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Im in my late 20s and I've been struggling to go on dates or finding a partner because I've been rejected by most men just because I'm virgin and I'm waiting till my marriage? They told me that they can't wait, they need to have some sort of physical relationship and they don't do virgins?
The men who hate virgins are the men who have no interest in a serious relationship - they're just looking for casual sex. And they hate virgins because they know they're not going to get quick and easy casual sex from her.
I don't know which men you are pursuing, but you should know this: the more "conventionally attractive" a man is to women - meaning, if he's a man that most women find attractive - the LESS likely he is to be interested in a committed relationship. This is because a man like that has ENDLESS opportunities with women, and today, MOST women will give him sex without any waiting, because they're hoping (foolishly) to "hook him" and keep him for themselves. That almost never happens, though, and so most women chase the same small pool of men, until all of their friends have all slept with all of the same men - the most desirable men - and none of them ever get a commitment from them.
The men who are "relationship men" are men who aren't going to be AS attractive - meaning, if you surveyed 1000 random women, probably half of them would not consider him attractive enough to date for whatever reason. If 80% of women would find him attractive enough to date, he's in the top 10% (or less) of men, and those men don't commit (with very, very few exceptions).
Again, I don't know which men you are pursuing, but IF you are pursuing these top guys, it's absolutely no surprise that they aren't interested - they don't want to pay your high price (a relationship/marriage) when they can get what they want for free from (nearly endless) other women.
If you start looking only at "relationship men", you'll have much better outcomes. Just don't expect such men to score high on the "Instagram scale" of handsome men and wealthy, luxury lifestyles. They're going to be much more average.
I don't think that single men hate virgins. Historically virginity was favored as marriage material. Financially the price for a virgin bride was more. And once again , Premarital sex was considered a no no. Even though I am sure it occurred. Enter the sexual revolution, Love the one you are with, Sexuality in the United States migrated away from monogamy. Casual sex became the norm as the idea of marriage slipped as the dominant form of relationships.
Men have been taught that they should stay single and free for centuries. More casual-sex without the burden of children, which are their own form of birth control. Once the children are part of the family, husbands routinely become a member of the once a month club. And, for some odd reason parents don't want their children to see them having sex. One orgasm is all you have time for. Behind closed locked doors. and keep quite so you don't wake the kids. So, you who have maintained your virtue for an antiquated purpose. might as well be a Knick-Knack on the shelf.(Beautiful to look at , but off limits unless you want to get married which most males have been taught to avoid.) That is a harsh explanation but truthful. Attitudes about sex need to be examined and discussed before relationships become concrete. I never hated my virgin but if she had had some experience I would have married her anyway.
Men don’t have the patience. It’s why they prefer experienced women. Also, they believe all virgins are the same where they don’t want to learn anything. It’s why I’m debating if I either want to stay single leaving request an open relationship so my future partner can get his needs met.
We are living a different times. It’s nice how some people like to wait until marriage. But people 25 and up have all ready had sex or kids. They just want to know if you guys also have the same connection when it comes to sex?
Opinion
50Opinion
How do you start conversations with them?
“Hello, I am Sarah,
I am 29, virgin and waiting for marriage?”
Try more interesting conversations.
Here's my suggestion for women about this subject. Obviously, you don't want to waste time with a guy who has no intention of getting serious or married, but you can't lead with what you said. With that in mind, when a guy shows interest in you, just give him a little quiz and say "I want to play a little game with you, but you have to tell the truth, it's not role-play, ok?" Of course he'll say yes because guys love that stuff. Then ask: "If you found the perfect girl for you tonight, where do you see yourself in 6 months with her? In a year with her? In 2 years with her?" Then sit back and gauge his answers. If he's a smart ass and replies "Are you telling me you're a virgin and you're waiting for marriage", you can reply "I didn't tell you anything, I ASKED you something". See where that goes.
There really is no point for a woman to waste weeks of small talk and months of dates with a guy can't honestly say "If I found the right girl (perfect girl, whatever), I'd want to marry her in a hot minute". The guys who say "I don't know where I'll be a year from now", are not the ones you want anyway.
To the commenters that are saying men are shallow for that attitude:
Sex compatibility is a factor in choosing a partner. Some people value it more than others, but I disagree with the notion that those who want to be in a relationship with someone who's willing to have sex before marriage automatically labels them a bad person. I think it's possible, and commonplace, for someone to be an otherwise good person and to want to have sex before marriage.
Talking more about sex compatibility, sex can be one of the most self-conscious and embarrassing acts to engage in for newbies. It's difficult to have your personality shine through with sex on the first go and is likely going to be uncomfortable for both parties if we're talking about two virgins. That sort of thing may take time, and what if your partner ends up not liking your sexual personality, or vice versa? What if you get married to someone and find out your tastes in the bedroom are wildly different to where neither of you ever enjoy it? Earth shattering? Maybe not, but that's a bit of a downer for sure. Sexually exploring before marriage can field for that better than just rolling the dice. And I think all people (but especially men) have an innate fear of saying "I do" to someone who later in life says "I love him/her with all my heart, but I'm just not attracted to him/her."
All that being said, it's not like people can't find a man who respects OP's decision. Each person values these things differently, and there are plenty of men out there who may value OP's decision as much as she does. I mainly just wanted to point out there's more to men (and women) wanting a partner who's willing to have sex before marriage beyond shallowness.
I am never waiting for marriage so there's that. Sex is not that important and special that you need to wait and most men aren't waiting unless they're losers who can't get any pussy and will go so far as to marry a woman to get some.
That's what you're going to end up with. Some pathetic man who will literally marry you for pussy and you'll probably have kids and he will leave because he was never there for anything but sex in the first place. And dudes do shit like that I've seen it plenty of times.
They don't hate virgin girls, far from it.
It's just that the risks and hazards for men of relationships, let alone and especially marriage, have skyrocketed in recent years, and the rewards and benefits of marriage have plummeted. When something rewards less and pays off less, you get less of it.
And at least in his past relationships, he could start off by sleeping with the woman and dating her and seeing if there is that chemistry and compatibility there, and you are taking even *that* short term reward and payoff away from the bargain.
Now you might think that you are definitely worth it in the long term, and you may be right, but *he does not know that*, so without at least that initial reward for risking himself and "putting himself out there", which every man does when he approaches a woman with whom he is interested, he concludes it is not worth the risk and the waiting period.
Dealing with a virgin is stressful. You have to teach her everything, and handling her emotions after the sex is a lot of work.
The issue isn't your virginity, it's the fact that you don't want to have sex before marriage. Physical compatibility is a HUGE part of determining whether a relationship will last. You aren't interested in testing that physical compatibility until the deal is sealed.
Most men simply aren't interested in taking a risk like that.
Men don't hate virgins. I guess is the men that you choose that do not appreciate virgins. You can have a physical relationship with someone without having sex but maybe they only count sex as physical touch. Don't feel discouraged by those type of man. You've remained a virgin for so long not to lose it with some random guy. It's your choice and I'm sure you'll find a Man who appreciates that you've remained a virgin.
Is not hate but impatience. If you weren't a virgin and just said "I don't want to have sex with you" that would probably end the relationship on the spot. But the value of virginity is imaginary so using that as an excuse to not have sex with someone comes across as just saying you don't want to have sex with them.
I don't know and honestly it's more why do people hate virgins. I'm actually 33 and a virgin same reason as you I believe in waiting till marriage.
Honestly I find it funny people say they need to know first before getting married but if you actually look at the studies and facts the most successful marriages are actually those who have had one sexual partner and that is their spouse. The more sexual partners you have the higher their divorce rate is.
Your assumption is incorrect; men don't hate virgins, but only marriage-minded men will invest time and energy in dating one. Guys who are just bouncing around and haven't made up their minds about what they want in life do not want to be limited to a "no sex till marriage" relationship, since they have no idea when that might be for them.
Men looking for long term relationships actually love virgin girls, fuckboys don't. Losers looking for friends with benefits aka easy free sex hate virgin girls because they can't just fuck and leave. Try looking for a guy that's looking for commitment, not to empty his balls.
Are you looking for a virgin or you are in a relationship?
Because they don't want to wait until marriage to have sex. Maybe start looking more on churches and Christian dating sites. There's still plenty of good men out there who are also saving themselves for marriage.
Hate or love? 🤔 these guys are surely shallow and stupid! Also why are you sad? Do you want to be used? The proof that you're on the right path is here, they left! You know why? It's because they only want sex!
I adore virgin girls and will surely supprot their decision in remaining virgins till marriage 👍🏻
Not all of them
Because most of them want sex whit women before marriage
And i know a lot of virgin girls ( Muslim). And no one of them find problem in relationship or mariage
For me i don't care about sex or this stuff what i can about is personality of person
Waiting only works if you are a young virgin and so is the guy. All these guys are also very religious, think of guys like Ben Shapiro or Charlie Kirk. Also, the value of your virginity is perishable as after 30 it starts to look like you have something wrong with you. You would be best advised to try to find a guy through a church's singles ministry, and marriage should happen much faster than it does with secular couples.
Unless the description has changed in regards to men, I am one, and I support and admire Your decision to wait, it bespeaks well of Your sense of commitment and Self respect.
Know this, Lowering Yourself to the standards of common males won't win their love or affection only their burdens, Stay the course until you have found one that will accept your decision.
Waiting until marriage? Your choice. No one owes you a date. Men are telling you that your values are incompatible with theirs. They reasonably are not willing to spend a year dating you without knowing if you are sexually compatible.
They don't want to marry so it pointless to them, but virgins are making an best wives. :)
I don't hate virgin girls. But yeah, I don't want to marry a woman and then discover that we are completely incompatible in bed. Some people are just a better match in terms of preferences.
They don't hate that you're a virgin, they probably like it.. They don't like the waiting til marriage part.. Most people these days don't wanna wait that long because we've made sex far too important instead of growing to love somebody..
Lol lady, I for one would think where are the virgin 20s women at, cause there sure are me and a hell of a lot of single guys out there 20s who aren't all plowing the fields aka aren't all fortunate in the dating scenes either 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻😭😅😅😅
Why even tell them? Just keep it to yourself. If you deem him worthy of sex before marriage then great. Otherwise tell him you are waiting. Most men won’t stick around though at this age. Sex is important…
Id respect and value her.
Its more about how i feel about us.
I had that scenerio … was ling term v myself
I don't think they hate virgin girls. It's probably just a difference in values. A lot of men don't want to wait until marriage.
I don't hate virgins. I'd love to have one, for a change!! All 3 of my ex's had boyfriend's and lots of sex before me! 2 of them even had a kid before we met!!
Has nothing to do with u being a virgin they reject u because they are not willing to wait for marriage
Well being a virgin has successfully subsetted men into those who just want sex.
I dont. To say that you are waiting for marriage to your man would piss him off and make him think something is wrong with you. It would be like you are rejecting our love. If you love you us wouldn't fight back when we want sex.
Anyone over the age of 21 and still a virgin is a big walking red flag, and the older you get, the bigger that red flag becomes.
How is it a red flag?
Respecting oneself is not a red flag. It might be something you disagree with personally, but these are two different things.
The idea of STD's grosses me out. I'm saving myself for marriage, I'm Christian. But also STD's are gross. And I'm not sex-obsessed. I think anyone who is sex-obsessed is a red flag.
They don't plan on marrying you is what it seems like
I certainly do not. I would prefer dating one, especially being virgin myself.
I don't know if girls are virgins so why would I hate them. That's a strange thing to hate somebody for.
Just because they don't agree with your life choice doesn't mean they hate virgins
You're confusing two different things
A lot of men prefer a woman who’s sexually experienced. A lot of men, not all men.
You said it. You have to wait until marriage. I had virgins before and I waited for a couple months but that's it. I can't wait for years and if we match to get married.
I don't know I am a virgin and waiting for marriage too. But you don’t want a guy that just wants to use u so if anything be thankful they are tryna take advantage of u.
1. Most girls say they are a virgin but infact are far from it. So their can be a trust issue here.
2. They are just in the relationship for sex. Dating a virgin simply means no sex to them.
Sex is expected in a relationship. They may think you won't have sex.
For me virgins are more respectible and good than non-virgin
Maybe you should go to church find somebody moral?🕍
Good men looking for marriage always prefer virgins.
I'm pretty sure your age is not the only thing you are lying about here.
Why do people think not wanting to date/fuck someone means that you hate them? Stupid
Stop the crap nobody hates nobody stop generalizing just because your lack of perspective
u r wrong about that except for some guys
A round of claps 👏🏻
why are you lying lol
u I don't hate any girls
Why would they
never met one who did
Men positively do not hate virgin girls.
I wouldn’t say this applies to all men…
Why don't you look for virgin men?
Since when do we hate virgins?
@Peridot25 I don't hate virgins. I'm one myself
because they want sex
who told you this fake statement?
I dont hate virgin girls?
I do want virgin and i like virgins
It's the contrary we hate
We don't!
They don't
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