Can I have some advice? Like a guy but feel desperate to ask him out?

[Anonymous]

There is this guy I like and I am so desperate to spend time with him etc. I am 24, have never had a boyfriend and have only been asked out 2-3 times in my life. I've never known what it is like to be chased by a man/guy or be in a relationship. My mum told me not to be desperate and ask him out but I like him so much and, yes, I may be desperate but why not? He's lovely, sweet, good-looking and I think likes me too. Advice?

[Summeroflove]

How is this desperate? If you don’t show interest that’s worse then showing you’re interested and being direct. I don’t know here so many people get this “being desperate” stuff. Sure, if someone isn’t interested and someone keeps bugging them. That’s one thing.

Just ask him out. Sure it’s scary but look at it this way. Even if you are rejected. Just figure you can move on and aren’t wasting time on someone who won’t ask you out anyways.

I don’t see any reason not to ask him out. Don’t play games

[NamerOfStars]

I think you need to put a comma in what your mother said, diving it into clauses:

1. don't be desperate, and

2. ask him out.

I think you'll agree that are definitely ways you could ask someone out that COULD be reasonably seen as desperate, but it's not inherent; you're not asking to marry him at first glance. And it's not like you're insisting on a wholesale rejection of absolutely everything to do with traditional gender roles; you're just not being restricted in one particular way, which is, if we're honest, a stupid way anyway. It ain't the 1450's anymore.

About all that needs to be added is that it'll go over better if you know him a bit; if you "like him" just because of how he looks and you've never had a conversation with him, it'll be a harder sell. Talk a bit first, if you haven't already, and then ask.

And good luck!

[Ms_Facesitter]

Asking a guy out is not being desperate, your mother is going extremes here.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm this is a tough one. As a guy I'd say the best thing is to just be yourself and be confident! Don't worry so much about what your mom says, you only live once so why not go for it if you really like him!

Maybe try flirting with him more to see if he seems interested too before outright asking him out. Smile and laugh at his jokes, find excuses to touch his arm when talking, really listen when he talks and ask follow up questions. Guys love feeling wanted too!

If after some flirting it seems like he might be into you as well, then I'd say go for it! What's the worst that could happen, he says no? Then at least you know and can move on. But he might say yes and it could turn into something great! Just be confident and don't feel desperate - any good guy would be lucky to have a catch like you into him! You've got this, go get your man :)

[FunkyMonkee]

Ask him out without actually asking him out.
"It's SUCH a nice day! I feel like going to the creek and just slopping around in the water. Hey! Wanna come with me?"
"The amusement park opens today and they have this great new ride I'd like to try out! Wanna come with me?"
You haven't asked him on a date, you've just mentioned something that you'd like to do and asked him if he'd like to go along.
Once you've won each other over, dates can start taking place and he should be the one asking.

[CozyCoffin]

That to me is rather misleading. In this day and age women should be direct. They want to have things more equal in life, it should be all or nothing.

[Реrverted_Сreeр]

@CozyCoffin if that's indirect for you then you must haven't have dealt with those who go buy the same type clothing as you usually wear so they look similar to you, and expect you to notice the similarity and act on it.

You would be looking very desperate going any more direct than offering a place to spend time like opinion owner said, straight with "I want to worship your cock for the rest of my life" is exactly what her mom warned not to do.

[CozyCoffin]

@Реrverted_Сreeр
You wot? All I said was it would be better to just ask as opposed to be indirect. I did not say to go all sexual like this is a porn.

[FunkyMonkee]

@CozyCoffin You wouldn't think her too forward by saying, "I wanna go out with you! Where are you gonna take me?"?

[CozyCoffin]

I'd find that to be refreshing. Finally, a woman not afraid to speak her mind.

[b_lova]

Ask him out for coffee, dessert or a walk in the park. You won't know what could be if you don't try.

Just keep in mind that if he rejects you it's not the end of the world there are always more fish in the sea. If you never cast your net you have 100% chance of not catching anything.

I think the idea of girls seeming desperate by approaching a guy is pretty outdated. Heck, I wouldn't be with the woman I'm with if she hadn't slid me her phone number when we were teenagers.

[SunnyRS]

Firstly I don't think it is desperate to ask someone out if you like them.
It is desperate when you ask them and they say no and you keep asking them again and again or you keep asking anyone just to be in a relationship.
Secondly, if you like the person and don't ask them.
What is the other option? Wait for them to ask you? What if they don't or what if you wait to long and someone else asks them?
Isn't it better to try and fail or succeed then to not try at all.

[KrakenAttackin]

Fire away and shoot your shot. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just something like "hey, would you like to get a cup of coffee"?

Your odds of success are probably 90+%.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Honestly if I knew you thought it was "being desperate" to ask me out, I can assure you I would never ask you out.

[spartan55]

It is NOT desperate to ask a guy out. Source: I'm a guy.

[Danny_dan92]

It all depends on the context in which you ask him out.




If you do not have a conversation beforehand then yeah you’re gonna look desperate

[slatyb]

Ask him out. That's not desperate. He may be crushing on you too.

[SotiCoto]

...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZXsQAXx_ao0

[Anonymous]

Google Sadie Hawkins Day

[JacobJordan]

Ask him out.

[Jamie05rhs]

You can ask him!

[Anonymous]

Unexpected