same dynamics, chances are slim, but anyway, shouldn't keep her from dating.

[coachTanthony]

Sounds like you are against traditional dating rituals. Women expect to be courted and that means men paying for shit. If that isn't you great.

[incorrected]

Great advice in the past, but women aren't what they used to be now that they're all hopped up on equalitarian nonsense. Men are still expected to be providers, but they're not granted the same respect; if you want to be a walking wallet in a sexless marriage, and likely cheated on, go ahead and pay through the nose.

[msc545]

Exactly correct

[coachTanthony]

@incorrected Many women who still are traditional like the past. May be tougher to find but they still exist. Most men today are just lazy and give up and rather complain then actually find someone compatible.

[KrakenAttackin]

@coachTanthony. That's not correct. Men are not lazy, they are overwhelmed. Men are constantly bombarded with radically divergent information about expected behavior, and punished when they get it wrong.

When I used to fly we had three air data computers which sensed everything about the flight. When one sensor had radically different readings from another it could cause the system to crash and shut down.

Men are shutting down.

[coachTanthony]

@KrakenAttackin Men are shutting down and they are lazy. Two things can be true at once. It's not binary.

[KrakenAttackin]

@coachTanthony. Men still make the world work which is not a lazy endeavor. You must know very different men than me.

[msc545]

@coachTanthony I don't really care give some men are stupid enough to sign up for a lifetime of servitude to some woman but they think is the right woman for them. Three or four years after marriage when they are in the middle of a divorce and a child custody fight and losing everything they have, they may think differently.

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545. That's right, and these men will realize they are not just fighting their ex, but the entirety of the U. S. government.

[coachTanthony]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 there will always be men who choose poorly and men who are scared they will choose poorly.

[Daniela1982]

@coachTanthony Or maybe some men are just looking for sex, so they are willing to pay because it is better than being horny.

[coachTanthony]

@Daniela1982 Of course that is why both parties need to make it a point to be on the same page as to what they want before actually "dating"

[msc545]

Being afraid of making a mistake and wrecking your life is NOT a sign of weakness. It is a sign of good judgment and intelligence since it is appropriate to be afraid of such things.

[coachTanthony]

Noted. Let the real men lead. Stay home.

[KrakenAttackin]

@coachTanthony. Coach, just stop. "Let the real men lead"?

I work with "real men" every day (industrial, infrastructure, blue collar) real men by any definition. Most of the men I know have been put through the marriage/divorce wringer and don't want round two (except for a few poor bastards). A "real man" does not blindfold himself and walk into a minefield... a fool does this.

[msc545]

Don't tell me what to do. Also don't characterize me (or anyone) as not a "real man" because we disagree with you. Get a new job and be more objective.

[Daniela1982]

@msc545 It's the lazy, boozing, drug induced losers that are not real men. I pity the dumb women who fall and support these bums - and even worse - stay in relationships - abusive or otherwise - with them. Now what is your excuse? Or are you going to blame women for your being single? 🤔

[msc545]

@Daniela1982 No, I am going to blame my knowledge and learning based on hard experience. Not that it's any of your business.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Daniela1982 , just know that @msc545 is a clinical psychologist, he knows his shit.

[Daniela1982]

If a man is dumb enough to pay for everything on a date then maybe he shouldn't complain. I'm guessing that he will be expecting sex so he may be getting his money's worth.

[KrakenAttackin]

@daniela1982. For the right lady (underscore LADY) a man will WANT to pay without expecting anything but her genuine appreciation and hopefully a second date.

[Daniela1982]

@KrakenAttackin I don't disagree. But it seems like many can't tell a lady when they see one, or their 2nd head is doing the thinking for them, so they don't care if it is a lady or not. 🤔

[fafylone]

At least she should offer to participate to pay. If she only wants you to pay for all expenses without suggesting she participated then she isn't the one for long relationships.

[NathanDavis]

if you're a man and you're going to whine and cry over 200 to 500 dollars

then... relationships are just not for you... go to Las Vegas and spend 30 bucks at the time or whatever it is

men are supposed to be more logical and practical, no?

[msc545]

Yes, we are supposed to be logical and practical. So in a logical and practical sense, it makes more financial sense to just patronize a prostitute. It will probably cost about the same or less and you will have a much better time and sex will be guaranteed.

[NathanDavis]

exactly... but watch them head to the internet and complain and whine 24/7 on all socials...

instead of heading to Las Vegas or whichever nearby place and just get their fix and a McDonalds happy meal after, and done...

[NathanDavis]

leave dating and relationships to the actual, real men that are worth it...

[msc545]

As opposed to? I take it you have some metrics for this?

[NathanDavis]

just look around... they're everywhere here at G@G

[msc545]

Who exactly is everywhere here at GaG, according to you?

[NathanDavis]

as if I were to fixate on whiny nonsense people like that... check some of your posts for reference

every time you post stuff against women they do come in swarms, so go there and take notes

[msc545]

You aren't really making sense. Who is that you think comes there and swarms according to you?

[NathanDavis]

@msc545

[msc545]

Yes?

[NathanDavis]

you're welcome

[msc545]

still makes no sense. Get some sleep.

[Daniela1982]

@NathanDavis Wait a minute. Today $500 is not a paltry amount. If a guy is going to pay $500 for a date, either he is crazy, or looking for a high-class prostitute. Whatever happened to dates that don't take a lot of money, like a picnic, going on a hike, or going to the museum to see the King Tut exhibit? If a woman has to be wined and dined in a 5 star restaurant, do you really want such a prima donna? 😫👎🏼👎🏼

[NathanDavis]

@Daniela1982 say for example, Daniela... that you finally give me a chance and we go out on a date, yes, I don't want just a dinner, no...

I'd rather we start it earlier, perhaps in the afternoon, and sure I'd like it very much if it were a hike somewhere nice and it ends up at a picnic on your favorite spot, or mine... we still have to drive there, and I would like to drive you there, but if you want to take your nice car that's okay as well

now I know you're into crafts too... so, why don't we go there instead, to a place, to a store... maybe a little course or lessons, why not? say we could do all of these or other things first and actually spend a nice time and day getting to know one another, and by the evening time then yes... we could go and have great time with some dinner, it does not have to be expensive, no... but I'd like it to be something you would actually enjoy, at whatever the cost

now... you love music, so what if!!! we find out that at some nearby town or city, there's a concert going and it is a band that you love, you can bet I would do what it takes to get us tickets and to get you to that gig for the rest of the night

but you are right... a lot of people are serial daters, and so they do date a lot of women all the time, so yes... for them it would make more sense to date 10 different women in a week at a cost of 50 bucks each, but no, that is not my style Daniela

when I take someone it is for an experience... and for an actual chance to get to know each other well, and then, I won't be worrying about money because I would like to have a great time with you Daniela, moreso if it is just one chance...

[PBandJ_Nerd]

There's no one way to answer. That all depends on if you do the traditional way of dating or not. If you pick traditional way, then men will be expected to pay. If not, then you can split half and half with the pay the best you can.

[KrakenAttackin]

Hard to answer. I have always preferred traditional women, and I don't mind paying for dates IF she is actually traditional. A "modern" woman... yeah, no thanks.

[incorrected]

You hit the nail on the head with that one.

[Apple1996]

Nope men are meant to be providers not women. It's the bare minimum requirement of being a man. Women pay in other ways later on into the relationship so it's not fair to expect her to provide even in the beginning and also offer all her good things up to you later on.

[msc545]

Yeah women paying other ways by divorcing you and taking all your property and all your money and your children.

[msc545]

Meant by whom to be providers? you?

[msc545]

Meant to by whom? Did you make up the bare minimum requirement routine or was that somebody else?

[incorrected]

The problem is, we're living in an age of Feminist "equality" where women aren't doing the bare minimum as caretakers and housewives, and since those women largely don't exist anymore, it's not a man's role to provide, except biologically speaking it's still expected... The incentive structure of our civilisation is dying, which is why north of 60% of men are no longer even attempting to date modern women.

[msc545]

You notice it's a woman on here who keeps saying men are expected to be providers. Expected by her. Apparently. Not expected by other men hopefully.

[Apple1996]

Women get rewarded in divorce because they gave so much of themselves during the marriage. Marriage mostly benefits the husband in the long run and harms the wife in the long run. Men get healthier and wealthier in marriage

[Apple1996]

@incorrected I'm not a feminist and I stay home, care for my babies, care and support my husband especially for his job so he can be more successful.
I'm willing to bet there's a decent amount of women who do the same as I do. Not all of us are feminist

[msc545]

Bullshit.

[Apple1996]

I think what it comes down to is women carry almost all of the stress in a marriage while men gain the opportunity to relax. Obviously not all marriages but a good bit of them are like that

[msc545]

What stress?

[Apple1996]

The mental load of taking care of a whole household is stressful

[incorrected]

Not even remotely. Most marriages fail because the women don't want to do any work, not even the house work. There may be communication issues before that point, but the idea they're all putting in 110% at home is laughable. I remember how my father worked, and how my mother was, and I've talked and been the listening ear for enough men and women to know that men most definitely don't get the better end of the deal in divorce! Losing your kids, wife AND half of everything, and in some places still having to pay allimony just because said wife is "used to" a certain standard of living... And 80% of marriages fail! So how, in the name of all reason, is that better for men? You may not think you're a Feminist, but you're talking the Feminist talk.

[incorrected]

It is, and so is the mental load of earning for a whole household, then coming back to do the washing and dishes when the kids are old enough to occupy themselves mostly on electronic devices or with their friends when they're not at school. It's also not like the woman takes the whole load of taking care of the household either. In some marriages perhaps, but not most. I've seen that situation play out enough times to know that you're not seeing the full picture. In my mother's era, everything was biased to the men, today essentially it's the opposite.

[Apple1996]

@incorrected being financially responsible for a family is bare minimum in my eyes. Women staying home is worth more financially than most men earn anyways. Up to 200k depending on amount of kids. I know just in my house it would cost roughly 600+ day if my kids had to be in daycare. Something most men couldn't afford

[Apple1996]

@incorrected most women file for divorce cuz men aren't helping with the mental load 🙄

[msc545]

This is simply bullshit.

[incorrected]

The mental load of sitting at home and doing next to nothing once the kids are old enough to go to school... It takes no time at all to throw things in the washing and drying machines, clean through and so on. It's hard work looking after young kids, but not THAT hard work. Modern women hype up the "hardship" of even a cushy situation. This site is absolutely full of women like that, who want traditional men as a "basic" requirement, or in other words something she doesn't have to be grateful for, a servant. I couldn't see a woman like that baring any "mental load".

[Apple1996]

@incorrected none of that is the mental load. That stuff is all physical load. And honestly having school aged kids is hard af. It adds more to the mental load and physical load than having a baby or toddler at home. I've also done homeschooling and that is easier than all the stress that comes with them going to school.

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545. Apple likes to troll.

[Apple1996]

@KrakenAttackin why you projecting like that? You are obviously king troll of gag

[msc545]

Arguing with this woman is obviously a waste of time. She's nothing but a troll and not a very clever one.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apple1996. I am not the king of anything.

[Apple1996]

@KrakenAttackin but king kraken would be a cute name 🥺

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apple1996. "King Kraken"... Does have a nice ring to it 😁

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

If the guy is dumb enough to pay for the whole date (s) then they shouldn't date.

[IslaTheWitch]

It depends on the agreement between that couple. I personally prefer to pay for myself

[Fireguy17]

of course she should date, how else is she going to get some poor schmuck to pay for everything?

[Zestyassmf1997]

She can date, but people might not want to date her.

[Anonymous]

I paid for dates a lot all 100 and still these men joined💀

[msc545]

Yes, there are a lot of simps.

[Opinion Owner]

What does this have to do w simping i paid for them and myself

[msc545]

Nothing then, I missed that you paid, sorry.