Is he being too much from the second day of talking stage?

Question

So I met a guy on a dating app, and both of us are looking for a serious relationship. We're just in the talking stage (2nd day) and we're currently in different states but he expects me to be exclusive to him already- altho I haven't even conveyed any strong interest. He texts me from midnight until 4 in the morning, says I'm the love of his life and says he wants to eat me. On one hand I feel too rigid for not going with the flow, on the other I feel it's alittle over the top.

DoggyDude · Accepted Answer

It is very over the top. It's sweet maybe that he's seriously into you, and the attention is, in itself not overly disturbing. That you haven't conveyed that you have any particularly strong interest is a concern though.

I would say, unless your feeling this guy is someone special that might accept this over the top behaviour, you might want to just pull back a bit on how much time you make available.

It can be difficult, if you don't really know yet, so try to make it clear when you pull back that it's not anything except you need a time to get to know him and he you, and that is not something to rush.

Again, if you think he might be particularly special, then you might not want to risk causing him to rethink his attention level. Though generally speaking, he is being too much and there is an overlap between someone trying to rush someone into intimacy and someone seriously into you. So for both your sakes you need to cool things, but try to do it without ruining something if he's just genuinely in love with you (honestly, if he IS genuinely in love, your caring suggestion to cool, not end stuff should be accepted and supported, if he pushes against that, maybe you should escape him).

Though thats one opinion. At the end of the day, know how your feeling and this poster agrees he's being too much given where your both at.

Though again, in fairness, I've been in that kind of love and I very much was hurt when the girl in question ended up with other guys. So, in sympathy to any guy who genuinely is in love and just over the top because of that, work out where your at and give them the best chance to be someone if they had a chance to begin with.

*bow*

Doktorpete · Accepted Answer

Dear, learn the difference between love and attachment.
This guy probably doesn't know the difference too.
He is trying too show you he deeply seek connection. But he is also lying saying he loves you, further, he is manipulating your feelings by showing false feelings

Don't LIE to him and pretend this behaviour doesn't bother you, or you will just manipulate what he feels instead of showing who you really are and that you're a little scared by him throwing all this shit at you

If you don't talk right now, you reinforce unwanted behaviour.

Shit.. this guy needs to play cool, he is obviously exaggerating, and what that shows is he genuinely believe you re going to fall to a psycho dude who in two days has the illusion of founding the love of his life TEXTING.

Best way to proceed? Say: "wow, I do appreciate you like me, but don't say that you love without really knowing me, I think you're idealizing me and wants me to say that back, but you don't mean it, moreover, you don't want to be lied too either"

thatshydork · Accepted Answer

I’m going to give you one of the only pieces of advice about love that my mom has given me thus far in my life: always be careful of the guys who will say things like “I love you” way too soon.

It sounds like he’s doing what is called love bombing you (for those who might not know what that means, love bombing is when you try to manipulate or persuade someone by using over-the-top demonstrations of affection. One of the main ways of doing this is saying ‘I love you’ or things like that wayyyy too soon) which is something you want to be VERY wary of.

Horse-girl · Accepted Answer

It is a bit early I'd say, I've had someone do that and he even asked me to marry him without even meeting in person and after having only talked for a week or so. I personally find it a bit too much too soon but it just depends how you feel about it.

Summeroflove · Answer

I think that the decision to be exclusive is one that BOTH people need to be ready for. Also, texting late at night and early in the morning especially if you have to get up early is rude at best.

People learn pretty fast not to be texting or calling in the wee hours in the morning unless it is a EMERGENCY! Now some people have different boundaries and if it’s something both of you have talked about. That’s one thing.

This is why I generally avoid dating apps. Some people can seem like good upstanding people, to find out later they’re are as nutty as a sack of squirrel turds.

If you feel you’re loosing interest. Tell him. Maybe he isn’t even bad but maybe it’s not meant to be. I don’t think it’s good for someone to get overly attached to someone they barley even know. Maybe he’s lonely though and doenst ge to talk to a lot of people. So don’t hate him for it. But maybe you need to discuss boundaries and just tell him how it makes you feel in a nice way.

Avicenna · Answer

At best it's love bombing. At worst, it's part of a scam.

coachTanthony · Answer

It’s icky no matter what you call it

Pinay_ako · Answer

Clingy. Stay away. Fast.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

What is the talking stage?

Vermillion30 · Answer

I was. OKC Community Mod from 2012-2020.

There is about 50-200 Male profiles to 1 Female. That doesn’t take into Foreigner trying to get green cards, Escorts, OF bunnies and Cheaters.

The “Love of his life” is a little bit of a red flag. I’m guessing he’s Desperate and is trying to keep a conversation going so you don’t look at other messages or guys.

I fall extremely easy, but I need 2-3 months to mentally like someone, before I can even be physical. Last person I liked took me 5 Months to Start to like.

Personally I would Question how far are they? What common interests do you have? Do you like them physically (Photos)? Why is he up all night texting? online dating is 90/95% lose rate for men.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Sounds like he is desperate or something. I would move on if I were you. These kinds of people are usually very possessive too. 😖 You definitely don't need that type of person.

Anonymous · Answer

Anyone who thinks things should be exclusive before you've even met up, is a fucking delusional moron. You should run--don't walk--away from this guy.

Although you should ALSO be aware that the ENTIRE point of meeting people online is to IMMEDIATELY meet up in person or reject them altogether. The very fact that you seem to think there's a "talking stage" where you spend more than 15 minutes interacting online before deciding to meet in person, tells me that you've got a lot to learn as well.

sheikalana · Answer

HUGE RED FLAG ALERT! He's not being too much he's being the ultimate red flag himself. Don't fall for this BS dear. The fact that you posted this question with all these details make me think deep down you know there's something wrong with his behavior.

poshspice123 · Answer

Sounds like lovebombing phase of a narcissist. Be careful of these people, the intensity as quickly as it rises, it quickly decreases as well. And the decrease in intensity will make you feel if you did something wrong for the intensity to decrease and that is how these people manipulate and control you.

superchan2011 · Answer

That sounds very fishy for him to already be acting so strongly about you after just the second day of talking. Sounds like a big red flag to me. Like another commenter said either he's love bombing you{which in and of itself is usually a bad sign} or he's trying to scam you. and I can back that second one up from all the scammers on instagram that tried to love bomb me only to end up asking me for money. So all I can tell you is to watch out.

Anonymous · Answer

You made the mistake of saying you're looking for something serious. You guys both said the same thing but meant it in two different ways. Neither one of you is wrong per se.

This is why I avoid dating questions with, kids, marriage, serious etc. Because all that hinges on who the other person is. Do I want to get married (less so now😆) but at one time very much so. Point is if I talked to a woman who wanted that answer in 2 weeks back when I would have been younger I don't think I could have given her that answer. Now i'd say "f*** no"!

You need to be honest with this dude. If you lose him you lose him.

myloveforuisinfinte · Answer

Simple , by balancing it out like ignoring him 😭 then text him when u need attentionnn and then ignore him out of the blue. Haha 😆 he sounds like he is using "love bombing trick" on u😂
Why don't u use "hot and cold" or "ghosting" trick on him lmao.
Or just block him
And find a guy who is genuine not manipulative.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

A little over the top.. sorry, but a LITTLE over the top? The only creatures in the known universe to get THAT clingy in so short a time are blood sucking leeches, and everyone knows how difficult it is to get rid of those!!!  Leech

lightbulb27 · Answer

It's too much and over the top... it seems desperately needy. But can happen as they go too quickly rather than getting to know you, he's in fantasy in his head.

your call... long distance, is hard and I wouldn't start that way. when you disconnect, it be really painful for him.

Makeushiver · Answer

Make sure to keep some distance before not turns into a situation where someone will get hurt. Anyone who doesn't pass smell test, i. e seems off, is best avoided until you get much more information. You do not want to get a stalker interested enough to grow attached and then disappoint him. Better to stay back until you have more data. At least that's my opinion.

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

Lol, even without picking them up, in more chatty to my OnlyFans women, past and present. So I for one, love to talk. If a woman had a problem with it, I'd not date her or I'd say no second date and politely, maturely, just metaphorically show her the 🚪 by saying, I'm clearly not your type, yet have a nice day 😁😊 or a nice night 🌃

Mr_twoface · Answer

I agree with the rest! RED FLAG, alarming, too enthusiastic! If you want to continue to chat for the fun of it, do so, but don't give away personal details, social media etc. Otherwise, block and find the next charming guy.

randomBrotha · Answer

2nd day... I don't understand how someone could love anyone after knowing them for 2 days. These things are hard to gauge because sensitive guys like this can make great boyfriends but on the other hand they can be a nightmare. I would say it's safer to just tell him you're not feeling it. But only you can really know what's best.

Truthatanycost · Answer

Where are you finding these mentally ill people?

strateguy632 · Answer

yes, too extreme. you need to sleep at night. if he started texting at 12 say i need to sleep and block for 8 hours. so you can sleep. later ask how he plans to meet in person?

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I've never met a guy who texts like that and thought they were normal... That's coming from me though so maybe get some other opinions. Usually people who talk like that seem pretty delusional though.

supercutebutt · Answer

Eating you is a 3rd date thing. You are still in the buttstuff stage. Proceed with caution. ⚠️

Debashree_Das · Answer

He is love bombing you. He is a lonely depressed perv and also a narcissist maybe who wouldn't get a girl near his own place so he would rather send you erotic texts at night and wants to lock you down immediately. I won't be surprised if later he tries to isolate you. Run girl. Run.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

What he feels is  infatuation .  That  obsession  is usually  dangerous .

rosemilk · Answer

that dude is weird... i'd stop talking to him. what he is doing is not normal for a grown man to do.

Billlewis · Answer

Yeah, he's a little too enthusiastic, in my opinion.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

These types of long distance relationships can be tricky, takin them slow would be wise, if he can't respect that I wouldn't continue with it.

dustybiker2 · Answer

"he expects me to be exclusive to him already" Any controlling talk is a red flag.

Screenwriter · Answer

A little? This guy is a nut. Tell him you aren't interested in too much, too soon.  Something's wrong with this guy. Exit, stage right.

sadstrawberry · Answer

Is his name Ankit by any chance? And surname starts from D and he works in Reliance?

molonski2 · Answer

Go with your gut , its ridiculous , wayyyyyyy over the top like this is never , ever a good thing , this guy must be some kind of freak.

NatalieKeller95 · Answer

moving ahead way too soon, is a sign he's a catfish, have you asked to video chat with him, because if he denies or comes up with an excuse as to why he can't he's likely a scammer, be careful

SweetDripp · Answer

Two days of texting and he expects exclusivity? Sounds like you’ll be dealing with control issues early and often.

Dbtr99 · Answer

The love of his life after 2 days? Girl run!

Lara_Croft · Answer

Block him girl, I think he's letting you know the kind of guy he is. But it is well, God is Good

Yoursweetgirl · Answer

Yes, it's too much. Would be too much even for second week or second month

spartan55 · Answer

If you are in any sort of 'talking stage' nothing will happen. Bet.

summiter · Answer

That is way too quick and are u sure u want an ldr? I would slow things down a ton

elisyaamanda · Answer

Wow It is very over the top. It's sweet maybe that he's seriously into you, and the attention is, in itself not overly disturbing. That you haven't conveyed that you have any particularly strong interest is a concern though

handsomelad70 · Answer

"Eat You?" (I'm glad I'm old). He's love bombing you (thanks, Avicenna) because he's desperate.

Iron_Man · Answer

Nobody could feel that way that fast on the phone

DreamLife7 · Answer

Because all there is are left overs on apps. You and him both are left overs. So yes this is how leftovers act.

Yamaal · Answer

My girlfriend and I were just chatting for a month and a half, and we became a couple three days ago."🤗😃

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

lol, "says I'm the love of his life and says he wants to eat me" was that a typo?

boobliker · Answer

anything go in dating it what ever gets your man

OddBeMe · Answer

Yeah…. run for the hills. He has problems. Seriously.

Alexandra____ · Answer

In my opinion, i think it’s love bombing i may be wrong tho

ISFPCaramelPrincess · Answer

Yeah this is a red flag. Ever heard of love bombing? He also seems like a creep so I wouldn’t trust him it’s way too soon for this

JonesT10Apr · Answer

I didn't get your reply.. if you don't mind can I get understand through DM

Anonymous · Answer

Guy is too quick and only thinking about sex unless you brought it up already it’s strange for him to talk like that on the second day

laly520 · Answer

love bombing  a classic

Whataboutthis · Answer

Definitely be a bit careful about this. Seems pretty full on pretty quick haha

Alonzo_here · Answer

Everything happens for a purpose. But we need to have that patience to understand ✌️

sexymamimaria · Answer

That does sound like love bombing.

Anonymous · Answer

Do you talk him to death? Very social able with him

bobalife · Answer

It’s called love bombing lol

WhitneySnow · Answer

That’s way over the top

serious_miss419 · Answer

He’s possessive, get away from him

Massageman · Answer

If this isn't a joke, RUN!

Is he being too much from the second day of talking stage?

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