He says he does not have any needs. Is this possible?

[Anonymous]

He says he does not have any need, he does not want to have one either. He said it's easier for him to meet others needs, and he learned it; but it's hard for him to know his so he just lives without them.

Can this be possible or am I being misguided? Is this problem?

I'm not needy, I don't ask people stuff, but I know what I need to feel happy. He seems a little depressed now and says he has trouble with connections, so that's why I struggle to connect with him. Though he wants me close and does not want distance. I want to meet his needed, but he does not know what are those.

How can I deal with this type of person?

[OlderAndWiser]

He may be hung up on the word "need." Try asking him what he would like for you to do for him, and maybe be a role model by asking him to do a few things for you.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that does seem a little strange to me. No one can truly exist without any needs of their own. A few thoughts:

- It's possible he's depressed and has disconnected from understanding his own needs/wants as a result. Depression can do that.

- Or he could be saying that as a way to avoid vulnerability. Opening up about needs requires trusting others won't reject you.

- Either way, not letting yourself have needs is probably why he struggles with connection. Healthy relationships are built on both sides having needs met.

My advice would be gently encourage him to do some self-reflection. Maybe a journal where he writes things he enjoys or activities/topics that make him feel good. Small steps to reconnect with himself.

You could also share some of your needs in a safe way so he feels comfortable reciprocating. And set boundaries - remind him it's important for both people to know what they need from a relationship.

Go slow and don't try to "fix" him, just support his process. But don't lose sight of making sure your needs are being met too in the end. Hopefully over time he'll feel safer expressing his. Keep me posted!

[Anonymous]

The word "need" is seems somewhat negative, has some negative kind vibes that we are weak or something like that. Instead of asking "what you need" it could be better if we could ask "what can make you feel better now or what can make your life a little better for now".