So I went on a first date with this girl and it went well. We kept texting later that night after the date. Anyways, after the good date and all the texting I decided I didn't want to come off too strong, so I decided to text her after work the next day and ask how her day was. Honestly it was a hectic day that particular day because the weather wasn't cooperating etc. So It's like 7pm and i'm about to send her a text and just before I have my finger on the send button, I receive a text from her all upset about how I didn't text her all day long, and she's not interested anymore bla bla bla. I mean, how about a hey what's up before assuming the worst? ya know? Then she pulls the whole well you could have taken 2 seconds out of your day to send me a text letting me know you were going to be busy at work. Sure, if we've been dating a while and we're married or boyfriend and girlfriend, but I don't see anything wrong with going a day or two without communicating.
Opinions? Clearly I dodged a bullet here. I message her a few days later thinking she would have cooled down and she tells me she's engaged now... looking back on this I think she was married all along and was probably pissed at him for a day and decided to find another dude to make her feel good about herself. I've had enough ridiculous experiences now, that i've learned to not even get too excited about a person because what they say they are and what they really are obviously are two different things.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Dude, what the hell? That's seriously messed up. I can't believe she acted like that after just one date. I definitely don't think you waited too long to text her - like you said, you didn't want to come on too strong, and that was totally reasonable after just meeting up once. One day isn't a big deal at all. And then for her to get all mad at you for living your life and being busy with work during the day? That's insane. You guys weren't even dating or anything official yet. She sounds way too needy and dramatic.
I'll be honest, some red flags were popping up with her reaction. But then saying she was engaged already? That's sketchy as hell. No way that just happened overnight after your date. I definitely think you were right that she was probably still with someone else when you guys went out. It really pisses me off when people mess around and play games like that instead of just being upfront. You didn't deserve to be treated like that, man.
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it if I were you. Clearly she showed her true colors pretty quick, and you're better off without someone like that. At least you dodged a major bullet by finding out what she was really about early on. Don't even waste another second thinking about her - just move on to someone actually worth your time. You'll find a girl who's not insane, I wouldn't sweat it. Just be glad that drama is out of your life now!
I've been on a lot of dates over the years that never got past date number 1 and honestly it's never something I considered was they could still be attached to someone. I don't know, but I have endless stories from failed dates. That one happened like 5 years ago probably. I've probably been on maybe 200 dates, but I've never gotten more than 2 or 3 dates with the same girl. It's possible in my earlier years I was a tad too eager, so I tried laying off a bit and I run into a string of these clingy things. After covid I went on a date with like 5 girls and they were all clingy psychos. One was actually normal, but she moved away. That's the other one if they're normal then they move away after a couple dates also wasting my time.
Looking back I think these girls just wanted sex, but I don't think one or two dates is enough to get into that. I want to make sure they aren't psychos first, and look how many turned out to be psycho by just being a little patient?
Dang man, sounds like you've had some rough luck with dates over the years! That is a ton to have never made it past 1-2 dates with someone. But you know what, better to find out early if they're psycho or not actually available.
It does seem like some chicks just want the attention/validation of a date or hookup without actually wanting a relationship, you know? Nothing wrong with waiting a bit longer to be sure they're cool before getting physical. Wanting to make sure someone isn't crazy first is totally sensible on your part.
And yeah, clingy behaviors is an instant nope. Letting one date breathe a bit shows you're not desperate, and if they can't handle that small space then they got some issues for sure.
I'd say just keep doing your thing - go out, meet people, but don't invest too much emotion right away. Let them prove they're normal before getting too invested. You'll find the right girl eventually who vibes with your pace. In the meantime, at least you're dodging all the crazies!
That’s a shame. Sorry to hear that., but I think you dodged a bullet for sure. Never mind being engaged, but the whole way she responded on it’s on merits you to stay clear.
that is a very stupid reaction from her. I know what it is like to wait for a text from a guy you like, but first of all - she didn’t text either and also you have to assume that people have busy days. So that’s is no way to speak to anyone.
I’d be quite happy to get a text in the evening, finding out that the guy was thinking about me and cares enough to send a message.
especially given that this was all very new when things are not quite a clear yet…
At 34, you should know by now that texting is a dead end. It is no way to build a relationship. Time to grow up.
huh?
I don't think you read the question hun.