Why do women play so hard to get and yet cry about being so lonely?

Question

As a guy who’s been in the dating game. I met a lot of women who are sad being lonely. But yet, when I get to know them, they put up this barrier against all men. But in reality, they desperately always want a boyfriend once they get to know me. So why put up a show? I think that’s one of the reasons I don’t even approach women at bars anymore. Because they want a guy to do all the work. But then they get sad when they leave, and it’s because they don’t even try the smallest amount of effort back.

MMelanieM · Accepted Answer

This is an interesting question - Over the years, this is what I have noticed. When I was younger, I was more shy and didn't have all the skills to be protective of me and my well being, and hence I don't pursue a guy. Cause i have lots of things going on in my life and I cannot collapse emotionally which can eat into the other sectors of my life. So I'm being mindful of it. The thing at that time was that I'm slow in warming up to the man and getting to know him and getting to the next level... by which time they have moved on to other girls/a girl. I didn't find someone patient enough & I noticed if he really keen, he would have hung around, but maybe I wasn't quick enough for him.

I also noticed, after i started to pick up on my pace and i'm genuinely giving it a shot, the guy tries to play hard to get and it becomes a mind game that they play. This exhausts me mentally and emotionally & it disturbs my energy and the functionality of things I do in a day. I have realised that my energy is too precious to be played with and hence I have to stay in balance with a strong core, and I need a man, that comes peacefully and not to make my existing energy chaotic.

As time went by the amount of apps available to choose from is plenty and with socialising also lots of options are there. So I take it as with plenty of options around, competition is also high and while I put my energy, effort and I genuinely have a good vibe with the guy... they take onto someone else.

So moving forward, I'm just focusing on my life and if i meet someone who comes on my path, gets to know me and wants to put sure effort, i'm in... but I know I'll be conservative of my energy, as I'm trying to hold onto the life that I'm building behind the scene also.

Glittergirl4 · Accepted Answer

Because just as guys don't always know what they are doing, we women don't know either. I always believed the guy was supposed to chase and set all the dates and initiate conversation or else they just don't like you. I'm finding that maybe that's not the case because now I feel like I'm losing the interest of the guy I'm seeing. I'll be honest, I don't know what a guy wants and expects from me. I suck at this. I'm also very shy. Maybe it's my fault and I should initiate conversation more, show more interest, and actively try to schedule a date since we've been out about 8 times and we've been talking for 4 months. I would say, even though it's not you guys' fault, maybe men could try to be a little more open and communicate about what they want and how they feel.

BoopBoopBeep · Accepted Answer

I think a lot of people haven't caught on to the modernization of dating and how it's different than say, small town 1980s dating would have been. With all the technology available, not just dating apps, hookup apps and the like, but things like Meetups or Strava, I can connect with dozens of people this week. Are they all going to be potential dates? No, but maybe their friends are. Plus, for anyone who isn't glued to a keyboard and active in the community, eligible women aren't exactly a limited commodity.

The one hot girl from high school in a town of 500 could have been such hot shite in 1980 that guys would line up to date her, now she's just a statistic. Are all the women I interact with going to be interested in ME? No of course not, but how much time would I waste playing games with one when there's dozens more to follow after her by the end of the month?

It's like globalization's effects on the economy. We COULD make tshirts for walmart in Idaho, but China will do it for pennies on the dollar, and that's how Walmart can sell them for $5ea. You want to pay a U. S. worker $20 to do it? Those shirts go to $25ea. Time is money. I'm only going to spend so much on a woman who hasn't demonstrated she brings anything unique to the table (because we just met) when I have so many more options out there.

Same thing of course applies to men, but I don't date them.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

I think your views are very polar and a little skewed and bitter being honest. I have never thought that women / girls play unjustifiably hard to get , I think knowing how guys can be with their single mindedness why shouldn’t a woman weed out those that are more intent on using them for sex For those that are actually interested in them. Attractive women get a lot of interest from would be suitors and so get really good at reading guys and recognizing what’s actually on offer. I am no lothario or don jaun and so would never measured my worth by my success with women. Nor would I make sweeping generalizations about women and how they take take and never give , when clearly that just isn’t true. If you want my advice it’s take a break from the dating game , attempt to just spend time around women talking to them and understanding how they are complex just like us men. I feel it will likely give you the insight you are missing.

genericname85 · Answer

they aren't playing the same game you are. for them the challenge isn't finding someone that shows interest. for them, the challange is sifting out the duds from all the people who show interest. and that proofs to be more difficult the more attractive they are.

JacobJordan · Answer

Because they want to see how much bullshit you will tolerate and they fail to realize that if they push to the point he walks away he isn't coming back. That is why I skipped the entire chase. I show my interest if she is interested we go next steps if she displays anything else I walk. Lead to some fascinating outcomes when I was younger

Apple1996 · Answer

Any woman who does that has most likely been hurt by a man in the past. So its not that they don't want to put in work but maybe scared of being hurt?

dustybiker2 · Answer

Maybe you are interested in the wrong (if you don't want that) or same sort of woman? There are plenty out there not interested in games. If you aim only for the brightest spark playing the 'chase me' card, then that is what you get.

alice55 · Answer

cause if they don't they're called whore and easy not mariage material. This only bother you you have no game and aren't able to understand anything.

naartjie · Answer

Because if you don’t play hard to get then guys just use you and you end up alone anyway… might as well have high standards and be alone then not.

normalice · Answer

They aret playing "hard to get." They are playing "does he actually want me or just my ass" and are sad when they find he just wanted their ass.

mattthefatbat · Answer

Sounds like OP hasn't met the right woman yet keep searching and im sure you'll find the one that really wants you for you

desidoll · Answer

Eh, trust me it is not only women doing this. I have seen plenty of men whine about being single yet never put effort to get a girlfriend.

RebelinSteel · Answer

Fair question, pass, I guess their counterpoint are those sad guys who are pretty much permanently single with zero hope.

Unit1 · Answer

They play hard to get towards men they are not interested in. Watch them running after the top 10% of men and break every rule they had for you.

A_Bell · Answer

Maybe they are different women an you are just being a generalizing a-hole?

Anonymous · Answer

Because to most of these women men are simply games to be played. When they cry about being lonely it's generally because men have wised up and caught on to thier games. And now she had NOTHING not even I guy to take advantage of.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Typical male attitude on display here. They never stop to think that THEY could be the problem.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I don't play it, I just take a while to warm up to someone.

Anonymous · Answer

If I was lonely I wouldn't play hard to get, I would let any guy fuck me.

JHAYES317 · Answer

Because they magically want their dream guy to come out of nowhere but that’s not realistic…

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

I don’t play, I am hard to “get”. I’d rather be lonely than in an toxic and miserable relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Women who play games should not cry about being single

TM_KO_AF · Answer

they like chasers and beggers just don't come off as too pervy they like playing games and bitch cry when they lose

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t desperately want a boyfriend and i am not lonely i have friends and family

MushyKiwi · Answer

I don't know, it's the thrill?

SolitarySolace · Answer

They like the attention and nothing more.

laly520 · Answer

u r looking in wrong places

Anonymous · Answer

Sad question.

dolemite58 · Answer

They’re not logical creatures

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Because women are grown children

Anonymous · Answer

Some woman are pathetic pieces of trash.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know who you're talking to lol

jahaims · Answer

Immature

litty736 · Answer

Some women are toxic

Why do women play so hard to get and yet cry about being so lonely?

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Why do women play so hard to get and yet cry about being so lonely?

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